Fair

Published December 29, 2017 by helentastic67

Fair

I guess ‘Fair’ is something impressed upon us as children. I’m of a generation where I have an older sister by a few years and had cousins around my age. We all grew up spending time playing together, so the concept of what is ‘fair was instilled in us.

Be fair! Share your toys! Don’t hit your sister! (sorry, got carried away)

But let’s face it, when you’re all grown up, let’s hope the ‘ethics’ that were instilled in us at a young age stayed with us, because that concept of ‘Fair!’ takes on a mute-point because, let’s face it.

LIFE WASN’T MEANT TO BE CHEESY! (Easy)

Life isnt easy

As an adult, you learn that shit things follow more shit things. There is no one to blame for the bad-stuff.

Bad things happen

I have a belief in Karma and some other ‘things’ and I often question if I was an Outright Cow in a previous life, but that can’t be right, I’m rarely a cow in this life, I think perhaps in this life just got

THE SHAFT!

Karma

Now let’s talk about the concept of ‘fair’ in the world of funding…. Yeah! Like it’s even a thing?

I’ve heard of stories of people having a house worth $500,000 and other parents of kids with funding making sure their child (now an adult) has a brand new 3-bedroom apartment in some beachside suburb of Melbourne, bought for them.

Parents

Now, said ‘child’ will never be able to earn the kind of money required to own such a property, however said ‘child’ has also never lived out of home. Where’s my Goddamn property?

I understand no funding in the world will buy me the great Australian Dream, but still!

Things my NDIS won’t cover and why…..

My monthly appointment to my shrink (OK, Psychologist, but semantics)

I’ve been seeing my chiropractors weekly, weekly, sometimes twice weekly for ten years. Never going to be fixed and because I self-fund, because I had no choice.

So, ergo they consider they don’t need to fund these things.

I didn’t have a need for these things before my diagnosis or my disability and these two things alone, if I hadn’t prioritised to pay for them both, I WOULD NOT BE HERE!

There are many other things I needed the NDIA to fund, but my review is in three months so, I guess that shall have to wait.

NDIS review

Limits

Published December 27, 2017 by helentastic67

Limits

With the possible exception of relationships with boyfriends in recent years, I’ve learnt my limit for dealing with bullshit or ‘whatever’ is four years.

There are some houses I’ve lived in for four years and I’ve moved when landlords wanted to renovate and sell, or just sell. I’ve now been where I am for four years and about to sign a lease for a fifth year. The last three years, the rent has been inching upwards to ridiculous.

Landlord

But to other things, such as my voluntary efforts, I generally throw myself in and do that original assessment.

What am I doing?
What needs doing?
What needs to change so I can do this?
What can or do we need to achieve by being here?
Is it achievable?
Am I being respected and supported?

When you put it into those terms, four years seems like a long time, right? So, it is with great frustration at this year’s AGM of the Self Advocacy group, I’m part of that I’m resigning from my role as Treasurer.

Self advocacy

I’m not a quitter generally, so it really leaves me unsatisfied and frustrated and grumpy.

No quitter

Next!

Hot off the Press – 25th December 2017

Published December 25, 2017 by helentastic67

Merry Christmas 1

Hot off the Press

Firstly, allow me to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! This is a strangely typical sight in Australia despite being almost 40 degrees in the shade. Prompting me to ask….”is it melting?”

Snowman

I’m spending Christmas with my mum and younger sister, three and a half hours north-east of Melbourne. I actually lived here about twenty years ago for two years. But it doesn’t make it easier to cope being out of my comfort zone.

Mums place 1

Mums place 2

Day one, I couldn’t manage to cook my toast even without incinerating it. I can’t see the forest for the trees when looking for my juice and mineral drink in the fridge. But the first breathe of air as I get out of the car is worth it every time. The other downside is, there is no mobile reception here. When I head out of the valley I turn my phone on and it goes crazy with messages. In the car, half an hour. before arriving, I found out there wouldn’t be turkey! I insisted on being taken back home, but here I am, Sunday night in mums’ armchair, feet up, a small quilt on my lap and a ginger fur child stretched out up my legs. Did you hear me? A fur-child, there are two here, brothers. My sister named them after two anime twins Hikaru and Karou. I can’t tell them apart and at times neither can my mum or sister. They are very well-loved kids. They roam free during the day and remain indoors at night.

Fur baby 1 Fur baby 2

Christmas here is all about eating, sleeping and catching up on binging TV I think we are all exhausted for our own reasons and for me being here is a complete break from needing to deal with appointments, carers and the three different service providers and all that, that requires and the constant dealing with idiots! So up to pussy’s bow with the idiots!

Idiots

Although I did get an early Christmas present. From the NDIS, considering what a monumental stuff-up that has been. I cannot tell you the wasted hours spent chasing getting my shoes paid for and in the end the person in the office who had met with us and completed my plan had not pressed the button triggering spending my funding. Seriously, I have received a document so long it’s impossible to understand even what I can use my funding for. But yet some idiot didn’t press a button so I can actually have the funding. I digress, I got my early Christmas present. I got my shoes.

New shoes

And they are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever had. About $340 and they are not even paid for. The lovely Kim at Extra Depth Shoes in Elsternwick was really nice to let me have the pair she had been saving for me until the NDIA get their shit sorted out!

Christmas eve, my sister introduced me to a great show. I commented it was just so wrong and my mum told me I couldn’t be offended. I wasn’t but to be clear some of you might be. Try Trixie and Katya, two bitchy guys in drag. Offering dating advice and answering mail from their fans. That segment is called Male Bag! They are very funny. Check out this Link…….

https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/sexuality/fast-lane/article/2017/08/21/katya-and-trixie-mattels-new-show-getting-fast-tracked-sbs-viceland

Might I mention, the Christmas lights are turned down to what is described as “not to epileptic fit” setting.

Stay tuned for some photos of our traditional Christmas trifle and our ham and this year lamb roast. You might get hit in the face with those for the untraditional Wednesday good mental health day post! And when I get out into reception I’ll share some pictures of the great outdoors.
Cheers,
H

P.S. a mystery gift arrived from my older sister in with mum and my younger sisters presents. I announced “Oh, hell no!” She sent us a Christmas CD.” I’m just saying next year we are regifting that back to her. We are now listening to Nine Inch Nails! And mum put it on so don’t think she is being tortured.

Christmas cd

Pain to Avoid Pain

Published December 22, 2017 by helentastic67

Pain to avoid pain

Pain to Avoid Pain

Today, amongst all my other choices, appointments and allocated for today, I decided to restock on some pills.

Panamax, OK, if you don’t know it, it’s similar to Panadol. I like to imagine that’s worldwide. Sure, Panamax is in the Opiate family, But, for crying out loud.

Panadol

The effort today, I went to get 3 packets (300 tablets) for a cost I can afford, you would think I looked like someone who was going to go home and chow down on all 300, in as little time as possible.

Allow me to do some dumb maths.

I can get a script from my GP, one packet (100) $6.30

I can get a different script from my GP, 3 packets (300) $6.30

Then there’s a bulk chemist that’s low on bling and high on affordability.

Cheap chemist

Today, I hit a shop in the city where I had hoped to get all 3 packets and I was surprised they were only $0.99. But, I was only allocated 1 packet (100).

FRUSTRATION

I explained Panamax is not my medication for serious pain relief. I joked it’s in the Heroin family and we all laughed.

Ok, it’s higher up in the food chain in the family of opiates.

I use Oxynorm.

Oxynorm

The facts

5 mg’s works in about thirty minutes, lasts about three hours.

I’m not going to get much help at all from Panamax. No matter how many I imagine I would need to take. Not suggesting I’m going to try. Not issuing a challenge to anybody else. But, I often meet people who are medicated for short treatment with something like Endone.

Endone, the basic facts.

Endone

Takes a little while to kick in. For Helen level pain, it’s barely going to take the edge off for thirty minutes.

So, those who get head spin from Endone? Amateur. Anyway, general education about opiates over.

After a few brief stops in the city, I catch a tram half way home. It’s not a flatbed tram (not disability friendly) I manage by pulling myself up with my good arm.

Flat bed tram

Half way home, I get off the tram to venture to another Chemist, this time, Panamax one packet (100) $2.00.

Still one packet short for the target for the day, I really don’t want to go through this again for a while.

Ah! Quick calculation, I go through in a week, so I get back on another tram, up two steps and catch the tram almost there and hit a third chemist.

Dedicated Right!

Third Chemist another $2.00.

Bad habit.

Get back on tram, about five or 6 tram stops then walk home about twenty minutes.

I can feel my left foot and it’s not happy.

My pedometer tells me I’ve done 5,370 steps today. That’s when I’m wearing my bag since my clothes don’t have pockets.

Pedometer

Let’s hope my brain remains pain free as it would be counter-productive to need more opiates.

Isn’t it funny that we suffer some to avoid other suffering later? It’s a calculated risk.

Suffering

Today’s Lunch (Yesterday) – 20th December 2017

Published December 21, 2017 by helentastic67

Todays lunch 2012

Today’s Lunch

Warm weather really brings out the good in people in Melbourne. Was down here yesterday for a meeting. On the tram I used my super power of Tolerance. There’s a guy that got off the tram, I noticed he had a Jesus Badge on. I’ll just say Jesus had not taught him anything about deodorant. Hence my super power. Tolerance.

Jesus

Right now, Wednesday early evening I’m really glad I started this post yesterday. As today was in warp speed from about 12.30pm, when my carer left. I inhaled my pills and my mineral supplement and my juice. Then left on my scooter Hellonwheels. Her first journey out from my new place, the first 5 minutes and I was on familiar territory. That’s right no breakfast, no Young John, no time for diddly squat! Scootered to my normal parking location at acupuncture and crossed the street to catch the tram to Chiro. No time for lunch either.

Speeding

Hence, officially but not officially a normal Wednesday, good mental health day foodie post! Once at Chiro I had a small piece of Christmas cake. Seemed heavy on the rum but not complaining. Had my rib put back in, I was correct as predicted not tickle.

Chiro and then back on the tram north, no time for lunch then either. Picked up pumpkin bread for Christmas, two cannoli from another of my local’s, so I considered that lunch.

Got to have a microdermabrasion abrasion facial. I seem to get one once a year, not often enough. I have an ethic on my beauty regime that is I’m a high maintenance girl in a low maintenance way. Or maybe a low maintenance girl in a high maintenance way. Hard to choose. Anyway, after my facial I collected Hellonwheels, my dry cleaning and pumpkin bread. Scootered home via one of the many Burger places that have cropped up around Melbourne. You may recall I mentioned Coburger and Co some time ago? My local is Kustom Burgers http://www.kustomburgers.com.au/.

main-burger-kustom

I would like to include a picture of the delicious burger I ordered except after arriving home I inhaled it. I was a little dizzy by that stage. I really must prioritise regular meals in 2018!

Made it to 7.30pm before I crashed. Had a kip before getting up to pull the rest of the night together.

Nap time

Apologies for lack of photo moments today, so even the best laid plans and my ability to be flexible and roll with the punches food is often an afterthought. I can always eat later……….
This is always why my Wednesday plans are always so vital to good mental health. To more calm in 2018!

Mental health day

Just a reminder, for the next week the normal routine will be different. Stay tuned you might get a surprise………
Cheers,
H

Christmas

Hot off the Press – 18th December 2017

Published December 18, 2017 by helentastic67

;Hot off the Press 1812

Hot off the Press

Monday, off to the city to get shrunk! Ok, I see my psychologist, but it sounds more entertaining to use the other term. I’ve been seeing her for years and still not fixed!

We all know, good mental health is about maintenance. There is no fixing it. It’s ongoing,
scored a great book for free, just because I asked about it. I was informed they couldn’t sell it. So, I was gifted it.

T world

Had a few brief stops to gather more goodies for a parcel I’m sending to Texas, to a blogger friend.
Medicine while getting shrunk! My comic shop, much catching up to do. Tram home and my bag was so heavy I was co pulled to weigh it five kilograms! I don’t understand how I don’t have a fully blown second disc-bulge. Have some symptoms of anxiety and no idea why. Since, I live with a level of anxiety all the time, I just don’t know what I can do to alleviate these symptoms.

Bulging disc x

Tuesday, a quiet day at home massage, followed by a kip! Some admin and phone calls and then caught up on some TV.

I hope you saw my Wednesday foodie post? Ended the day with more medicine before my last appointment and this thing…

Chocolate thingy

Made it home and found my carer didn’t take the full bucket of water in the kitchen sink out to water the plants on my balcony. So, I had to, in stages. It was 40 degrees in the shade today and my first hot chocolate Calla Lilly has arrived. So, after watering the plants I had a kip for about an hour, but I just couldn’t make it. After my kip I smashed through all the rest of my chores and admin. Ironically, a friend said a while ago while we were discussing Banksie/life/the universe “back when Banksie was living with him!” What! He told me he went by a different name, let’s say “Fred!” because it’s been a while. It’s a very small world!
Banksie

Thursday, finally got my shed put up in the car park and funded by the NDIA. So, it has power and get back out on the road. Well, the footpath……..but still. I went up and down so many times to take the handyman down to B1, and collect the woman with the agreement for me to sign. Then had to go let my carer Sana in so we could do some prep work for my bread and butter pudding. Sana arrived in time to help relocate some gardening and cat supplies to the shed, clearing the last of the thing from my balcony and the main bathroom. Things can actually settle now. Thankfully.
Hellonwheels rides again!

Rides again

Friday! Please let this week be over! Have had a little migraine niggling behind my left eye the last two days. Finally got a commitment from mum for the days I would go up to her house for Christmas and when I would come home. Mum has to drive Three and a half hours each way. So, I could finally contact the three service providers to put my services on hold. By the end of the day, I already have to reinstate some of those services. Still trying to get everything done before Christmas! Snuck in a visit to Wilbur today. Bella has been hard to find. But Wilbur is usually sleeping, quite contented on the counter.

Wilbur

The bread and butter pudding has already started going out the door.

It’s already Saturday and I’m not yet off-grid. Not happy! Must quit! Actually, had my phone on over the weekend, but on silent. Megi, my old neighbour visited, and bought presents. Now I have to find someone to re-gift chocolates to. I did the sleep/eat/TV weekend. Very happy I didn’t attempt to do anything more.

Saturday

Starting the week with a rib out and it’s one that will not tickle when my Chiro puts it back in on Wednesday. Counting down to Christmas and going home. There are two fur-kids there of the cat variety. I will share some pictures for Christmas, it I might take a break from my Hot off the Press Monday posts so I can burn off some of my handwritten older posts. Feel free to offer constructive feedback. Definitely hit me with a Like. Have a great week!
Cheers,
H

New week

Pets

Published December 15, 2017 by helentastic67

Friday look

Pets

I know someone, not really a friend, but an acquaintance I guess. She has two cats and a dog and a husband and a job. Whatever, irrelevant.

She told me once how her cats would go out the pet door and play during the day and when she returned home, she would do a ‘head count’. She would find them lined up in the lounge.

Head count went something like this.

‘Cat, cat, dog.’

2 cats and a dog

One day the head count went something a little different.

‘Cat, cat, cat, dog.’

Extra cat

What the?

Apparently, they had bought home a friend.

Reminds me of this……

Meerkats

Last week, I went to put something away in the linen cupboard, I stopped at the fridge in the kitchen spotting something in the laundry.

There was a black and white thing ‘eating Jamima’s food!’

Visitor

“Hey!” and some other inappropriate words.

The back door was open and Jamima had obviously came back inside and clearly this ‘thing’ that feels our home is its second home, decided to come inside.

The ‘thing’ scrambled away.

I guess Jamima just lost her privileges to come and go from the backyard as she pleases.

It’s really ordinary feeling when you feel like you’re on the outside looking in or the inside looking out.

Looking outside

No one understands or seems to care to try to understand. They don’t seem to care that your being left out.

It’s cold and lonely out here and the sharpest uncaring comment has the power to lead me to tears.

It’s a really shitty place in a family to feel like the black sheep.

Black sheep

Now, to cry myself to sleep.

Friday

Today’s Lunch – 13th December 2017

Published December 13, 2017 by helentastic67

Todays lunch 1312

Today’s Lunch

Hot! Its hot today in Melbourne.
Luckily, I scored a seat in the back room in full blast range of the aircon. It only sucks a little when the back door gets opened and I’m overwhelmed by a blast of heat.

And something a little different today. Is Pizza! On a tummy fluffy base with buffalo mozzarella.
A bigger than normal side-salad and that little Sicilian cannoli is actually BREAKFAST! (No judgement please) had to get out when Young John could fit me in.

Pizza

Salad Cannoli

Planning to pick up Young Johns beautiful panettone today as his wife Young Betty (of course) will be at Chiro later and can take it home so it doesn’t melt. Gabriella even thought to mention I might reconsider taking it today so it doesn’t melt, I buy one panettone here each year and I gift it to Young John and his wife. They are so important to me and the panettone so pretty.

Panattone

Ironically, I didn’t eat panettone as a kid. Mum recently informed me when we visited my Nona & Nonno, it always appeared dry and unloved so we always avoided it. Now, I buy about 4 cheap supermarket ones every year for my baking!
Sssshhhhhhhh!!!!!(secret!)

Guess I should point out the pizza’s here are like what I had in Italy way back in 1994! Really thick base, made in a huge tray. Simple toppings and very, very tasty.

Italian Pizza 1

And you only need a slice.

Here are some photos for you. Before I leave and brave the heat.

Hot outside
Cheers,
H

Wednesday

Jealous

Published December 7, 2017 by helentastic67

Jealous 2

Jealous

Crazy day today well, okay, yesterday officially. I still run on a Nightclub clock. It’s not the next day until you have had sleep. Even if the sun has come up. Technically it’s after 1am on Friday morning, but anyway.

Friday

Yesterday I had a Carer, it was a day I don’t normally get one, but I had more stuff to do. The fourth day in row and the last three with a migraine. The kind to make me really seedy, but not cripple me enough to keep me from going to the things I’d prefer to be left out of.

My Carer today, one of my regulars didn’t turn up until 11am. I’d gotten up earlier, put on a load of washing and gone back to bed. My Carer apparently wake at 6.30am and lay in bed considering the possible excuses to not get up and go to work.

Getting out of bed

Then she remembered she had me, so she got up. By the time she got to me, she had already given six others a shower. While helping me to dry and dress, she made another confession. When she pulled up outside, she noticed the blinds on the windows here, still down. Her first thought was;

Getting out of bed 1

“That fucking bitch is still in bed!”

I cannot tell you how much I laughed.

Laughing girls

She laughed too, just so you know.

It’s rough when they have all the things you don’t and yet the simplest things can make them envious.

weekend

Today’s Lunch – 6th December 2017

Published December 6, 2017 by helentastic67

Todays Lunch 0612

Today’s Lunch

So! Another crazy day!

Let’s do a stocktake for something different? Who is ready for Christmas? Who has all their gifts? Done their baking? Sent all the parcels to other countries or States to get there in time for Christmas?
Mmmm, not I! Shame!

Christmas stocktake