Life One Handed

All posts in the Life One Handed category

TMI – Too Much Information

Published August 24, 2018 by helentastic67

TooMuchInformation

TMI

There are many times when discussing having a disability that in my last relationship, a relationship I started after my diagnosis and had no idea what life would bring, but before my actual treatment and disability, I had moments I had to suggest to him (he that is not part of my life anymore) where I may have disclosed a little too much to him and he couldn’t cope.

Oversharing

So, humorously I had suggested if I told him a little too much at times, we could have a ‘safe-word’, so he could quickly and politely let me know to stop talking.

Safe word

I’ll say, he never used, said safe word, but as it already mentioned “no longer part of my life”. So, humorously our safe word was “Sprinkles”.

Sprinkles

Whose Job Is It?

Published August 20, 2018 by helentastic67

Whose job is it

Whose Job Is It?

“How is it my fault, I’m smart enough to know they are doing a shitty job for me and if I’m smart enough to know, what about those who are not smart enough to know.”

Smart enough

I’m currently experiencing something where (because I don’t have a name for it) I’m being under valued by family and thrown under the bus as having a ‘brain injury,’ my intelligence is being dulled so, I seem to need more help than maybe I really do.

Undervalued

Then it opens the door to people thinking they can perform at a sub-par or standard level and half doing a job. Am I meant to apologise or monitor my frustration or bad behaviour, just because I may make them feel guilty or incompetent?

Feel guilty

I hate to say I told you so, but when I push so hard to get ahead of certain issues, there is a reason. When the fit hits the shan (you heard me) it’s then your mess, not mine to fix it and you must give it as much energy and time that it requires.

Fit hit the Shan

No excuses from having put it off for weeks as other ‘things’ seemed more important. Don’t all of a sudden complain to me when I need to rebel and spend money on things that are important to me, so I can feel better.

Spend Money

I seem to be the only person who is abundantly aware all of my family would see me homeless, then help me financially or offer me a place to stay despite how ridiculous or unrealistic that would be.

Homeless

I feel sick to my stomach that my family cannot put all of their own ‘stuff’ aside.

Put stuff aside

 

Because Life is Short

Published August 17, 2018 by helentastic67

Life is too short

Because Life is Short

Because life is short, we should sometimes write about the little things that amuse us, that might amuse others. Rather than doom and gloom all the time.

No doom or gloom

So, this week I have been introduced to a new term for when a woman has her period.

I like the IT Crowd reference to Aunt Irma. If you are not familiar with the show, you just got homework. Wonder if my male followers read to this point.

Aunt Irma

The term I’ve been introduced to this week is called “Shark Week” I mean, on this topic in general, men can be such bastards. Oh, they think we blame everything on our periods, but if they had crazy hormones once a month and had just one full on menstrual cycle, they would bite their tongue and be much more considerate.

Crazy Hormones

Where was I? The other name I’ve heard, this one Oprah uses, “You Know where Aunt Flo visits.” Oh Oprah, so love her… Then theirs “I’ve got the Decorators in.” What? That person also explained ‘You know the painters?’

Oprah painting

What term do you use?

Tell me

Milk

Published August 13, 2018 by helentastic67

Milk

MILK – for want of a better tittle.

Have you ever wondered about the cost of milk? Often there are lots of hidden issues with having a disability that the average person wouldn’t consider. Now, it’s going to annoy me to explain the intricacies on this very simple topic, but I’m by all means not crying over spilt milk.

Spilt milk

I shop with a carer every Friday, they collect me from home and drive us to my local shopping complex. It’s not a huge Westfield, so thankfully has the basics of what I need. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker. Supermarket, you know.

Shopping list

 

Whatever, foodwise I’m going to need I must get or I run out, paying more for it at a smaller independent supermarket, carrying it around for a period of time or risking it spoiling because it’s out of a fridge for too long, like milk.

Shopping list

About once monthly I buy an extra litre of milk, so I don’t run the risk of having to resort to using sweetened Condensed milk in my coffee. Year, nice but that’s diabetics right there.

Condensed Milk

The following Friday arrives and I check the fridge for my supply of milk. Sometimes I’ve still got an unopened bottle. The Use by date is the following day, now being unopened, it’s possibly going to last beyond the Use by date, but can I be sure.

Check fridge 1

Lately, I’ve been joking if I eat something I’ve had in the fridge a little too long and I ask if the worst that happens is I spend the night on the toilet and loose five kilos, that’s a lazy diet right.

Getting sick

So, I throw out the milk, which is wasteful and go shopping and get more. Maybe the guilt plays on my mind so I under stock milk and the next week, I ration a bit.

Ration milk

By Wednesday during my busy punchy/stabby/foodie , mental health post day, I need to debate picking up milk in my travels. I am near two independent supermarkets, one of which I walk past later in the day.

If I get one at either of the independent supermarkets, they cost more than a coffee. Outrageous. Aside from the risk of how long the milk should be out of the fridge.

More than coffee

Fun Fact: – Did you know, every degree milk loses (after coming out of the fridge) it loses a day of its shelf life.

Fun fact

The other issue is of course, how I need to carry the milk. I wear a bag that has a strap, which sits on my left shoulder and the bags sits on my right glute. My Gluteus Maximus.

Gluteous Maximus

Despite disc bulge surgery, my lower back is always at risk when carrying anything home, no matter the length of time I carry it.

My lower back twinges and when I get pain down the back of my good leg, it’s a sure sign any heavy lifting or excess carrying of heavy things is temporarily banned.

Lower back pain

So, while to the outside world I’m portrayed or seen as this confident, flexible and mobile semi-broken woman (my term), underneath the cost of a simple litre of milk is either my pocket or my back.

Strong Independent Woman

Both require medication and time out to not spend money. So, that was actually not as painful as I thought. Maybe I didn’t do it justice.

Doing Justice

 

Torture – Part 2

Published August 10, 2018 by helentastic67

Torture Pt2

Torture – Part 2

So now, to how doctors buy themselves time and the active torture that was to temporarily fix the problem. They promised me an Epidural.

Doctor buying time

Have you ever wondered why “women in labour” ask for the Epidural? I don’t know from personal experience, but I’m told it hurts. It hurts like pushing a big square wardrobe out of a small place in you body, wardrobes don’t belong…

Women in labour

And the Epidural doesn’t hurt because of the happy pregnant lady hormones.

Now, they promised me an Epidural as part of delivering me a nerve root injection or a Cortisone shot. (you will hear people call it)

Cortisone shot

At the time I was on two waiting lists, one with my hospital (because I thought they would get to me) and another hospital closer to home. (that is, I didn’t have them do my surgery, my own mother might have killed me. Because she had been told they had the best surgeon to see.)

Waiting list

Have I mentioned, I’m a public patient? Because I’m poor. Yeah. So it generally means, you go with whatever you can get, whenever you can have it and not before.

The term for it is triage, they prioritise the patience that are less mobile and more ‘at risk’. Just making a point – ALL YEAR, it took all year!

Still, I digress.

The Nuero root injection goes like this, in nothing but your knickers pushed down low on your hips and a gown that is open at the back, you lie down on your tummy on a CT scanning bed. There are two people in the room whom you will hate by the end of the procedure. (if you follow my advice and learn from my experience.)

Lying on CT Scanner

Firstly, they give you a local anaesthetic. Now I will remind you, it’s been a while since my last local, so you forget how much it stings.

Sweet Jesus! (Which is likely what I said)

Sweet Jesus

The doctors claim it’s because the needle is so fine. Really? Torture device.

Then they wait until it starts to kick-in and then I swear it’s like a pick-axe! They insert it in my lower back, telling me to breathe and relax.

Pick axe

When in pain, it’s good to keep breathing, but when lying on your tummy and working where they were, it’s impossible.

Keep Breathing

Then, they roll you into the CT machine and take a scan. The doctor comes back in and utters some words like “Looks like we’re heading in the right direction” and they ram the needle in further.

Heading in the right direction

I don’t think a “Sweet Jesus” was what came out the second time. They offered me more local, but does anyone need reminding, a local really does mean ‘local’.

Not sweet Jesus

Then another scan and more core breaking agony. Three times they took to get that needle all the way to where they wanted it. Then they injected me with the Cortisone, or whatever, that was meant to give me blessed relief from the pain.

Another CT Scan

I did feel something shoot down my right leg, but that was it.

I recall getting up after it an asking “What’s next?”

They told me that was it and I could go. OK

My sister had told me, if I was getting an epidural to ask at the end of the procedure “Where’s my baby?”

Wheres my baby

The Jewish doctor and his registrar just looked at me. The female nurse, over to one side gave me a little smile.

Tough crowd.

Anyway, I left the hospital with my mum and was still in pain, but now with a very sore back.

The second one I had at a different hospital, they made me stay lying down for an hour or so afterwards, in a small recovery room with nurses overlooking about six beds. They were very insistent I not get up and walk straight away in case my legs gave way and I fell over. Is that the sure sign it worked? Maybe not, not sure. But I really needed to pee.

Recovery

I was offered a bedpan, seriously, the push bedpans in hospital, like it’s more convenient for them to change the sheets than wheel me to a toilet and wheel me back to bed.

Bedpan

Grudgingly the nurse bought over a walker (you know, not just for old people, but predominantly) and I told her no. She kept insisting and I thought she was very slow for not realising you needed two hands to work one. I growled further to get it out of my way. I’m sure she thought I was the rudest cow in there that day. (I probably was)

Eventually, a wheelchair was produced and I was wheeled to the toilet. The chair pushed so close to the toilet and locked into place, I struggled to wriggle up and around it to wash my hand after I had gone.

Wheelchair

I pressed the duty call button and waited for some time for the nurse to return to me. My mum was patiently waiting my return. My mum was patiently waiting for my return, I briefly contemplated getting up and walking back using the hand rail on the hallway wall as an aide, but I waited.

Call button

I swear I waited twenty minutes, you get I only needed to pee.

The nurse finally retrieved me, stating she only realised I was not in my bed when she did a head-count and realised there was one bed empty. Oh, the call button doesn’t work? Nor did the nerve root injection.

Head Count

But, humoursly, the night light was comment from the nurse that had been in assisting my injection. She must have been new to that area.

An older more experienced nurse enquired as to during all the CT scans if she had protected herself from the radiation.

Radiation

She replied “OH yes! I hid behind the Doctors.”

Oh facepalm.

What about me? I’d suffered four or five, that day, I was informed the staff get fifty or more in a day.

I guess getting a needle rammed into your back with only a local, really doesn’t make for a happy Hellonwheels.

Sad Helen

Torture – Part 1

Published August 6, 2018 by helentastic67

Torture Part 1 a

Torture Part 1

There are some posts I put off writing, I’ve had this on simmer in the back of my mind for years and as usual, there are a million ways to address this one. It kinda follows one about the Neuro Angiogram, of which I’ve had two, of and I hated. And ironically, I’ve had two of these also and I hated both of these also.

Angiogram

Firstly, I should premise by saying 2011 was a rough year. Let me start by saying the issues started a few years earlier, but I didn’t piece everything together until sometime later.

2011 problem

By 2011, I had been living one handed for a few years, being fiercely independent and with the ability to keep doing some things one handed. With the encouragement of my physio and OT, I kept doing “things” one handed, ie) lifting a 10kg bag of kitty litter and taking it from the front door to the back door, so it took pressure off the boyfriend. (Yeah! I know, I had one.) Helen now don’t got one. I’ll get to that, it’s on the list.

Kitty Litter

Now, where was I?

On the 6th January that year, I lifted my small suitcase from the floor to my bed. It was full of my laptop, hard drives and other tech stuff and I didn’t want my mother to lift it, so I did it. In hindsight, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Suitcase

Weird things started to happen like, it hurt to sit, but not my “butt” I had shooting pain down my right leg. Reminder; my right leg is my good leg, really don’t need anything going wrong with my good leg. I couldn’t sit on the couch in the evenings and watch TV.

Pain in the butt

Trips to my GP, had new medication added to my diet. I think we started with muscle relaxants.

DID NOT HELP!

Can’t recall now, what medications followed that, but I started getting Ultrasounds to my legs and other things.

What felt like forever, later we found what worked. The Silver bullet came in the form of Oxy and what I refer to as ‘Oxy, Oxy and Oxy.’

Oxy Oxy Oxy

Slow release, short release and don’t bother me with that because it’s just not going to help.

Oh yeah, eventually the diagnosis was a disc bulge and another crappy side-effect. I felt I needed to pee. All the time and of course if you have ever been on any serious Opiates, you know you have the added trauma of Constipation. Super!

Constipation

So, as part of the process to get better, is medication. Some people can walk it off and it just gets better. Some people require surgery, but while brain surgeons (Nuero Surgeons) do brains and backs, they prioritise brain.

Brain surgery

Now my happy place that year was lying on my bed, my laptop now lived on my bed so, I just spent more time there. My happy place with Opiates, was 20mg of Oxy Contin during the day and 10mg at night. If I had to go out, I would take 5mg of Oxy norm, it works fairly quickly, but gives you only three hours of taking the edge off.

Lying in bed

I caught the taxi to my local appointments, because I struggled to even scooter to them.

My ‘shrink’ I saw over the phone, paying using online banking. I saw my GP while lying down on his bed, you know, that table thingy? So, saying all of this, it was a long year.

Shrink on phone

The ironic part was all the medical people I saw that year, couldn’t diagnose me, until an MRI told me what the cause to the pain was.

Dr Diagnosis

After diagnosis, a lovely Indian woman who dropped over, I told her I had a disc bulge and she asked “do you have pain down your leg?”

Seriously.

Seriously

Cheeky

Published August 3, 2018 by helentastic67

Cheeky

Cheeky

Now, I like to imagine by now, you are fully aware I am a bit cheeky. I can’t be my usually cheeky self around family, because they don’t get it. Weird right? But I’ve got a new carer who takes me shopping and she has worked out very quickly how ‘fresh’ she can be with me, which is good.

Family weird

We have been doing a little driving to locations, I can get to certain things without adding to the chaos and me having to carry things.

So, last Friday, after driving to a Health Food shop where I get some of my ‘good pills’ which I get in bulk, so they are cheaper. We drove to a neighbouring suburb to the Petshop. This pet shop has a cat that requires re-homing, there might be a kitten, bunnies, fish. Yeah! That kind of pet shop.

Pet shop

We pulled up in a car park on the street and when my carer was ready to disembark, she came out with a command.

“GET OUT”

Get out

To be fair, I wasn’t expecting it, but after a snort, I burst out laughing and so did she.

Burst out Laughing

To be fair, it is always good to have a laugh when out with my carers because people don’t just see me as someone with a disability. People see me out with my ‘girlfriends’ laughing. Sharing stories and wit and people then don’t notice my disability. However, some carers don’t realise if they think they can out do me with wit, they are mistaken.

Hanging out with friends

All I have to do is stand still and let out a screech.

“STOP IT”

And then

“YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

And people might come to my aid.

Hurt me

 

Death of my Catering Business

Published July 30, 2018 by helentastic67

Death of my Catering Business

The Death of my Catering Business

Possible death of my catering business, if ever there were horror felt with so few words. I’M OFF SUGAR!

Off sugar

What I have largely found is people love trying my goodies when they are free. Turning that appreciation into dollars?

Free food

I love to cook, I love to bake, I love to give things I cook and bake away because I make more than I can consume. Ideally, it would be good to be reimbursed for what I share. So, I can continue to cook.

Love to cook

Size-wise I cook like a Nona, for those who don’t know, that’s an Italian grandmother. Mine pasted away when I was young and I barely remember her but I do remember despite not speaking English she would greet us with warm hugs and then usher us inside to open the fridge and gesture to food or drink to offer to us.

Nona cooking

She always cooked for large numbers of people. So, maybe that’s the wog part in me?

I make a mean bread and butter pudding and I make a huge baking dish full and most of it I then it give away, recent feedback is that they are addicted. This is really positive feedback with the exception that when I handover the pudding I comment “That is diabetes right there!” And so many people these days are quitting sugar. Thus, the death of my catering business before it even gets off the ground.

Quitting sugar

 

Human Resources

Published July 27, 2018 by helentastic67

Human Resources 1

Human Resources

Is it wrong that I want to text the carer I was supposed to have today and ask her if she had a shower? Because, I haven’t!

Texting

Sadly, it’s wrong for one reason only, because I shouldn’t even have her number.

So, let’s imagine in a perfect world, I don’t have to manage my own HR (Human Resources) with who is coming and when. That I get a roster emailed once a week and well I stopped asking months ago.

Ideal World

I’ve stopped calling the “after hours” number to find out who I might be expecting for my 5.30pm FP (Food Preparation) shifts, because no one ever returns those calls.

Managing Carers

I guess, some carers I’ve managed to get their numbers out of friendship, which is nice. And this new batch I’ve gotten their numbers because their company has not been very organised.

Unorganised

Thankfully, I can do this, however I’m not getting paid.

Unpaid work

Bogan

Published July 23, 2018 by helentastic67

Bogan

Bogan

As promised some time ago on a Hot off the Press, from early June 2017, I mentioned the Bogan reference to an adventure to Moe, a town a few hours from Melbourne.

Adventures in Moe

The Bogan is a common term in Australia for a person who has not enough education and doesn’t see the point in getting any, they have no class or style.

Bogan Education

And I know I sound like a snob as I write this however, everyone has a little Bogan in them. Comedians make fun of them and when making a point with friends about how people have assumptions about me being a Bogan, I can deny it in a classy Bogan fashion.

Snob

“Come here and say that”

There are some suburbs where Bogan seems to be more obvious. Some areas, drugs make the Bogan more “enhanced” so that’s not a bonus.

Bogan 1Grammer

The speech is often less (again I hear my inner snob) intellectual. Fine! Careless. They are careless with using words. They are likely to be out and will see a friend and call out to them regardless of their environment, using swear words or inappropriate pet names to be called out in public or across the street.

Grammer