Saturday

I like to imagine I’ve mentioned it but just in case I haven’t or you missed it. I go off the grid on a Saturday.

That means no mobile phone, none. No emails, hell no, no emails and no social media.

Despite the fact I’m ‘retired’, not bragging, I’m unable to do any of the things that used to pay me and I couldn’t manage what most consider ‘work’, so I am retired, but poor.

Yet I’m still busy with the phone calls organising things, the emails and the keeping tabs on other people’s ‘social media’. Damn I will never get through Facebook news feed, which I might look at twice weekly and hate myself for it later.

However, Saturday’s are the days I allow myself to do one of several things, I eat, I sleep and I watch some TV.

And I repeat.

Today, I’ve mixed it up a little. After I watched ‘whatever’ show while eating breakfast, I decided part of my new routine should be to read a comic.

This is generally something that makes me tried anyway and I am five years (you heard) I repeat, five years behind on my comics, so I read a comic.

Everyone celebrate and do a little dance, because I can’t dance.

And now sleep…

Last Friday, I went to the butchers, I don’t do it often admittedly and I normally save time be calling my guy “Jim” (OK, it the owner but still). This time I just decided to go get a ticket, stand and wait to order like everybody else.

Big Mistake…

Apart from the full body slam from behind I received from some bearded hipster dude because, I mistakenly stood near the ticket machine, I didn’t get what I asked for and of course didn’t know until I unpacked it later. The full body slam, I confess to say was the highlight of this experience, since it’s been some years since I’ve had that level of full body contact.

I know, but from a chick who chooses to be celibate, but misses all the ‘smoochie’ stuff.

What? I’m only human…

The celibacy thing, I’m sure I’ll cover that another time, but in short if I’m single, I’m celibate and now I guess that’s done for now…

Anyway, back to the meat. I don’t know if it’s my slight facial droop or that the woman wanted to sell a more expensive product or she was just deaf but, I was sure I said – “Can I please have four snags and a half a kilo of diet mince!” And what do you think I got? I got four snags – check and half a kilo of diced beef.

Guess I’ll be rethinking how I use it. Which includes defrosting in time for a carer to cut it smaller and perhaps a nice salad with Portuguese spices.