Because HellOnWheels like myself takes prides on being a multi-faceted blogger, with plenty of different interests’ wisdom and knowledge in life, here’s a little advice from the carpenter’s daughter in me.
“Measure TWICE! CUT ONCE!”
You’re welcome.
Going for a bit of light humour because it makes things a little better on even our darkest of days. Except for this part.
For my dad Frank, may he Rest in Peace born 15th July 1948 – 5th October 2022.
My head understands but my heart and soul are breaking.
Have been trying to keep my head above water lately. Have been super emotional and brittle, the last week with crazy lady hormones and other things I can’t mention. I’ve apparently hit the Pause! (A common term for Menopause)
Many people would read this and argue that HellOnWheels is not about brain injury. I say, “Shut the Fuck Up Who asked you” (Note, not a question!). While I’ve had my AVM all my life and didn’t know until I was 34, the treatment I had was radiation that hit the AVM from all different directions. Who is to say the part of my brain that manages all my crazy lady hormones wasn’t hit also.
Note my very non-Doctor terms. I’m not trying to become a doctor, so I have actively tried not to learn correct medical terms for “brain”. So, I don’t know if my years on Dexamethasone (for brain swelling) messed with my hormones rather than stopping my cycle for years or just messed with them. Is there even a test for that?
I actually have a Crazy Lady Hormone Doctor. I usually put the word “Bitch” in there but have to be careful where I put it because my doctor is not the bitch the hormones are. She’s awesome! By the way.
Years ago, I started asking my GP questions to sort out my hormones. The CLBH (Crazy Lady Bitch Hormones) and after I went to this clinic and then that female GP, my GP asked how much money I was going to spend sorting this problem out? The women out there reading this will appreciate it, when I was of the mindset I wasn’t trying to have a baby before the “window closed!” But I did want to not feel like crap two weeks out of every four fucking weeks. With little to show for it some months when Aunt Irma came visiting, but I also wanted to only be hot in summer, or if I went for a drive in a car on a hot day (I’m referring to the HOT FLUSHES people!)
Seriously, ladies! You hear me on this? So, I’ve been dealing with that and all the other fucking things and not holding it all together very well. Also, I barely consider discussing these things with my GP of 15+ years anymore on account of him being a HIM.
So, this is a part of where I’m at right now. Here’s your subliminal message in this week’s post.
And like sands through the hourglass, another week gone by, you might recall I mentioned a subliminal message would appear in my posts. Yeah, you didn’t miss anything because I failed to mention to my lovely administrator and she edited them out. Seriously, the patience of a Saint has Noelle. Will not forget again
You might also have noticed I mentioned despite all the broken medical system everywhere, I have had two surgeries this year, I mentioned the recent surgery, this is me circling back to the previous surgery.
Late January, I had carpel tunnel surgery, for those of you that might be new to HellOnWheels, I’ve been one-handed since 2007, after the fall-out from the radiation treatment to my AVM (Arterial Venus Malformation) and after a disc-bulge surgery in 2011, with the loss in half my eyesight making my left-sided Hemiplegic all but complete, I had managed to get to fifteen years before living independently one-handed, caused my next surgery to be far more pressing. Part of being naturally right-handed meant I just got on with getting on with life. It may have taken longer, having teased my brain causing migraines. Getting my brain around peeling a carrot one-handed, but you work it out. Try doing that one-handed. That can be this week’s challenge. After years of having osteo, often weekly, the pain in my right palm overnight that would wake me and I would need to get up and shake out my whole arm to release the pressure, so my hand would stop hurting and feeling would return. It was time, before I had nerve damage, a recommendation from my Mum and a call made, I had my referral.
After suggesting I would beg, borrow or steal the dollars required for my surgery, an appointment was booked for not long after. I managed to borrow the money from the Dad Bank. Later paying him $50. Every month and texting him each month when I’d transferred to him.
The actual surgery was only possible because I had it done privately. In his rooms in South Melbourne. His wife providing the reception duties. I had hoped to go through the public system even going back to the country town I’m from and my surgeon was also from. But, time was rather important, not wanting to risking any nerve damage. The surgery was performed with two local anaesthetics, while I was awake. I confess, I had my eyes closed. He was working on my right hand after all and my peripheral vision on my right is definitely my sharpest and I could see him over my hand. The tool was like a knitting needle where a blade came out from inside to cut the tendon in the top of my hand, that he had diagnosed from performing an ultrasound before the surgery. The worsts parts was actually the injections. I always forgot how much they sting. I was wondering if I would swear, but alas I made us all proud; I did not. The surgery was completed in thirty minutes. I will cover this in a bit more detail in a future post, the unexpected and the embarrassing and numerous, but today I’m trying to keep it short and sweet. But while the carpel tunnel issues have been solved, I am noticing little twingy pains and niggles telling me it’s not the end of my right hand issues, this will not stop any time soon.
Hell onWheels/Life One Handed 