You Poor Thing

Published October 26, 2026 by helentastic67

You Poor Thing

I can’t tell how often over the years I’ve heard those words. This time it was last Thursday. I had been tramming home from my chiropractor’s appointment. My usual chiro has been away and I’ve been lucky to see another one I used to see thirteen years ago.

It was the first warm day of spring, I’ve a separate post to write to explain a weird thing in Melbourne called Fake Spring, hang in there for that. Meanwhile, it was the first day to wear shorts. Get out the Lilly white legs I sport. Short season means people will notice my calf-high AFO. (That’s my Ankle Foot Orthotic.) It and the Botox helps me lift my drop foot when I walk so I don’t trip over. People don’t seem to notice my cuff and collars on my left arm or my walking stick. They definitely won’t notice my Vision Australia badge stating “I have low vision”

So, “You poor thing” I get off the tram just past my home. I hold up my right arm to wave at the driver calling out a thank you. A man on his Harley stopped at the back of the tram. Elderly lady makes her comment. It’s usually delivered to me on warmer days. I lift a finger and point in the direction of my home. I’m nearly home I reassure her, with these words and continue. It’s just another fucking day really. Despite the tone this is not a pity post. It’s a Fuck You post.

I think my twice-yearly dose of CBF has set in hard. October is always crappy. It’s been four years since my father’s passing. I’m OK with this however, it’s the fracturing of my remaining family that sucks, I’ve been trying to make my dad proud. And considering I’ve been project managing several things right now that has not been easy. The wins have been few and far between and not nearly enough wins for the constant barraging of losses.

I got from fifty-three to fifty-four at the end of the month and it sucks every year. Oh, you’re still with me this is not a pity me post. Right now, I’m just trying to get through each day crossing off the items on the To-Do List. Next week, expect a more upbeat post despite the To-Do list not getting shorter. I just wish 2026 was over.

Let’s hope the upcoming deadlines passing will improve my mental state and in the New Year after catching up on blogging and the wrapping up of certain projects will allow some breathing space and future posts will context my current grumpy.

Oh, wait! Barrack Obama, yes that could be a thing. Yes please!

Working Appliances

Published April 20, 2026 by helentastic67

Working Appliances

I remember when I bought my forever home, I thought I had a dishwasher in it. I mean, I wasn’t buying a dishwasher with an apartment around it, some walls, a bathroom thrown in, a balcony, a view etcetera, etcetera. However, I thought the dishwasher actually worked. It did not.

It sounded like it was trying to finish a cycle. It made noise non-stop. Eventually, the MEPACS guy, turned it off inside the cupboard. Silence, God help me!

I had plumbers in, twice leading up to Christmas ’24 to fix said dishwasher. The second time, I said “If its fucked! Just call it!” I was suggesting “was the fat lady singing?” And the next thing my dad bought me for Christmas was a Miele dishwasher.

Again, not a paid advert, Miele was the dishwasher of choice with the cutlery drawer in the top. My uncle and aunt’s kitchen have one so I knew it was of the best quality. Shopping for a dishwasher taught me the most common issue with buying a new home is the dishwasher is usually fire trucked, sellers throw an old dishwasher in there just so it looks like it has one. It doesn’t mean it’s working or even plumbed in properly.

Christmas ’24 without a dishwasher was hard. I was doing some dishes one-handed to get ahead of my carers doing the things I couldn’t do.

Don’t worry, my gift from my dad had arrived before Christmas but it had sat like a giant paperweight in my study until after all the tradies returned to work in January. Despite paying for an install, I still had to get the plumbers back, then call Miele to reimburse the install fee I had paid and then pay the plumbers again.

Love you Dad, thank you Dad.

Honestly, if you wanted to scratch your eyes out just reading that post, I dream of conversations about the dishwasher when needing to sort the scooter replacement and storage. The whole scooter replacement and storage issue makes me want to kill myself. Unless that is the plan? Well played.

Who is old enough to remember a great joke from the 90’s about Lawyers

Published August 25, 2025 by helentastic67

Who is old enough to remember a great joke from the 90’s about Lawyers

Joke goes like this “What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”

Answer: A bloody good start.

I offer you the modern version. “What do you call 100 real estate agents at the bottom of the ocean?”

Think you have this from here?

What kind of scumbag sells a forever home to someone who has disabilities advising them falsely on how easy they can access things like I don’t know, a car space, power to a mobility scooter and not tell them of impending costs and increase in fees?

Did I mention we are up for a new lift in 2026? Annoyingly, the lift has been a major annoyance this year, often being out of action for days, sometimes only hours. One particular Friday, I left to go shopping and my phone blew up as the building group chat had so many messages about the lift being out. I had to right leg it up the stairs upon returning from shopping with a carer on her first day with me.

A few strangers, neighbours in the building had come out to help carry my shopping upstairs and for that I was very grateful, but alas, being in a building with only one lift was something that was an afterthought, in the end once I found the right location, number of bedrooms and within a budget, I could cope with.

Thanks dad! Love you, Dad. Don’t hate me because my father loved me.

Crisis

Published June 2, 2025 by helentastic67

Crisis

And here we are again, sitting with the intention to smash out my next batch of blog posts, to catch up on all the things. With the best of intentions I’ll see how this goes?

The best meme I’ve seen at the end of January 2025 stated, “This month was a long year!” and I whole heartedly agree.

That is to say by the end of 2024, it was a bit of a shitstorm. About a month and a half, ending in late November I was in absolute crisis. I’m relieved to say I rarely have had to resort to that particular word but it’s accurate.

You see, late last year, I moved my home. Well, just me and the contents. Not far at all as the crow flies, but packing up after seven comfortable years of more affordable rent the earth shifted and I relocated to my forever home.

The lead up to which, as much as I’d tried to have everything sorted and come together resulted in me not having the much needed funding, the extra carers and the so called promised help on the day. I’ve only just found the accurate word for how the big day moving was.

The following week after the trucks came, I had two Little Red Trucks (I only use them) and four people. They spent seven hours relocating me this one last time.

I have moved lots in my life. Plenty of times in my twenties, four times now since my disability and I’ve taken to making the statement, “I’M NEVER MOVING AGAIN! I’M GOING FROM HERE TO THE GRAVE! OK, I’M GOING FROM HERE TO THE FURNACE! WHAT! TOO MORBID? YES, I’M GOING TO BE CREMATED!”

When telling people about my new Forever Home, I’ve hinted at several things until I’m asked, “How much is the rent?” I smile just a little and shake my head in the negative. I’m never paying rent again. Quickly followed by “Don’t hate me because my father loved me!” Next.

Dad’s Anniversary

Published October 30, 2023 by helentastic67

Dads Anniversary

So, I guess this is the continued.

It’s also just recently been the anniversary of my father’s passing. I know, it’s been a year already. A friend said she would have said six months. But a year. Exactly.

And it’s shit to be sad about the likelihood of being alone on my birthday, sad my father’s passing when there is a war in Ukraine. Still.

The most hated football team in Australian Rules Football win the grand final this year and the No-res, won the referendum the last weekend in Australia which was to finally recognise the First Nations people in our Constitution. It’s a fucking travesty. We might be the last country to do this.

Now I feel I need to unpack each of these things. And FUCK! ISRAEL! think I can unpack that or Ukraine to be honest. Humans are just awful right.

To be continued, again.

Who Names These Coffee Varieties

Published March 20, 2023 by helentastic67

Who Names These Coffee Varieties

A recent trip to a coffee roaster saw us answering the questions about what kind of coffee is drunk in the household?

Just imagine I’m the latte drinker. Yes, my favourite meme for this is, “Latte is Italian for: you paid too much for that coffee!”

I described and created the coffee roast “I drank too much Sake last night!” Speaking for a friend. Poor young sales assistant looked at me questioning. Did you read the above? I drink latte and I was THERE!

Note! I’ve not thrown anyone specifically under the bus here, but this relates to the time around my father’s passing, she says diplomatically.

Grief and Humour – Part 2

Published February 27, 2023 by helentastic67

Grief and Humour – Part 2

So, while dealing with this whole grief thing I’m reminded of times I’ve seen women in the supermarket, they stop and seem to pause for a moment and a hand goes up to their heart and for a brief moment it looks like they just received some devastating news. I have been moved to ask if they are alright? And they pause and then they seem OK again and they reply as much and the day goes on.

Last Saturday I was attempting to get a loaf of rye bread carefully transported via a friend across town, delivered on the Friday, into my fridge freezer. My carer had suggested she could do this. But my first world problem in recent years has been a problem getting things into my fridge freezer.

Full disclosure, I also have a bar fridge size freezer and that’s full too. My carer has recently suggested I could live out of my freezers for six weeks without going shopping, but I’d eat a lot of chilli con carne, ice cream and stews, what a way to go.

So, there I am, fridge-freezer door open. My carer waits behind the door in the kitchen as I shuffled, to get the portioned bread into every nook and cranny, I talked as I worked telling her amusing little tidbits from my day, life, anecdotes of my life with my dad. Don’t recall now, even what I was telling her about, but every few sentences I paused, couldn’t speak. Wanted to burst into tears, but needed more importantly to finish my witty stories. I kept it together. My carer had told me I didn’t need to keep telling her whatever it had been I was telling her, but I finished both my stories and the task of getting all the bread in the freezer for safe keeping. Before I successfully closed the freezer door, I announced to my carer a little sadly. “I’m not leaving the door open because I don’t want you to see me cry” as I closed the door.

I just want to point out this is a hard job being ONE-HANDED! Just try it sometime. I offered my carer to open the door again and bathe in the brilliance that I had managed to achieve and she stated if she opened it again everything would fall out. I told her it would then be her job to get it all back in before she left.

So, I opened the door to show off my brilliant Jenga technique, from behind me the woman FUCKING SNEEZED.

And twos things fell out and we laughed.

You still get to laugh sometimes…..it’s just sweeter.

Understanding

Published February 13, 2023 by helentastic67

Understanding

Some people might not understand why I’ve been sharing all the stuff about my father’s recent passing and partly, because it’s happening and it’s something we all go through, the passing of a loved one, family, parent, friend, whoever.

However, I’m also dealing with that on top of already dealing with my brain injury. Sometimes, people dealing or not dealing with how they are coping or not coping, I’m doing that too. On top of already dealing with my disability.

It might be 15 years since my disability happened but new things on top of that is like the first day of having my disability all over again. The disability stuff does NOT GO AWAY or TAKE a BREAK! Even something new comes along.

It is ON TOP OF…

Stuff to Avoid, While Grieving Dad

Published February 5, 2023 by helentastic67

Stuff to Avoid While Grieving Dad

So, try to get the humour in this post! Just try, yeah.

Cannot watch shows where happy couples are having tender moments with their newborn babies! WTF!

Can’t watch scenes of women being walked down the aisle. Who’s going to walk me down the aisle now? What? It might still happen.

Can’t even type these words, so it would appear! Fuck! Sad now!

Life Without My Dad

Published October 17, 2022 by helentastic67

Life Without My Dad

So, writing with an upbeat tone is not going to be easy today. Went clothes shopping last Friday for something Funeral Appropriate and disability friendly. My dad’s funeral is this Friday. I’m revisiting my question to self of “How much snot is in one’s body at any given time?” I did ask Google who was NO HELP!

I’ve ended my day of shopping with a men’s jacket to wear over my standard black pants and the goal to not look like Hannah Gadsby. No offence.

My father had a very quick illness that did not allow me sufficient time to prioritise to drop everything and go see him. He had started treatment but was truly not going to win this war. He had previously beaten bowel cancer and bladder cancer, a heart attack during all the lockdowns in Melbourne.

Despite knowing he is at peace; my heart and soul are weeping. The world seems a little like something is missing if you know what I mean? And I’ve yet to write my contribution to his funeral. I’m not going to be able to read it myself.