Piss or Blood

I recently, (again!) had another handover from one Case Manager to another.

She was a good Case Manager, but she had been dragging her feet a little on my “goals” and it became obvious when there was a ‘new’ Case Manger and that she had been looking for work closer to home because she had a young daughter in Day care and she traveled an hour or so daily to get into Melbourne…

I’m quite over the process of getting a new Case Manager. I like to befriend them so they better understand who I am and what I’m about, so they can appreciate how much I do for myself and the importance of what I do actually ask of them. I like to treat them like my friends because I do want the best from them.

Anyway, I digress – On the last meeting the outgoing Case Manager was busy checking her phone.

She explained, she was concerned for a call from their Day care provider.

And she used the term ‘Piss or Blood!’

I look at my new Case Manager, a young fellow whom I like already. He refers to me as his favourite client, so he gets a K.P.I. ‘tick’ already.

This “Piss or Blood” comment needed explaining, so it goes like this:

If she gets a call and her daughter has had an “accident” that requires a change of underwear in the scheme of things it’s not a big thing. If there’s blood, that’s more worrying. But this is not yet the point.

So, there was once a time I would speak to my mum every day.

I don’t have family close by and I live alone. When I didn’t live alone, my housemates did my head ‘in’ and despite the extra expense of living alone, the upside to living alone are many…. To be continued.

I now only call home if I want or need something or something has gone particularly badly and I need some reassurance of how to fix it, because by that stage maybe simple decisions are beyond me.

But that doesn’t mean I get a timely response. If I call, text, email, please don’t ignore me. I shouldn’t need to tell you why for you to prioritize how swiftly to respond. Just do.

If I’m having a really shitty day with my mental health, I may not call you. I may send a cheeky emoji to a person not remotely related to me because they will respond and I won’t feel like I’m going through the “Blood” alone and no one cares.

It’s a really ordinary feeling to feel you are alone in the world.