Analogies

Published April 21, 2025 by helentastic67

Analogies

My brain is very busy with analogy’s today, it’s either a good or a terrible day to blog. So, we will see how it goes. You probably want an analogy now? You can wait.

I present really well for someone who’s had a brain injury for fifty-two-years. My carers tell me this all the time, because we discuss that in person, people are oblivious to what’s going on behind the scenes. But, in reality what’s going on up “there” feels like a bag of rattlesnakes. Thats 1 (Analogy delivered!)

I wonder if people realise there are days up “there” is like having five people with ABI’s, five people with depression or anxiety and five people on the spectrum in a room. Shaken and stirred, rather like the rattle snakes in a bag, right? And I suggest, within a few hours the room above will look like some kind of mass casualty has occurred. Think blood, trauma. Mass casualties, I realise, for many this is going way too far. But I’m making a point.

Up “there!” in my brain, there is so much chaos. Just anarchy, and I know it’s happening.
I just can’t stop it. It’s so busy I just try to get through the tasks as best as possible leaving as few people scathed as possible.

This is why people like me spend a lot of time self-isolating. It’s why we coped (apparently) better during the quarantining during Covid. It’s also, why we noticed how other people didn’t cope well during Covid. When I isolate too much, then when I do go out my brain is like “Oh my God! Look at all the thongs, the food, the people.

There are a people. What do you do? What are you peopling? Can I people with you? Let’s people together. Yes, we can.

Now, that is clearly an example. But we saw it a lot during the plague. Walking past chemists where I’d see a person behind the counter getting peopling, full blast by a customer out being around people for the first time in days. The staff members eyes flick out to notice if anybody out there that could save them. Is this even really happening? Am I the only one seeing this right now? Can somebody help me? And all of that is happening up there and on the outside, its Calm! Calm! Calm!

Everybody act calm and then, I think this is why I gift people treats a lot. It’s a reward, sure. But it’s my way of saying, you put up with my “Crazy!”

Later, I may stay away for a bit, so you miss me. Because you nipped at me and hurt my feelings. I try to bring a little funny, a little sass to everyone every day. But sometimes, others have too much owing on and it falls short. But this is why when I hand over a little love, I mean it.

Inconsistency

Published November 9, 2022 by helentastic67

Inconsistency

Wow, anyone noticed lately I’ve been a little less than consistent? Yeah, I really don’t like being inconsistent. I’m actually always found ways to have routine, even when I did not have study or a full-time job, I built things and life into a routine. Maybe building this and consistency made it easy to keep my AVM be unnoticed for so long. Maybe it’s how I coped. Or the signs of it, I don’t know, it’s a working theory.

So, if you have been following, you know there has been chaos, emotional trauma and grief and my normal routine has been thrown out of whack.

Two brief visits to the country have meant returning home I’ve needed a week just to catch back up on the normal. People assume having carers is set and forget but it requires ongoing maintenance. Having events out of the norm means shuffling, more intensive organising stuff, Admin, housekeeping. It all starts to back up on me. Mail, letters that require action grows, phone calls, emails, new groups plus Zooming.

In times of stress, I’ve always needed more sleep and every now and again I get a migraine where I just can’t function and I’m in bed by 3.30pm and I’m hungover for days despite deadlines and events.

On Thursday last week I went to the AGM of the NGO I’ve volunteered with for over ten years. I’ve been a voting member for 4-6 of those. You member the group that was under valuing me and bullying me. Yeah, that one! I stepped down. Even by choice, with all the other grief and stuff in life to deal with, it was a tear in the corner of my eye moment. I was asked to stand so a room full of mostly strangers could see who I was and asked if I wanted to say something. I did but wasn’t in any state to speak. Nor, would they have wanted to hear what I would have said.

Add to this my carer wore perfume that day. She made the statement “it was her thing!” I’m like, “Get another thing!” And then the migraine to boot.

On the Sunday, I did a BBQ gathering in a local park to celebrate my recent 5-Oh! And upon arrival found the BBQs did not work.

Having some WTF Moments of late, and not coping. Things continue to slip. It’s now practically Wednesday and Tuesday came with two carers arriving because I forgot to cancel one and it allowed me to do some outsourcing and some catching up. My small stack of hospital referrals and letters for appointments has gone. And while this is not the post I’d intended; I will start on the next. A BIG AWARD TO BE REVEALED! Some updates on all the important things and finding new ways to write since I’ve got bigger issues with my one good hand.

TO BE CONTINUED………

Today’s Lunch 6th September 2018

Published September 6, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays Lunch

Today’s lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Allow me to start with some good news and a shout-out to one of my carers who is currently away. Well, miss you and my new bag is fine. A friend visited late last week with her skates on! (No, really!) and she lengthened the strap on my new bag prompting me to let you know I’m enrolling you into an extensive 1 to 1, 6 months full time course on how to lengthen straps on bags. My friends going to give you an exclusive course. I know, 6 months. Never fear, you will come out with a certificate one, in bag strap adjusting totally worth it! I imagine you can use these skills for the rest of your life. Totally worth it! (Yes, I am kidding)

New bag

I am not nailing this 1am bedtime curfew. I can’t manage to make it to bed by 1, then I hear the street cleaners before too long anyway. Then get woken the first time around 4am. People wonder why I’m so grumpy.

Grumpy cat

So, planning plenty of writing today. With lunch of course.

Well, if you read my posts each day you might have noticed, that didn’t happen on the correct date. Yes, Wednesday I went back to bed with a crappy migraine, slept until 5pm and it was quiet on the home front as the trams weren’t running. There is a tram stop at my door for the city. I had caught a tram home later in the afternoon on Tuesday and it was pure agony. Buses replacing trams, I had followed directions in Clifton Hill from my usual tram stop to the train station to get a bus. After going up and down the ramps to get to speak to an actual person and given more terrible half-baked directions, I walked even further to be directed to a bus. There were 3 men in hi-vis on the bus, none of whom knew what the hell was happening.

Trams

Get a clue people! Should I mention do not prove incompetent when a woman is sliding into the pause. My crazy lady hormones are playing up and I can’t do person properly! Good thing I stayed at home Wednesday.

Crazy lady hormones

Thursday, I more than made up for it. After my carer did my cleaning I went out for lunch. A nice local, I used to do lunch at 15 years ago when I worked not far from where I now live. They specialise in Lebanese pizza’s. so, haloumi cheese. I always order a vegetarian pizza (don’t judge me) with salami. Plus, I settled in for 2 medicines to deal with my migraine that just does not want to go away!

Vegetarian Pizza

Latte

Latte 2

Upon returning home I got down in to B1, where my scooter shed lives and dug around in my gardening supplies to pot some of my bulbs. Some things went home or were thrown out when I moved so it’s going to take time to restock.

Pot plants