One Word

Bruises

A woman saw the bruise on my chin today. Six days later, she asked “You fall over? For what? Nothing!”

I didn’t bother explaining to her and shrugged and then the best response I’ve had all week, one word. “Fuck!”

Also, it helps to know I was in an Italian supermarket. Well Greek, but wog I guess so sometimes I love the non-PC and non-business-like response I can get from this sector. I seem “white” to many people in Australia, but in the “wog sector” I’m part of their own, as my father was Italian and I look enough European in that setting, they will not mince words. I appreciate that and respect it.

About 2 weeks after my fall and the bruise was mostly gone, I was at my favourite cafe and the longest serving hospitality staff member Gabby said rather simply “It could have been worse, you could have lost all your teeth!”

And she was bang on the money. Respect.

One Word 2

One Word

You know those things in life, I’ve managed to excel at and what I consider winning at life skills and yesterday I shared a piece of my Helen’s wisdom with my Case Manager over our lunch meeting and he managed to trump me with just one word.

One Word 1

It’s with his permission I share this story with you.

When I moved to my home four years ago, I had plenty (too many) of door-knockers, you know the ones, bible bashers, God bothers and since watching a show a few years back called “The Heart of Dixie” I’ve based how I deal with these situations, based on this particularly great, but grumpy character. In short, the character is the Mayor, he’s a retired sportsman of African American background and he’s seen as a tall black drink of water, so it’s very funny when he greets everyone with a strong and grumpy ‘No’ and he just repeats it. Until whoever is asking something of him, goes away.

Hart of Dixie

So, on a Saturday I’ll open the door in my PJ’s and encounter a sweet young Asian girl or two well dressed, clean faced boys (sorry men) and before they get a word out I start with the “NO!”

Answer door in pj

If the brochure in the hand comes out or they open their mouths, I just repeat “NO, NO, NO, NO!” you get the idea. A good head shake never goes away. Then I step it up by closing the door. Sometimes I’m peeking around the door with “NO, NO, NO” and the head shakes to see if they are still there. Why are they still there? Then I slam the door.

No no no

I must say, I thought I was nailing it, I really did until I met with my Case Manager yesterday and somehow this topic came up, he told me what he does in a word, trumped me. He opens the door, says one word and then slams it!

Ready?

Wondering what the word is?

“GAY!”

Gay

OMG! They win again, I could lie, I guess, but I just thought it was way too good.

Today I re-countered this story to my carer while she thought about it, I suggested I didn’t know if all religions had the same opinion about Gay and Lesbians and told her I didn’t care enough to research it.

Religion

But, I think sometimes life with a disability can be pretty depressing and sometimes it’s these amusing moments that we should share to make it all worthwhile.

Feel free to use either of these methods to dissuade annoying people from pestering you at home.

You’re Welcome.

You're Welcome