Another Day Disability

Published October 16, 2023 by helentastic67

So, it’s another day, another fucking disability. Sometimes, a bandaid on one important finger on my right hand just adds to the torment. In year 9 (circa 15) we learnt how to touch type. Yes, that’s with both the hands, losing strength in my left hand while in an admin job often meant I was already saving time by only typing with my right hand. With all five fingers and thumb but rather proficiently.

Now, I’m even more proficient typing one handed, but on occasion, an injury occurs. Not from typing but in general and a band aid is sported and depending on thumb or fingers it’s like having my disability day zero all over again.

I’m a thumb texter and that is as infuriating as if I’ve cut or burnt my thumb. Because I can only text if I’m seated and I have my phone on my leg or table.

Honestly, don’t even get me started with how hard it’s getting to turn off my phone one-handed. It’s starting to be not disability friendly.

Seriously. Yes, there’s a lot of “seriously” in this post. Go try all your devices, gadgets, things one-handed and not just once, do it like it’s your only option. Like it’s your reality for now and ever after.

Apple, stop making your tech child-Proof. Well, Hell-Proof! I’m already not playing well with others by brewing an Apple user. I prefer it that way to be fair and if one needs reminding.

Hit LIKE! Feels needy but we all have needs.

Swearing – Part 2

Published October 8, 2023 by helentastic67

Swearing – Part 2

What, did you think we were done on this topic?

This is how seriously times have changed. I still remember the first time I swore in front of my Mum, it was a Big Thing. I mean, it just slipped out, she was washing dishes in the kitchen sink and I hadn’t meant to say it out loud but obviously she pulled me up straight away with a “Hey!”

In the olden days the first swear word we used was “Shit!” These days I might let outta a “Excrement!” It’s the same thing just better educated. To the younger generation, use more creative words. Get educated.

And can you drop the long annoying acronyms? So happy to not be parenting in this day and age. One of my recent younger carers, let’s call her 25. Guess what her first swearword was? Yeah, rhymes with Punt. Exactly!

The context here is she was arguing with her brother and she felt he had been and he deserved to be told and their mother heard. Oops!

I think we all know my favourite is still a good “go forth and multiply!” I will let you work that one out for yourselves.

Swearing – Who Me?

Published October 2, 2023 by helentastic67

Swearing – Who Me?

It should be needless to say; I’ve become a bit of a potty mouth in the last fifteen years since my disability. With the best of intentions, I’ll be swearing a lot here today, but all within context.

Hope you can cope? Note, not a question.

When I worked for that shitty NGO (Non-Government Organisation) twenty years ago, it was a Christian Non-Denominal Not for Profit and the grumpy ex-chef taught me one of my favourite swear words that he made work appropriately. Sort of, he would sit and behind his desk, pull up his pants and state rather loudly, “Jesus!” Brief pause “Mary! and Joseph!” I don’t know if my more Godly followers are still reading. But if that’s offended you? You should probably stop reading now. It’s only going downhill from there.

I don’t even know what I wrote for the more devout to follow me to start with, but hang in there, I’ve got something for everyone.

Meanwhile, I express, the above workplace I only refer to these days as Voldemort! If not familiar? He’s the evil person in Harry Potter and they do not utter his name for fear just doing so will bring forth his evil, I will circle back to that one day but it’s a dark place I don’t often venture.

Occasionally, I’d be out with a carer and witness stupidity from another driver on the road and I would let out a “Jesus!” Just that and my driver/carer/wheel woman would complete the saying. I’d compliment her with a “Your training is complete!”

It’s not always needed but when my boss used it, I would look in his direction and enquire, “Is that our caseload?” He would be cleaning his spectacles in quiet contemplation and I asked, “What is it?” He would quote a number that was not good.

The term caseload indicated how many clients we had currently referred to us to get in the door, get Placed or get Exited for one of many reasons. But mostly, it indicated how we were doing a lot of work and if not being efficient enough we were not actually getting paid for it. Other favourite swear words since, have been Sassafras, it’s actually an outer Melbourne suburb where it’s rather nice and lovely, but really, it’s just my creative way to swear. What does that mean? I don’t know. Whatever you think it should? Alas, I should stretch my other creative genius on swearing to another post.

Power Down

Published September 25, 2023 by helentastic67

Power Down

If you saw my blogpost a bit ago where you actually saw me doing a radio interview. You may have noticed I didn’t look at the camera much.

Recent conversations with my Nueropsych where I explained if I’m talking to someone I know, I don’t bother making eye contact. I know who they are, I trust them in my personal body space, I know what they look like so I’m only needing to engage in the conversation. Occasionally, I’ll look up at them to find they are staring deep into my eyes.

This is not to sound romantic at all and I’m generally taken aback being pinned by someone’s eye contact. In reality, I need to cater to my loss of eyesight in ways you cannot imagine all the time. I move people from my peripheral vision on my left to somewhere on my right. When people loiter in my blind spots my brain is trying to see/make-out what it can’t see and in this process, I get a migraine and generally, people I’m trying to see do not stand still. This adds to my brain strain.

So, it is to say, my nueropsych explained by not making eye contact with people it’s how I preserve my energy.

I thought it was how I Powered Down.

Bullying

Published September 18, 2023 by helentastic67

Bullying

I don’t know what it is with bullying these days. Wait, hear me out. When I was young, I was bullied although we called it something else. It made us tough, but we had to say terrible things to a person’s face.

I’m not going to ever suggest kids these days are soft. I am going to say, kids these days get it easy. If they couldn’t hide behind their computer screens and their fake profiles, they would see the damage they do on the cold face.

Kids these days skip a lot of stages and very quickly go to “you should kill yourself!” I wanna meet those kids, they deserve to be throat-punched. I think it’s akin to, I want you no longer breathing.

I’ve never done it, but I like threats that people never know if I’m serious or when they will get delivered my threats.

Young kids need to learn of the consequences of their actions. Can they please stop telling other kids they should kill themselves?

No! I mean it!

Part of my Existential Crisis series

Published September 10, 2023 by helentastic67

Part of my Existential Crisis series.

Sometimes, with advocacy it’s really hard to get the point across to people who you might be applying for funding or navigating the system to get the care/help you need to survive.

Funding, whether it’s DSP or NDIS the people who make the decisions about if you even qualify or not, don’t have the same lived experience that you do? it’s helpful to

Do I hit them with all the information so at least maybe something hits? or

2. Cut things back to the basics.

What!? You didn’t expect I had the answer to this did you? I live in this space every day of this TMI (too much information) territory, or do I give people as little as possible?

It never ends.

How much do I need to tell people to get from them what I need, for them to do their job properly, for me to do or achieve what I need to do to get through the day/week, etc. Just so I can manage to get to the next day.

It’s frustrating to think I’m not trying to do anything super amazing in life; go on holidays, have children, look after children, have a dinner party. I don’t know. what is considered normal. I just want to be able to do tomorrow, well todays been a lazy day so I should hope tomorrow I smash the shit out of the day.

And my goal is to at least be able to do that.

Clutter – Part 2

Published September 4, 2023 by helentastic67

Clutter – Part 2

What’s with this thing called Clutter? I think I could write about this for the rest of the year, but alas I will not.

Sometimes, change happens slowly. I have limited space in my home, but items migrate according to if I’m sorting, working on a project, or trying to get rid of it. It often comes out of hiding for short periods of time to be addressed and outsourced if I can then file back as if archived. Other items migrate until they find others destined for the same destination. Then I make a conscious effort to move that pile to its new forever home.

At times, areas get busier. Rarely is my desk clear, but I take some satisfaction in knowing stuff is getting achieved. The wheels keep turning. The lights keep going on and the bigger goals are often given up to a higher power to take care of and I just have to live with that.

There is still great satisfaction for seeing an area clear of clutter or mess, it just happens gradually and no one gets to judge me on the process.

Clutter – Part 1

Published August 28, 2023 by helentastic67

Clutter

Someone once said to me “A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind!” No, I did not punch them. Get a bigger desk. Sometimes, a cluttered desk is a sign of being stressed and having too much on the go and not enough time to do it all.

Solutions.

Stop saying “Yes” to everything, manifest people into your life to outsource things too.

Others would just drop their standards of quality, but I can’t. My Quality Control slipping would do my head in.

I guess it’s a perfect balance or ethics and being High Functioning. Should I get a drinking habit? Don’t answer that!

Could be why I get so frustrated?

Busy Brain – Part 2

Published August 21, 2023 by helentastic67

Busy Brain Part 2

I promised something to the ladies of a group I’m in these days about how to manage a busy brain and a busy home.

Now, we don’t like the term “clutter!” Because it has so many negative connotations. But everyone has stuff that gathers around their home waiting for someone to decide what is its destiny, where it needs to go and how it should best get there.

When you have limited spaces, disabilities and limited ability to get out and about it’s made all the more difficult.

In a safe space, as this group has become, I share this information. I have processes to things that come into my home.

Mail is opened. It sits on my couch, my work area until I process it. Appointments are added to my diary. Post-it notes are added to letters, bright colours with dates/Day/Times. Letters put in my “Out-tray” area and my “Out Tray” is officially a three-tiered trolley on wheels where I put my bag for when I go out.

Under the top shelf items are briefly stored or built up until I go places where I can donate things. Like batteries to be recycled. (Aldi) Or printer ink cartridges. (Officeworks!) Generally keep the ink cartridge box there to, so I take it with me for a refill.

I find I am constantly building networks all the time, so I put people and things together to help me solve not just my problem but others around me.

Everyone complains they can’t dispose of their XYZ, old printer or mattress or something.
Previously mentioned Frank was to take my mattress to the tip. I was even going to go with him, so he didn’t get tempted to dump it next to someone else’s hard rubbish to save me money.

He looked at my old mattress and while I’d bought a brand-new mattress so I could get rid of my 20-year-old mattress he knew people that were sleeping on old, wet, mouldy mattresses. Not even springs were sticking out of my old mattress. I’m just saying we all need a Frank in our lives.

Also, What? You don’t know if his name really is Frank? It might be Fred. You should all know by now.

Internal Weather

Published August 14, 2023 by helentastic67

Internal Weather

Recently, I’ve been part of a bunch of different community groups on zoom. They are groups big and small with people with all kinds of disabilities. It’s been good as at the beginning we all are asked what our internal weather is. It’s like a check in.

Today, I answered with what would solve the short-term problems I had. I was fresh from an hour long zoom that was just two of us and a very friendly chat.

So, my answer was “Nothing that would be fixed with food, chocolate, coffee, sleep and drugs.” and sometimes, I think this is too easy. I’ve just written another blog post.