Hell on Wheels

All posts tagged Hell on Wheels

Busy Brain – Part 2

Published August 21, 2023 by helentastic67

Busy Brain Part 2

I promised something to the ladies of a group I’m in these days about how to manage a busy brain and a busy home.

Now, we don’t like the term “clutter!” Because it has so many negative connotations. But everyone has stuff that gathers around their home waiting for someone to decide what is its destiny, where it needs to go and how it should best get there.

When you have limited spaces, disabilities and limited ability to get out and about it’s made all the more difficult.

In a safe space, as this group has become, I share this information. I have processes to things that come into my home.

Mail is opened. It sits on my couch, my work area until I process it. Appointments are added to my diary. Post-it notes are added to letters, bright colours with dates/Day/Times. Letters put in my “Out-tray” area and my “Out Tray” is officially a three-tiered trolley on wheels where I put my bag for when I go out.

Under the top shelf items are briefly stored or built up until I go places where I can donate things. Like batteries to be recycled. (Aldi) Or printer ink cartridges. (Officeworks!) Generally keep the ink cartridge box there to, so I take it with me for a refill.

I find I am constantly building networks all the time, so I put people and things together to help me solve not just my problem but others around me.

Everyone complains they can’t dispose of their XYZ, old printer or mattress or something.
Previously mentioned Frank was to take my mattress to the tip. I was even going to go with him, so he didn’t get tempted to dump it next to someone else’s hard rubbish to save me money.

He looked at my old mattress and while I’d bought a brand-new mattress so I could get rid of my 20-year-old mattress he knew people that were sleeping on old, wet, mouldy mattresses. Not even springs were sticking out of my old mattress. I’m just saying we all need a Frank in our lives.

Also, What? You don’t know if his name really is Frank? It might be Fred. You should all know by now.



Internal Weather

Published August 14, 2023 by helentastic67

Internal Weather

Recently, I’ve been part of a bunch of different community groups on zoom. They are groups big and small with people with all kinds of disabilities. It’s been good as at the beginning we all are asked what our internal weather is. It’s like a check in.

Today, I answered with what would solve the short-term problems I had. I was fresh from an hour long zoom that was just two of us and a very friendly chat.

So, my answer was “Nothing that would be fixed with food, chocolate, coffee, sleep and drugs.” and sometimes, I think this is too easy. I’ve just written another blog post.




Death

Published August 6, 2023 by helentastic67

Death

And death, let’s not forget death. Death ends all pain.

Although I hope we are all on the same page, that I’m wanting to die after a long and happy life surrounded by more cats than I currently have.

So, I’m not planning to get to the finish line for a long time yet. Openly discussing mental health is important. We need to make it a far less taboo topic so people that struggle more feel they can talk to somebody who will listen. I was having a conversation with another woman today about the crazy lady hormones. As I do.

Because they are driving me fucking crazy of late. During the last years of navigating the Plague, OK, Covid-20 I had another diagnosis. To which I’m not at all impressed with. I have endo (endometriosis).

And I think I was also told I have a high pain threshold. Because, I’ve apparently had a lifetime of that too and didn’t notice.

Probably a good thing I wasn’t trying to have babies……right? But the good news is when I hit the actual Pause, it stops.

Pun not intended there, the symptoms from endo, they stop. And I said to this woman, I should fucking hope so!

You Get a Point

Published July 31, 2023 by helentastic67

You Get a Point

I’ve a new carer right now and it seems a genius time to mention my point system, as it’s as good as time as ever.

My Monday carer washes a nonstick frypan that I’ve used to make my Sunday omelette. She tells me the handle is a bit loose and asks do I have a screwdriver? Do I ever!

I look at her and announce, “YOU GET A POINT!” and I went for my Phillips head screwdriver. She saw where I got it from and knew where to return it when she was done. There is no whiteboard in my home where my carers can compete with each other for an elusive prize. My carers might never meet each other.

Before this carer left, I had reason to open my dishwasher to put something in. She had unpacked it and packed in a few things that had been stacked the night before when the dishwasher was in a cycle, I notice how she had put them in.

Sweet Jesus! It’s the weirdest thing about human nature. No matter how many times my carers unpack the dishwasher, they will always stack it completely different. She LOST A POINT!

It’s really an amusing way I communicate to my carers when they do something that makes me extremely happy. Not just little as well as big things they notice and take care of for me. The above statement issuing and taking points are always delivered with a sharp glance and a cheeky smile, so they know the point system does not have any relevance as to if they get to come back.

Oh, carers can also decide if they do not want to return. In case you wondered?

Worst Sleeping Pattern Ever

Published July 17, 2023 by helentastic67

Worst Sleeping Pattern Ever

Anyone else have a terrible sleeping pattern? No! Just me then? Regular conversations with friends:

Me: I got to bed early last night! (My point already is it didn’t help…….)

Friend:  What time?

Me: Before 1am! (I was still awake at 3)

Friend: That is early for you!

I’ve said for years “You can take Helen out of the Clubs! You can’t take the Clubs out of Helen!”



Fun Exercise

Published July 9, 2023 by helentastic67

Fun Exercise

In recent years my once family proud handwriting has gone to shit! (As diplomatically as possible) I know, I can’t understate how terrible my handwriting has become illegible. Even hieroglyphic. Is that a word?

I mean, I write it and even I can’t read it. It might be when I swear the most in the week and that could be saying something.

Who wants to play?

Here is a portion of my shopping list. Take it as a challenge to decipher my handwriting? I feel I should tell you now, for my own amusement, I call my shopping list “Shop Lust!” Because it amuses me to do so and on the top left corner are the grocery items I require.

It goes as follows…
Lasagna sheets
Vanilla Essence
Marmalade
Betty Crocker
***************

Honestly. WTF is that? My carer states “You really wanted them; it’s got several exclamation marks after it!” when this happens, we play it by ear and as we do the aisles getting me some steps in my never-ending battle to get some tiny amount to compete with my blog administrator Noelle.

8pm Friday night……
Me: How many did you get? I did 3,000.
Noelle: 27,000 so far!
Me: how many can I have?
Noelle: 5,000
We both know this is not how it works but it certainly amuses me to ask.

Doing the aisles I reach for the items I remember I need just by going down the aisles. It’s my carers job to check the list as we go to make sure we haven’t missed anything. The ********** remains. We give up as it doesn’t jolt my memory. We head home. Unpack.

My carer departs, the tasks are completed. I’m pulling towels from the clothes dryers hours later and I let out a swear word. The one ending in “Me!”

I get my phone and text my carer those exact words followed by, “sultanas!” At least I worked it out, it would have driven me crazy until I remembered.

How to improve my penmanship? Well, I’ve given up handwriting my blog posts and now I smash them out on my iPad. Not as cathartic but avoiding the issue.

And hit Like and leave a comment.

Living with Migraines

Published July 3, 2023 by helentastic67

Living with Migraines

Sometimes, I will arrive at an appointment and announce when asked how I am that “I’ve had a migraine”. Because generally I’m a walking/talking migraine most days but, occasionally I get lucky and I can’t do adulting. No phone, no TV, no sitting on the couch even. Instead, I’m in bed before 10pm, somewhat high on Tramadol. Not “High” enough but it’s hopefully going to help me get to sleep so I can sleep it off and the following day maybe it’s gone.

Anyway, this happened Tuesday, my first appointment out of my home and what answer do you think I got? No, all of those options did not happen. Instead, I was greeted with “Its going around everyone’s got it. Migraine! I had a migraine last night!” Um, I don’t know about anyone else who has ever had a migraine but, NOT CONTAGIOUS!

If I could have been out with my worst migraine to date, I’ve yet to write about when I was 23 and barely responsive and could have shared the wealth on that one to ease the load. I would have shared it. I’m not exaggerating when I say I WANTED TO DIE!

So, to say the least, not helpful when people say the above when you are hungover from a migraine. Even though it didn’t wipe me out completely, I was still hungover mid-week. Do people understand why I was never a drinker?

To be continued………

Rules for Life

Published June 26, 2023 by helentastic67

Rules for Life

Sometimes, I might have some simple wise words to share on how to be a decent human being. Today, I feel could be one of those days.

It’s a friend’s birthday.

Rule 1. Wish them a Happy Birthday.
Rule 2. (Almost as important as Rule number 1 if not more so?) Do NOT choose that day to unload your personal baggage ON THAT PARTICULAR DAY! IT’S SO SIMPLE BUT, SOMETIMES PEOPLE NEED REMINDING, this day is not about you.

Please leave a comment if you have had this happen to you.

Hit Like.

It Is What It Is

Published June 19, 2023 by helentastic67

It Is What It Is

These days I don’t wear make-up, I mean, what’s the point? In my twenties, when I worked in clubs, I wore make up day and night. My thirties, I let my skin breathe.

According to some mental health surveys, the fact I do not wear makeup is a sign of my depression. I don’t know how men feel about that. I don’t know any men these days that do wear makeup.

But mostly these days I look in the mirror at some point in my morning absolutions and decide it is what it is and not much will make it better.

My recent adventure to Drag Bingo I had teased my gay friend, if he was lucky, I would wear make-up. On the night I had the CBF’s. I just figured, why wear make up to sit in the dark with a room full of gay men? My friend said there was one straight guy there. Once there, I asked “where is this one straight guy?” Not like I was on the hunt, just curious, I was informed he didn’t actually know but THERE WAS ALWAYS THAT ONE STRAIGHT GUY. And let’s face it, there was more make up on stage on that one drag queen than the whole rest of the venue. Also, didn’t need to set the precedence that the next five nights of comedy festival I would feel any need to repeat the process.

For years now, if I’m high maintenance in a low maintenance way or a low maintenance in a high maintenance way kinda girl? I’m still undecided.

In my earlier days, my nighttime club routine was very basic. I say “Basic” because some people do not think some of these things necessary. Shower, you heard, necessary, definitely deodorant. I repeat! Necessary, I would moisturise, my face. Brush teeth, then ladies, moisturise again, then apply makeup.

My first club/make-up girlfriend advice line friend told me you emphasise your eyes or your lips not both. I’m terrible at eyes so I do lips. Apply lipstick, lipstick, loose powder and the actual lipstick. Blot. Powder then re-apply and repeat. You get that’s right and it stays on all night.

Now, moisturiser, after the shower, creams, deodorant and moisturiser and yes, brush teeth. Glance in mirror. WTF AND LEAVE.

I don’t know why I’m still single? I don’t think it’s because I don’t bother to wear makeup. At my father’s funeral, a friend asked if I was going to wear sunglasses? WHAT?

I presumed he meant some Big Fuck Off Gucci’s or such. I told him no and I would definitely not bother with makeup. He was way more Italian than I am and hangs with people way more Fuck Off Gucci’s than I am so I didn’t figure it mattered.

In the last ten-twenty years I have stepped up my high maintenance rituals though, after my radiation treatment I was on steroids for brain swelling so with that comes a whole gambit of WTF!

  1. You lose your thigh muscle to me. Those muscles specifically that help you get up.
  2. You put on weight! Check! That fucking happened.
  3. You get hairy, in the beard area! You heard me! The BEARD AREA!

So, for a while I looked like a fat, ugly hairy teenage boy. I had asked my specialist, when will the weight come off? I was informed It would just fall off. So, I’m still waiting for that miracle, sort of.


That was when I started prescribing to regular electrolysis’ appointments to defuzz my face.
One or two times I had so much fuzz on my neck under my, chin my beautician went to get the stick of wax from the waxing room. As she applied it, I asked if it would hurt? You know if you have to ask, it’s going to, right? She said those words you come to fear. “I cannot tell a lie!” “Sweet fucking Jesus!”  were my words.

You know when she gets the wax out for that part of your face it’s because it’s out of control. Better to start from fresh. The hairy bitch-ness calmed down eventually after some years being on and off the steroids but of course then the sliding into the Pause hairy bitch-ness began and I was back at it.

Was not fucking happy!