Cure

Published July 22, 2016 by helentastic67

Face mask 5

Cure!

So, let’s get to the ‘thing’!

And I’ll premise it by saying, sometimes its good time has passed because I cannot get caught up in the details. Maybe.

And I can streamline the “thing!”

After a period of seeing a few different Neurosurgeons and a period of time thinking I would have to find money to go to Europe to seek treatment because my AVM was deemed surgically inoperable. I was referred to a hospital across town and it seemed the only treatment I could have to ‘fix’ the problem had come to Melbourne and was covered by the Public Medical System! Yeah!

My AVM, still inoperable could be treated with radiation. Asked what to expect?

In simple terms, I was told I might lose some muscle tone, which I was amused by because it told me they assumed I had muscle tone. I thought I had better get to the gym and get some…

They told me my hair would “thin”.

To be clear my definition of thinning and theirs are completely different.

And they asked if I liked reading? Because I might lose some eyesight.

On the upside, I would potentially obliterate the risk of 2% a year I might suffer a stroke, bleed or worse. I’m not a gambler however if it would ‘fix’ the AVM and I would be able to  illuminate the risk of a bleed, stroke, possible death, then my mum and sister were on-board to have the radiation.

The Rash

Published July 18, 2016 by helentastic67

Rash 2

The Rash!

Trying to get to write about the thing and the thing and the thing, but I’ve been talking to a friend today about depression. So the thing can wait.

I suffer depression and anxiety. For me the depression has come and gone throughout life depending on the ‘shit’ at the time I’ve been dealing with. I imagine from 9 years of age and un-diagnosed at the time. And back then, shit just happened and you just got on with life. Keeping in mind that was circa 1980-ish (because I’m old!).

These days, my depression and anxiety has been the icing on the top of the cake on top of several other medical conditions.

But I manage to paste on a smile when I leave the house and I can problem solve like the best of them and laugh and joke with my friends (Carers).

It doesn’t mean I’m not depressed; it just means I cope better.

So, the analogy I used for my friend today who was sad that his depression had returned that depression comes and goes. It’s like that bad ex-boyfriend or that rash, it comes and goes…

There is away depression has the power to suck the life out of you. It creeps up on you and can appear without you even being aware it’s your new best friend.

I prefer not to write when I’m really depressed. Because it’s disastrous and you can’t see the forest from the trees and even common sense decision making is beyond me.

I prefer to put on some loud obnoxious music and not just to annoy my neighbours.

Music for me seems to charge the energy in my home. Then I start to get motivated to do things, cooking, organise, whatever.

So, that moves more energy and then I can see progress and then it’s an improvement.

Depression can affect people who have chronic medical conditions.

It can affect people who seemingly have everything positive to live for.

Sometimes, it’s that one shitty thing, moment, thought that can put people over the edge.

What Next?

Published July 11, 2016 by helentastic67

Attitude with lbp

What Next?

So, after diagnosis, you generally go through a stage of research and asking plenty of questions and travel to see different people and in my case getting a new job!

I recall reading a blog post of a guy in Sydney.

Because the arm is a potential for a stroke, aneurysm or plenty of other things one post comes to mind. This guy in Sydney wondered if he should be wearing a bike helmet around the house to protect his head or bear-down when going to the toilet.

You can appreciate how this stayed in my mind.

I think the first serious thing I did do was I stopped taking blood thinners (because after 20 years somehow it would make a difference?) So, no Naprogesic, those ‘Special blue pills’ that stop us killing men every month!

Was not happy!

To be clear, I DID NOT COME UP WITH THAT TERM, BUT I WISH I DID!

I recall one day at work surrounded by women and this one, an older woman asked me if I was okay.

They were aware I had my period at the time and had mentioned I was going to work quietly at my desk without moving around too much.

Ironically, I remember my response to her very clearly.

I indicated my belly button with my hand and stated I was fine from there down but my head was swimming!

So, no more blood thinners!

Don’t Get Too Excited

Published July 4, 2016 by helentastic67

HC_High_Rise v Townhouse

High Rise Versus Townhouse

Don’t Get Too Excited

I was offered some public housing this week! Yeah! Yes, but don’t get too excited. I’ve been offered some previously. Even more than once! I love the excitement and enthusiasm they have when they call.

And usually when they’re telling me all about the fully modified bathroom and blah, blah, blah! And I usually cut them off to ask “Where is it?”

On that occasion I was met with surprise. I was told it was in Broadmeadows. Now, I know 3 people these days who live in Broadmeadows and only one of them I would call a friend and I rarely see her even.

I know the name Broadmeadows sounds lovely and picturesque to those on foreign shores, however if you knew me in person you would agree with me when I say;

I wouldn’t last 5 minutes in Broadmeadows. I would die! Or be killed or kill someone!

Anyway, I digress but before I move on I’ll say, it would be useful if I live somewhere out of my comfort zone, I didn’t to change every single link to my community support network just to start again. I’m not changing my GP ever! Or my Chiropractor or my Beautician. I don’t drive, so spending all the money I save on rent catching taxis! It’s counterproductive.

But even being offered a place in that area told me this organisation wasn’t doing their job properly. He had not read anything bar my name on a list. I have never put down on any form that I would be even open to the idea of living in that area. (They are meant to keep you close to your services so you don’t have to start again. Don’t be bullied by them)

So finally this week I was offered some housing in a different area, by a different organisation for the last 3 or so years at this point with Case Management and short holidays etc. And I’m on the list for housing.

And the person now managing this area was briefly my Case Manager.

When I get offered something, it’s good to at least go and see it. It’s good to not go alone.

I put it out to a friend who actually spends time with me and around my home. She would have a practical eye of what’s important to me when choosing where I would like to live.

What would need to come with me (fur-baby!) and what I need to keep me because it make me comfortable (my bed!) and what settles my mind and makes my heart sing.

And she understands it would be counterproductive to move into a tiny box and put all my belongings into storage if that makes me want to kill myself or others.

Then I asked my sister to come. She thinks I should take the first thing that’s offered to me because she thinks that would solve all my problems in this world!

Now let me say, that ship has sailed! That ship is in Fiji already (thanks Gilmore Girls for that line!)

My sister drilled me with plenty of questions.

Can I take my cat? Probably not!

And all the others I let wash over me.

I was seeing my Case Manager in a few days so had planned to ask him.

Turns out, the apartment on the 7th floor across from Victoria Markets (no thanks!) is practically just a bedsit! The kitchen a kitchenette!

What do you cook in there? Toast?

So, there’s much micro-managing me from a distance with little thought to my good mental health and then there’s people not reading my file to notice I’m approved for a 2 BEDROOM apartment etc.

And lastly, it’s my opinion that Public Housing in this country is all bulk built for Boat people. Tiny, tiny one bedroom apartments and bedsits! And I don’t have an issue with Boat people so for completely humanitarian reasons:

Let them in!

But this blog is not about them, so for every one of those apartments they build, why aren’t they building for the people who are already here???

Oh! I’ve had enough!

To Be Continued…

Santa

Published July 1, 2016 by helentastic67

Kris Kringle

Santa!

I’ve been asking people this month what they get from Santa?

I’ve only really got another week of this to go I think, anything past January might be pushing my luck, but generally the reaction I get is an odd look that tells me I’m being nosy and they don’t know why I’m asking. So I explain…

If you tell me what Santa gave you, I can judge if it’s a good present or a rubbish present. Yes, I’m a good judge of this! And of course, if you got a crap present then that tells me Santa thought you weren’t good last year!

Present is always a drama in our family. A few years ago we gave into my older sister’s insistence to do a Kris Kringle, so we only need to get one gift.

I love buying gifts, however cash strapped Santa is a bit of a mood-kill!

Christmas for me becomes the time I can ‘ask’ for the things I didn’t get for my birthday. And in recent years it’s been a way family could get things for me that I needed. Underwear! Yes! I know! It happened! The worst gifts at Christmas are jocks, socks and handkerchiefs! Unless you get Thunderpants!

They just make me so very happy!

Thunderpants

Check them out at http://www.thunderpants.co.nz

This year I also bought myself the two books I always hope for that are purposely released in time for the gift giving season.

Whatever Jamie Oliver’s latest cook book is and whatever new Patricia Cornwall book is also in stores.

I don’t read the novels anymore. With my eyesight it hurts to read but because of how organised I am, it hurts my pocket some to bury them but would hurt my brain more to thinking my bookcase is incomplete.

Bookcase 1

 

 

*Note – the books that are note spire facing out are the ones I’ve not read. So it’s how I can tell I’ve not read them.

P.S. Keep in mind I don’t wrap presents anymore it’s rather disappointing results when you have to gift wrap one-handed! But, I sent gifts home a few weeks earlier and they never got wrapped! Then, I had to remind them “Where were they?”

What did I do last year that was so bad?

 

Pop Quiz

Published June 17, 2016 by helentastic67

A-Life-Pop-Quiz-480

Pop Quiz!

Because life is short!

So, today I have a quandary…..

My carer arrived and managed to get it halfway up.

Now, it’s towards the end of the day and I’m wondering if I should put it down.

They have replaced one already while I’ve been here.

They have had to replace many things because the unit is old and everything is past due to be replaced.

I rang the Property Manager who I imagine left a message with the Landlords. They live close by and probably saw the problem was solved.

I imagine I’ll be calling again next week!

What am I?

That’s right I’m a blind!

I know, I can be a bit naughty!

Noelle asked what was wrong with it and told her it was just old…

Caring and Sharing

Published June 3, 2016 by helentastic67

Caring and sharing

Caring and sharing…

So, part of needing carers a huge problem is rostering.

Over the years I’ve dealt with many, many people who have done the rostering and my expectations have moved a great deal to cater to the irregularity and unexpectedness of when and who will turn up!

I need a lot of sleep and like most of us, I don’t get nearly enough, I often do my ‘best work’ late at night and struggle to wake up and engage my brain!

Don’t worry, I can answer the phone if it wakes me and snap right into ‘work’ mode! But I really do try to sleep up to my carer arrives and rings the doorbell.

Or at times the office rings me to tell me my carer is at the front door.

Today, I had requested a carer for 9 am, because I didn’t have an appointment out until 12.30 pm and it was local and I could scooter there.

Lots of the carers are away at the moment so I was looking forward to seeing someone I haven’t seen in maybe 6 months. I was told she would arrive at 8.45 am. I know, it sounds positively pedantic but if you don’t sleep until 2 am, every minute counts!

I wish this could be a more interactive experience right now so I could say;

“Who wants to guess what time she came?’ And more importantly “Who wants to guess what time her roster said?”

That’s right! 8.20 am!!!! WTF!

So, it’s any wonder after an eventful day I couldn’t make it past 8.30 pm without a ‘kip’ on the couch. Had an hour which helped me power through the rest of the night of dinner, emails and chores. And despite this my left eye hurts.

Pills, I think and off to bed!