Moving Target

Published June 17, 2024 by helentastic67

Moving Target

I often use the term each day as a Moving Target and I use this in the context that every day is a moving target. By the end of each day, I need to be in less pain, be less tired by the end of the day, have chiseled things on my mental to do list. Have eaten three meals a day. This rarely happens, FYI, I’m ok if it’s two meals and a coffee. My day revolves more around getting sleep, getting to appointments and home again, plus meals or sustenance slots in around these things.

More importantly, I encounter less people I want to kill or deserve to be killed. Harsh words I know. Not advocating to be set loose with free rein here. Not killed anyone yet. Don’t intend to start, but I also limit myself around people and groups that piss me off. Also, the most important thing every day is to get through the day without a migraine. Can we do just that?

Everyday life seems to throw challenges in my face to make that nearly impossible and if I do these things in the earlier part of the day. What will I not be able to do later in the day? It’s always either/or never both.

Like the Good Old Days

Published June 10, 2024 by helentastic67

Like the Good Old Days

Sometimes, I think I should revisit the earlier days of HellOnWheels when life was full, as if it’s not now and I used to do a Hot Off the press post.

So, I guess this is reminiscent of those days. Monday, usually a quiet day at home but not always. Had a video chat with a new carer agency. Proof that every now and again the stuff set in concrete moves and you need to ride the waves of change to keep the boat upright. Is that a good analogy or what. Note, not a question.

Dropped off an old doona, its cover and some pants to an op shop on HellOnWheels, local adventure and went to a business to break a note and drop off some takeaway coffee cups that my carers keep insisting on bringing into my home. Then for the weirdest drug deal ever. You know I don’t do drugs and even in my club days didn’t. So, I think this topic deserves its own post. Went to physio after running into said Physio at the local business in question. Gave him some smack talk suggesting to lessen the imminent pain he was about to cause his patients, to have a nice chamomile tea. He didn’t.

Tuesday had an extra four-hour shift with one of my favourite carers. I know like parents with their kids, you don’t have favourites you just love them differently. When the two Helens get together, we get stuff done. We even did a little local adventure. A regular lady I am friendly with in my travels noticed a different face out with me and asked if she was my sister? Sure, why not?

Admin Day, things were started, booked and we did a little real estate searching. Because, why not? I don’t want to kill myself enough already. Don’t ever look at properties you’ve lived in years earlier and look at the sale history, you will want to kill yourself.

Wednesday, standard chiro. Gave her what’s the term for the – I moved my practice to its new home gift. Was going to go with flowers but they die. Settled on orange Toblerone. The really huge box, I got one for me too and it’s already promised as orange Toblerone mousse in mid-February when some friends come for dinner. They are bringing moussaka, I made lasagna last time and they brought a delicious selection of tiny cakes. Crowd pleaser. It’s a good way to do a dinner party these days. Delivered a bag of my old well-loved Adidas Gazelles I used to wear prior to life with an AFO, those were the days. Gotta run fast to catch the other Helen.

They will find new homes with young refugees who want to play sport. Likely connecting that carer with that locomotion to donate food that is normally disposed of in the bin. I love connecting my people with my other people. Then went to the toy shop I mentioned previously. This brings us to the end of Wednesday, basically.

January has become the time of year I do spring cleaning, carers, businesses I deal with, services I use, take time off. People with children have lives dictated by school holidays, etc. So, I do stuff. Onward

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I’ll catch up on some data entry, that alone is a never-ending battle.

Jokes and Things

Published June 3, 2024 by helentastic67

Jokes and Things

My family, two sisters, their partners and I have a group chat like many families do, currently the chat is thick and fast due to the process and impending deadline of emptying our father’s home to sell. Yeah, it’s that’s time already.

I’ve obviously not been there much at all and it’s a few hours away plus I don’t drive, if anyone was wondering? I knew my older sister was going to be there this week to arrange real estate, etc for selling, styling, emptying. Etc.

Just want to remind people, I found a home for the weird and prolific meerkats that were hidden around the living spaces. That was a feat, but I actually rehomed them to a young carer I had while I’d been there. OMG they made her so happy, well pleased.

Now that I think about it, I should have hidden one behind a bush in the garden as a momento to see if anyone noticed.

So, I digress, my sister’s long road trip and imminent arrival, she messaged that she could pick up coffees for my younger sister’s partner, then by extension, my younger sister as they have been living there and my sister was working from home this particular day as the internet and phones were down at her work. It’s context and necessary. Coffee orders settled, and there’s nothing like being excluded by not being included. I know I wasn’t there, but thought I’d humorously add my presence, I wrote “I’ll get my coffee!” You know when you know they won’t appreciate your humour. I added, “My carer just laughed!” Nothing! Just dead air!

It’s always worth a try right.

Inclusion

Published May 27, 2024 by helentastic67

Inclusion

There is a weird thing about disability that people are oblivious to. It’s always feeling like I’m undervalued, misunderstood and the weirdest thing is being excluded simply by not actively including me, or someone like me. It is not always about me.

But I’m aware I push in often to remind people of my very existence, not everyone feels confident to speak up or make their presence known or heard.

Then, there’s the other times I commentate when sharing an experience with others on how I’ve been treated. They don’t even need to ask, I tell them, “It’s what I want to say, but knew better?”

But there are even people, like family I don’t speak my mind to because I presume, based on previous experience they will be offended, it will go terribly, so I bury the pain deeper.

If All My Posts Could Be Titled Grumpy

Published May 20, 2024 by helentastic67

If All My Posts Could Be Titled Grumpy

Remember when I used to work with a grumpy ex-chef? I refer to him as”chef” or I should have. Well, occasionally, in random impromptu training sessions he would offer a scenario to the office a typical client scenario. But he would offer “Initials start with” then he would just pick someone in the office that was present and just use their name. Yes, Helen Caligiuri featured regularly. It was a moment to smile because I wasn’t in his bad books. But it was just an amusing way to throw someone under the bus.

The example I would give for an impromptu training session I once gave, was beconing all the Admin in to the front of my desk. I held up a very long and colourful police check and I asked, “should this client go to do their mutual obligation in a school or an aged care facility?” One woman looked at me with so much fear. She did not want to read the actual police check. Our clients had some colourful police checks. It is fair to say most would be license or loss of driving license or driving without a license related. Stupid but what’s the clientele coming through our doors 20 years ago one might expect?

It is also to say, a general rule of thumb Chef gave me was if a client was outside a primary school dealing drugs, you would not place them in a school to do their mutual obligation. No. God NO! That said, those were our locally born and bred young clients and then I had one Dickhead of a colleague! What? You think he’s reading my blog? Did I name and shame him? Initials or otherwise? Wish I could. He delivered me half-signed/half filled-in paperwork on my desk. It included a half-arsed police check.

I know this staff member was employed as the T.P.O. (Trading Placement Officer) however, while I was only an Admin he had not retained the wisdom of what I could legally enter on the government system with only half the forms filled in. And I was over it. Our Supervisor watched as I called the TPO over. I held up the paperwork and demanded. “What am I supposed to do with this?” Chef looked at me, not actively backing me but not telling me to step down. TPO asked “what?” He had no fucking idea. So, I explained to him his error in judgement. “I cannot lodge this!” Then I had to unpack why, “It’s not signed! Dated! Or completed!”

I suggested he put it on the government system, but I suspect he didn’t know how, not that he understood why he legally could not. Part of our admin process was that we “certified” that the original documents had been dated and signed. He told me to put them aside until Friday, two days later when they attended the office again to attend the Induction where we would normally officially place them on the system and therefore we would finally get PAID. What he failed to realise was that those clients fuck-all turned up two days later.

It has just occurred to me my current mental state might have me being too pissed off to politely complete this post but I think if half of you read next weeks post. My obvious attitude will be explained. Christ! I digress, where was I?

Those damn clients! If they turned up, I wouldn’t enter those documents because they were therefore out of date and I would need to have the clients complete new ones and then I would need to post-date their Induction timesheets and their start date. It’s a whole big fraudulent thing, yeah?

Just say yes!!!!!!

High Functioning

Published May 13, 2024 by helentastic67

High Functioning

I learnt in the early days I was considered a high functioning ABI, I live independently, I pay my own bills, I pay my rent, Blah. Blah. Blah.

The problem with being high functioning is when I am not at my best, like when I have a terrible migraine. No, not a headache, a migraine! People don’t realise what that means or how it brings my basic function level to zero. And the people round me, if they are the wrong people, don’t seem to help.

I learned recently that I can be “mean!” because a carer told me so. I realised all people with disabilities, if in pain and with someone that is actually not helping will get a dose of “MEAN!”

I can’t apologise for someone being unable to read the situation and being helpful. It’s when I can least micromanage someone.

Hellonwheels – Part 2

Published May 6, 2024 by helentastic67

Hellonwheels – Part 2

Don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but my mobility scooter runs on two batteries that sit directly under the seat I sit on. They are charged whenever my scooter is back in its shed. The Murder Shed! Remember?

Whenever I take her out on my local adventures when I return home, I like to scooter down to the basement to get a good run and I joke “Open her motor up!” It’s my version of a good freeway drive.

On one occasion when I was going up and out, I heard a motorbike starting down in the basement of the carpark. I thought I’ll just get up in front of it and open up, the boom gates, etc for whoever was coming up behind me.

As I came out the big gate to the street, the motorbike roaring from behind, a tram driver about to take over for his shift came to the garage entrance and started to do the racing car finale wrap up (you know, the salute?) Except, when he saw me on hellonwheels, he heard the motorbike which sounded pretty gutsy.

I stopped for a moment to say hello to the motorcyclist. Yeah, WE’RE FRIENDS NOW and I stopped for a moment to chat and share a laugh with the tram driver.

HellonWheels

Published April 29, 2024 by helentastic67

HellonWheels

You might have wondered why my last post saw me so fucking livid? I suggest that’s accurate and there is some context from that post relevant here.

Had a bit of a scooter out on hellonwheels today. It’s a Monday, often a stay-at-home day but stupidly, I booked my 5th Vax for Covid and out I went. I really enjoy going out on my scooter, my mind working overtime on all the things I need to write about, how freeing it is and how much I get to enjoy the independence my scooter brings me.

I stopped on my way home to chat to a new shop owner who looks to be the supplier of my next Messenger bag. So happy and I paused briefly at an intersection to make sure I did not get collected as I went around a weirdly parked tow-truck. It was to collect a small car with a two-initials brand logo, whose front end was a little dinted and the airbags had adequately deployed. Younger man standing sadly by the fence watching on with his hands in his pockets. I even stopped at the local post office to collect a parcel, the staff member seeing me coming came out from behind the counter to put my parcel in my hand. So, I could leave and the queue not so long. The woman in front of me looking questioning why I had been served first?

Scootered home checked letterbox. I can even do this while still seated on my scooter. Some fancy driving and reversing and turning enough to reach my keys from my bag on their elastic cord. Fang it around the corner, press the button on the fob in my pocket and while the garage door lifts, I reach back and remove my red flag to put in the back and I bob down a bit as I clear the gate. I normally fang it to the basement and back to my shed on B1 before putting her away stating I like to open her up a bit, the motor of course is not horses but electric, however it amuses everyone I’ve said this too.

However, seeing my scooter shed as I turned a corner, I was confronted by this!

Recall, I sent to my neighbour in my previous post how Chef would name and shame people? So, the above photos, I flicked a short but polite text to my neighbour. To my understanding she doesn’t live here anymore but her adult children do. But I spent several hours messaging her, my property manager etc, to remedy this insult. I was ignored by my neighbour. My property manager got onto the OC, the other tenants then a tow-truck company to remove the bike.

Gaslighting

Published April 22, 2024 by helentastic67

Gaslighting

Before recent years I never even knew what gaslighting was, I never saw the film, I did a few years ago go to see the Julia Roberts miniseries Gaslit. That was awful. But that’s the point.

So, it’s sometimes subtle, my appointments are moved or rescheduled without telling me or negotiations, emails sent very late in the day so the sender can put off my response and therefore their action or even how they contact me knowing perfectly well I have both a mobile number and a landline and when it’s best to use either and on a rare occasion I might be on email during the day and I can tell they are surprised when I respond in a timely manner.

I’m often doing my emails around midnight because that’s when I get all my other chores done and can sit with my iPad and give emails the time they require. So, a time lag is pretty common.

English as a First Language

Published April 14, 2024 by helentastic67

English As a First Language

Sometimes I question how lucky I am to have English as my first language and yes, it’s my only language however, I have a few Italian words, Greek even. Not the good ones, but the Italian ones are mostly all good ones, and even a few French ones.

So, I’m very conscious about how confusing my thoughts or words are when said out loud. How confusing they might be to people with a minimal grasp of English. But I mean spelling sometimes is a minefield.