Paper

Hipsters

In late 2022 I made a purchase of a useful household item. Not my first of its kind but this time, wanting it to last considerably longer than the previous version I had purchased, I doubled and somewhat I spent. A bin in my study, gradually getting out of control giving me license to go make the purchase from Officeworks. One of my favourite places to shop these days, but this purchase has meant I could stop considering taking or even asking places I go regularly if I could take some of this growing pile to my appointments. Didn’t ever but thought about asking.

When I made this purchase finally, my carer got it out of the box and we both “the 2 Helen’s!” sat around it like it was an outdoor fire on the cold winter night and shared the joy of feeding it with paper.

Have you worked it out yet?

I bought a paper shredder. Each different kind of paper or envelope raiding the question “Can it do this?” The answer was always YES IT CAN.

Just so you know, never have you had so much fun with your clothes on in your home or at the office. But alas, soon enough the pile of paperwork was gone. I have let the pile build again.

Today, I have revisited the pile in my study, dragging the shredder out from its home under the desk. Five minutes in I had not realised late 2022 I had bought a Hipster into my home. It does 5 minutes work then it’s too hot apparently and proceeds to take the next forty fucking minutes off. It’s like a Barista! Makes part of a coffee then checks its socials. FFS!

Cat Toys

I have discovered my cat’s favourite toy. I was (as I call it) cat-less for about two years, between my beloved Jamima, Patch the Pirate cat Puddle Duck.

Before getting Mika, just Mika. Or as I sometimes mistakenly call her Ja-Mika. SHUT UP.

Yes, I might have a type it’s tortoise shell. Once you go tortoise shell, you don’t go back. There’s a crazy little psycho in there in everyone.

Anyway, I digress at first, I did what many parent does, I got out Jamima’s old toys, some of which she showed no interest in what so ever and that tradition seems to have been continued.

Of course, like any new hopeful pet owner when the time came, I went out and bought what I like to call the ‘bird on the stick’ and the ‘snake on the stick’. These just live on the bed these days.

Actually, she’s on her second ‘bird’ as one day there appeared to have been a massacre of a bird on the bed.

But, however her favourite toy, I discovered purely by accident as we all do.

One evening, as I was sitting on the couch catching up on my admin, I crumpled up a piece of paper quarter of an A4. Mika appeared from nowhere like a meerkat in front of my legs.

The meerkat version of Mika, sitting on her rump, head twisting from side to side and keen interest on what was in my hand. I threw the wad of paper towards the apartment door. Mika did go get it. I don’t know where she takes them, but occasionally I go around within ‘Reachy-Grabby – thing’.

And collect the balls of paper from every nook and cranny. Tonight, I found this under my Happiness cabinet.

Fuck! I nearly died laughing. There was another toy there, but Mika came and took it away before I could get a photo. I think my neighbours might think a crazy woman lives here.