Night Owl

If people are unaware, I’m telling you now. I do not go to bed early; I’m also not a morning person. Even the receptionist at my chiropractors today was impressed when I told her I got to bed last night before midnight. So, here’s how that goes, got to bed last night by 11.30pm. Woke the first time around 12.30am, meaning that had been a fucking waste of time Then, 2.30am, 3.30am, 4.30am, then 5.40am at which point I set an alarm for 6.01am, so I can hit the MEPACS button and sleep past 8.30am, until my carer arrives. I got back into bed at 8.01am, rolled over to see the bedside clock and a black mark on the wall.

It looked like a white tail spider, prompting me to get straight back out of bed and grab a shoe stating to nobody in particular, “Alright I’ll get it and Where’s my Husband?” 

I do my best work when nobody’s around to witness it and ladies, we all know even if I had a husband, I’d likely be the one sorting out the spiders, trades and the criminal reinforcements. That didn’t sound right.