Society

Published August 9, 2019 by helentastic67

Society

Today, my carer told me the most ridiculous thing in the world, I have possible ever heard. This particular carer who will be reading this when it goes live (Yes, I’m talking about you).

A young lady (it’s a loose term, but let’s go with it) cut her hand off to avoid having a job and work. I flicked a demanding look at this carer and gave her a “What the fuck” there’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Apparently, the parents took her to hospital and they were able to re-attach it and with rehab she can use that hand.

I then suggested she could have cut off some fingers (not her whole hand) or some toes and she might qualify for a Disability and get a free pass from work. My carer and I laughed at this suggestion.

I then finished with, if she was one-handed, she would work, everyday for her God-Damned Life.

I’m sure that is enough to make on this point and for my older more mature followers who are still (I hope) reading at this point completely get that the real lesson here is how society is going to hell in a hand basket, if the younger generation think they need to avoid working by doing something so drastic.

Being the age, I am and despite having a brain injury, all of my life I have a good work history. Ok, ‘good’ might be exaggerating it a little, but I don’t know how to sit still and not contribute to the world somehow.

Apartment Living

Published May 27, 2019 by helentastic67

Apartment Living

It’s noisy, but quiet, it’s a very odd contradiction, so I shall need to explain. When I moved into my apartment (I rent) over a year ago, I was concerned about if it would be noisy or smelly or if I would never see my neighbours.

Once you are inside your apartment, you can’t really hear loud TV’s or dogs barking or loud thumping music from your neighbours. Once you close the heavy front door, you don’t hear anything from your neighbours. I sometimes hear people race past my front door to get to theirs or heading to the lift.

Sometimes if I’m heading to the lift and hear a door slam behind me, I’ll hold the lift door for anyone behind me. Then we proceed to have a brief awkward conversation about good timing and never seeing anyone else. So, yes I rarely see anybody from my floor.

I’m in an apartment block on a very busy corner. There is a main street where at my corner it forks off in a slightly north/eastern direction on the tram line and at the middle of the ‘bits’ (not sure how to best describe this) there is a pub. Across the street are more apartments. In my block, we are six storeys and across the street they are even higher.

The noise from the traffic, the trams, the pub. It’s ridiculous, the cars and motorcycles, the service vehicles, I can’t tell anymore, is it an ambulance, police car? I hear several of those every day.

One morning my carer arrived after I’d woken early and attempted to get back to sleep. An alarm of some kind had started and been going for about twenty minutes. My carer was with me for about ninety minutes. You tune it out after a while and the silence between seem to get a little longer and we looked at each other. Hopeful? Did it stop? No! Damn it!

I heard noises before, but never been able to workout where it was coming from or what it was to alert us to. I presume it was the apartment building across the street. I don’t know what it’s to alert or for what. If I could call someone, I wold but who would that be? If that person knew already, why weren’t they doing something about it?

My carer left and ten minutes later after a migraine had set in and taken hold, it stopped. Posing the question, WHY? And of course, can it stop?

Tears

Published April 22, 2019 by helentastic67

Tears

There are sometimes these days when I have a superpower, I never knew I had. I can make my carers cry. What? I know, it’s not on purpose.

It’s often the best conversations with my carers about all things ‘Helen’ (for want of a better term) the things that have moulded me and made me the person I am today.

This particular day, I told my carer about what it was like in the early 80’s in my family after the death of my fifteen-month-old sister.

She had been born on my eighth birthday and for fifteen months I helped bath her, change nappies, do “mum stuff” and we had one birthday together where we had an Ice Cream cake and we were both sick. We have a photo to commemorate the day. Very understated and in the last month of her life, she was taken to the local hospital in the country town where I grew up. The doctors, I believe misdiagnosed her, but by this stage she had already likely had a stroke. She was flown to Melbourne and within a (hear me flown to Melbourne.) month she was gone. My parents had to make the decision to turn off her life support.

I recall a family visiting us and the father distinctly placed a dining chair in a location, so he could sit with his back to a photo of Linda (that was her name) so he couldn’t see it.

There is an assumption when a child dies, that you should rid your home of all the photos and things that remind you of them, almost as if they had never existed, which seems wrong.

To be clear Linda died from a huge tumor.

After a while, because family and friends just didn’t know how to help or were just too sad, they just decided to stay away.

From nine years old, for a good few years, life was really lonely. I then told my carer a story of a friend of mine in the ABI community who passed away about six years ago.

I had to stop going to the place I would see him, because when my taxi arrived, I would be crying silent tears and the poor driver would not know what to do (poor bastard). I had to stop going, but whenever I return for a rare one off gathering, I sat somewhere I cannot dart my eyes towards the picture of him. I used to get through our gatherings always casting a look in his direction and we seemed communicate so much with our eyes. Anyway, more of him another day as I can feel the tears.

So yes! My superpower is I can make people cry, but it’s usually when my voice breaks a little and in crying.

Next time I want a better super power. Feel free to comment below as to what your super power is or would want it to be.

No cliché, X-ray vision or invisibility please.

Grumble for Help

Published April 1, 2019 by helentastic67

Grumble for help

It is often a challenge for people to know when to offer help to someone with a disability and when to politely want to be asked. Ironically, I often am asked by people if they should ask at all. I am fiercely independent and I recently had a conversation on this exact same topic with my carer, whom I go out shopping with and do my only food preparation days with.

Do You Need Help

We agreed, I will attempt everything first, I might give out noisy, grumpy sounds as I struggle and when I swear a little, it’s probably still okay. But if I sound frustrated, that’s when she knows to offer assistance.

When to offer help

That’s also what I love about this particular carer.

Love carer

Letters

Published March 8, 2019 by helentastic67

Letters

On an occasion I require someone I trust to read a document or letter, I can’t, I think you all realise I’m not an idiot, this is not why I need someone to help me in this way. Reading anything longer than part of a recipe has the ability to give me a migraine and somethings are just not in simple English.

Not an idiot

Recently, I entrusted a carer to read a letter attached to a Visa statement. Because I don’t have regular scheduled visits from my mum (the only member of the Team Helen) and the time I’m lucky to get from busy friends we spend on more of the ‘fun things’ I asked a carer to read the letter attached to the Visa Statement.

Read my statement

Firstly, I suggested for her to not look at the actual statement, I reassured her I didn’t have a ridiculously high limit on my card and I had a low interest rate. We had previously discussed what it cost me every month in interest charges and when I stated how low they were, I had to mention how little an interest rate you can get, if you are prepared to change cards (my previous account I could quote the digits without looking at the card). Sadly, it went as well as the 18% interest rate for something more affordable.

Don't read the statement

I digress, she started to look at it and ask if I wanted her to read it to me? I told her no and paraphrasing it to me would be fine. I really wanted to know the dot points, if I don’t pay the full balance by tomorrow, will they kill my whole family. Because I’ve had it sitting on my desk for weeks. A month has passed and the family is all still with us and so is my Visa and the next statement has arrived, more damn reading.

Life One Handed – Part 1

Published February 1, 2019 by helentastic67

lifeonehanded1

Life One Handed Part 1

On a very rare occasion a person carer will have her hands full and doing something to help me with ‘whatever’ and they will say to me “I had the experience of what it must be for you one handed”.

experienceonehanded

Sometimes, it’s not even a comment but a shared look and I will give them a murmur of aging with them and respond “Sucks doesn’t it”

Sucks Doesn't it

Because while they have that brief shared experience with me, I live it every single day. There is no ‘freeing up a hand, there is no break or holiday’

livingwithit

It’s all the friggin time. Ad nauseum.

adnauseum

I guess I should point out it is even more frustrating watching someone struggle to do something with two hands, that I can do very easily with on one hand.

Struggling with 2 hands

I had a young carer once who I gave the task to go hang out some bath mats on the line and on a clothes rack. I gave her the small clothes rack and she commented how much she hated them.

clothesrack

I waited a moment to witness her hold one rail in a hand and fling it around a bit. I don’t know what she was expecting to happen, but she seemed to be having a very hard time. Like she was having a fit. No, really!

I walked away because I couldn’t just stand and watch. I also had to let her wear herself out. Because, I also needed to use “words” to describe to her how to do it.

nowords1

In the end she got there, but it seriously would have been easier had she given it back to me to do. I’m not saying it was the nail in the coffin for that carer to not return to me, it wasn’t, but it didn’t help.

nailinthecoffin

So great was my frustration.

frustraion

Cheeky

Published August 3, 2018 by helentastic67

Cheeky

Now, I like to imagine by now, you are fully aware I am a bit cheeky. I can’t be my usually cheeky self around family, because they don’t get it. Weird right? But I’ve got a new carer who takes me shopping and she has worked out very quickly how ‘fresh’ she can be with me, which is good.

Family weird

We have been doing a little driving to locations, I can get to certain things without adding to the chaos and me having to carry things.

So, last Friday, after driving to a Health Food shop where I get some of my ‘good pills’ which I get in bulk, so they are cheaper. We drove to a neighbouring suburb to the Petshop. This pet shop has a cat that requires re-homing, there might be a kitten, bunnies, fish. Yeah! That kind of pet shop.

Pet shop

We pulled up in a car park on the street and when my carer was ready to disembark, she came out with a command.

“GET OUT”

Get out

To be fair, I wasn’t expecting it, but after a snort, I burst out laughing and so did she.

Burst out Laughing

To be fair, it is always good to have a laugh when out with my carers because people don’t just see me as someone with a disability. People see me out with my ‘girlfriends’ laughing. Sharing stories and wit and people then don’t notice my disability. However, some carers don’t realise if they think they can out do me with wit, they are mistaken.

Hanging out with friends

All I have to do is stand still and let out a screech.

“STOP IT”

And then

“YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

And people might come to my aid.

Hurt me

New Year

Published March 16, 2018 by helentastic67

New Year

I know you can’t tell because it’s probably July or August. Just a guess, in reality and certainly in my world it’s January 4^th, yes.

The crazy life, that is Helen begun. Went to bed early last night, OK, technically 1am, so whatever.

Jamima, lord love her, pestered me all night. Her nose and whiskers on my face, walking all over me not sure where to settle, scratching at my covers, the licks and fang-like bites = Pest.

Sitting on face

Also equals not nearly enough sleep. Woke at 6am and pressed the Mepacs Alarm so someone, somewhere knew I’d made it through the night, barely but I did, still qualifies.

Wake up early

My carer Miss Tina arrived before 10am and I fell into the wall when I got up. Definitely not a good sign.

Washed my hair today, even though it’s not a normal day to do so. It’s going to be hot today. Wet hair will help me stay cooler. Had a light breakfast and by 12pm I went back to bed for a 25-minute power-nap. Jamima came to me straight away. I could practically hear her say. “Hey, what are you doing?”

Wash hair

I confess I growled for her to leave me alone. Slept like the dead, scrambled up, got shoes on, brushed teeth etc and got on my bike.

OK, got on Hell on Wheels and full speed ahead to my parking spot at my last appointment.

Hellonwheels

On the way, encountered a young man (child, whatever) trying to drag his dog off the High Street around the corner. The dog was trying to ‘do’ something. I slowed down enough to tell him “I hope you’re going to pick that up!” Because I could tell he had no intention of doing so.

Dog poop

He muttered something to do with my mouth. I didn’t hear but he’s lucky I was running late for my pick-up.

Had the ‘Go-Slow’ all the way. Where people are just dawdling along, taking their sweet-ass time, chatting on the phones, I had a text beeping and reminding me it was neglected, but I went knowing full well it was Young John. I was late.

I parked at the Acupuncturist, managing not to smash my head into the pole at the front. (Because I don’t see it!) Took my flag inside so it wouldn’t get stolen. Make joke to have fun with the flag in my absence. You heard me.

Need walking stick today, can’t text, too many distractions around. Walk to the designated location and see Young John is waiting for me.

Getting into taxi

Felt like a Princess as I just walked right up to the taxi, opened the door and got in. He was on the phone to one of his taxi driver buddies on speaker.

Feel like a princess

Young John spent the weekend in hospital as he had a nasty infection that required surgery and had started to go septic.

Lift to my favourite café, it’s closed until Mid-January. Damn it! But really, it’s the only time they close, find alternative.

Coffee and huge Rumball – lunch. Rumball sub-standard, sad.

Don’t people know how to make a rumball? They should not be the size of a golf ball, for starters, but onward.

Rum balls

It’s now 2pm, time to hustle to Chiropractors.

“I’m well adjusted!” Yeah, she chants…

Short walk, short tram ride. Some serious texting, another short walk. Get stabbed – eight times.

OK otherwise known as Acupuncture. Made a call (I was in a separate room today) to register my ongoing interest in a Community Housing waitlist. Took four of my own needles out as I needed to pee. Not the first time.

Acupunture

Scooter ride home past the scene of the earlier crime.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to be wrong. He did not clean up after his dog.

Stopped down the street to chat to Matt who is building the apartments. His son 21, who has Autism was also there and his carer.

Building site

Brief stop at landlords to chat to their grandkids, “What did Santa bring?” And home around 6pm. Bring in washing and water the back garden.

Now inside…

Arrive home

Jealous

Published December 7, 2017 by helentastic67

Jealous 2

Jealous

Crazy day today well, okay, yesterday officially. I still run on a Nightclub clock. It’s not the next day until you have had sleep. Even if the sun has come up. Technically it’s after 1am on Friday morning, but anyway.

Friday

Yesterday I had a Carer, it was a day I don’t normally get one, but I had more stuff to do. The fourth day in row and the last three with a migraine. The kind to make me really seedy, but not cripple me enough to keep me from going to the things I’d prefer to be left out of.

My Carer today, one of my regulars didn’t turn up until 11am. I’d gotten up earlier, put on a load of washing and gone back to bed. My Carer apparently wake at 6.30am and lay in bed considering the possible excuses to not get up and go to work.

Getting out of bed

Then she remembered she had me, so she got up. By the time she got to me, she had already given six others a shower. While helping me to dry and dress, she made another confession. When she pulled up outside, she noticed the blinds on the windows here, still down. Her first thought was;

Getting out of bed 1

“That fucking bitch is still in bed!”

I cannot tell you how much I laughed.

Laughing girls

She laughed too, just so you know.

It’s rough when they have all the things you don’t and yet the simplest things can make them envious.

weekend

Hot off the Press – 4th September 2017

Published September 4, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press 0409

This week! Less chaos! Let’s go for that!

Monday, happy I got shrunk! (My fond term for seeing my psychologist!) this good humour doesn’t just come naturally you know……….

A few months back, Melbourne suffered the same fate as many cities around the world.
For security purposes big concrete bollards were put in strategic locations for our protection.
Initially, there was outrage. But in true Melbourne style. We made Art! Thankfully, the Yarn-bombing didn’t last. I do not get it…….

The powers that be were attempting to discourage rope from being creative because the bollards were only hired and would need to go back.

Back where, I ask?

So, this is Melbourne’s answer to ugly things placed in our city for our safety. Yes, it’s Lego! Yes, a tourist photobombed my photo opportunity and yes, sometimes we seem to have way too much time on our hands. But c’mon, this is Melbourne. We love our coffee, our art and our freedom to live and be safe.

Finally got to get to the Arts Centre in the city to see my friends instillation of Handstands…….
Witches Hat

This is what Melbournians refer to as the Witches Hat! Originally it was meant to be much taller. But it’s an Icon all the same.
Handstand

Stop on the way home to post my dad his Father’s Day gift. Found a woman’s car keys and reunited her with them before she got too far. I love that when I held out my hand with her keys, all she could do was mouth out the words “thank you!” She wouldn’t have gotten far but no one likes that moment of panicking. All is right in the world.

Migraine meant an afternoon kip. I always prefer a kip than drugs to fix my migraine……..and my Wednesday trip to my Chiro.

Tuesday. No appointments out of the house. Two-hour meeting with my Case Manager then some serious never-ending admin.

Finally got to the GOT finale………
I don’t do Plot spoilers but when I give a little commentary they will not mean anything to people unfamiliar with the show but to those who watch it they will have a little smile and know exactly what I’m hinting at. Then if you do decide to watch it, you might be tempted to further understand what I’m going on about……

Game of thrones 1

“That Pie chic could go into hospitality with a difference”. (because I can never remember that character’s name). Followed by “Wolfe!” And then there was 2!

That’s it! A friend mentioned the naked chests, bare bottoms, sex and the occasional incest to which I ask “Define occasional?” And finally, Snow turned to Sand! And sadly, that is it for another season……..

Game of thrones

Have I mentioned I am not a patient woman?

Wednesday, you hopefully read my Wednesday foodie mental health day post? So, the food part is covered. Standard Chiro, and acupuncture then a visit with Bella. Very happy. Dropped into see Wilbur at the newsagents but he doesn’t go to work on Wednesdays! What the? Wilbur is a cat that is in residence at a newsagent in my suburb. He sleeps on a cushion on the counter and was hand raised from only 2 weeks old so they took him to work to feed him throughout the day. He languishes on the counter top or the chair behind the counter. Happily, Monday the shop keeper lifted Wilbur up onto the counter for me to give him a pat. He seems very content for complete strangers to try to be friends. So happy!

Wilbur

Thursday, what a roller coaster. While sitting on the couch in the lounge with the backdoor open, I heard a questioning meow from the kitchen. (Weird right since I don’t have a cat right now!) I gave a friendly hello and decided against getting up to investigate. It’s not the first time a cat has come all the way into my home uninvited since Jamima went to God in March. I later ventured to the kitchen to discover said cat had left me a nasty smell. (Damn it!)

Thursday
Had a nice visit from Aunty Christine for a little snack and coffee. My lunch, her afternoon tea. It’s nice to catch up on the girls I used to have here. Unfortunately, I learnt I had offended one of the girls and was heartbroken to learn we were no longer friends. Spent the rest of the day feeling sick and light-hearted. It seems I can have a case of foot and mouth disease and am not given the benefit of the doubt enough to even discuss it with me. Just sad.

Foot and mouth

Friday’s are becoming very strange days. I’m getting into a habit of eating lunch at a reasonably lunch-ish time on account of my Carer not arriving for my second shift until 2pm! Making me pose the question, Is the world off its axis? Seem to be back enjoying my time with a Carer on the Friday, despite being 20 years younger than me(constant moments of were you even born back then moments?) but a very similar humour and quick wit!

Coffee

Stocked up on medicine(coffee) and even dropped my spring doona cover to the dry cleaners to get pressed.

Happy Spring by the way!

Spring

First of September, my peach tree is still yet to blossom but guaranteed to share a photo ASAP. Was close to the newsagents where Wilbur languishes his day away on the counter so got a drop-in visit. I’m really appreciating the neighbourhood cats. Not the black and white number that thinks he can spray my territory. Maybe it will get me through until I can relocate and get my next fur-baby.

Took the time to call my Pa as my home town made the news (for all the wrong reasons) the nursing home down the road from my father has had 7 fatalities from the Flu. Awful, isn’t it! I understand it’s common practice for the residents in nursing homes to be quarantined in their rooms when a flu epidemic hits. Meal times reduced to meals served with plastic cutlery. Very ordinary. FYI; Jack, my grandfather built that nursing home in my home town.

Wangaratta

My father was rather unsympathetic to my plight of not finding anything suitable or affordable to call my new home. I don’t bother unpacking everything because he just doesn’t get the big picture. He even suggested I move somewhere for a year until I can find something else that’s better. Because I’m really not wanting to move twice. All the relocating drama! Changing all my details, unpacking, repacking, changing addresses, changing my home phone number. Hell no!

Moving house
The day ended with a meal in my slow cooker, dinner in the oven and a quiet weekend of binging TV ahead. If all goes to plan.

Saturday and Sunday very lazy as I always hope. Real Melbourne spring weather has set in. Rain, wind and Chinese laundry in my lounge room and my desire to not leave the house.

Call me crazy, but I think I’m having another long weekend. Five Joss Whedon comics moved around my home. I’m currently reading season 9 of Buffy! (as in the Vampire Slayer) yeah, and people thought it ended before that, but no it continued in comic form. Happy days for all!
Now, for another crazy week in the life of Hellonwheels.

Cheers,
H

Crazy week ahead