Today’s Lunch – 4th September 2019

Published September 4, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Well, Tuesday I went out on my scooter. Spring has sprung in Melbourne. So hellonwheels is out on the streets and I should mention, when scootering I have this soundtrack in my mind. It goes like this

Off to the dentist! Oh, how I hate the dentist, I do the reverse-planking. It’s when I am tense from head to toe and I feel like I’m being drowned. Handy hint. Put the suction tube between your lips and let it suck all the saliva free. I love having to tell them “If I’m drowning or not coping, I’ll raise my right hand” and they suggest using my left hand so I don’t get in their way, Mmmmmmm, no it will be my right.

Scootered home for a quick lunch and tops up on charge, drop some Oxy and then out again in the opposite direction for my next appointment, Electrolysis with my beautician. Haven’t had any for almost 3 years. Still can’t be a hairy single barren spinster. Had a bit of time in between as the beautician had an appointment.

Had this nice pecan tart and medicine at Taos’s in Thornbury. Mina the owner is so sweet, she cuts it up and sugars my coffee. She is the Greek Nona.

On my scooter home I stopped to take some snaps of street art, on the side of the Thornbury Telstra exchange.

Wednesday seems to have become my punchy, stabby and electrocute day. Chiropractor, acupuncture and physio.

Today’s offering is a beef burgundy pie, no salad, I feel terrible and medicine.

European Stare

Published September 2, 2019 by helentastic67

European Stare

There is likely a version of this in every country and culture, as is my style I prefer to describe a situation or scenario, so you can best imagine to which that I refer.

I had scheduled a time to call a friend, we are both busy. I often do this as it’s how I make sure things happen and my life works.

While I’m busy with my appointments, my ‘not-working’ and the voluntary stuff and the friend with her family and being a mum.

So, I rang her and after the bold statement that she felt ‘people didn’t call her because they think she’s OK, because she has a husband’.

Um, can you feel my eye rolls?

You all know I don’t have a husband?

The painful conversation continued and she was telling me about a toy they had purchased for their second child, said child was clearly in the background and correcting mum for calling said toy by its wrong name.

Can you feel my disinterest in said conversation?

This story come from about five years ago and I can’t believe how vividly I recall it. There seemed to be more conversation between mother and daughter than mother and Helen, so I cut the call short because it was giving me a migraine.

,

The following day I had a conversation with a friend in actual person. Said person comes from a Greek background and is as ‘Aussie’ as I am. She threw me a look of horror and surprise. I couldn’t help it, I smiled because we both know what she was going to say.

She said “Oh no! My daughter come up to me when I’m on the phone and they know not to bother me.” She went on to say the closer her children insisted on her attention the sterner the “look” would get.

My mum, who is not European, is from good Aussie/English/Irish stock, yet not first fleet.

Did not do European stare.

As a youngster, my mum spent a lot of time on the phone. No really, so long, if there is a world record for mum’s spending time on the phone it would have my mum’s name on it.

She did something different after stomping our feet and grumbling, doing the little grumpy dance (You know the one, lie you need to go to the bathroom and are waiting for permission) Didn’t need to, just painting a picture. I was young.

Mum can say to whomever she was speaking to “Can you just hang on a second?” as she put her hand over the mouth piece and said to you. “Can you go peel the potatoes” or maybe “Pick some carrots” or you know “feed the cat.” You knew, it was always something, seemed like busy work to me.

So, you either learned to leave her be and find something close to distract yourself, but you know she could talk. Now I use the European stare on her. It’s good for every time you need to communicate simple things and easy to add tone.

Helen’s Joke of the Week

Published August 30, 2019 by helentastic67

Helen’s Joke of the Week

Today as a very special one-off post!

As promised Wednesday because I was a hormonal mess! Proof that even on shitty/miserable days there is always a possibility of a joke/laugh/opportunity to go full wrong!

My neuropsych was at my dining table and I pointed to my liquor cabinet. I still don’t drink but I have to put the jars of cumquat brandy and the “cooking” rum somewhere. So, why not with my photos, I pointed to the cabinet and told my neuropsych, “I know it looks bad. It’s not a drinking problem, it’s a I can’t find a photo problem!”

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Just remember: neuropsych, not just for crazy people!

Have a great weekend! I’m going off grid!

Today’s Lunch – 28th August 2019

Published August 28, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch
Good Mental Health Day

It’s come around again! It’s that time of the month, when I am emotionally brittle and have my monthly migraine! Just as Mother Nature ordered! So help me GOD! (Sorry)

As I’m sliding into the Pause, Shark week doesn’t always happen, but it seems all the other symptoms come around like clockwork, right on time. I spend a day confused and over thinking the whole “I can’t afford to live past 65/I will never own my own home/Will I die alone surrounded by cats and half eaten by an Alsatian?/Grieving Original Helen/Finding my new identity” and this emotion lasts all day, only to be replaced by a stabbing eye-gouging pain behind my left eye(my version of a migraine these days!) and I struggle to find the motivation to move off my couch. Even though if I get through dinner, I am just a little closer to getting back to bed.

Alas, yesterday, being at home with appointments I made something num-num (tasty) lunch. Here is my panini-pressed light rye bread with salami, cherry tomatoes, marinated split green olives, marinated black kalamata olives and 4 different cheeses! Because, why wouldn’t you? Hello! A slice of tasty coon, Camembert (or as I call it: Bert!), Feta and a slice of Kraft Plastic cheese. Which reminds me of my childhood and it looked like this!

Note, how flattening it makes it so much easier to eat.

But one thing that has made me very, very happy lately is this!

You know those albums, where as soon as it ends your soul feels empty until you put it on again? And again! And again! Give it a listen. There is something in it for everyone…….it’s like a score that ebbs and flows.

Today I’ve got a full crazy day of chiropractor, then acupuncture, then physio and I guess today’s offering? So, punchy/stabby and electric-shocky! Guess I should do it on a full tummy! Today’s offering, Pancetta Quiche, my medicine and a complimentary Macaron.

Here’s Mika with her new friend. Mika and the Unicorn! Also, a great band name, si?

Cheers,
H
*Original Helen is every version of Helen before whatever this fucked up shit is?
I’ll have something more cheerful on Friday. Promise!

And hit Like!

Preston Markets

Published August 26, 2019 by helentastic67

Preston Markets

This is about my fifth blog post I’ve written in a sitting, over ninety minutes, so it might give you an idea of how the old filing cabinet that is my brain works and I haven’t had a day to sit and write for maybe a month, so I’m way behind.

But I just wanted to circle back briefly to my adventures to the Preston Markets on the Saturday mornings with the then boyfriend.

While I was working in the area, I would prefer to go after work on a Thursday or Friday night to get “just a few things” and carry them home on the train. Early evenings were really quiet and it was a nice way to finish the day after work.

However, as you might recall, going on a Saturday, I had a strict time schedule that I wanted/needed to go because and this is the main reason. I think the boyfriend did not like going and that is because he hated the ‘wogs’.

What? Shock horror! That sounds racist. However, he was not from Australia, he was from the States and he didn’t understand “wogs”.

Preston and other areas around Melbourne have a long history of wogs (Italian/Greeks etc) and while the ex was tall, he didn’t cope with the masses of Nona’s pushing their way in and around him and their shopping carts into him.

He would often let out a noise of displeasure in a fruit and veg stall and I would look over at him. A Nona had pushed her trolley into him as if he wasn’t there. He was just in their way and they didn’t much care.

He obviously just needed to give them the European stare. Yes!

Henry – Part 2

Published August 23, 2019 by helentastic67

Henry – Part 2

About twenty years ago, I lived in a house in Windsor or with my older sister in a street called Henry Street, hence the name. The landlady had left a plant in the bathroom which we were really surprised about.

We didn’t presume to imagine it was a gift so we watered it, kept it alive and when we vacated, left it in the place for whoever lived there next.

As previously mentioned, the Maiden Hair fern was the plant of choice in the 70’s and 80’s and if you could keep it alive (which I couldn’t) in the 90’s.

These days, the plant of choice in many homes and work places is the Peace Lilly. While living in Henry Street, our bathroom plant did so well, we split it and took half with us. Well, I did anyway. To this day, I have Henry with me. Well, I’ve got five pots of Peace Lilies.

I can even tell you which plant for a time lived in the backyard waiting for it to resurrect itself. The boyfriend of the time, kicked at the pot stating “that’s dead, we aren’t keeping that” I’m a wait and see type of gardener, he didn’t hang around long enough to see it return, but that’s his loss.

I often get told my plants are doing so well because they see the flowers.

I then have to tell them (and again not punchline) “I hate to tell you, but that is the plant saying Fuck, I’m dying. I better throw out some kids, so maybe they will survive.”

Again, they are also coming inside this winter. They definitely suffered outside last winter and managed to come back, but this winter I’m not putting them through it.

Today’s Lunch – 21st August, 2019

Published August 21, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

A few weeks ago my Girl Friday and I made a batch of rum balls. A great Aussie classic from the CWA-Lady era. (Country Women’s Association) My food prep carer is much younger, often being mistaken as my daughter. I taught her the only way to measure the rum for the recipe. Follow the recipe, then Oops! My hand slipped and if you recall I’m not really a drinker. I’ve since given away more rum balls than I’ve actually eaten and I’ve got a 500mL bottle now to use, so more rum balls to make.

Here’s a nice recipe to try…

https://www.womensweeklyfood.com.au/recipes/classic-rum-balls-1632

My recommendation is keep them small, about 2 bites each, best with coffee.

Also, an apology, I’ve had 400 emails I’ve just found in an inbox I didn’t know I had. I normally visit the blog of every new follower or at least any new Like I see and hit them with a Like or comment to let you know I’ve seen you. So, apologies, I’m catching up.

Was at my favourite cafe in Clifton Hill yesterday as I was in the hood seeing my GP.I had the bolognaise arancini with a side salad. Latte (My medicine!) with an escargot and more medicine!

I’m busy at a meeting today and have my lovely Girl-Friday doing some admin for me while I’m at it. Hump day is not close enough for me to the weekend. Seriously, are we there yet? Friday is going to be painful.

Cheers,

H

Henry – Part 1

Published August 19, 2019 by helentastic67

Henry Part 1

Once upon a time, many an Australian household had a plant in their bathroom. It was the envy of every person who didn’t have a green thumb. Because, they are notoriously difficult to keep alive and people who have one will love being complimented and they will always respond nonchalantly that ‘Oh, it’s nothing’. Like, whatever.

The plant can purely be in the right environment that has just the right amount of light, moisture, humidity or water or neglect.

Who knows, this is what mine looks like.

Not feeling smug at all. It’s definitely spending the cooler months inside this year, somewhere. Now this is a picture of a super amazing one. It’s what we all strive for.

I know, I still have not explained why this post is called Henry and that I don’t usually even use someone’s name.

So, I feel a Part 2 coming. That means you must now wait for my next post!

Judgement – Part 2

Published August 16, 2019 by helentastic67

Judgement – Part 2

On a more humorous front and when I do so call “Judgement” I do it with subtlety. This is a watch and learn teaching moment. But in reading form.

About ten years ago, I was on a train on a Saturday morning with my then boyfriend, going to Preston to the markets. Saturday morning’s I set the standard if we were going, we would have to be there by 10am and out of there by 11am.

After that time, it was pointless being there because it is full of bargain hunters who try to get that last-minute special. My plan is to get there, hit it hard, then get the hell out of there and get home.

When I do the market, it’s generally vegies, meat, fresh pasta, rice, nuts, passata, meat, coffee/fresh biscuits, deli olives, cheese, fresh bread and did I mention meat? If I don’t spend at least $100 and stock up my fridge and freezer, I’ve wasted my time. Remember, I’m making my Nona proud.

My boyfriend hated going because he couldn’t work out where everything was and he had the job of pushing the shopping trolley (which you could easily wheel it behind you on its two wheels) but he was a little too tall and because literally five minutes after we got there he would need to use the bathroom. He had the ‘bladder like a sieve’. I mentioned his sense of direction, I would walk behind him and call out directions like a military Sargent, “Left” or “Right” when it was necessary for him to change directions.

I always found it quite humorous although he obviously hated being micromanaged as men do. However, I used to make our adventures so he would cope better.

Usually I would have to convince the boyfriend to return to the Preston Markets, which we would generally go once a month and I did this by way of his pocket. As it’s the language that directly speaks to men. “We can go to the supermarket and spend $200 or we can go to the Market and spend only $100, so we would go to the markets.

I would go to the supermarket weekly to get the groceries and he would refund me. I digress, oh my God, went way out of left field on this on. Kinda feel like the judgement part” is the punch line.

On the train journey there, we went five or six stops from home in Clifton Hill at the time, we encountered all kinds of people. People going to work, people going home, people going home from clubbing the night before. The really seedy types who looked like they had slept in their clothes on a park bench in the city, who looked a little worse for wear for their efforts.

One morning, a guy in his 20’s walked down the train isle towards us, who fitted into the latter category. T-shirt (dirty), jeans (dirty), messy hair and runners. As he headed in our direction, I turned my head slightly towards my right (where my boyfriend was seated) and muttered “haircut and belt.” He had seen him coming, also and made a little noise.

See? Subtle! (bitchy, sure) but subtle. And not every bit of commentary is for public consumption.

Today’s Lunch – 14th August 2019

Published August 14, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Oh my God, is this week over yet!? I cancelled my osteo appointment Monday. It was cold and I needed a long weekend.

Yesterday, I had my follow-up with the sleep clinic. Not a sleep over just an update with the specialist. I checked in and went back out to get a coffee. Thought today I might give you a recap in photo form of my appointment yesterday? I don’t consider myself particular photogenic as I look in the mirror these days and think it is what it is. So, your welcome!

Me before coffee…

After medicine!

And before I get to today’s offering. You may recall, the lovely Caroline my masseuse has been in Italy. She’s been doing a little gardening while her husband has been doing some maintenance. I think it’s safe to say neither know how to do Holiday.

They are in Casole d’Elsa 11K from SAN Giminiano. South of Florence, north of Siena. And I’m quoting her directly, it is too crowded to go there this time of year. She took these photos just for me yesterday.