Circle Back to 2024

Published February 17, 2025 by helentastic67

Circle Back to 2024

So, I thought I should circle back to part of why 2024 was such a shit show. I started the year with a really good support coordinator. I thought no issues on the horizon so why not bring in a third carer agency to take the pressure off one of my other two, so I get some more variety with carers.

Since the start of Covid I was getting one carer for four shifts per week which I worked out quickly was three too many.

Having carers over the year you work out over time and pretty quickly who you mesh well with, who you can rely on and who you can be flexible, because sometimes it is me and my expectations. Can I work around different personalities, or should I not need too? When I asked if I could have less of this carer, I was told it was her or no one. I was also told they were recruiting. The number of times, I’ve been told they are recruiting in the last fifteen plus years, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I would be living in a house not an apartment.

Alas, my support coordinator No.1 for 2024, set me up with a new agency, we did the three-way zoom intro meet and greet thing. (Never done one of those before) Then I went to the countryside for about four days to help clear out my father’s house in late January. WHEN I RETURNED TO PULL THE TRIGGER ON THE NEW CARER, I WAS TOLD SHE HAD TAKEN EMPLOYMENT ELSEWHERE! Then, I was told they had a lack of carers in my area and would keep me on the books. You bet I was told they were recruiting in my area.

Just a FYI. It’s now a year later and I’ve not heard from them again. So, I digress, my really good support coordinator was promoted to Team Leader. It is the only progression for that position in a company, so I think it was my third in about five years I’d lost my Support Coordinator to being Team Leader. Although they always moved on, I gather soon after.

AND YES, IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME I’D BEEN TOLD THEY WERE RECRUITING MORE SUPPORT COORDINATORS ID HAVE A GOOD HANDFUL OF GOLD COINS.

The new support coordinator, in July we were already discussing and planning a request for a review of my NDIS funds.

I Live Alone

Published July 21, 2024 by helentastic67

I Live Alone

In previously mentioned zoom meeting, we discussed many things. One point came up where it was revealed a few of us live alone. One woman I had not met before stated “I live alone because I like the company!” Or it’s what I thought she said, but I responded with “I live alone because I fucking hate people!”

Turns out she had also stated she has the radio on because she likes the company, I still stand by my statement.

It’s not easy living with others when you have disabilities. It’s not easy to live alone either. It’s something I’ve tried to do since forever and its common to be taken advantage of financially and otherwise.

So I’ve heard.

Brittle

Published July 15, 2024 by helentastic67

Brittle

So, was in a Zoom meeting this week with a group I really enjoy being part of. It’s not completely women and sometimes I’ve been known to use the term, “Ladies!” Later thinking Damn it! Fucked it again.

Alas, I digress, at the start of every meeting we go around the group and do an internal weather check-in. If you are thinking this is soft, think again. It’s a chance to check in and find out how everybody is. Some meetings it’s also useful if there is anything that will get in the way of the meeting. In that meeting, I’m always tired, but share, I’ve got “Medicine and treats!” to get me through, medicine being coffee and treats being chocolate coated coffee beans just to begin.

I still got caught resting my eyes during the financial reports of that meeting. How do I know where the money went? I didn’t take it. Nothing worse than struggling to keep your eyes open and someone has obviously noticed because the split second your eyes stay closed a millisecond too long, they curtly say your name. PRESENT! Anyway, in the check in I mentioned I was feeling brittle. Going through the existential crisis again and then was a little too broken up to speak. But it became the topic of the day. My common crisis revolves around. Is this it now?

I have no real way to work to improve my financial situation, as I let go of groups and contacts I’ve been associated to in over fifteen years, I have reached my level to tolerate people and trying to make change in a group setting.

The two groups I’m still part of, I stay connected because I feel it’s always good to remain tethered somewhere. If you don’t and can’t work, you can’t drive to explore and be fully independent, your connections cease to be family, who might be far away, but people who actively choose to be part of your life.

There are always layers to grief and not just the loss of loved ones but the end of friendships, the history and shared experiences during the hard times. And the older we get the harder it is to give a flying tutti fruity to make new friends.

Internal Weather

Published August 14, 2023 by helentastic67

Internal Weather

Recently, I’ve been part of a bunch of different community groups on zoom. They are groups big and small with people with all kinds of disabilities. It’s been good as at the beginning we all are asked what our internal weather is. It’s like a check in.

Today, I answered with what would solve the short-term problems I had. I was fresh from an hour long zoom that was just two of us and a very friendly chat.

So, my answer was “Nothing that would be fixed with food, chocolate, coffee, sleep and drugs.” and sometimes, I think this is too easy. I’ve just written another blog post.

Larrisa and Julie – Chatting with a Self-Advocate

Published March 12, 2023 by helentastic67

2023 Episode 2 – Join Larissa and Julie — Chatting with a Self-Advocate

So, today I’ve got a little treat for you. So, strap yourself in.

A friend asked if I wanted to be interviewed for a radio show? Sure, because I fully believe I have a face for radio. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m hideous but these days I look in the mirror and think to myself, it is what it is and I leave the apartment anyway.

Then I learnt the radio interview would be via ZOOM! FFS so, the treat today is this is really what Hellonwheels looks like. Including swearing in context.

And yes, I always looked stoned and I have never even smoked a cigarette let alone a joint, I just naturally look like I’m about to pass out.

Note, you get the added little bonus of me impersonating a Nona. Impersonation so look for that.

Later that day it was recorded, all I could think was all the things I forgot to mention, but Lara insisted I might have forgotten all the other things if I’d remembered to list all the things about my body that are now, for want of a better word, fucked.

Guess I’ll do a post on that soon enough. You’re welcome.

Different

Published January 17, 2022 by helentastic67

Different

Was catching up on some of my data entry today when I realised how well I cope with my brain injury. So well, people often forget my AVM/ABI is not so much mental but physical.

I guess the point of my blog is to educate people that all brain injuries are different. While catching up on my data entry, which is a lovely excel spreadsheet where I record the carer hours and other services for future reference, I realised a date in November 2020 I had so much on at the same time it wasn’t funny. Yet I can cope. This particular day, I had my Personal Care (PC), carer for an hour. My community access carer, despite not going out arrived just ahead of the PC chick. All of which I can work with, as can they.

I still had to be presentable as I had a committee meeting via Zoom. While I don’t do make-up when I’m not out of my home (apartment!). I won’t do make-up to stay at home, but I do need to not do colour and then I remembered my MOTHER was here. It was not planned; it was very last minute the night before. But it is what it is.

My mum had gone out to her appointment and returned by the end of the Zoom meeting.
By which time my handyman had arrived. My handyman comes once yearly for a spring clean. Does windows on the inside, the fan covers in the bathroom, any areas on walls or floor that take a serious hit and it’s not the light cleaning my weekly HC (home care) carers need to do. Suddenly with too many warm bodies in my apartment, a complaint goes out that it’s too hot and can the A/C go on? Well, it’s set still too hot but here’s the remote, work it out.

Still three people are in my home and I’m to prioritise what everybody wants as the most important thing to solve first. At this point I get a bit grumpy. OK! We are working on it, if you can’t help, don’t be part of the problem my mum gets the heater to cool air.

There is a new calm. Mum makes her lunch and coffee and departs for her long drive home. What she was here for had been achieved.

Despite what she may think of how I feel about my mum. My mum is a ROCKSTAR! She really is.

The second carer gets her stuff done for me and departs. It’s just me and the handyman and a recently departed carer visits for a bit. She distracts the handyman briefly with talk of fruit trees and such. I’m meant to roll with the punches, it’s fine. The handyman goes, as does the visitor.