Gay

All posts tagged Gay

Dave’s Dick

Published June 6, 2022 by helentastic67

Dave’s Dick

This is a weird little gift a friend gave me that has provided many laughs.

The 2 silver things are USB’s – so is the dick!

I outsourced to a tech-savvy friend to procure (buy!) me some USB’s so I could play my music in the cars of my carers when we are out shopping. He did and he saw this apparently, I just learnt months later he had ordered a Wonder Woman USB but this arrived instead, which makes it even more amusing.

I’ve put music and shows on it and loaned them to my carers. The husbands and partners enquire “Who’s Dick’s that!?”  This is after I enquire “Did the Dick work?” Oh, this could go on.

I even had two gentlemen come to my home with a daughter/niece in tow Miss 6. She went to meet Mika on the bed, the father close behind. On the way past my entertainment area, she grabs a “Toy”. This is when the father followed to make sure Miss 6 didn’t get herself into trouble. Leaving me to explain to the uncle what exactly the Toy had been. I explained stating, “She won’t yet know what it is but, it’s a bit wrong” Thankfully, the uncle was amused and I sent her off with some chocolates to share with a brother. I am such a Nona!

Should I need to mention my tech friend is Gay? So, he’s not a straight “friend” being weird. Just one of my gay friends being greatly amusing. Enjoy!

And hit Like!




The Ex

Published August 2, 2021 by helentastic67

The Ex

There are days I have plenty of sad topics to cover but I like to find a positive from a negative. Take my ex-boyfriend. No really, take him!

I will liken him to Wentworth Miller (actor).  Are you familiar with him?  I’ll help, Prison Break.  Full body tattoos, yeah!!!! Deep breath and Gay. Yep, ladies can’t have him. He’s into guys, which is fine. I used to have a picture of him on a pinboard. C’mon, we all did. It’s nice to dream.

But gay?  Gay!  We’re fine. The other team scores another one but my ex, I digress, poster on my pinboard and my stepdaughter (yeah, it was brief, at the time I had a step-daughter.)

She asked her dad if the photo was of him?  He looked at me and I smiled a little and shook my head. Now, I thought we had been together about four years, but apparently, we had not been. I guess because he sent mixed messages. I like provincial furniture and decorations. He suggested if I could save some money, we could have a trip to France.

Me, now?  So, I can have another fucking holiday to the most romantic place in the world with a so-called boyfriend who didn’t have the same ideas for our relationship that I did.  FUCK NO!  Thank you.

This Could Be Obvious

Published July 9, 2018 by helentastic67

This could be more obvious

This could be obvious

Every now and again (like every other week, so it seems) a celebrity or famous sports person gets on the band wagon about their beliefs, that same-sex marriage is wrong and that they feel straight religious people are being bullied by the ‘Gays!’

Same sex marriage

I hope I only have to say this once. I am straight, I went to Catholic School for nine years. OK, I go to weddings, funerals and baptisms if invited. But I’M OK WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

Approve same sex marriage

People will love who they love. They will live together, buy property together, start businesses together, raise children together. The Government will expect them to declare their relationships for Government benefits and tax purposes.

Government approval

They will just as likely be in a relationship the same length of time as a straight/heterosexual relationship. Why can’t they marry?

Just because I’m a single barren spinster (hoping I’m not going to be single forever) but barren, that’s probably not going to change. That ship has sailed, that ship is in Fiji already. I’m not standing between two people who love each other, having the same rights as anybody else.

Ship has sailed

I’M OK WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

I can’t believe this is still an issue in OZ…

Ah! And in 2018, we finally caught up with the rest of the world!

Love 2018

 

Normal

Published May 14, 2018 by helentastic67

Normal

Normal

Lately, I’ve had a new batch of carers come to me for a variety of different services. They have come from different cultural, religious backgrounds and different ages and beliefs and education.

Different

And again, here I come explaining some common-sense stuff, some manners (you heard me) and that it’s not sad or against God if someone is Gay.

Common Sense

I’m not Gay, but seriously I didn’t survive this long without having Gay friends. But it’s weird that again a new batch of carers and I have to be the one to explain what I accept as normal is actually ‘NORMAL’.

Normal is normal

If I’ve got a guy in the peripheral of life who is my friend, values me for who I am, is the right amount of bitchy, right amount of foody talk and a decent degree of understanding and empathy. What do I care they are into penises? And not V-jay jay. It makes life easier that I know they’re not trying to get into my pants.

Gay friends

They obviously appreciate me for the other parts of me. I think I’m lucky for my Gay friends.

Oh, yeah the manners part.

Good Manners

Sometimes I have carers who just help themselves to things, like tissues or rechargeable phones (WTF). Some girls walk through the lounge, grab a napkin (and I’m watching this as I follow them) they scrunch it up and throw it in the kitchen bin.

Seriously, I’m more than a bit “Green” and I’m not made of money.

Not made of money

One Word

Published May 7, 2018 by helentastic67

One Word 2

One Word

You know those things in life, I’ve managed to excel at and what I consider winning at life skills and yesterday I shared a piece of my Helen’s wisdom with my Case Manager over our lunch meeting and he managed to trump me with just one word.

One Word 1

It’s with his permission I share this story with you.

When I moved to my home four years ago, I had plenty (too many) of door-knockers, you know the ones, bible bashers, God bothers and since watching a show a few years back called “The Heart of Dixie” I’ve based how I deal with these situations, based on this particularly great, but grumpy character. In short, the character is the Mayor, he’s a retired sportsman of African American background and he’s seen as a tall black drink of water, so it’s very funny when he greets everyone with a strong and grumpy ‘No’ and he just repeats it. Until whoever is asking something of him, goes away.

Hart of Dixie

So, on a Saturday I’ll open the door in my PJ’s and encounter a sweet young Asian girl or two well dressed, clean faced boys (sorry men) and before they get a word out I start with the “NO!”

Answer door in pj

If the brochure in the hand comes out or they open their mouths, I just repeat “NO, NO, NO, NO!” you get the idea. A good head shake never goes away. Then I step it up by closing the door. Sometimes I’m peeking around the door with “NO, NO, NO” and the head shakes to see if they are still there. Why are they still there? Then I slam the door.

No no no

I must say, I thought I was nailing it, I really did until I met with my Case Manager yesterday and somehow this topic came up, he told me what he does in a word, trumped me. He opens the door, says one word and then slams it!

Ready?

Wondering what the word is?

“GAY!”

Gay

OMG! They win again, I could lie, I guess, but I just thought it was way too good.

Today I re-countered this story to my carer while she thought about it, I suggested I didn’t know if all religions had the same opinion about Gay and Lesbians and told her I didn’t care enough to research it.

Religion

But, I think sometimes life with a disability can be pretty depressing and sometimes it’s these amusing moments that we should share to make it all worthwhile.

Feel free to use either of these methods to dissuade annoying people from pestering you at home.

You’re Welcome.

You're Welcome

%d bloggers like this: