What is the Game?

Published April 1, 2016 by helentastic67

What is the Game

What is the game?

My favourite housemate ever and I used to have a game we used to love to play. Firstly, when I say ‘game’ don’t the wrong idea. And when I say ‘we’ loved to play, I mean I loved it and he dreaded it!

To give you some background this housemate, let’s call him “B”, and was very relaxed. He was a roadie and I considered him a pothead. He didn’t, but he smoked a spliff or 2 every night, but what do I know? I don’t smoke.

Ok, that’s the background out of the way.

Here’s how the game works. I would start at one end of the mantel piece in the lounge and touch a finger to the first ‘thing’ asking “What’s this and does it need to be here?”

“B” would pick up “this” item and we continued. Halfway along the mantle piece he would get ahead of me and remove all the things he knew didn’t belong there.

By the end of the game all that was left were the clean plates that sat in the middle and the Kuan Yin head.

My home is not always spotless, but I try to have a ‘home’ for everything. A tidy house is a tidy mind. I generally limit the amount of time I spend in environments that make me want to blow my brains out.

I can’t help trying to problem-solve and neaten things, because it gives me a migraine very easily.

More about my favourite housemate ever “B” another time.

Decisions

Published March 23, 2016 by helentastic67

decisions_mid[1]

Decision

To make a decision, I was given the mantra in my teenage years that if you couldn’t make a decision for yourself, the decision would be made for you and you may not always like the results.

The funny thing about being depressed is you might struggle to make even the most simplest of decisions.

Some people just on observation, get stuck in their own ‘shit’ so much they can’t make a decision to save themselves.

Start with small decisions, things you have to attend to everyday. Then build up to the bigger, harder stuff. If you have serious chronic Medical conditions, make a damn decision. If there are options to try to improve those conditions that will give you the possibility to return life to some form of normalcy try them!

Wait: TRY THEM!!!

You don’t know, if you don’t try them.

Sometimes, making a decision can snowball and if you can fix the things that have held you back some of the other problems are easier to deal with.

Depression can lesson and life can be easier and happier.

Christmas!!!

Published March 14, 2016 by helentastic67

Christmas lights 1

Christmas!!!

So our Christmas lights have several settings. My sister the lighting tech support recently described one of the settings as the Epileptic Fit Setting.

I’m really lucky I’ve NEVER had an Epileptic fit!

At least not a Clonic Tonic (Grand Mal) seizure.

I have things that give me a migraine, but no epilepsy. Not complaining……just saying.

I once had an appointment with a room full of Neuro type specialists and they couldn’t believe I’d never had a fit considering the size and location of my AVM.

I told the Doctors I had been to my share of dubs and dance parties back in the day and stared at enough strobe lights.

Consider this as a silver lining.

I’ve never had an epileptic fit!

Old People

Published March 4, 2016 by helentastic67

Old lady

There are many things to love about old people! I know a few amazing older ladies. But I’ll tell you about them another time. But I love when older people ask me about my arm.

Usually, pre-empted with “What have you done to yourself?” to which I reply with – “I refuse to take responsibility for this!…….”

And I offer a brief explanation.

Then I ask them the same question. Today I asked this of a gentleman at a Medical Clinic I was at, who had a walking stick. His wife answered for him.

“He’s just gotten old.”

Priceless. Love that answer because then I can tell them I expected it to take years longer before I felt as old as I feel……

Jamima

Published February 29, 2016 by helentastic67

Jamima

Meet Jamima ‘Patch the Pirate Cat’ Puddleduck!
So called for my patchy left eye & my pen chance for sitting on shoulders(until Uncle B comes along, his shoulder h helps me get higher)
I’m the mental Healthcare Provider for a Crazy Cat-Lady. Housemates, boyfriends & even Uncle B have come & gone but my Mum keeps up with the Tuesday Tummy Rub’s!

Stay Tuned……….

Things to Miss: Fred!

Published February 19, 2016 by helentastic67

Things to miss 3

There are many things I miss from the era before I developed my disability and I’m not referring to the stuff you would miss because you can no longer do them, because sooner or later you can’t go clubbing all night and not feel like crap the next day even if you don’t drink. That shit happens because you have gotten older and I miss feeling like a valued member of society. I miss intellectual conversations with people.

Once upon a time, I worked for an N.G.O. as I will have mentioned and a supervisor came to me with a problem. I gave him the answer, he didn’t want. That was “NO!” Then he had a follow up question to circumvent the first answer. To which he got a further answer of “Yes, but NO!” then for safe keeping I answered his next 4 questions; something like this “Yes, no, no, no, yes, no!” I know I could tell you the scenario to help you better understand and while it was 10 years ago, I no-longer recall the clients name but let’s call him Fred!(was definitely not Fred) but recall the situation perfectly, it’s not going to help you to bore you with all the details.

His response to my answers was “What was that for?” And I told him they were the answers to his next 4 questions because I knew exactly where he was going with his line of questioning. The moral of the story was Fred had been lax in starting his obligation. He could not come back as a new referral for the outstanding hours he had missed before his contract ended. He could come back for a whole new obligation before he would be eligible for the allocated funding to go toward studies & further training. Hope you can tell from this that I knew my stuff, despite the terminology I’ve just used. (Obligation/contract,etc)

I do miss those days. I miss having people respect my knowledge and think to ask me for my wisdom.

FYI: My mum hates it when I do this even though I think it slightly amuses her…That is to predict her questions and answer them before she has had a chance to ask.

Original Helen/New Helen

Published January 18, 2016 by helentastic67

old & new Helen

Original Helen/New Helen

Once upon a time, Helen worked in clubs! Actually it was all of my 20’s! And when I say ‘worked’ I mean I kept myself busy for drink cards, CD’s and pocket money.

I guess my 20’s was an era I had started discovering great music, friendly people and a way to go out and have fun and I had an excuse to break through the shyness.

Hear me when I say I was the most clean living person there! With the possible exception of eating meat and wearing leather! I barely drank, didn’t smoke and didn’t do drugs!

And really, your 20’s. I was still working out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I still am…

But I do like to be busy…

So, once upon a time, one of my promoters came up to me telling me his very pretty female friends were being ‘hit!’ By some seriously drunk guy!

I poised on the “suggestion” to security to remove this offensive human being. The security guy looked at me like what was he supposed to do about it?

Frustrated I let the situation ride for a little.

My promoter again reported the offensive behaviour was continuing…

Lesson #1 Here is; “sometimes the best fuck off line in a club is “FUCK OFF!” I’m just saying…

Lesson #2 I took care of my people and sometimes I did so rather, creatively because I looked after my people for the enjoyment of all our regulars and I suspect the people I worked for might have been a little grumpy about what I did, I imagine they were happy they got their cover charge and he was so drunk and he probably shouldn’t have been let in or served further alcohol…

So, here’s what I did;

I went up to this guy and said ‘hello’ I’m pretty sure I introduced myself and definitely certain he would not remember it because he was smashed… He spoke to me and I could barely understand a word he said. I took his hand and asked if he was there with friends or had a bag or jacket with him? He kept mumbling the same thing.

Finally worked out what he said “Hi! My name’s Simon! I just want to be with you!”

I took him by the hand and led him down the stairs.

Occasionally he tugged at my hand and I looked back to work out what was keeping him…

There were 4 flights of stairs. He kept stopping to chug back a beer…

WTF Simon! What good would he have been to me anyway?

Once down on the ground floor I walked him to the door. At the top of the last 3 steps the new security guy stood looking up at me….

I told Simon to go down the steps and wait.

What? He was too drunk to know I wasn’t going to follow…. And didn’t…

The security took his drink off him as is the law. The club exited onto an alley way off a laneway…

I told the security guy not to let him back in. Simon apparently returned several times with discarded bank ATM receipts and all kinds of rubbish try to get back in…

The following Friday night I worked reception for a different crowd and the same security guy was on.

He gave me the best compliment I have ever received!

He told me “That’s what clubs need. Some hot chick who just takes guys by the hand and walk them out.”

I was so underpaid at that job!

And despite it being a great story when you go for a ‘real job’ interview this is not the kind of story they want to hear, when giving an example of when you ‘took initiative’ at work. To which I never did.

Stay tuned for more stories about Original Helen!

Like

Published January 7, 2016 by helentastic67

Like!

There is a word I would like, DAMN IT! Prefer to omit from my everyday language. No it’s not the Bomb!

That word is way too valuable!

I have a carer tomorrow who I get along very well with. I call her Aunty Christine! It comes in handy when I have to give Jamima (my cat) the talk!

You know the ‘talk’……..

“C’mon there are starving kids in Africa that won’t eat today! Eat your dinner Aunty Christine gave it to you!”

But anyway, she will arrive tomorrow and she has an appropriate level of common sense where she will see the plastic “thing” on the kitchen bench and ask me what I want her to do with it…

She will not ask me if I want her to recycle it because next to it are the suction “thing” that attach it to the wall of my shower and a tube of Superglue…

I will happily respond to her question with a grumpy “Can you fix that fucking thing?”

And after we laugh about it, she will fix the fucking thing.

The fucking thing in question is a plastic holder that sticks to the shower wall and holds 2 hand pump bottles. One for shampoo and one for conditioner…

No OT (Occupational Therapist) told me that one! And see if you can use the F Bomb in context it’s acceptable. Unlike (grrr) the word ‘like!’

I hate that word because I’m not 14 and I have other words in my vocabulary!

What words do you not….. favour?

Life One Handed

Published December 29, 2015 by helentastic67

Invisible disability 3

For those that don’t know!

Sometimes, I’m going to issue a challenge to those who don’t have a physical disability.

Go to the supermarket and buy a BBQ Chicken. Take a home and one handed, take the meat off the carcass…

Yes, you can wait until it cools down. That is not the hard part!

Now wash your hand!

Without using your other hand.

Having a disability means to keep living and enjoying life, you have to learn to be adaptive…

One day my carer arrived on a Monday, I asked hr to do this task for me.

She responded with a cheerful – “Oh my funnest job ever!”

And we laughed…

Sometimes and this is how you learn, I eat certain foods with a food handling glove on. It makes for easier clean-up!

The BBQ Chicken, same scenario…

Hidden Disability

Published December 21, 2015 by helentastic67

Invisible disability 2

Hidden Disability

Seems to be the new ‘go to’ word/term for disability.

I had a technician come to my home last week to fix “something” and I was trying to explain to him I wasn’t a lazy cow for not being able to do my own tech support or not moving the 5 small things so he could more conveniently get to the issue he was there to attend to.

He seemed confused so I bluntly told him “you can’t tell, but I have a disability.” I basically gave him the cliff notes (short version) and told him what I’d lost. But around my home there are not many obvious signs that a person with a disability lives there and I compensate so well if you were to watch me you also wouldn’t realize how much I’ve lost…

But, so help me God! (In a non-religious way) every time I am out and about or in a taxi I will be asked: ‘What have you done to your arm?’

And it’s this big thing I have to explain. There’s advice. Advice from taxi drivers! Garlic and lemon pulp. Cure all!

Except, I’d be single forever even keeping the vampires away. Bah Humbug!

And you realize my disability is not hidden when people like to assume and judge me and imagine I did something to deserve this new existence.

I will revisit this topic because these days people see me out and about and they say to me “You look well put together!” And ignoring how old-lady that term is for now. When I’m out and about and have a smile on my face, people would imagine I’m always like that.

They don’t realize, I need a carer to help me in the morning so I can get out of the house…

They don’t realize every day I spend out of the house, out getting to appointments and doing “things” I spend the next day in bed…

They don’t realize I get out of bed and it takes about an hour for all the pins and needles to go from my good hand!

People just see my arm in the cuff and collar. They don’t realize there are secondary issues.

And the secondary issues on the secondary issues…

More of that later…