writing

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My Blogging

Published August 24, 2026 by helentastic67

My Blogging

“If you can read it? If you can understand it? I didn’t write it!” is often something I tell people.

I hand my carer my shopping list, which I insist on doing old-school, and after a polite noise of confusion from them, I tell them their first test is understanding my handwriting.

I haven’t written my blog posts longhand for years. Disappointingly, certain appointments and the privilege of having my mobility scooter motivated me to come home from physio, where I’d had a kip and enough rest that I’d put on some music, grab some medicine — that being coffee — and smash out posts one after another until I’d gotten a few things off my chest or out of my mind. I’d smash out seven or eight blog posts before realising I should probably consider dinner. By then, it would be dark outside.

So, it is to say: carpal tunnel surgery and a trigger thumb issue. Not as fun as that sounds! Now my handwriting is something even I struggle to understand, I will write several words for something scheduled in my diary, so if I can at least decipher one word, I can then work out what the rest of it says.

I had recently been contemplating purchasing a really nice pen, but even that wasn’t going to improve my handwriting. So, what’s the point?

Back in my college days, I had a class every Friday where the whole class would go flooding into the shops to buy the things we needed for a display. In my first class, I learnt that the stuff I had at home was rubbish, so I begged my parents for a credit card. That way, I could buy the things I needed, have an awkward conversation with a salesperson in a department store, take the goods to use, and then return all of the items for a full refund at the end of the day. Clearly, there were weird looks every time and negotiations at every desk I visited.

That first subject was Menswear and Accessories. I got a shirt, shoes, tie, belt — you get the idea. Then for a big hit of bling, I bought a Montblanc pen, a fountain pen. You know the pen was the most expensive item. My lecturer put it in his shirt pocket to save it from going walking. I came in $5 under my credit card limit that day. It all went back undamaged. It is effectively how I got through the second year of my course. It gave my dad a really good credit rating.

Obviously, I didn’t even get to use that pen, but I’ve only seen one Montblanc pen in the wild since then. I set myself a target years ago: if I ever got published, I hoped somebody would gift me a stunning Montblanc pen.

And in recent years, I have decided that I have, in fact, already been publishing via this very blog. So, where’s my pen?

And anything worth having is worth getting yourself, right? But I’ve already signed all the important documents online in recent years, so what’s the point? Then I’d need to get a safe, as pens go walking in my home and I live alone. So, I guess I won’t be getting a Montblanc pen.

A young carer asked me the significance of this particular pen and I explained that it was basically the Ferrari of pens. I had chosen the fountain pen specifically because, in a display, the tip of the pen was big enough to stand out. I did some research recently, and that pen is worth thousands. Ouch!

Won’t be getting that one. Maybe I’ll just go and look at one up closely. Perhaps at an upcoming ladies’ day to the city. If you are too afraid to go look, here’s a link:

terstuck-gold-coated-legrand-calligraphy-fountain-pen-flexible-nib-MB134040.html

I mean, you can’t even see the emblem on the top of the pen in this and it’s gold. Yuck. Not a fan of gold. Full stop.

I mean, it is to say that in the ’90s, an expensive pen was the equivalent of what a $410,000 watch is now. And I think in recent years I’ve upgraded my high-end car reference from the humble Ferrari to the Maserati.

You can have an apartment in most parts of Melbourne, or you can have a Maserati. You cannot live in a Maserati.

I don’t know how I got here. You are very welcome.

A Pinch and a Punch

Published August 16, 2026 by helentastic67

A Pinch and a Punch

A pinch and a punch! And a punch and a kick for being so quick.

It is the first day of June as I tap out this post. Therefore, the first day of winter. I have had a week already, or even the year. Can we be done yet?

Don’t worry, I am indeed being overly dramatic. I will improve when I get serious and put on my merino wool pants. I bought two pairs last year. The first I bought at a sample sale of a favourite merino wool shop based in Clifton Hill. The only thing I found wrong with them was that they needed hemming. Being height-challenged, I find this to be the norm anyway, so what’s the difference? I then went and bought another pair in black as soon as the spring sale started. I got them online, so I didn’t miss out.

I’m serious about my need to be warm these days and if I’m neck to ankle in warmth, I can’t feel anything and I can’t complain. It’s worth every cent.

I went out for lunch with a friend today and had a delicious lunch not far away in Northcote. Returned home, my friend gave me my once-yearly haircut. Now I’m rugged up on the couch, the youngest child, Freddie, snuggled into my side on top of the lap blanket. The heater is on. And I’ve much to blog about.

Trying not to fall asleep. It’s now 6pm and it’s going to be a struggle to make it. I know I didn’t achieve big things today, but I only had one coffee and I did go out. Not out, out, but outdoors. And it feels like a big achievement some days. And if I reward myself with a kip, it will backfire.

I am halfway through the year, still trying to tick things off the list for 2025. And I only just made my Christmas Day French toast. Take that, 2025.

It has now been over twelve months without my mobility scooter, and while winter is not the season to be out in the elements on a scooter, it still means no fangin’ it out to my not-too-far-away weekly acupuncturist appointments, or my fortnightly physio appointments close to the stabby appointments. Both are free, with no out-of-pocket cost. I’ve not been to either in nearly the year since the loss of my wheels. It means I’ve given up the appointments to better use the time or a carer and her wheels.

Catching up on hunter-gathering, getting to further-away appointments and letting the painful things build up. It seems I can’t do/have both at the same time.

Sheds and Landlords

Published August 3, 2026 by helentastic67

Sheds and Landlords

These days I like people who offer me more solutions than problems. It is to say even if I’m not paying them out of pocket and its coming from my NDIA funding I want solutions. Efficiency is also ideal.  One of the many conversations trying to solve the problems around my scooter and storing it and powering it, etc.

Oh my God and when I moved almost a year ago now, I cannot tell you what I would have given somebody to not need to discuss dishwashers ever again, but my scooter. Just kill me.

Had a meeting with an OT, who I will add should probably have been project managing solving this issue! and when she looked to depart, I said to her “Aren’t you going to stay to discuss shed’s and storing solutions?” I was informed she had another client to go see and she didn’t know anything about “sheds!” Fuck! I didn’t either but I might have considered she could have learnt.

I will point out now for over fifteen years when my first OT sorted my scooter, the funding for which and separate funding for a shed from a separate NGO, for which every place I’ve rented since I’ve been able to put the shed on the property somewhere to house and charge and secure the precious hellonwheels.

Landlords came to the party with little effort to install a live power supply. One property manager when I dropped in for a friendly chat to let him know I would be formally giving notice to vacate he told me, “You’ll be leaving the shed?” My landlords were wogs. As was he, and I had no problem reminding him the shed was mine and he could “Fuck off!” so it was never mentioned again. They are lucky the police had not been contacted after my landlord had gotten handsy and I on a second occasion took the time to explain to him he had no right to ask what he had of me and no right to imagine what he had. I will hope you get where this was going? He did not think he had done anything wrong and he was only dissuaded from his thinking when I suggested we ask his son to join the conversation and see what he thought. His son parked out the front to deliver his children before breakfast, then he collected them after work at the end of the day. The landlord lived very close by. The son was close to my age, I know he would have not been impressed by his father’s actions. 

I’ve not told many of what happened on several occasions in my home where you should feel safe, where you pay money to someone who therefore has power and responsibility over you, but the few people either did an incident report and another told me I definitely had a skill set that many did not. 

In case you are concerned I was not assaulted. I’m not a victim or a survivor; I just didn’t appreciate his hand being anywhere on my person he thought he could put it for whatever his intentions. Not complaining. I think I look back at all the jobs, in clubs or elsewhere and they all gave me certain skills, a calm confidence to deal with situations most do not have to in a workplace. 

You should take it for granted that I’m nice, I’m sweet, but you don’t mess with me. Few people have learnt this the hard way and karma is a Bitch! And so am I.

That got dark, didn’t it? I just mean when people do me wrong, I point out to them the error of their ways so they are not misled to think they can take advantage of me or others. 

I should also say if you have been inflicted with attention you did not ask for whatever the outcome, please talk to someone you trust, a friend, a person in a position to help guide or navigate unfamiliar territory. But tell somebody. It’s not your fault and you didn’t ask for it. I wonder if I should have offered a trigger warning at the beginning of this post. It is not where I intended for it to go, so I apologise if anybody has reason to feel traumatised. 

Hair Day

Published July 6, 2026 by helentastic67

Hair Day

These days I wash my hair twice weekly. I know today is going to be a boring blog post, but I think my life is full of little humorous moments and I like to share. Strap in, You’re Welcome.

Some of you might have read my early posts where I unpacked having had radiation treatment where I was left with bald, I mean BALD patches all over my head. I had a boyfriend back then who buzzed my hair back to a Number 1 and I’d had waist length hair, so my hair had been a big part of who I was. 

The last fifteen plus years I’ve grown back my hair and had regular trims to keep it healthy. But it’s never likely going to be as long as it once was or as healthy. I’m also fighting the crazy lady hormones that doesn’t do our hair or skin any favours.

So, every Monday and Fridays my carer takes my hair down from the sassy bun I wear it in and gives it a brush. When I’ve had older carers, we have noticed my curly hair gives me a Diana Ross vibe. My carer wondering how I know who that is? Because I’m older than they realise.

This Monday gone my carer left the room and when she came back I was still sitting in the area referred to as the hairdressing area. She stated, “You know who your hair makes you look like?” I quickly responded Diana Ross? She is too young to know who that is, but I will give homework and if you don’t know you just got homework also. And she responded with one word. Dry, Succinct, Harsh.

Hagrid.

I snort a laugh. It’s not the first time and I have another sibling who is more Hagrid in the hair department. You have to laugh.

Not a Drinker

Published June 22, 2026 by helentastic67

Not a Drinker

Now, I do vehemently stand behind my statement that I barely drink, it’s very true despite the fact I have some serious alcohol in my home. Today I also went to a drive through bottle shop, also fondly referred to as a Bottle-O. Monday I bought some large jars and today I scooped up 2 Kilos of cumquats to make cumquat brandy. So, having a bottle of brandy at home already, I would be very annoyed if I started this process only to find I didn’t have enough brandy. I make a batch every few years as they need to marinade for four years. My oldest jar is about twenty years and its very dark I’m not wanting to need to crack that one open. I use the cumquats in my baking and the brandy is very nice in some lemonade, specifically Tarax Black Lemonade. It’s a nice Ladies drink, otherwise known as an aperitif. Explaining it like this, do I sound like a drinker? 

It’s always much fun at a Bottle-O as I need to be directed to the brandy and they always show me their most expensive drop. I tell them I want the cheaper end of the market because when I’m done with it, it will be top shelf. The banter with the rather young male staff goes well and I mention while referring to my late-twenties carer I once went there for a small and cheap bottle of red wine to put in my bolognese and despite my carer being twenty, they asked her for ID, I asked today “Why don’t you ask the mid-life crazy ladies for ID?” I suggested while I’m not there for wine, they must see many hormonal women they just want to get them outta there with their wine.

Going to the post office I went to collect my two small parcels and I was offered five boxes of wine to which I swiftly replied, “No Thanks!”

So, circling back to my parting from the Bottle-O and my carer takes the purchase and calls back to me we can go. “Come on! Let’s go home and get drunk!” I laughed but hope he believed my version of our encounter. I do love the wit and humour of my carers, and their timing can be absolutely On-Point.

Word of the Day

Published June 14, 2026 by helentastic67

Word of the Day

Today’s words of the day – Nose holes, I mean it, um, What? I hear you ask? Yes, exactly. A youngster announces these words to me with great confidence. I comment we already have words for those; they are called nostrils. But to my great amusement she is sticking with Nose Holes. They have been causing much grief with both hay fever and blood noses and she tells me they are both suffering equally. 

I have suggested she needs to eat more meat as she might be anaemic. I’ve suggested to go be seen by a doctor and even my Crazy Lady Hormone Doctor because the report back for my bloodwork is very specific and a normal GP will likely glance at some things and be rather dismissive. 

My recent report has provided me feedback that I have Way Too Much B6. WTF I’m paraphrasing but that’s in most things that goes into or on my person. 

I enquired at a Health food Store and he told me it’s in a lot of supplements. All I could say was “That’s all I take!” I had been planning to die healthy one day. Now, it looks like I can die healthy or I can die in pain. These are not great options. 

Today I bought the only Magnesium on the market that doesn’t have B6 and I went home dug out my supply of magnesium and gave it to the Nose Hole Inventor of great joy and humour. And while I’ve given her as much direction and recommendation I can as “Not a Doctor.” I’ve already been nudging her towards getting appropriate medical advice. Best/worst case scenario, it helps her with her aching muscles, her sleep, period pain, and the worst case she doesn’t take it at all. Time will tell.

Vases

Published June 1, 2026 by helentastic67

Vases

If you recall, three years ago I turned fifty in the same month my father passed. At least my dad was there, if you’re into that kind of thing.  I was sent flowers which was really nice and never expected. I was sent some red ants too because when you water some plants the foam is full of annoying insects that you need to obliterate. Alas, vases came in handy. 

One particular day when a bunch needed to go, I asked the carer to take the vase out to my balcony and put the dead flowers into the bucket for weeds. I instructed her to bring the vase and the glass beads into the kitchen to be washed. Or so I thought… 

For some crazy reason later, I was in the bin room on the ground floor looking at what looked like my vase. It was exactly the same, the blue glass beads and all. I was going to ask her but thought No, mine is in my apartment on the second floor, right? I know language is sometimes a barrier with this carer and I didn’t want to offend her or second guess her. So convinced was I that my vase was inside my home. 

Over time I obviously realised I no longer possessed that vase and the longer I left it the easier it was to appreciate all the moving parts and that someone else has my vase. I one day asked said carer if she had perhaps misunderstood and thought if I didn’t want it anymore, she would give it a new home. I’m not suggesting stealing it but if it had been a misunderstanding that I had provided the vase and when the flowers are discarded you wash the vase and put it back until you need it again. Right? She was horrified and didn’t remember having put it in the bin room. 

This leads me to the first vase I had until two weeks ago. I had asked my carer, a different one who kept correcting my mispronunciation of vase to tip out the old water and we would refill with fresh. I had bought some Indonesian orchids at the market about a month ago as they last and even as they dry, they remain colourful and pretty. They are definitely too small to go into the current cylindrical vases that would be lost in my home. She tipped up the vase and as I watched from the couch she quickly apologies stating she thought she had chipped the top of the vase. It was worse than that. I think it’s good to remind my followers that I am indeed half blind and despite being 4-5 metres away I had to tell my carer to put the vase down into the sink as it had s crack all the way around the middle and she was holding it very gently in her two hands. 

As she apologised profusely. She was very apologetic and stated she would replace it. It is annoying when things I’ve owned for 30 years are broken and cannot be replaced as easily as that however she said everything you want someone in your home that breaks or damages something to state everything she said. I asked her to repeat all of it again so I could record it as a teaching manual for others. We didn’t but we will both keep an eye out for that perfect vase and it will happen when I think the least of us expects it. Very seriously, despite an item being broken it was much more important she does not cut her hands and neither of us do paperwork for an incident report. The dreaded incident report. We discussed both if I was cut or if she was cut. I don’t know if I have to do admin but I thought the absolute worst-case scenario was my thirty-year-old carer getting her hands cut so badly she had muscle and nerve damage and could not only not be my carer anymore but would need carers herself. 

And I still refuse to buy a big round tall cylindrical vase that only hold tall, stemmed stalks I don’t want to have to buy. 

Young Ambo

Published May 25, 2026 by helentastic67

Young Ambo

Ok, today you should be pleased to finally read about the young man. The ambulance guy who was standing at the end of my bed seeing me in all my naked splendour. I warn you I’ve already over sold it.

The day after my Angio, was a Friday. I had my regular Friday carer who had conveniently been there the morning and afternoon before. I had spent a on and off sleepless night. I had, had my phone on my bed just in case. It was completely flat despite it having been on charge. 

We compared notes, Ms Friday frustrated I’d been allowed to shower. I had a shower and we carefully peeled off the clear film-like Band-Aid that covered the wound site. It was more she let me do it while she directed. It’s fine, she was following things to the law and was aware any involvement if things went wrong, she could be liable. It’s always the right time to make a joke I’m not going to die and who would sue her? 

She assessed the wound and decided it had a tiny spot of blood. she rang Nurse on call, by this stage I was cold and tired so as I was dry just wanted to hurry up and get back in bed. Obviously, Ms Friday above and beyond the call of duty had called an ambulance as the nurse on call had been unsure how serious the situation was. 

I remember the questions they had asked her to be along the lines of, was I obese? Did I overeat? I could not help her communicate the finer points or the short version.

It goes like this –

“Female. 53. Has an AVM, right sided. Complete left-sided hemianopia. Yesterday, had a cerebral angiogram. Was Phenerganed, cannot emphasize that enough. Can not moderate temperature, small amount of blood spotting on the site of the Angio and she had been putting pressure on it while we had been waiting.

Again, I’ve unpacked some things there I’d not yet mentioned. But here we are. I’ll do it better next time. 

OK, I’ll try.

I was responsive but non-verbal. I was aware of everything as I saw in my blind spot on my left a young woman watching me and at the end of my bed was an equally young man. When I suggest “young” I mean maybe thirty? And that’s pushing it. They both looked younger. As I recall thinking I’m cold and tired, can we just move this along. I used the back of my had to wave towards the site at the top of my right leg. No words. Just the hand motion. 

Thankfully, I did not need to go back to hospital, and many discussions have been had with Ms Friday about this event and with my other carers that note how by the book she is. I’m just suggesting it’s nice to have carers that give a fuck. I remember thinking this young man has not seen enough naked bodies to be seeing mine.

I had discussed with Ms Friday the lack of covering for my modesty requirements. She said she had covered my breasts, or” Girls” as I prefer. They are not great at this age and lying down, but they were not what I was most concerned about. 

I’m having laser treatments in the last few years has meant I can no longer make statements along the lines of It’s a jungle down there, but what remains was a bit hectic. (I’ve wanted to put that sentence in a blog post for a while now.)

You’re welcome.

A few anecdotes still get mentioned months later that will live on forever. Once my carer had seen me delivered to the nurse and assisted me out of my clothes and into the terrible paper pants. She said they were delightful. Anything that threatens to fall off the last time you get to pee is never delightful. Just saying. I needed a hit of lip balm, was not trying to impress anybody, just perimenopausal and always dehydrated. With my upcoming Angio usually means stop drinking. Girl Friday, is it too late to go with G.F.? dispatched to the chemist to return with lip balm. And this brilliant story. On her return she had found herself walking down a hallway behind who she described as a surgeon. Who farted? As he walked down the entire hallway. No shame, no embarrassment, no, I should take this anywhere else to do it in private. Just nonstop farting, down the hallway. Gold! Pure gold! Best story ever for me to go into my Angio with. Carers really bring the good stuff is what I’m saying.  

I remember during all these moments at some point, even likely after my first shower, and potentially after the paramedics attending to me, I was in the bathroom standing looking at myself in the mirror naked. Don’t imagine that it’s not as good as it sounds. Self-depreciation much. and seeing how many white and blue sticky things stuck to my chest. Meanwhile wondering, how long have they been there? I took them off and put them in the bathroom hand basin. the number was considerable. I did take photos, but you are not ready. It is for the amusement of few and never. 

You know the sticky things older men like to show off on their chests after a minor angina attack? Chest pumped out like they are still hot and twenty. Now we need to pity them because they have suffered. Yeah, note women don’t do this.

Circling Back

Published May 18, 2026 by helentastic67

Circling Back

This week I thought I’d circle back to last October. I read a recent post where I wasn’t sure I finished the storyline I was trying to share. 

As you know, life is busy when you’re one-handed. And I seem to only ever skim the surface on some topics until I hear back from others or other people do their jobs allowing me to get some items ticked off my lists.

Note, Lists, plural, not singular. Don’t even bother creating a list these days. What’s the damn point?

Some of you may recall October ’25 I had my third cerebral angiogram? Yeah, hate those fucking things. That’s the one where they pass a wire up from your artery in your groin, up through your heart and into the arteries in and around your brain. When placed in said arteries, they release little amounts of contrast or iodine. It’s hot, others have told me it’s actually cold. I don’t know if they have had one but I’m saying it’s hot because it feels like it’s on fire. In all the parts of your head that shouldn’t be on fire.

This was the procedure that has me now making bold statements such as “Helen cannot be Phenerganed” 

As preparation for the Angio, as I’ve mentioned I’ve had two previously. I reacted very badly to the first, where my blood pressure dropped in the procedure and a nurse literally started running round the room in a panic. Like, her running was going to help at all, or I was not awake and witnessing her panic. 

Seriously, I’m right here and I’m awake and conscious. Don’t panic, it does not help me stay calmer. So, I had a reaction to the contrast and the third Angio I took an antihistamine twelve hours before and another an hour before.

 Once at the hospital and in the pre-surgical area a discussion was had, with a nurse with a messy haircut and tattoo’s up both her arms. She was about my age or older and a particular tattoo looked like a purple bruise on her arm.

Think I’ve met this nurse before because I think I’ve had this conversation before. But not recently. I asked if it was a bruise and she informed me it was just a bad tattoo. I don’t have any tattoos, but I know they all tell a story of significance to them. Her arms were a canvas of simple lines and smudges. Hard to forget. 

And the discussion was had with the medical registrar about “Giving me a little something” Another discussion about whether they would use an artery through my groin or my right arm. As I only have the use of my right arm it was important I ask if I would be able to use my arm after? He told me it would be a little numb at which point I insisted please use my groin. 

I know it sounds wrong so I will explain at the top of your leg, both legs just next to your groin, or snatch as I prefer, is the artery that provides blood to your legs. They give you a local anesthetic and use a scalpel to slice open that location where they then feed into it a wire. I’m getting off topic. So, Phenergan. 

It allows you to be mildly sedated could be the easiest way to describe it. I was calm and conscious and aware of all the things happening. I didn’t like it, but you just lie there and let stuff happen. One particular blast of the iodine I knew I had pee’d. I know, really highbrow stuff here. It’s not so easy while being punched in the head from the inside and lying in a coolish room in nothing but a pair of tied on paper underpants, and a cotton hospital gown and a light blanket. But modesty persists and I felt compelled to mention. 

Just an FYI, Doctors couldn’t care less as the area they were interested in was purely my brain, not my comfort or dignity. I know when I tried to communicate this situation to the registrar, I was barely understandable. He told me to repeat for the nurse and I was again, not understandable. It was forgotten until much later.

Hours later, my carer returned and I was not ready to be released. As her shift was over and I would later learn how she had tried to push to extend her shift to get me home. 

Apparently, all three of my carer agencies had been contacted to see if I could have a carer stay overnight with me. My then support coordinator who had stated her boss had told her to turn off her phone at 4pm so she was officially off duty. Apparently, I was meant to have a friend stay over with me, but nobody thought to tell me. 

My next of kin, my mother is in her mid-seventies at this point and should not be expected to race down to care for me at 6pm. Not when she lives 3.5 hours’ drive away. They should have found a bed for me over night.

The kind nurse had tried to sit me up to get my clothes on me and I kept just falling down onto my back. My carer reporting to me later she offered her opinion in the form of a welfare check. “Helen is not OK!” I know right.

And I’m still not to the point of explaining how young male ambulance personnel was standing at the end of my bed while I was lying there cold and naked. It’s a very good thing I’ve got a good memory.

Alas, the owner of my third carer provider came to be my carer to get me home and settled. I ended up only being with that company for six months however that day, I was put into a wheelchair and wheeled down to the carpark under the hospital. I recall thinking it was too late to ask for a jab of tramadol as my left eye hurt and that’s the basic sign of a migraine these days and a jab of tramadol takes thirty minutes to kick in and would knock me out within that time so I could sleep it off. 

Then I was in the car, no tramadol. I ride shotgun, front seat passenger. I can’t get my left foot with the AFO into a backseat, and my brain does not like motion.  I have motion sickness at the best of times. Barely able to put words together I gave directions to my home. I directed the driver to pull under the building, so it was easier to get out. 

BTW, I was in my pyjamas and my new black merino wool jacket if you were wondering. So, not being dropped in a clear way on a busy street was some basic dignity. 

Went inside, upstairs. I remember sitting like a zombie on the couch. I remember constantly asking my carer who she was/what her name was? Took off some layers and had a shower. Learned the next day said carer did not follow any of the hand over notes, as I was not supposed to have a shower. 

I was home and alone around 8pm as my carer had asked where my spare room was for her to sleep. My second bedroom is a study and definitely does not have a bed in it. I had offered her the couch to kip on. Kip is a British term I picked up in 1994 when I travelled there. It’s to have a nap/or a sleep. She declined. 

Probably should mention, an overnight shift costs a great deal more. I’ve never needed one thankfully, but there is a financial difference between what considered an “Active” or a “Non-Active” shift. An “Active” shift means you will not get to sleep; your client is high needs. Not for the faint hearted. She did not stay over but left a few notes that she had left at 8pm after I recall discussing I would just go to bed and sleep. 

I believe part of the reason you are suggested to have someone with you so you don’t sign some million-dollar contract in a state not for making wise financial situations you can never undo. Because that’s likely to happen, in no world ever.

Remember, I could barely string sentences together, retain names or information but my example stands.

Comedy Season 2026 – Part 2

Published May 10, 2026 by helentastic67

Comedy Season Part 2

Comedy season starts this week and I think I see the first show of many on Sunday night. I’m exhausted before it even begins. Yet I’m still contemplating if I can score Urzila Carlson tickets with a plus one to go with. She appears at the Palais in St Kilda, which is across town from where I live on the Northside. I conveniently live on a tram route however, it’s one thing to do a tram into the city towards the end of the afternoon, and change to do another along Swanston Street, walk to Hamer Hall at the Arts Centre by 7pm, when the evening commuters don’t always consider to offer me a seat on a tram that I had to pull myself up steps to get on to as time was starting to be of the essence, i.e. Couldn’t risk waiting for the next accessible tram. But, going to St. Kilda on trams, I don’t think so. Getting stuck on the carpark that is Hoddle Street, Clifton Hill or Punt Road in general is a carpark in peak so might miss Ursula this year. 

Do I need to come out as straight? Urzila is a larger than life, unapologetic Lesbian. Not suggesting there’s anything wrong with Lesbians. I’m a fan. However, I’m just stating. I’m NOT GAY, I’m just fussy. When will people get it? And I love comedy, need some shits and giggles in life.

I will likely get too busy to write about all the shows I get to so, will likely smash it all out together. 

It’s generally a lot, where if I’m seeing a show in the evening, I can’t be doing adulting during the day, I need the right level of nothing during the day, the right amount of sustenance. Send the right amount of Boss coffee to get me there and home afterwards. 

Ideally, a friend drives in, parks somewhere and meets me, helps me navigate my inbox in my email for the tickets I’ve saved and drives me home afterwards so I’m safe and can still manage to get out of my shoes, AFO and socks. There’s always still housekeeping to be done to wind down before sleep.