Slave

Published November 25, 2016 by helentastic67

slave_o_368114

Slave

That old line “You get what you pay for!” Trust me! This is not going where you think it is…….

A few years ago, I had Botox in my calf. Seems a waste of good Botox, I know because no one cares if my calf looks ‘younger’ or not! But it was in fact to help me walk better.

botox-calf-muscle

The overall theory was so it would relax certain muscles in my foot so I could walk properly and stop the hyper-extension in my knee, so years from now I won’t require a knee replacement.

hyperextended-knee

In this country, they like to wait until you are “10 years from death” before they give you one. Knee replacements only last 10 years, but how do you know when death will actually occur?

I know, I can’t afford to live past 5pm today however, in this lifetime I’m yet to achieve what I think I’m here to achieve. I don’t yet know what that is, but I’d like to want to hang around to give it a red hot go!

Anyway, as per usual, I digress!

Because I’m a slave to the Public Medical system, because I’m lucky to be articulate and apparently ‘respond’ well to treatments. I am often asked to participate in trials, studies, have students sit in on appointments, the list goes on, believe me!

public-health

So, I was part of a trial over a year ago.

The outcome for the trial was to get Botox on the PBS for all lower limbs, for stroke, MS (whatever) Botox is wasted in faces and more useful in arms, armpits, calves etc.

Digress again.

So, Botox in calf muscles and into hospital! Rehab and the food and isolation is the same!

I may have neglected to mention somewhere that I have this totally awesome thing called a “Drop-foot” (it’s not a cool thing at all)

dropfoot-foot-drop

It’s common for people who have had a stroke! I can’t lift my toes when I walk, it means I drag my toes when I walk, I scuff them.

Botox, relaxes muscles in certain areas. I had my first plaster cast (ever) at age 42 and I didn’t even have anything broken.

And the idea was my calf and foot were forced into a position to better deal with an AFO (Ankle, foot orthotic) that would help my walking and stop the hyper-extension.

But it wasn’t just ‘A’ cast it was ‘A’ cast for a week, then a second cast for the second week! To say, I don’t cope well in hospital is an understatement!

legcast

They told me if I could keep the cast dry and wouldn’t be at risk of falling over I could go home, but even though at great cost to me, I was catching taxis to my appointments, several days a week. I was stressed and suffering migraines most days and they wouldn’t even give me sufficient medication when I had actually supplied my own! (Dr prescribed) medication.

It’s a form of bullying but don’t get me started. They would turn up (Nurses) with a little white pill and I would ask ‘is it Endone? That will do nothing, but it was all I was allowed to have. So ‘Fine!’ Give it! See you in 30 minutes!’ And I just stopped asking!

little-white-pill

So, there was no internet in my hospital! Or there was, but it was so slow, I attempted to post something to Facebook because according to 1^st world problems law that’s what you do.

‘Wah! Poor me! I’m in hospital! Getting something fixed that was working perfectly well until I was a dickhead! And now even though my condition is 100% fixable, I want SYMPATHY!!!

sympathy-quotes

Sorry for the rant! But this is based on actual events! They were in the same hospital at the same time, but I neglected to visit!

Do I sound bitter? Not sorry!

They promised me an AFO and shoes the day I left the hospital. They cast my leg the day I left the hospital for the AFO which was to be custom made.

I didn’t get it until a few weeks later. The day I left the hospital, my mum bought me shoes! Because, they told me I had to have been released a month before they could apply for the funding for the shoes!

After wearing the wrong shoes for about 6 months, nearly rolling my ankle and blisters on my foot, I had to protect with self-funded Band-Aids (thanks mum – again)

Side bar! Why blisters are bad 101!

foot-blister

Blisters can lead to ulcers, which can lead to open wounds. As I can’t really feel my left foot, until things really hurt, but by then it’s too late. Do I need to explain this further?

Let’s move on.

So, get the shoes eventually, 6 months later. That was quick because I finished the process with regular calls to Sweppe (The funding body) and the Orthotists at the hospital to nudge things along. And rather than me being able to go to the medical shoe specialist as I had asked the funding again went to the hospital and I ended up with Dr Comfort shoes. They sound like Grandma Shoes don’t they?

Well, No. 1 they still didn’t do what they were meant to!!!

dr-comfort-shoes

After only 3 months of these non-medical shoes I went to see my private orthotist and he looked at the AFO that the hospital had made for me and he stated he wouldn’t have made it like that! And that it had not fixed the Hyper-Extension. Super!

A short time after this, my Sweppe-funded shoes died some. They wouldn’t fund another pair for 12 months. Growl! And my mum drove me across town to a Medical shoe shop and had me fitted for another pair of shoes. I was told these shoes would last years and even if they needed some work they would last forever. Again, upon seeing my AFO, she stated she had “never seen one like that”

medical-shoes

Again, no comfort what-so-ever. My mum funded those shoes. $310.00 be a use I otherwise wouldn’t have any shoes and would be house bound. Pass! I later had my case management organisation refund her……..but it took time.

They are the most expensive shoes I think I’ve ever owned! Young Janus describes them as prison warden shoes. I really miss my Adidas Gazelles. They were the last of my personality and ability to wear my Street-Wear and show something of my personality pre-disability.

friday

And yet, this story is far from over!

Next!

Motivation

Published November 21, 2016 by helentastic67

Lack of motivation

Motivation

Plenty to write about at the moment, just lacking the motivation to do so. Sometimes, the living life and dealing with idiots gets to me. There’s the daily carers on those days I aim to be presentable to get out of the house, the call to keep those things ticking over! The constant negotiations to keep even those things to happen. And hoping and praying that at the end of the month, I have the money to pay the rent on time! I like to pay things on or before the due date. I don’t like having to rely on others to do more than I need them to, so I’m disappointed or let down.

carer

Right now, I’m mentally preparing for my 2^nd appeal for my Pension and the debt. I’m hoping I can appeal to their humanity (I know, I’m crazy) because no matter how it goes on the day, if it’s a positive outcome, my mum will claim victory and if it’s a negative outcome, my mum will interrogate me as to what I said and that it was somehow pivotal to their decision.

lack-of-money

I hope what I say expressed to them how their decision will impact if I have to move (AGAIN) if I will need to live further from my comfort zone, in a less safe area! Further from the services I rely on and even if I can afford to buy the 2 new pairs of pants I wear all year round, but time getting new ones, just in time for winter when I need the added warmth more. Two new pairs cost less than $100.00 and I’m struggling with the concept that this is not the world I want to live in!

track-pants

But I can’t afford to survive or live anywhere else!

My hand is numb! Stopping now!

the-end

Neuro – Part 2

Published November 18, 2016 by helentastic67

Neuro – Part 2

Oh, and it’s happened more times than I can count that there was a ‘student’ in the room.

nuero-1

So even though I could easily quickly depart, I usually turn to them and point out all the things they might not have picked up on.

I will lift up my pants leg and show them the AFO (Ankle Foot Orthotic)

plastic-afo

I describe where I’ve had Botox injected in both my calf and my arm and I tease open my hand and perform my party trick.

party-trick

Anyway, the goal of having that Neuro appointment and everything and be there on time. I wanted an MRI (Magnetic Resonating Imagery) for my left temple.

I had, had a fall although years ago, it had not been attended to back then. I had smashed my head against a wall. (Not on purpose) and at the time the shoulder had taken precedence.

I wanted my migraines investigated. As I imagined A & B to be related?

a-to-b-walk

And lastly, I threw the problem out of my pins and needles in my good hand!

Left, results.

No MRI – that query was ignored despite the suggestion that I had probably suffered a concussion of some sort.

The migraines? Drugs! I have filled the script but being dumbed down and feeling hung over every day is not my idea of a solution.

drugs

And the 3^rd issue? CARPEL TUNNEL!

carpel-tunnel

That’s just all I need!

Neuro

Published November 14, 2016 by helentastic67

stroke-clinic

Neuro!

Part 1

I’m seeing a Neuro (as in Neurologist or Surgeon) tomorrow at a Stroke Clinic at the Alfred Hospital.

I haven’t been to a specialist for maybe 5 years, since having been given the ‘all-clear’.

But I’m thinking how to cover the things he might need to hear to get some ‘Action’!

Might start with a stocktake of the last 7 days and how many of those days were migraine free:

Let’s see Monday – Migraine

Tuesday – Hangover from said migraine

Wednesday – Hung-over still

Thursday – Slept until 2pm!

migraine-diary

And that was while a chainsaw was going on next door and when that stopped they went on to the wood chipper!

Had I prepared to leave the house I would have fed that operator into the wood chipper!

Friday – OK, I think

Saturday – bit of a niggle behind my eye.

Sunday – again!

So total migraine free days – 1

Part 2

Well, that all turned out to be a bit of a bust! Keeping in mind consistency is the key.

Public clinic’s (Specialist ones run within the hospitals) you need to request to have the same specialist each time. I even go to the point of calling the day before to confirm I get to see the same guy who has always seen me.

And despite all my efforts, which include a mention to reception on the way in, I end up in a small consulting room with someone who looks younger than me!

I know, I know! I’m not saying only see a Neurologist if they are old and grey! But I don’t know, I think I want them to be older than I am.

Oh yeah. And there always seems to be a student in the room. Because I always feel compelled to explain all the things that have been discussed. Ie. What Botox is good for, not just faces…..having had Botox in my arm twice and my calf twice also.

botox

Emjoi’s

Published November 11, 2016 by helentastic67

emjoi-1 Emoji’s!

I confess to say, I’m a huge fan of the emoji! I text a lot! And the last time there was an update on my phone I decided to investigate if there was anything new or amazing….

I found a particular emoji that left me thinking “WTF am I ever going to have reason to use that!”

And yet ‘that’ emoji is the weird thing I send to people all the time. I’ve created reasons to send it to people. Times when I know they are working late.

Working long stressful hours or when I know they are likely to be dealing with a serious family medical issue. Just to bring their face a smile and change the tone of the day.

Sometimes I’ll even use it like a Full-stop to finish a conversation when I’m dealing with challenging or difficult people!

And that emoji is the ‘bikini emoji”

Good isn’t it?

Handy Hint No. 1

Published November 7, 2016 by helentastic67

hints1

Handy Hint No. 1

If you ever have to go to emergency in a hurry, always take your mobile phone charger!

phone-charger

Dealing with hospitals such at the best of times, but unexpected visits and stays can drag out and if your phone dies, you are screwed!

Try accessing your contact on your mobile!

contacts

Giving out your room phone number and people just keep calling you back on your mobile!

Case in point – PEOPLE DON’T LISTEN!

doesnt_listen

I once had to consider giving up my Gluten-Free ice cream to a young doctor who was only prepared to loan me his charger if I bartered my ice cream.

lactose-free-ice-cream

I’m not Gluten-Free, but that ice cream and having a saline drip is the only good thing about being in hospital. The saline drip flushes your kidneys and liver and is like having a facial.

Home

Published November 4, 2016 by helentastic67

home-2

Home

I currently and have only ever lived as an independent adult in private rentals. And obviously in recent years on a Disability Pension and the rental market increasing, it’s been ever so much more challenging, but I manage. I decided 3 years ago, I was done having to have a housemate and for the last 3 years, I’ve lived alone.

There are many pitfalls to having gotten to this point in my life and still being alone, but it was not for a lack of trying.

Anyway, currently I live in a spacious unit on a large block with only 2 other units. Luckily I’m at the front so have street views. The other units have had turnover since I moved in and while Unit 2 are younger and only think of themselves, the back unit has a lovely older woman and her younger son. They are my people.

My landlords are ‘wogs’ (keeping in mind, my father is Italian therefore I’m allowed to use that term) and they live close by. Not next door, but close enough I consider them neighbours. I would drop in treats and soup and such when my landlady was in hospital. I did so because that’s the kind of community I want to live in.

landlord-2

Anyway enough background.

Many things have fallen into disrepair, before I moved here due to lack of upkeep! My landlords don’t like spending money and recently came down with a plastic stool and a fork to fix my front lounge blind.

I had been asking them to attend to it for some time. My side lounge blind having been replaced about a year into my tenancy here.

broken-blinds-1

Sometimes I have to go through a very elaborate process to have anything fixed here.

You already heard in ‘The Horror’ about my new Hot Water Service.

With the blind, my landlord came one day and I suggested he open the blind and while with great pain to my one good hand, I could open and close it. (It’s a block-out blind) the one with the chain on the side he completely F.U.B.A.R.D. it!

It would never work again!

Yeah Helen gets a new blind.

Still not my point.

My issue is this; something needs doing, I call my Property Manager. He steels himself for the call to the landlords because they like to yell! (Not my problem)

grumpy-old-man

The landlords are always nice to my face.

‘No matter! You tell us and we fix!’ Those landlords. But they are elderly (over 70) and I don’t want them to hurt themselves trying to fix things so when their eldest son picks his kids up from Grandparents, Daycare/After kinda care, I often stop to say ‘Hello’ and mention something that needs fixing (he really should have learned by now not to park in front of my home!)

He always says to call the agent!

The landlords always say their kids are the owners yet they deal with the agents!

And the agent says things will come up when he does the next inspection.

I’ve been here 3+ years and by law should have an inspection every 6 months.

He has done 2! Of which nothing or ½ of nothing gets fixed!

The Property Manager told me years ago, when they have good tenants, they like to leave them alone. When my landlady came to see about fixing the blind, about a month ago, she told me “we got home from out Geelong Beach Holiday Home to a $1,000.00 Hot Water Service bill!”

And she told me “It broke her heart!”

It sounds much better with a good Italian accent – trust me!

I wish my rent was $1,000.00 per month!

The Fall

Published October 30, 2016 by helentastic67

the-fall-1

The Fall

Several years after developing my disability, I had a fall on the front veranda of my home. Unless, you’re a stunt man or woman there is never a ‘good’ fall. When you have a disability, there are only ‘bad’ falls. Falls in general, is one of those things that Doctors, will ask about to gauge your ability to be mobile and therefore independent. Those kinds of powers and abilities is in simple terms about getting to the toilet and moving around inside your home, not just about if you can leave your home and go to appointments and do things.

So, this particular fall I caught my left foot on a metal bar that protrudes from the fence at the front of the Terrace House I lived in at the time. The post was designed to stabilize the fence.

And this is when I fell, I managed to land hitting the left front of my head and my left shoulder. To say it was unexpected is an understatement. And that brick wall was hard. LUCKILY, there was no blood or piss for that matter however, I cannot tell you how much it hurt!

I actually whimpered. My mum was staying at the time and was 3 rooms away. By the time I got up using the fence for support mum was there. Of course, she scolded me with that usual ‘What the hell did you do?’

Yeah, but she was genuinely concerned. Of course, never mistake it!

As I had gotten up I had looked out across the street to see if anyone had witnessed my spill.

At the time, I lived opposite some low-level Public Housing.

A guy who lived on the ground floor who, saw me fall and I knew and waved ‘Hello’ to as he was always on his front balcony smoking and generally keeping an eye on the neighbourhood. He had gotten up with a concerned look on his face.

When he saw my mum, I gave him a wave to let him know I was OK.

Again, don’t ask me to define OK.

FYI, if you think that neighbourhood watch dog was a nice guy, think again! He broke his cats neck because (his neighbour told me) he thought the cat was listening to his conversations.

He did have Schizophrenia. But there is no excuse for killing an animal. And people wonder why I try so hard to stay out of Public Housing.

What remains of any good mental headspace would quickly vanish surrounded by that.

Anyway, back to the fall. Really don’t know what it did to my noggin. We queried my Doctor at the time if my brain had received any damage, however an MRI taken at the time were only aimed at the AVM site. (The opposite side of my head)

bandaged-head

My left shoulder on the other hand remains a problem to this day. In so many ways including a constant and repetitive disagreement with my Mother. Did I dislocate my left shoulder, or didn’t I?

Had I hit my right shoulder, it would have become dislocated! Without doubt!

Because my left arm doesn’t work, my shoulder has reduced muscle tone. When I hit, the brick wall my muscles in my shoulder just stretched like an old rubber band and the bones just moved.

After some time, I did go to an emergency room and get it x-rayed.

Officially, it’s dislocated but NOT!

drs-office

I did pay ‘out-of-pocket’ to see a private shoulder specialist. Partly to see how bad it really was and part to alleviate my mum’s stress. Yes, that’s what you do in these circumstances.

I distinctly remember meeting the specialist. Because he mostly saw sporting injuries and his opening question to me was ‘Now, what’s wrong with you?’

“How long have you got?” is how I responded. I of course gave him the brief rundown of my medical situation and disability.

He told me he could fuse my shoulder together which would guarantee it would never work again, but would put the arm bone (note – very simple terms) back into the shoulder socket but he told me it would lead to secondary issues across my upper back.

Still, many years later, I wear my arm in a collar and cuff when out of the house so I’m not carrying around dead weight and putting more stress on my shoulder.

slings

If I sleep on that side, my shoulder clicks when I sit up in the morning. Sexy right?

Not to mention the pins and needles I get in my good hand.

This is a new/old thing I’m currently looking into. One thing worse than being one-handed, would be having 2 arms and legs and not being able to use either arms or legs.

Not wanting to give ‘power-to-words’ Let’s move on!

Stop Helping

Published October 28, 2016 by helentastic67

stop-helping

Stop Helping

I’ve just writing this post in my head, so despite not finishing my admin for the week past and coming or starting to wind down and it’s midnight, I’m going to smash this thing out.

Did I mention I’m a night person?

Some of the worst advice I’ve not been given for how to manage my disability and maintain independence one-handed has not been given to me by an OT!

Remembering an OT is an Occupational Therapist!

Early days an OT asked how I managed to open things, particularly in the bathroom or kitchen.

I replied, I use my teeth!

how-not-to-open-a-bottle

I was smartly told not to do such unless I could afford to fix my teeth!

Um, FYI. No I cannot.

The end!

Yeah! No! There is no great wisdom on how you otherwise do that! While I’m still waiting so can you!

Done!

Fridays Are The Best

Published October 24, 2016 by helentastic67

cat-friday

Fridays Are the Best!

I confess to say I don’t work! I prefer to say I’m retired, however the image that conjures is wealth and comfort and holidays. That’s the complete opposite of my version of retirement.

But my confession is not about that it is that despite not being able to work right now, I really enjoy and look forward to Fridays! No, really!

Friday for me means everything that needed to be done, was done. And on Fridays I go shopping with my Carer, young Janus.

car-stereo

I park a CD or MP3 player and despite it being a short drive to the local shopping complex, we rock out to some tunes! On one occasion another Carer (51) took me shopping. I parked a CD however her son had given her a CD so we listened to Eminem instead. At one point we stopped at a busy crossroad for traffic and she was compelled to turn it down. It was funny, I was laughing so hard I was in tears. I commented to her about Eminem (every other word was the F*Bomb!) I mean why is Eminem having such a hard time in life?” (It’s rhetorical BTW)

Another time recently, one of my other regular Carers (55, whom I’d seen previous 3 days already) took me shopping. I mentioned a CD and she shot me down! I just gave it to her “You’re boring!”

I joked, she was going on the ‘Blocked list’ for shopping! So, that added bonus to Friday is listening to music when I’m out encourages me to come home and put on more music.

And to say music is my best motivator is a vast understatement.

Since returning from shopping, I’ve re-potted a plant/reorganised some cook books, painted the 1^st coat of a tray I bought over a year ago (shuddup! It’s been a process) and I’ve already got a head start on tonight’s ‘admin!’

The sure sign that my week is over is when I’m sitting on the couch with my daily coffee and my Friday treat! Which is a Custard Scroll.

-almond_and_custard_scroll coffee-1