Family – Part 2

Published March 13, 2017 by helentastic67

Family Pt 2

Family Part 2

I’ve been procrastinating this topic, because it’s not an easy topic to cover. I don’t know how other bloggers deal with this however, maybe I should be able to say what I like and if family can’t cope, they can start their own blog. However, what generally would happen would be that any assistance I currently have from family would quickly dry up.

We like to imagine that if someone is sick, has a disability or is dying (I’m not dying in case you’re wondering) empathy would kick in and any other ‘issues’ you have had with that person or family member, you would be the bigger person and put it aside, get over it or just move one.

I luckily, have both parents still on this plain, they are 66 and 67 which is younger than most of my friend’s parents. And they have not been together for the last twenty years.

I also have two surviving siblings. My family was rocked by severe grief when I was only 9 years old, when a younger sister died from cancer.

People don’t know how to deal with grief, so they stay away. Apparently ignoring a situation that makes people uncomfortable, makes it easier. So, our family pulled through and when I was a month shy of my 16^th birthday there was another baby in the house.

There I was at 16, a full-time student, working a supermarket job, 15 hours a week (Yes! I was a checkout chick) and changing nappies and babysitting. And preparing (like there was any time) to spread my wings to move to study.

I should point out over Christmas, I had several jobs to help save for College.

This sister is now 28 and living back at home with my mum in the country.

It’s hard to bond with this sister as she has been raised by mum only from the age of 7 and while she moved out of home to study for a few years, she’s now back at home, working and saving for the things in your 20’s. Like travel.

I attempted to bond with her over GOT (Game of Thrones).

Game of Thrones

She watched the 1^st season and decided she wanted to read the books, then mum decided to read the books before they would watch it together. And I’m out…

My older sister actually lives closest to me, about an hour away and I see her less than 5 times a year.

She and I lived together twice in my 20’s and to say it didn’t go well, would be an understatement. Other than I didn’t get a real job, I’m not completely sure what I did wrong to offend her, but when we are together, it’s hard…

Sisters

Family

Published February 23, 2017 by helentastic67

family-1

Family

I’m yet to unpack and draw a picture about my family and I’m getting there but things come up all the time so……

My Mum is my biggest supporter and occasionally my biggest critic, but Truly Ruely.

My Mum has been the only family who has been there when I’ve been in hospital and there is nothing worse than having my Mum look down at me with that look I recognise as “Oh my God Don’t let me watch another of my children die!”

sad-mum

And to be clear she gave me this look after my Disc bulge surgery. The nurse came in and felt she needed to remind me I could sue the morphine button. And the look my mum was giving me, having just seen my scar (covered in tape) and to let Mum know I was okay. I gave her the acronym STFU! The nurse looked started and my only interest was when I was allowed up to go pee. It was three days, I think! Three fucking days! I’m just saying. This once; THEY DON’T MAKE BEDPANS FOR WOMEN!

But more about my family soon.

family-2

Retrograde

Published August 12, 2016 by helentastic67

cat-bad-hair-day_12

Retrograde

Have a very bad case of procrastination now! And it’s partly because I just want to write about what’s happening in life now and partly because in order to have any of it make sense you need to know about what happened in the past. And as far as the post, I’m up to telling about some of the “hard parts”! So I guess were going RETROGRADE! Just for a little while!

And I might start by mentioning how important a woman’s hair is to her self-worth and her identity. And I mention this, perhaps (again) because it’s important…

My treatment, literally 20 (?) day’s ended on a Friday. On the weekend my partner (sorry, boyfriend) had his daughter with us and on the Sunday morning I got in the shower to wash my hair, so I could be presentable for an outing. We went to some typical ‘family’ adventure in Carlton and my scalp had been a little itchy around the hairline around the back.

I took my hair down, usually worn in a bun and I had matted bits. I pulled them out and got in the shower. I would normally brush it with conditioner in it. There was a corner part of the bath (shower over bath) where I could sit and as I brushed it, it kept coming out in my hands.

I don’t recall crying that day. I didn’t know how bad it was. I got out of the shower dried, dressed and put my hair up (wet).

Then I looked in the mirror!

No hair Helen

It was bad!

It was so obvious how much hair I’d lost, I had my boyfriend bring me my phone and I rang a friend. An old lady who lived in an old people’s village in the same suburb.

I had waited in the bathroom not wanting to scare my boyfriend’s daughter as she was about 4 years old!

I also didn’t know how to fashion/style the scarf, so she helped me with that also.

We went out and someone’s young daughter was looking at me oddly. I felt very self-conscious and I felt a little like the young girl thought I was a Muslim woman. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

The Monday morning, I washed my hair again and this time I did cry. I also had the time to cry as well. And I got how Samantha from (SATC) had felt!

I wept!

That day, I texted my boyfriend and said simply ‘Hey Honey, can you buzz my hair off tonight?’ to which he simply replied ‘sure’ or ‘yes’ or whatever! And that is how I came to lean forward over the bathroom sink about once a month for six months until it started to grow back evenly.

When we had this routine our conversations went something like this;

Keeping in mind my boyfriend wore his hair as a Number one and was from the States and yet to get his permanent residency.

‘I wonder where the local recruitment office is’

To which I would answer;

They will take you before they take me!’

Oh, how we laughed!

What follows is a series of photos of my hair, or lack of and stages of it growing back.

I had pretty much stuck to the same hairstyle since I grew my hair out at about 16, so I really never thought to keep it short.

My bun and long hair had been my style ever since. I have curlier hair when it’s short and that translates to I hate curls!

Now about 8 years later I’m back to a once yearly haircut even if it means I have 4 inches off. I’m OK with that. Its reasonable low maintenance and I wash it on a Monday and Friday, my carers brushing it for me as I stand in the shower then they put it up for me. Sunday and Thursday being my messy hair days.

There are short bits around my temple and the back that drives me crazy another reason I don’t think short hair is for me…

Bad hair day

My anxiety would make me play with it a lot and I don’t need that. So, I figure.

Anyway, that’s enough about hair because when I complained about it to my nurse where I had my treatment she told me not to complain as I was ‘Lucky to have hair!’

I just wish I’d been told to get some hats! I was given a voucher of $50 for a wig and by the time that happened some of the side effects had kicked in and I didn’t have 2 working arms to put on a wig… If anyone has ever brought a wig or gone shopping for one, they would also tell you $50 is not going to help!

When I had no hair I really noticed old men sporting the comb-over hairdo! They really seemed to be more noticeable then. I wanted to go stand next to them and take off my hat and tell them;

comb-over

‘Let it go! It’s gone! The fights over!’

Santa

Published July 1, 2016 by helentastic67

Kris Kringle

Santa!

I’ve been asking people this month what they get from Santa?

I’ve only really got another week of this to go I think, anything past January might be pushing my luck, but generally the reaction I get is an odd look that tells me I’m being nosy and they don’t know why I’m asking. So I explain…

If you tell me what Santa gave you, I can judge if it’s a good present or a rubbish present. Yes, I’m a good judge of this! And of course, if you got a crap present then that tells me Santa thought you weren’t good last year!

Present is always a drama in our family. A few years ago we gave into my older sister’s insistence to do a Kris Kringle, so we only need to get one gift.

I love buying gifts, however cash strapped Santa is a bit of a mood-kill!

Christmas for me becomes the time I can ‘ask’ for the things I didn’t get for my birthday. And in recent years it’s been a way family could get things for me that I needed. Underwear! Yes! I know! It happened! The worst gifts at Christmas are jocks, socks and handkerchiefs! Unless you get Thunderpants!

They just make me so very happy!

Thunderpants

Check them out at http://www.thunderpants.co.nz

This year I also bought myself the two books I always hope for that are purposely released in time for the gift giving season.

Whatever Jamie Oliver’s latest cook book is and whatever new Patricia Cornwall book is also in stores.

I don’t read the novels anymore. With my eyesight it hurts to read but because of how organised I am, it hurts my pocket some to bury them but would hurt my brain more to thinking my bookcase is incomplete.

Bookcase 1

*Note – the books that are note spire facing out are the ones I’ve not read. So it’s how I can tell I’ve not read them.

P.S. Keep in mind I don’t wrap presents anymore it’s rather disappointing results when you have to gift wrap one-handed! But, I sent gifts home a few weeks earlier and they never got wrapped! Then, I had to remind them “Where were they?”

What did I do last year that was so bad?