Ugly Cry

Published September 23, 2024 by helentastic67

Ugly Cry

Jesus, I wept. I had to say goodbye to some old friends this weekend and I did the ugly cry. Even ice cream didn’t make it easier to bear, I had to pause the show to finish the ice cream so I could use my one good hand to administer tissues! Stat!

If you haven’t worked it out? I was watching the last season of a show I’ve been watching since 2018 and the final season of those show’s I like to save because my friends are still a part of life until I’ve finished it.

The title is a reference to the saying “Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things”. I got this quote from the wiki page, if you haven’t worked it out, the show was called “A Million Little Things” and it’s never too late to watch it.

I started this weekend needing to fast for a blood test. I really don’t love doing adulting on a weekend. (Definition of Adulting is Bra and Shoes) But alas, my Crazy Lady Hormone Doctors requirements are very specific. Vampire visit is required on the twenty first of the month. The upside to Adulting on a Saturday.

Weirdly, then felt hungover all friggin’ day. Which is weird because I don’t drink. Finished my Saturday with hydrolyte and ice cream while weeping and that was after the single feature on my Single Girl Date Nite where I watched the film that made Amber Heard and Johnny Depp household names. I mean “London Fields” was a reasonably decent film leaving you guessing until the end; however, I wasn’t interested in the blow-by-blow account of the court case then, I’m less interested now. If you don’t know, best left that way.

Also still dealing with the fallout from my recent fall. Pun intended. I keep biting my tongue. So, I have to have my Chiropractor adjust my jaw. Not looking forward to that. At least I didn’t knock out my teeth. I know right.

Here’s hoping for a calmer week so I can get some more blogging done. I mean I have a few in here where I’m planning to throw shade at vegans, strap in for that one.

Crazy Lady Hormones

Published April 3, 2023 by helentastic67

Crazy Lady Hormones

I have a parcel collection at a location close to home for when I have deliveries bigger than my letterbox. It’s at a Post Office inside a Chemist. I walk in and by the time I get to the counter for the post office they have seen me and located my parcel and it is waiting on the counter. How? You know what I’m saying?

The woman behind the counter has my parcel on the counter ready for me to take it. Service! Right? Or I get a lot of parcels and they just need the room for whatever will arrive fresh each day. I prefer the first option, that they just provide good service.

I have a tendency to tell them what I’m getting to amuse them and brighten their day a bit. The plague made snail mail (post office’s) as busy as Christmas season.

So, a few weeks ago I scoop up my parcel announcing “It’s my Crazy Lady Hormones!” from Queensland. I only ordered these Thursday, they were there the following day and I got to scoop them up the following Monday. I can see how they must have bigger parcels sit there longer to collect, hence the swift moving to the counter for me to collect.

Upon the look I received from the older woman, who I imagine thinks I’m too young for crazy lady hormone dramas, I announce “Yes! Got the hot flushes!” As she’s older than I am I enquire “when do they end?” Secretly hoping she doesn’t say something that kills my soul. Then she announces, “Helen I’m 64 and I’ve still got the hot flushes.

All I can think is, great. So, they last till I’m dead then? She killed my soul.

Crazy Lady Hormones

Published October 3, 2022 by helentastic67

Crazy Lady Hormones

Have been trying to keep my head above water lately. Have been super emotional and brittle, the last week with crazy lady hormones and other things I can’t mention. I’ve apparently hit the Pause! (A common term for Menopause)

Many people would read this and argue that HellOnWheels is not about brain injury. I say, “Shut the Fuck Up Who asked you” (Note, not a question!). While I’ve had my AVM all my life and didn’t know until I was 34, the treatment I had was radiation that hit the AVM from all different directions. Who is to say the part of my brain that manages all my crazy lady hormones wasn’t hit also.

Note my very non-Doctor terms. I’m not trying to become a doctor, so I have actively tried not to learn correct medical terms for “brain”. So, I don’t know if my years on Dexamethasone (for brain swelling) messed with my hormones rather than stopping my cycle for years or just messed with them. Is there even a test for that?

I actually have a Crazy Lady Hormone Doctor. I usually put the word “Bitch” in there but have to be careful where I put it because my doctor is not the bitch the hormones are. She’s awesome! By the way.

Years ago, I started asking my GP questions to sort out my hormones. The CLBH (Crazy Lady Bitch Hormones) and after I went to this clinic and then that female GP, my GP asked how much money I was going to spend sorting this problem out? The women out there reading this will appreciate it, when I was of the mindset I wasn’t trying to have a baby before the “window closed!” But I did want to not feel like crap two weeks out of every four fucking weeks. With little to show for it some months when Aunt Irma came visiting, but I also wanted to only be hot in summer, or if I went for a drive in a car on a hot day (I’m referring to the HOT FLUSHES people!)

Seriously, ladies! You hear me on this? So, I’ve been dealing with that and all the other fucking things and not holding it all together very well. Also, I barely consider discussing these things with my GP of 15+ years anymore on account of him being a HIM.

So, this is a part of where I’m at right now. Here’s your subliminal message in this week’s post.

Let’s call it a day.

Dark

Published February 28, 2020 by helentastic67

Dark

Okay, going full dark today and I’m not feeling depressed in any way while I write this. Quite the opposite really, but I will suggest I’m going to lose my male followers, before too long, much to their loss.

5, 4, 3, 2,

Most of my carers these days are older than me and a few of my friends. Which is great! Fine! Great, I’m not complaining because they bring a wealth of womanly advice.

And 1

Bet the guys are all gone.

Every month or so, the ladies and I get stuck on the topic of Crazy-Lady hormones.

Any guys still reading? Hit me with a like or a comment if you still are.

So, ladies this post is about sliding into the ‘Pause’ (yes Menopause) Apart from the irregular periods (shark week) and the heavy one month, light the next or the all-out ‘all the Crazy symptoms and a complete no-show of obvious. It came, no babies (said 1 young carer years ago)

One of my older carers and I used to share a conversation and you have all heard these stories.

Back in the day, picture the 60’s and theirs a couple chatting about their mutual friends. Two couples married around the same time, raised their children around the same time, holidayed together, worked together, did casserole night, you know, you get the picture. Then all of sudden, it goes full dark.

“Oh, I don’t know what happened, they were perfectly happy, married fifteen years, little ‘whoopsie’ was good at cricket (or whatever sport of the day) and then all of a sudden, he came home one day after work while she was cooking dinner and she just stabbed him to death. The Coroners report stated he was stabbed forty-seven times.

And now she lives in a mental asylum.

Scene end!

So, my carer and I share a look and a smile and this is the important part, if the guys kept reading.

Menopause SUCKS!

Here’s what the wife dealt with that day, the kids, the housework, the shopping, cooking, ironing, laundry, the crazy itching, the hot flushes one moment and then the cool the next. The kids. And then the husband comes home and complained about why was it so cold inside?

Read the room. Don’t mess with a woman who has limited control over what is going on with her hormones.

She doesn’t know what’s going on.

Ergo, case in point.

Stabbed forty-seven times.

You are welcome.

Today’s Lunch 6th September 2018

Published September 6, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays Lunch

Today’s lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Allow me to start with some good news and a shout-out to one of my carers who is currently away. Well, miss you and my new bag is fine. A friend visited late last week with her skates on! (No, really!) and she lengthened the strap on my new bag prompting me to let you know I’m enrolling you into an extensive 1 to 1, 6 months full time course on how to lengthen straps on bags. My friends going to give you an exclusive course. I know, 6 months. Never fear, you will come out with a certificate one, in bag strap adjusting totally worth it! I imagine you can use these skills for the rest of your life. Totally worth it! (Yes, I am kidding)

New bag

I am not nailing this 1am bedtime curfew. I can’t manage to make it to bed by 1, then I hear the street cleaners before too long anyway. Then get woken the first time around 4am. People wonder why I’m so grumpy.

Grumpy cat

So, planning plenty of writing today. With lunch of course.

Well, if you read my posts each day you might have noticed, that didn’t happen on the correct date. Yes, Wednesday I went back to bed with a crappy migraine, slept until 5pm and it was quiet on the home front as the trams weren’t running. There is a tram stop at my door for the city. I had caught a tram home later in the afternoon on Tuesday and it was pure agony. Buses replacing trams, I had followed directions in Clifton Hill from my usual tram stop to the train station to get a bus. After going up and down the ramps to get to speak to an actual person and given more terrible half-baked directions, I walked even further to be directed to a bus. There were 3 men in hi-vis on the bus, none of whom knew what the hell was happening.

Trams

Get a clue people! Should I mention do not prove incompetent when a woman is sliding into the pause. My crazy lady hormones are playing up and I can’t do person properly! Good thing I stayed at home Wednesday.

Crazy lady hormones

Thursday, I more than made up for it. After my carer did my cleaning I went out for lunch. A nice local, I used to do lunch at 15 years ago when I worked not far from where I now live. They specialise in Lebanese pizza’s. so, haloumi cheese. I always order a vegetarian pizza (don’t judge me) with salami. Plus, I settled in for 2 medicines to deal with my migraine that just does not want to go away!

Vegetarian Pizza

Latte

Latte 2

Upon returning home I got down in to B1, where my scooter shed lives and dug around in my gardening supplies to pot some of my bulbs. Some things went home or were thrown out when I moved so it’s going to take time to restock.

Pot plants

While I can already predict next week will be chaos, hopefully I’ll get back to my regular haunt to see familiar faces.

Chaotic week

Cheers,
H

Great week

Crazy Lady Hormones and AVM

Published November 15, 2017 by helentastic67

Crazy lady hormones

Crazy Lady Hormones and AVM

This weeks “Today’s Lunch” has been postponed until next week.

This post is going to be exactly what you imagine it will be. So, if you are a guy (not sure I have many male followers to worry about) but if you’re still reading, strap yourself in!

My periods started at the usual time as most girls in my early teens. What we never realised is that those special blue pills that stop us killing men? (commonly known as Naprogesic) are blood thinners.

You add ½ a dozen of those, every month. Something probably happened more often than I realised, but didn’t realise exactly what, it meant was that in a perfect storm I was probably lucky I didn’t have a stroke.

Blood Thinners

One morning not long before my diagnosis I recall a bitterly cold morning, getting up to go to work. Conveniently a day Aunt Irma (IT Crowd reference) was coming to visit.

Aunt Irma

I conveniently had to wash my hair that morning and being so cold I made sure I had it hot.

Turns out water also makes your blood thin. When I had more blood in and around my brain, than normal I would get dizzy and I mean I was dizzy, I recall drying my hair a little with a towel and putting it up (in a bun that I still wear as my style) I recall drying and putting pyjamas back on, setting my alarm and going back to bed to sleep it off. I woke a few hours later to restart my day.

When I was finally diagnosed, I was told emphatically NO MORE BLOOD THINNERS!

After several years on and off the steroids (Dexamethazone) for brain swelling, sometimes my period just didn’t come for 6 months or more.

About 4 years ago, I actually went on the pill, because once a month I was an emotional mess. Rather than the previous five months, I just wanted to kill someone. I traded up to a whole day where EVERYTHING upset me EVERYTHING MADE ME CRY.

Crying

Get up, get undressed, cry! Get in the shower, cry! Get out of the shower, cry! Get the point?

Not let Helen take her second coffee in the cinema when she’d previously taken her first coffee in. Cry!

Have I mentioned, you don’t mess with me and coffee? No seriously!

Coffee 1

About a year ago, I came off the pill to find out if I was menopausal. Yeah, that word. I was only 43 years old and no I wasn’t and still am not, to my knowledge.

Menopausal

Turns out it was probably a good thing I didn’t meet my soul mate (yeah, I believe in that crap!) because I might have wanted children. I always imagined I would, but if it had I might not be here at all.

Soulmate

When you’re pregnant ladies. (presuming only the ladies kept reading) your bodies blood volume doubles. My AVM would not have coped. If my child had made it (there has been no child) I might not have made it.

So, babies, right? Not for everyone.

Privilege not a right.

Anyway, a lot of background to get to my point!

Had a bit of a tummy ache this week. Would have been mistaken to think it was Aunt Irma and except she visited last week for all of about 12 minutes. Felt that way anyway. Think I sneezed a few times and it was over.

Meanwhile the app on my phone last week had told me, it was due in six days, on the 2^nd February, 2017 and its currently early October.

Don’t know when you’ll be reading this but my point ABI/AVM/Crazy Lady hormones.

Not happy Jan.