Cleaning

Ink Blot!

There are these posts that I put off writing because I never want someone who knows me in real life to look me in the eye and quote any part of it and while I could start this post different ways, here’s how it is.

You know those days a friend off loads all their shit and drama on you within five minutes of walking in the door? No? Just me then?

Well, I’m just warning people the next time this happens, I may cut them off with this. If you get through the day and you didn’t end up in your ensuite with your pants down around your ankles, your Thundies around your knees with poo (You heard me) on them and your face on the floor in the corner.

Oh, both shoes off, your AFO still half on (Being the reason you fell off the toilet in the first place) and this is the clincher. An ink blot poo stain on your floor and poo on the wall (still not sure how that got there), then you have what we call first world problems. Sometimes a friend will tell me, ‘Oh Helen, everyone has problems.’

From now on I will direct them to the above highlighting ‘ink blot’. It’s a great image, isn’t it? If you’re not sure what it is, it’s the weird prints on the wall in a shrinks’ office walls, clients (sorry) ask “what is that anyway?” and the shrink returns, “It’s whatever you think it is.”

Usual answers

“Oh! It’s 2 people making love”
Or “It’s a butterfly”
Or “2 cows”
Lol.

There’s nothing worse than being on the floor in a compromising position and having to work through what you must do in order to get up. That’s that!

I need to eventually roll over onto my right, straight onto my ass, naked ass, I will add, knowing exactly how cold that would be and then wriggle over to the hand basin. More wriggling, onto my knees, right elbow on hand basin then after pulling the second strap off my AFO, try to wiggle my left foot behind me and lever myself up.

Mostly, my right side leads on these adventures and I demand my left leg eventually pulls some weight. Add Pine O’ Clean, toilet cleaner/Napisan and Sard stain treatment, clean Thundies and pants and some serious cleaning in Aisle 2 (Don’t overthink it!) and I’m upright and ready to face the day.

Yeah! This happens to be the best of us and if someone tells you this kind of story, don’t pardon the pun – It’s pretty shitty.

I once had a carer arrive on a Saturday morning and when she saw my ensuite she asked, “What happened here?”

I’m telling you, I cleaned the bathroom, so there was no evidence of what had transpired in there the night before. I explained and to say it was of some similarity to the above and she asked, “Did you just sit on the floor and cry?”

I’m not saying you don’t want to, but it doesn’t help. You gotta plan your attack, do what you have to do to get up/get cleaned up/clean up the bathroom and get dressed.

If all you can do is get into bed to sleep off the trauma, you should. But sitting on the floor in self-pity doesn’t help.

Next!

Blame

I’m not sure if it’s just Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) or the whole disability, but I find I get blamed for all kids in my family or even just my home. I’ve had some new carers of late and one is my new Saturday/Sunday lady. She wouldn’t come for less than 90 minutes, so I figured I could make it work by giving her some odd cleaning jobs.

Clean fridge

Nothing major, but on a Saturday, I’ve asked her to clean a shelf in the fridge (it will be all clean eventually) and other things that rarely get done (cleaning the cutlery drawer or cleaning the front of the kitchen cupboards). The second Saturday, after washing went on the line, I know she didn’t do any of the other tasks as she had found the new foodie magazine on the dining room table.

Magazine on table

She commented to me I really liked cooking and Donna Hay’s recipes were easy. When I remarked to my mum, she said it was my fault, I left the magazine out on the table.

Donna Hay

The message was rather scathing, I didn’t know where else I was to have put it, in my own home…

It’s my home, I don’t leave out bills, cash, bank statements. I’m wondering if anyone else experiences this?

I can’t wait until I get my next Neuro psych, I’ve had countless, but my mum is insisting on being there next time. (pointless/counterproductive) and she wants to be there for the debrief.

Psych

She says it’s so she can better understand my ABI, but I know it’s going to lead to me better understanding my behaviour and then changing it to suit the family.

Behaviour

Nearly fell over on the tram today, Yes! It was the day I was carrying that darn cool-bag, but still number 1.

Why do people who don’t fit the criteria to take up those seats with signage stating they are for people who are elderly, disabled or pregnant. While I’m here, can pregnant ladies not sit in my seat in their first trimester. Please! You just look a little fat, sorry. Save it until you’re nine months pregnant.

Disability seating

Today, I wriggled up by asking a young woman to hold my walking stick, being weighed down by both my bags. It took an effort to push myself up.

I put my hand on the wall behind the driver’s cabin and had to balance so as not to fall backwards when the tram lurched forward. I stumbled and a woman behind me to the right, screamed out that I had trodden on her foot.

Stepping on toes

She dropped the F* Bomb to describe how much it hurt. I muttered an apology, but I had struggled to remain upright and had thrown my right hand up and grabbled the headrail. The woman holding my stick looked at me concerned, I think she wondered when to give me the stick and I had to wait for the tram to stop. I will often lean my shoulder or hip against that wall of the driver’s cabin to get my balance.

Falling over

I had to ignore the woman who complained I’d hurt her foot. I had apologised and I think her feet weren’t anywhere near her seat and she hadn’t realised how precarious my situation had been nor did she care.

I did notice she didn’t look like she had any of the pre-requisites of taking up those seats.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix this situation…

fixing it