Life One Handed

All posts in the Life One Handed category

$8.69 – Part 2

Published March 25, 2019 by helentastic67

$8 69 1

$8.69 Part 2

I feel I should point out why I think I managed to get a reduction in my rent, because I suspect it’s partly to do with the type of property I rent.

Rent Reduction

I got lucky last year and got a property in a scheme that’s part of an affordability scheme called NRAS. No idea, but might find you a link. https://www.nrasvic.com.au/

But the basic premise goes like this, I think it comes under state funding (as opposed to federal) just a fancy term for a different bucket of money. All new builds where there is an excess of 30 apartments on the one site, the owner is offered a tax incentive that a percentage (small) be offered as part of this scheme where they get less rent than current value and the loss in rent is given to them as a tax deduction.

Tax Scheme

The potential range of tenant’s must be low income, I actually had to prove I earned less than $45,000 per year. Um? I’ve never earned that much, so if this scheme had been around, I would always have been eligible.

Low Income

FML

But still, there are seven properties in my building, or considering the number of apartments on site, there might be more. I know there are ‘owner-occupiers’ and a reasonable turn-over of properties being sold.

Low Income Tennants

The scheme runs for ten years and hopefully, depending on the market (property) they will continue for another ten years.

Over all I much appreciate living amongst “Normal” people. As I’ve lived opposite some public housing, I barely coped with that. I wouldn’t have survived living in that public housing. I’m not being a snob, I happily waved and took time to chat to some of the tenants, I gave my compost to a lovely Chinese lady for her garden and the young single dad, I gave away muffins and goodies. But I don’t need to live amongst the drug dealers and crazy people who strangle their cats because I was “listening” to their conversations. I wouldn’t hear you do your phone banking if you didn’t do it on your front balcony.

Live amongst normal people

Yeah, that guy turned out to be Schizophrenic.

Disclaimer: Not everyone in Public Housing is a drug dealer or schizophrenic.

$8.69 – Part 1

Published March 22, 2019 by helentastic67

8 69 Part 1

$8.69 Part 1

$8.69, $8.69, $8.69 ad nauseum!

So, I moved into the apartment in late 2017 and had my first inspection in March. So far so good. Then I was asked if I could be available for another walk-through, about four months into my twelve-month lease.

First Inspection

I confess, to say even knowing the rental law for twenty years of renting etc, I was concerned. I had asked for the OK to get my fur baby, had been less for over a year now and sad. Still so sad.

Permission Fur Baby

So, I also started to worry this extra visit was related. Eventually, my property manager told me they had to bring through a guy to ‘value’ the property.

Value property

Oh, my God, what’s happening? Please don’t sell. I just go here.  You have no idea the drama it is to move when you have a disability. How much goes astray, how much I would sell, that gets given away, thrown away, donated, LOST, damaged, when you are one-handed.

Moving House

Anyway, the property manager bought the quiet man through and it was all very sterile and efficient. Not complaining but, my home wasn’t as clean as it had been for the inspection and of course, I was stressed so over thinking. A few months later, I received and email. It was late at night when I got to my email, that day. I thought – Cat? Or what? Oh, no! What? OMG, I got what?

Rent reduction

 

A RENT REDUCTION? WTF?

Small rent reduction

When do you ever hear about that?

Okay, it wasn’t much, yes, you guessed it. It was only $8.69 per month. But whose complaining.

OMG

I haven’t mentally spent it yet. However, I’m breathing a small sigh of relief.

How to spend it

So Cat?

Cat So

Waiting Game

Published March 18, 2019 by helentastic67

Waiting Game

Waiting Game

(By not responding, you are saying you would rather I was dead. Let that be on your Conscience)

I often wonder if people know or realise what it’s like to be kept waiting? I know we are all so impatient and then younger generation (I’m sounding like an old lady) I know SHUDDUP with first world problems. But really!

Realize

Keeping in mind, despite my sometimes ‘good-cheer’ I still have the underlying mental health issues of depression and anxiety, so I’m making a stand. It’s fucking important.

Please Reply

If I send you a message, reply!

It’s a possibility I need your help or I need something. If I don’t hear back, I’ll not stop messaging you. I will consider everyone else in the world has a busy life, a significant other, husband, wife, kids, a job, holidays, pets and a mortgage.

Busy lives

Don’t worry, I fucking know, you have all the things in the world that I don’t have. It’s usually why I leave you alone. I let people live their lives, I keep myself busy. This is why I watch soooo much TV. But, if I message you in any way, shape or form, please respond.

Watching TV

I’ve had some people (family, yes, I said it) who feel pestered when I continually message them. Let me tell you what it’s like when I’m playing the waiting game. I over think, I stress, then I feel like I’m an annoyance. I feel like you think, life would be easier for everyone if I wasn’t here.

Depresssion and family

So, if you have a friend or a family member that reaches out and you KNOW THEY SUFFER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. REPLY!

Mental Health Issues

Take a moment, because sometimes for those waiting for a reply means so much and takes so little.

Show you care 1

 

Alone

Published March 15, 2019 by helentastic67

Alone

Alone

Every night I sit on my couch with my cordless phone, on the off chance a family member thinks to give me a call. But do they? NO.

Sitting on couch 1

Social media is the same, I message a friend and I’m lucky if they reply, I realise I like to book a committed catch up to see people. Coffee, lunch, a film maybe. Something? But I can be content with a reply, a reply and telling me what you are doing is still nice.

Sitting on couch

It’s not lost on me that others are busy, they have all the things I don’t. Family, a significant other, kids, no kids. For crying out loud. I get it. I am without a job, a mortgage, holidays to plan.

Things I dont have

Would it kill people to send me a message? I initiate all contact with friends. I have friends that are tired and busy and they still make time for me, for lunch or something. When I see them, they commit to being sociable with me. We have enthusiastic, intellectual conversations. It is nice, it is rare.

Intelligent Conversation

I completely get that people think I’m bitching, whinging and moaning, because they only ever see me when I’m at my best. They only see me ‘smash-it-out’ they don’t see me when simply rolling over in bed makes me want to hurl.

Bitching and Moaning

Adapt

Published March 11, 2019 by helentastic67

Adapt

Adapt

Now, for some light and shade. If you just turned ‘twenty-three’ it was pretty dark times. Although this story stems from a purchase from back then.

Improvise

When I finally got a queen-sized bed (my dad made me a sleigh bed) but more about that later. I bought some affordable pine furniture to fill my bedroom, two bedside tables, a tall boy with a large blanket drawer down the bottom and an upright bookcase with nice moulding on the top.

Pine furniture

Now, I said it was affordable, I meant cheap. However, I added some raw amber water-based paint, some patina (antiquing medium) and some polyurethane in a satin finish and more than a single effort with the sandpaper and what can I say? Carpenters daughter, right here.

Painting

Anyway, that’s the background, the tall boy in my current home lives in the ‘return’. File under ‘apartment living’, all new builds must have a window to every bedroom. That means my bedroom has a hallway like space to the window, where I have put my DVD, bookcases and the tall boy (and anything else that didn’t fit anywhere).

Bookcase

So, being one handed and because I don’t stand in front of the tall boy to get the draws open and closed (I did say cheap right? The draws aren’t on runners) making opening one-handed painful and the trials and dilemmas on being one handed and having limited space. I reached down and was hitting the drawer on both ends to get the thing closed.

Open draw

That’s all background you need so next is the punchline so I hope you stayed with me.

So, recently late one night, putting my clothes away, thinking I might even make it to be by 1am. (Yeah, it’s a realistic goal, even if it’s not one that makes my shrink happy) I obviously hit the tall boy draw one too many times, rather vigorously and the candle stick on top fell off and connected with the top of my head. Yes, it really hurt and yes, I used my favourite word. AND rather than slow it down, it seemed to gather speed as it hurtled towards my foot.

Kicking furniture

Which foot? I hear you ask. For those who don’t know or don’t remember, my left foot has been affected by my ‘stroke, not stroke’ as I like to call it.

Stroke no stroke

So, of course it landed on my right foot, because I can fucking feel that one. Sweet Jesus, it hurt so much. Lots of swearing as I hobbled to bed and even days later, here is a photo of my bruised toes.

Bruised toes 1Bruised toes 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Solution? Need to update the tall boy to open with drawers on coasters for easy sliding and good OH&S. Adapt! Adapt! Adapt!

Adapt and learn

Letters

Published March 8, 2019 by helentastic67

Letters

Letters

On an occasion I require someone I trust to read a document or letter, I can’t, I think you all realise I’m not an idiot, this is not why I need someone to help me in this way. Reading anything longer than part of a recipe has the ability to give me a migraine and somethings are just not in simple English.

Not an idiot

Recently, I entrusted a carer to read a letter attached to a Visa statement. Because I don’t have regular scheduled visits from my mum (the only member of the Team Helen) and the time I’m lucky to get from busy friends we spend on more of the ‘fun things’ I asked a carer to read the letter attached to the Visa Statement.

Read my statement

Firstly, I suggested for her to not look at the actual statement, I reassured her I didn’t have a ridiculously high limit on my card and I had a low interest rate. We had previously discussed what it cost me every month in interest charges and when I stated how low they were, I had to mention how little an interest rate you can get, if you are prepared to change cards (my previous account I could quote the digits without looking at the card). Sadly, it went as well as the 18% interest rate for something more affordable.

Don't read the statement

I digress, she started to look at it and ask if I wanted her to read it to me? I told her no and paraphrasing it to me would be fine. I really wanted to know the dot points, if I don’t pay the full balance by tomorrow, will they kill my whole family. Because I’ve had it sitting on my desk for weeks. A month has passed and the family is all still with us and so is my Visa and the next statement has arrived, more damn reading.

More reading

This time I did take a look to see again if I didn’t have to pay the whole balance by tomorrow or my whole family would be killed.

Live another day

No such luck, that it was that simple. It even mentions “clauses” from the previous letter.

Banks have a lot to answer for.

Banks

FFS!

Simple English People.

Simple English

 

Twenty – Three

Published March 4, 2019 by helentastic67

Twenty Three

Twenty-Three

Today, I’m going to take everyone back in a time capsule or a time travelling machine to when I was about twenty-three.

Time machine

Ah, good times, right? Well, we shall see. I’ll let you decide.

As you know, when I was younger in my twenties, I worked in nightclubs in Melbourne. Until recently, I thought I’d worked in clubs for a whole ten years, but when I did some ‘hard maths’ I realized it was only five years.

Nightclub

My club ‘work’ (it’s still the right team if my output of hours and efforts did not equal my income) was several day’s a week and as many night’s as 2-5 nights a week. Despite my best efforts, at one point I found myself without a roof over my head. I had been living with my older sister and when we finished the lease on a house, she found a place quickly and moved out and then I struggled.

Homeless

Apparently, it’s really hard to imagine when I said ‘I don’t drink, so won’t becoming home drunk and vomiting’ and don’t lay around all day is not much of a sales pitch when promoting one’s self as a prospective housemate to strangers.

Looking for a new home

Having a good club network of friends, I managed to find a space on someone’s lounge floor for a small amount of money so I wasn’t out on the street.

Living on the lounge

These kids were younger than me and the meals I cooked and shared were the only meals I saw concocted from their kitchen. Needless to say, I maintained my day/night sleep deprived routine.

Sleep deprived

After a month or all of my house-hunting efforts and my day/night work routine, the kids I stayed with asked me to go stay elsewhere, as the landlord (one of the girl’s father) didn’t want me there.

House Hunting

On the Tuesday, my day routine of distributing night club passes, took me to Chapel Street South Yarra and Greville Street Prahan. I dropped into visit my sister, who worked in that area. She gave me a very hard time, that I hadn’t found anywhere to live.

Sisters

I then ran into my cousin with her shopping bags of groceries. I was so happy to see a friendly face. I asked her to go get a coffee with me, as my sister had so upset me. When I saw her friendly face, I burst in to tears. When she went to put her groceries in the car and come back to me, the weirdest thing happened.

crying

I got a splitting migraine and plus I peed my pants. What? I know!

Briefly, visited the café to use the toilet, then my cousin gave me a lift back to where I was staying. I made it inside feeling very seedy. I hadn’t eaten all day, other than my spirulina (for breakfast). The toilet was occupied, so I threw up on the carpet. What? Are you not meant to do it there?

Feeling seedy

Have you ever had a headache so bad you couldn’t make a simple decision not to throw up green spirulina on cream carpet? Yeah! It was that bad.

Bad Headache

I made it into the toilet only to collapse on the floor, one of my temporary house-mates actually had to come into the small toilet to lift me and get me out, because I just couldn’t move.

Collapse on floor

Thankfully, they put me to bed, closed the blinds and turned off the light and with a little instruction from me they rang my mum.

Call Mum

To this day, when the shit hits the fan, I call my mum. Have I mentioned, I love my mum?

Love Mum

Mum was on the road within an hour to come get me. Back then, mum still living in my home town in the North East of Victoria. So it took her three hours to get to me and once I was bundled in the front seat with a bucket (that I don’t remember using) we headed back home for another three hours. I don’t recall having much to say all the way home.

Mum to the rescue

Now, to be clear, at the time we put my migraine down to MSG food poisoning as it was and still to this day, THE WORST MIGRAINE I’VE EVER HAD.

Worst Migraine

I was bedridden for a week and I didn’t eat. I remember visits to a chiropractor most days and on one visit being muscle tested to work out what I could eat. One morning mum insisted I eat and she bought in some green grapes. Good, right?

Bed ridden

Mmmmm, we arrived at the chiropractor’s office, not far from mum’s in time for me to fling open the car door and deliver those grapes onto his driveway. A woman was doing her gardening and commented I really needed to see the chiropractor.

Chiropractor

One morning mum insisted I get in the shower, I remember getting into the small shower and just standing there unable to move. Eventually, mum came to help me. Did I mention I love my mum?

Assist in shower

During that week, you might wonder whey my mum didn’t take me to a doctor or emergency room? Yu know, those moments when you realise a ‘higher power’ (I refer to it as The Universe looking after me. I have few Catholic types who follow my blog) they will think it was odd but anyway. Every time my mum went to call the hospital or the doctor, they were engaged, so we got the message not to go.

Call Doctor

I did notice my head hurt less when I rested it on one side less than the other. Weird right? After a week, I all of a sudden felt a little better, at least good enough to eat something. What did I eat first? I’m such a wog, Salami, then Cabana, OMG I think mum thought I’d be sick, since I’d not eaten for a week.

Such a wog

I remember being very slow to get my energy back, all in all I stayed with mum and my younger sister a whole month. My older sister visited once, insisting I was being lazy and to get my arse back to Melbourne to get a job, so I could find a place to live.

Being Lazy

While at home, you might wonder if I heard from any of my club friends, since I would normally be there from opening (10pm) until the end (5am), I was usually out in those days from anything from 2-5 nights a week. One night, I started to my ‘good-byes’ to friends far earlier than normal and one guy asked me if I was dying. I’d had a cold, Ok. Can’t a girl go home early once in a while?

Have a cold

Correct! No one called me while I was sick to ask how I was. Admittedly, it was before the era of everyone having a mobile phone.

No one called

Interestingly, the Universe really was looking after me while at the time we thought it was MSG food poisoning, after my diagnosis, when I was thirty-four, one of the specialists I went to, was in Sydney and the young lady (who actually hailed from Melbourne) suggested back when I was twenty-three, I likely had a bleed or a leak from my AVM.

AVM

My mother and I agree if I’d been diagnosed back when I was twenty-three, the hospital I was born at in the country, would have had the attitude of ‘No Worries, we can fix that’ and it would have been the worst experience of a guinea pig ever.

No worries

Ironically, when I collapsed that day back in Prahan when I was twenty-three, I wasn’t very far from ‘The Alfred Hospital’ which is eventually where I had my radiation treatment. Mum and I both agree that I was diagnosed at the right time, because the early treatment options that were available to me came to the Alfred and was covered by Medicare.

Diagnosis

So, all in all, I think I was really lucky and my sister, to this day has no idea how serious it was.

No Idea

Family – Part 3

Published March 1, 2019 by helentastic67

Family Part 3

Family Part 3

Now, it’s a week later since I wrote the previous post, so having lost my train of thought, forgive me if this post seems disjointed. It seems that many people would claim their family is fucked. (had to be said) However, brain injury and disability brings out the worst in families.

Family and brain injury

You like to imagine, families can put aside their own issues to rally around the person with the shittier situation.

But, No! I have family members that don’t understand my brain injury, don’t want to, or just figure they will get on board ‘Team Helen’ when the only team player (my mum) on Team Helen is no longer here.

Not team Helen

My mum is almost seventy now, I love her so and I don’t think it’s fair my much younger sister be expected to take over one day.

My father, who I also love and respect because he’s my father. I only see once or twice a year because I make the effort when in the part of countryside near where he lives. I can never stay over at his house where he has plenty of room, because I’m not having my father help me after my shower. Seems a fair compromise.

Shower

If my father has been to Melbourne in the last fifteen years, it doesn’t occur to him to visit and I’m the only daughter of three that has regular contact with him.

I think my family are all in their own world and my mum is the only my family member to spend any significant time with me, to solve problems, do forms or paperwork and now she is older and because her memory has been affected by a rather lengthy medical procedure, if she starts something with me, but takes it home to complete it. It’s not getting done.

Problem solved

She will have every reason under the sun for why I can live with a half-baked solution even if it’s me being $30 short on my income for a debt I rightly don’t have, and she is happy to keep calling every 3 months when the government agency must be contacted to have them not take any more of this from me, but this is how it is. It’s easy for family to ignore what I need because they don’t need those things. They will offer solutions that don’t consider the big picture.

Family

I’m the only person who lives where I live full time and sees the situation in its whole. All the fall out if something is overlooked and the changes to my environment that may impact my health and home. (Referring to build up of moisture in my home from wet laundry or even just if I buy the wrong kind of clothes dryer that leaves more humidity and moisture into my environment) And just how exhausting it is every single night in the colder months to re-hang my washing inside on other racks so they can continue to air-dry inside.

Air Drying

Winter is approaching and it’s looking to be my second winter here without a clothes dryer still having not recovered from buying my front-loader washer a year ago outright.

Not recovered

Now, I’m sure this subject is far from covered, but I’m sure to circle back at another time.

Family – Part 2

Published February 25, 2019 by helentastic67

Family Part 2

Family Part 2

So, it is to say, I think health issues, brain injury, disability, all of it takes a toll on families. I’m lucky, I still have both parents, however my relationship is different with both.

Takes a toll 1

Divorced how for over twenty-five years, my mum will drop everything and has to come and be with me, sit by my bedside, drive me all over the place, move me countless times and on one occasion even shower me. (Yeah! Yet to write about how that came to happen) Yet my father whom I love, I have to guilt him into helping me, which is usually in the form of well, most recently, bond, removalist costs. So, nothing to sneeze at, but guilt into helping me.

Guilt trip

I also have two sisters (surviving), one older and another sister much younger. Despite the closeness in age between my older sister and myself (two years) we don’t see each other often and the two times in my twenties we lived together has put a wedge between us.

Sisters living together 1

My younger sister is almost sixteen years younger and keeping in mind she was young, I changed her nappies and as a youngster our experiences as siblings as children and “whatever” we have all had very different experiences.

Changing nappies

My younger sister, you could say has been raised by a single parent with older Aunties (I’m the cool one, of course). Also, I’m the second child, a confused second child, as when I was eight (exactly) my younger sister was born and died fifteen months later. After being the second child again, I was the middle child again, at almost sixteen, hence the confusion.

Second born

Sharp

Published February 22, 2019 by helentastic67

Sharp

Sharp

Sharp or quick witted, I’m told I’m both by people who have gotten to know me in the last few years. I mention this because it’s not what people imagine when they learn I have a brain injury. The general perception of someone with a brain injury is, someone who can’t think for themselves and can’t walk or talk. But definitely the process stuff.

Disabled

Today, I saw the lovely Bella (it’s Italian for beautiful, but more importantly in the feminine) it’s what I call her because I can’t recall her name, however she speaks Italian, I do not, but not the point right now.

Bella 1

 

I asked how she was and took it as an opportunity to answer honestly. Winter has just begun in Melbourne and she stated her throat is a little sore.

I recommended something and wrote it down for her. I explained to her while I don’t know Italian, I am a bit of a Nonna (Italian Grandmother who likes to look after people).

Nonna

On leaving my favourite café I handed the information on some paper to Tobey (the Barista), I mentioned my handwriting has really suffered of late, so I wrote it twice. He read it and passed it on to her. He said “Yes, echinacea, I could have told her that”, so I asked “Yes, but did you?”

Echinacea

He didn’t hear me the first time, but he did agree he had not thought to tell her. Luckily, I will be able to give him some cheek about it tomorrow and he won’t be offered. And I will have some for Bella tomorrow.

Deliver