Migraine Helen

Published April 10, 2023 by helentastic67

Migraine Helen

If this post could have a longer title, it would be “How to get a migraine in one easy step!” What’s that? I imagined I could sneak a little fun social catch up into my boring life without consequences.

Anyone with disabilities will tell you, they will try every now and again to put something fun into their life to break the monotony. But while its great at the time it always comes with a cost. I’ve been trying to get to something in the inner West for about six months. A friend goes to something every Wednesday and I’d booked my Friday carer to go with me, her plans changed and another carer was able to assist me. I’d arranged my local artist friend Larissa MacFarlane to join us. She’s the friend from the radio interview I did from a few weeks ago. You can catch that interview again here if you missed it.

Lara was also the driving force behind the advisability Murals “Disability Pride!” Already, I digress, the event I hear you ask? Drag Bingo. The venue required me to get up and down a flight of stairs. I haven’t been to a Drag show for twenty years, back at the (the greyhound) But Drag and Bingo? You will never hear the word “Bitch!” Repeated so appropriately in the same night. Zena Ghost was her name; you can see her on Instagram. She had three costume changes throughout the night. The last one she had worn to the recent Melbourne Grand Prix, she had mentioned three Drag Queens had been employed for the event, they were told to dress “Conservatively” I don’t think she hadn’t? She finished the set with Rihanna’s “Shut Up & Drive!”

If you want to read more on the Melbourne Grand Prix other than my experience while working in a big shed in Richmond twenty years ago, hearing the cars practice the weeks leading up to the race, hearing the news helicopters overhead and living in Prahran, close by in the ‘90’s. I’m just saying. Noisy and Loud! So, happy living Northside during footy and Grand Prix season, check out William’s blog. He knows what he’s talking about. http://www.williamsperfectride.com

But, I digress again. Here’s how Hell gets a migraine? Sitting this close to the stage. It’s too close. With the lights and the loud, the 360’s sensory overload. It’s too much.

Oh, yeah, and all the audience participation. The Pronouns being thrown about just needing to be included. Calm down? I get it’s a safe space for the LGBTQI+ community but when the Drag queen found a badge of a footy player, she looked towards the table of Hetro Admin chicks to see if there were any takers. Sorry if you are into AFL or Rugby, however in Australia the players of these sports have not had the best behaviour in public or otherwise and have rightly been publicly shamed for posting poor social behaviour on social media. Female comedians have made jokes that if straight women stop having sex with them, we could breed them out. Because apparently bogan sport’s men breed bogan sports people. Sorry, you all know it’s just the men, elite sports women don’t do stupid things in bathroom urinating and catching it on smart phones to later posting on social media. Smartphone, it’s an oxymoron, isn’t it?

So, Thursday, the day after Drag Bingo, Migraine Helen, it hurts! Feel awful, I normally describe myself as having a migraine every day that ends in “Y” but they are the Walking/Talking kind of migraine where I can still manage a semblance of adulting. But occasionally I need to reassess my day and greet my carer with a succinct “You need to listen to me. You need to hear and understand!” Because the first mission is for us to get out and get a Jab of Tramadol in my arse, then it’s back home to bed before it knocks me out. So, any goals that needed achieving had to be communicated effectively before I’m out. Thursday being the day before Good Friday means my shopping and any Hunter/Gathering must get done as Good Friday is a public holiday. My regular Girl Friday who is often out doing my shopping on autopilot was not my Girl Thursday so I’d had to tell my carer which milk to get and which kitty litter, etc.

I knew I’d be spending my Easter weekend alone on my couch watching TV, eating good food and chocolate. I just hadn’t expected I’d be doing it hung over from a Migraine and I don’t even drink! I do not know how people that drink do it.

A regular prize in bingo was a shot of “Wet Pussy” (A short glass of some sort of potent Peach drink), the woman at our table that won it several times but donated it to someone else because she didn’t drink. Drag Bingo is definitely a drinking game.

Highly recommended if you wanna see an impersonation of a Britney Spears-era 15 year old teenage girl dancing in her bedroom like no one is watching. Not a negative. Then Drag Bingo is for you.

Meanwhile, it’s Easter Sunday morning 4am and I can’t sleep. Hence, I’m writing this.

Meanwhile, Melbourne is also in the 40th year of the Melbourne International comedy festival and I went all out and have five tickets this year. (I’m doing hard Mass and it’s not been running 40 years, but it started in 1987. Can you do the sums? Please.

My first comedy show is tomorrow night as in Tuesday. So far so good. The next is Saturday night and the people that I got tickets to go with me have already pulled out so I’m trying to find two others to go with me and make sure I get home in one piece.

Hope everyone survived Easter.
And hit Like!

Crazy Lady Hormones

Published April 3, 2023 by helentastic67

Crazy Lady Hormones

I have a parcel collection at a location close to home for when I have deliveries bigger than my letterbox. It’s at a Post Office inside a Chemist. I walk in and by the time I get to the counter for the post office they have seen me and located my parcel and it is waiting on the counter. How? You know what I’m saying?

The woman behind the counter has my parcel on the counter ready for me to take it. Service! Right? Or I get a lot of parcels and they just need the room for whatever will arrive fresh each day. I prefer the first option, that they just provide good service.

I have a tendency to tell them what I’m getting to amuse them and brighten their day a bit. The plague made snail mail (post office’s) as busy as Christmas season.

So, a few weeks ago I scoop up my parcel announcing “It’s my Crazy Lady Hormones!” from Queensland. I only ordered these Thursday, they were there the following day and I got to scoop them up the following Monday. I can see how they must have bigger parcels sit there longer to collect, hence the swift moving to the counter for me to collect.

Upon the look I received from the older woman, who I imagine thinks I’m too young for crazy lady hormone dramas, I announce “Yes! Got the hot flushes!” As she’s older than I am I enquire “when do they end?” Secretly hoping she doesn’t say something that kills my soul. Then she announces, “Helen I’m 64 and I’ve still got the hot flushes.

All I can think is, great. So, they last till I’m dead then? She killed my soul.

Hot Off the Press – 27th March 2023

Published March 27, 2023 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

Reminiscent of days gone past, in my earlier Blogging days when one post each week unpacked the chaos, highlights and lowlights of my average week. 2023 seems to have stepped up a notch on my version of hectic.

Monday, had a day trip to Mornington for a meeting. Dropped some cash down there. Came home with a brand-new winter Doona cover and pillowcases. Still do not know why I keep buying the matching pillowcases as I only have one pillow on my bed these days. More than that, get in the way of me being able to see the bedside clock on the other side of the bed.
Also, got to Coffee Traders & Tutti – Fruity.

Don’t know when my migraine set in but it was definitely well rooted Tuesday. These days I have two kinds of migraines, Tuesday I had the kind I can still function doing walking/talking. Weirdly, it’s a pity because I had many calls and emails to do. The kind of calls I had to growl at people. By the time I’d made all my calls I was on a roll and prepared to volunteer to do others calls that required some growling also. My one appointment at home ended up getting cancelled as my young Neurophysio cancelled due to being ill. Me thinks being his turn to bring treats, again he begged off. I’m trying to teach him to take in turns. He’s a sweetheart and I like to tease the young ones.

Wednesday, a late start and off to chiropractor. Even more needed with the migraine. The kind that happens every day ending in “Y”.

Did a few chores arranging my standard gift for bereavement.

My uncle passed a few weeks ago. He had a very short time after diagnosis and then he was gone. Brutal! I didn’t get to go to his funeral as it was Interstate and family didn’t consider including me in their plans to fly. I had briefly toyed with going and taking a carer from Melbourne using NDIS funding. I still would have had to cover their flights and accommodation and funding would have taken at least $1000 hit and then I would have needed to hire a car, honestly. What a drama, so stressful. Even if I could have gone, I would have been so exhausted it would not have mattered, just might have been nice if it had occurred to others to offer to help.

Thursday, another day at home planning to execute my plan of World Domination, a little joke I have. Really, just a plan to survive day to day and make it through the week. Otherwise, a day of rest as my migraine continues.

Friday, my second chiropractic appointment and then and then the usual hunter/gathering including a trip to South Melbourne to see my hand specialist. Had a local anaesthetic then a cortisone shot for my trigger thumb. Not as fun as it sounds, even managed to fit in a fall on Friday, narrowly avoiding landing on a star picket. So glad I missed that.

Finished Friday heading to Collingwood to deliver the other Lilly to my cousin. Thanks to my evening taxi driver Young Deepak. Even Young John would appreciate him. He’s, our people. Dinner at 10pm, emails until late. Nothing new there.

This last week I’ve also been trying to get my head around a new piece of tech. A PVR, I suspect this added to my migraine but how can I tell?

The weekend I try to be as off-grid as possible. So, even Sunday night as I smash out this blog post, I’m already making my outreach calls while I watch a show in the background. At least I’ve a day at home tomorrow.

And my favourite thing about my Friday Wheel-Woman this week. And yes, it had AC and a CD Player. And it’s red.

Fingers crossed this coming week is calmer and less chaotic. Hope you are all doing well? Please hit Like.

Who Names These Coffee Varieties

Published March 20, 2023 by helentastic67

Who Names These Coffee Varieties

A recent trip to a coffee roaster saw us answering the questions about what kind of coffee is drunk in the household?

Just imagine I’m the latte drinker. Yes, my favourite meme for this is, “Latte is Italian for: you paid too much for that coffee!”

I described and created the coffee roast “I drank too much Sake last night!” Speaking for a friend. Poor young sales assistant looked at me questioning. Did you read the above? I drink latte and I was THERE!

Note! I’ve not thrown anyone specifically under the bus here, but this relates to the time around my father’s passing, she says diplomatically.

Larrisa and Julie – Chatting with a Self-Advocate

Published March 12, 2023 by helentastic67

2023 Episode 2 – Join Larissa and Julie — Chatting with a Self-Advocate

So, today I’ve got a little treat for you. So, strap yourself in.

A friend asked if I wanted to be interviewed for a radio show? Sure, because I fully believe I have a face for radio. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m hideous but these days I look in the mirror and think to myself, it is what it is and I leave the apartment anyway.

Then I learnt the radio interview would be via ZOOM! FFS so, the treat today is this is really what Hellonwheels looks like. Including swearing in context.

And yes, I always looked stoned and I have never even smoked a cigarette let alone a joint, I just naturally look like I’m about to pass out.

Note, you get the added little bonus of me impersonating a Nona. Impersonation so look for that.

Later that day it was recorded, all I could think was all the things I forgot to mention, but Lara insisted I might have forgotten all the other things if I’d remembered to list all the things about my body that are now, for want of a better word, fucked.

Guess I’ll do a post on that soon enough. You’re welcome.

A Rare Sunday

Published March 6, 2023 by helentastic67

A Rare Sunday

Only yesterday, Saturday I was included in an invite for a lunch gathering with my lovely Young John. The last year or so I haven’t seen much of him and for years he was like the only person I reached out to every week, he’s a busy man and has made time for own health in recent years.

If you are not sure or a new follower Young John is my lovely Greek taxi driver who has been driving taxis for forty plus years and was screwed over by the Uber/taxi license debacle of years past. He started driving me to rehab/physio appointments around fifteen years ago. Car-pooling myself and others generally older than me to all kinds of appointments. Young John is someone who in a day drives all over Melbourne scooping up regular people he has been driving for a lifetime and I’ve been lucky to have met him when I have. He always squeezes me into his schedule when he can.

Honestly, Young Betty was up from 6am (sleep in for her) but cooking like only a Yia-Yia or Nonna can. Do. When anyone else would do a lasagna or meat and salad for a BBQ or some roasted vegetables on the site. A Ya-Ya does it all.

I learnt years ago if you finish your plate as my upbringing taught me a Nonna will assume you loved it and are still hungry. Once had my aunt (the Italian Nonna) give me three serves of her food. Delicious that it was, the third time I didn’t eat it all as it was the only way for her to know I really couldn’t eat anymore.

Young Betty worked her way around the table deriving us and she passed behind my chair I told her I was not going to start until she sat and stayed down. Also, a sign of respect from my white Aussie upbringing, but often frowned upon by the European elders.

Finished with cuppa chino and some cake. I helped clear the table and shared the very amusing anecdote about packing dishes styles someone shared with me this week.

Grief and Humour – Part 2

Published February 27, 2023 by helentastic67

Grief and Humour – Part 2

So, while dealing with this whole grief thing I’m reminded of times I’ve seen women in the supermarket, they stop and seem to pause for a moment and a hand goes up to their heart and for a brief moment it looks like they just received some devastating news. I have been moved to ask if they are alright? And they pause and then they seem OK again and they reply as much and the day goes on.

Last Saturday I was attempting to get a loaf of rye bread carefully transported via a friend across town, delivered on the Friday, into my fridge freezer. My carer had suggested she could do this. But my first world problem in recent years has been a problem getting things into my fridge freezer.

Full disclosure, I also have a bar fridge size freezer and that’s full too. My carer has recently suggested I could live out of my freezers for six weeks without going shopping, but I’d eat a lot of chilli con carne, ice cream and stews, what a way to go.

So, there I am, fridge-freezer door open. My carer waits behind the door in the kitchen as I shuffled, to get the portioned bread into every nook and cranny, I talked as I worked telling her amusing little tidbits from my day, life, anecdotes of my life with my dad. Don’t recall now, even what I was telling her about, but every few sentences I paused, couldn’t speak. Wanted to burst into tears, but needed more importantly to finish my witty stories. I kept it together. My carer had told me I didn’t need to keep telling her whatever it had been I was telling her, but I finished both my stories and the task of getting all the bread in the freezer for safe keeping. Before I successfully closed the freezer door, I announced to my carer a little sadly. “I’m not leaving the door open because I don’t want you to see me cry” as I closed the door.

I just want to point out this is a hard job being ONE-HANDED! Just try it sometime. I offered my carer to open the door again and bathe in the brilliance that I had managed to achieve and she stated if she opened it again everything would fall out. I told her it would then be her job to get it all back in before she left.

So, I opened the door to show off my brilliant Jenga technique, from behind me the woman FUCKING SNEEZED.

And twos things fell out and we laughed.

You still get to laugh sometimes…..it’s just sweeter.

What’s Wrong with this Picture?

Published February 20, 2023 by helentastic67

What’s Wrong with this Picture?

Recently I was zipping round the local supermarket on HellOnWheels and doing a bit of Hunter/Gathering. I came across this.

A few other shoppers came over to enquire and I pointed to the fridge stating its good ice cream and what was annoying about it.

Once home, minus ice cream, I sent the photo to a few friends proposing the question, “What’s wrong with this picture?” A carer/friend replied instantly. “No room in freezer?”

Understanding

Published February 13, 2023 by helentastic67

Understanding

Some people might not understand why I’ve been sharing all the stuff about my father’s recent passing and partly, because it’s happening and it’s something we all go through, the passing of a loved one, family, parent, friend, whoever.

However, I’m also dealing with that on top of already dealing with my brain injury. Sometimes, people dealing or not dealing with how they are coping or not coping, I’m doing that too. On top of already dealing with my disability.

It might be 15 years since my disability happened but new things on top of that is like the first day of having my disability all over again. The disability stuff does NOT GO AWAY or TAKE a BREAK! Even something new comes along.