Mother

Published June 7, 2017 by helentastic67

Mother

How’s your mother? I always get asked by my carers… My mum who was here for less than 24 hours, last week to smash some appointments and things.

My mum is really the only family member to support me and she also manages to be my biggest critic.

So, it’s often somewhat tongue in cheek I reply with a smart mouth “she was alive when she left and so was I”.

Smart mouth

My mum and I have come a long way in the last ten years, in the early days of my disability, she was mid 50’s and she would come down often once a week just to take me across town to my physio and OT appointments.

Mum lives about 3 hours away in the country in a lovely isolated valley where there is NO MOBILE RECEPTION and when I go home for Christmas, mum and my younger sister cannot remember their internet password. So, for me THERE IS ALSO NO INTERNET!

No internet

Admittedly their internet is so little and so slow, it’s better to just let emails pile up. I’m less inclined to lose my mental ‘shit’ and want to kill people.

My internet is fast and reliable at home. My mum reminds me every time she visits when she claims “I just detected 400 emails”.

Fast internet

Yeah! She only visits for my fast internet, I don’t mess around with internet or computers when they don’t work, I have visual images of Jackson Pollack paintings. Anyway, I digress as per usual.

It is rather typical of family members when they are carers for people with brain injuries and disabilities to verbally spar with each other.

Most people with brain injuries I’m sure it’s like torture and torment because they lack the verbal skills or mental capacity to give as good as they get.

My mum probably doesn’t realise she should count herself blessed, I have a smart mouth and deliver her a sharp retort at times, despite it offending her. Because the early years I used to bite my tongue until I realised Passive/Aggressive didn’t help me.

Smart mouth 1

Nothing was going to change if I couldn’t let it be known. Clearly, we have had many opportunities for a difference of opinion, on this whole topic.

But what can you do?

Mum 1

When does it end?

Published June 2, 2017 by helentastic67

When does it end 1

When Does It End?

The week is over, it’s done, yet why am I not in bed asleep?

staying-up

I just finished edits to upcoming posts and quit doing emails and it’s 1am. Making me think this post should be called 1am.

Grumpy cat

My mind is still buzzing and I’m in need to ‘single-task’ so I can wind down.

Single task

It will be done.

Saturday, bring it on…

Saturday

Carer v Family – Part 2

Published May 31, 2017 by helentastic67

Carer

Carer v Family Part 2

I often find my carers are more…. How do I say this without offending family? Well, I don’t think I can, so I’ll just tear off the bandaid shall I?

My carer left today after shopping, calling out “Love You”, to which I replied; “Love You Too”.

Love you

The only male carer I have does my Homecare (cleaning) and my shopping, two things that don’t require him to see me naked and he is a beautiful young gay “thing” who engages with me all the way around the shopping complex and we converse about anything and everything.

He has been mistaken as my son and I think some people mistake us for a flirty couple. They are rude and disrespectful, then there’s the stalker type who notice him and stalk him. I don’t see or realise until he tells me later, but they love to come up to him and offer him their phone numbers.

Stalker

Seriously! Yuck! If I knew, I would give them some ‘what for’ and if that didn’t work, I would call the police on ‘000’!

If it were back in my club days, I would sort this shit out so easily.

But, anyway, my sweet young carer is going on holidays for a month now so I’ll truly miss him.

This is on the back of my mother being here for literally 24 hours to smash out some things. She left so late last night, she cranked me when she arrived home and it was after 1am.

I rang her tonight to say “thank you” and “I love you” and when she barely responded I told her I would imagine she had said it back to me.

Love you 2

She laughed!

It makes me so sad!

It makes me sadder still that soon, I’m going to lose all my friends. Friends that seem to care for me more than my own family.

Love you 3

Postcards

Published May 26, 2017 by helentastic67

Postcard

Postcards

Everyone relax! I think I’ve discovered the method of solving the Greek economic problem. No really, hear me out, I’ve only traveled overseas once and that was 100 years ago, in 1994. I loved it. Admittedly I didn’t pay for the flights and it was a bit of a Cinderella story.

Cinderella

And yes, it ended in tears and heartbreak, mine. But still, I sent many, many postcards in the three months I was away and because I don’t get to travel or holiday, I confess I love a Postcard!

My request for a postcard from friends and family who have the luxury or the cash to travel usually falls on deaf ears and when I get one I’m so chuffed…

Postcard 1

A friend recently had a six-week adventure in Europe and I asked for a postcard, I even pushed for a postcard from every capital city she visited.

I know, I offered her a cheeky smile and a snort. She did post me a postcard from Greece and she told me how hard it was to find a post box.

Postcard 2

She’s been back a month now and still no postcard.

Last week I went to my appointment with her and reported still no postcard and then I announced “Oh my God! I’ve just solved the Greek Financial Crisis”

Greek tragedy

They should create jobs in the postal industry.

Reboot postcards and bring them back to former glory.

Your welcome!

Where’s my damn Postcards???

Postcard 3

T-birds and Purple Trees

Published May 19, 2017 by helentastic67

Thunderbirds

T-Birds and Purple Trees

T-Birds and Purple trees! My Case Manager told me to quote that when I have my NDIS assessment tomorrow. He suggests it emphasises my (how best to say it?) “Numpty-ness?”

Purple tree

He rang me a week ago and asked what I was up to and I was quite literal as I was reading a post from one of the bloggers I follow. The post was about T-Birds (Thunderbirds the car) and a beautiful purple tree that was about to be cut up. One of my followers will recognise this from her blog.

My point being, sometimes I’ve got to get my “Crazy” on! Because I manage to appear so competent, I almost self-sabotage and I don’t mean to.

Crazy lady

I am competent in many, many ways, but it doesn’t change the fact that physically I struggle and the things I manage to do all comes at a cost.

I mean, try peeling a carrot one-handed. That should be today’s challenge.

I promise you it’s do-able. It’s just such a complete “brain fuck” if you manage it you will need a good stiff drink afterwards and I need a lie down.

Brain fuck

Fingers crossed I don’t have to get the “Crazy” out too much tomorrow. That also requires a lie down because I really hate having to dumb myself down.

I am my best advocate, but if I do it a little too well, I shoot myself in the foot.

Ridiculous!

Ridiculous

Filing Cabinet

Published May 17, 2017 by helentastic67

Filing Cabinet

The lovely man came to mow the lawns today. Yes! I know, I’ve got actual lawn. He’s been here before and he replaced the front lounge blinds, but I’d struggled to remember his name.

I stuck my head, OK all of me clad still in my PJ’s and bed socks to offer him a coffee.

I thought I’d remembered his name. So, I said;

‘Is it Erin or Arron?

To which he replied “Jack”

I was never going to win, was I?

“Damn it”

He smiled. So, all is forgiven.

But funnily enough I remember he came out to Australia from Holland and now I’ll remind myself he’s a Jack of all trades and I’ll remember his name in the future.

Jack of all trades 1

So, I’m using name association to recall his name and it just goes to show the brain is like a filing cabinet. It’s all in there, you just need methods of filing them away.

I think that’s why I managed so well in the Case Management role I worked in. There were plenty of systems and everything has a place an uncluttered space, means an uncluttered mind.

Uncluttered

Look around you right now.

What do you see?

If you see clutter?

Organise,

Organise

Organise!

Organise

Life

Published May 12, 2017 by helentastic67

Life

If you’re not living; You’re just waiting to die. I’m often forced to re-evaluate what life is all about.

My dreams

I used to think life would be about having my own family, my ideal picture more recently being a husband and cat and dog. A mortgage (likely) a career, a business of some sort and enough freedom to afford a holiday to foreign shores every now and again.

crazy disability

Since my diagnosis and then my disability, some of these things have faded from being possibilities or a reality?

In many ways, I do feel like I’m just passing time and I’m not sure what life is meant to be about, in the big scheme of things. I’m still trying to make a difference every day with the little things I do and the everyday interactions, but right now I’m wondering what I should be doing differently so I’m not found months or years after I pass away, unnoticed by the world in my armchair as an old lady surrounded by 20 hungry cats…

Cat lady

Who You Gonna Call?

Published May 10, 2017 by helentastic67

ghostbusters_who_you_gonna_call

Who Can You Call

No, it’s not Ghostbusters, if you’re feeling down, who could you really call if you need talking off a ledge? If you were to really think about it, I have both parents still. Not complaining, they are still around and I have two sisters, an older, who lives an hour away and a younger sister who lives with our mum again, 3 ½ hours away.

My older sister, I won’t even send a Facebook request because it would hang in limbo.

My mum and younger sister, I can’t call when Masterchef is on, or Survivor, or even Bachelor. I can’t call before midday and I can’t call certain days of the week after 7pm. They work odd hours and sleep worse hours than me and there seems to be an all-round they don’t want to hear from me, so I don’t bother.

Masterchef

Had a call with mum today with my Case Manager here and the call went surprisingly well. I was eating my breakfast at the time so had to be very patient. We were collectively discussing my application for the NDIS. Occasionally when my mum got distracted by the “problems” and couldn’t get to a solution, I found my words.

Phone conversation

I finished the call with my usual sign-off “Love you and leave you” and my mum gave me the phone equivalent of a “whatever”.

Hanging up I shared a moment with my Case Manager that he understood my pain and yet, if I need “talking off a ledge” my mum would want to hear from me.

My advice to anyone, if you’re feeling down, if you’re having a hard time call someone.

Feeling down

Don’t do anything stupid, just call someone. Start a conversation and if you’re that person someone calls and you don’t know what to say? Just say something.

Sometimes, it’s OK if you don’t know what to say, just talk, give them company.

Having said all of that, there is a rare evening the phone rings after midnight and I laugh when I answer. She asks “is it too late?”

I laugh again.

It’s often a very prompt, matter of fact call. Which is fine.

By that time, I’m trying to wind down and arguments don’t help.

Midnight call

Census

Published May 5, 2017 by helentastic67

Census 1

Census

Going back in time to the Australian Census…

Well tonight, sorry last night was Census night! I’m going to presume you know what that is?

I made a joke to Noelle tonight that I turned away a booty call to make filling in my Census form easier. But as I said that was a joke.

Booty call

Ten years ago, when I had the best housemate ever, previously mentioned as ‘B’ (Fred’s been overworked).

At the time, I worked in Admin and B was a roadie. We both sat on the couch on Census night and handed the form back and forth taking our responsibility, seriously. It hard to justify and explain what you do for a living when you make people do work for the dole.

Job description

Answer phones, encourage client to attend, set up sponsors, host and negotiate with other Government agencies. Basically, make unemployed people do things they don’t want to.

How to describe what a roadie does? We learnt to simplify.

Lift heavy things!

Lift heavy things

12.53am

Published May 3, 2017 by helentastic67

12.53am

So, my day is still going! I’ve been writing for a few hours, inspired to write about the day and while on a tangent getting through the backlog that has been plaguing me.

creative-writing-final-meme