I hate when I spell something so badly, even the auto-correct on your phone can’t help me.
I have been known to suggest ways I could be excused from having to attend an AGM because, Sweet Jesus some I’ve been to are boring as!
Seriously, like waiting for paint to dry or grass to grow. I always suggest I’d prefer watching paint dry, because at least you can get high on the fumes…
Anyway, I have asked what would be a suitable reason to get out of attending, said AGM’s in the future and suggested Chronic Diarrhea? But the retired teacher told me only if I could spell it correctly!
I can be a bit of a spelling Nazi, because in I’m old enough to know the benefits of using words and yet “young enough” to abbreviate when texting and such…
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve held out my phone to someone telling them I have never typed in Canbu” because surely by now Not-smart phone you can tell I have a fat thumb and really meant to type Can you! Or the shorter version Can u?
Today’s usual arancini is looking a little flat for some reason. Kinda how I’m feeling this fine Hump Day mid-winter Melbourne.
Arancini has pumpkin & spinach today with the standard side-salad. And my medicine (cafe latte)
Side Note; When in Rome do not order a Latte! You will get what you asked for….a glass of milk.
There is something I really appreciate about the routine of my Wednesday. The crazy part of my week is done. From here to Friday there are generally no surprises.
Depression the standard today. Another day. Meh!
Today’s Hot off the Press will be bought to you today by the letters ‘F’ for Helen’s favourite word and ‘A’ for my apology for using the favourite word with frequency that might upset some. Only for the events that were on Monday and all in context to what happened. Anyway, let’s move on.
Monday, I was at my usual free community it’s health clinic only ever referred to as the Place. Trying to multitask and do my admin/emails while conversing with a nice gentleman called Tony and another lady joined the conversation. Well, she actually hijacked the conversation and it tuned out as I was getting a migraine. After a while, Tony disappeared and as I was not coping with being talked to (note, not with but at) I had asked her to stop. Several times, when she didn’t I humorously asked if she could talk under water? (Gets a laugh, yes. But apparently inflammatory) but I honestly thought it was better than a Shut the fuck up! Or outright Fuck off!……no? Tony returned with the woman who runs the place. She took a physical position between the other woman and myself. I had been aware she had been competing with me, but I had not been baiting her or responding to her so I didn’t realise she had been attempting to intimidate me by standing over me. Management seemingly came to my rescue and feeling miffed the other woman left. It was explained to me she has a very prison mentality and had spent 8 years in prison (wait!) for killing her husband. (And that is not the punchline)
Um, a new friend from this Place has said when you feel like your life is totally shit (paraphrasing) you go to this Place and then from what you see your life doesn’t seem that bad. It is presumed I should be getting my social community fix from this place.
I did attempt to explain to this woman why I wasn’t coping with her talking at me. I mentioned I had a brain injury and her only response to this was “everybody has a brain injury these days!” I honestly didn’t know how to respond. Note it would still be rude for me to have told her to fuck off or shut the fuck up! Go figure….and I’m the one with the brain injury.
I was given a lift home by said gentleman, after I joined them for some good social contact ie; joined them at the pub for beer. I had lemon, lime and bitters. Once home, coffee was had while my carer completed her chores.
Tuesday, went to the brain injury group I’m part of in the city for some Shanghai Doodle. (Think Chinese whispers but on paper) Good times, it seems even with only 8 people with brain injuries I still go home with a migraine. It would seem my ABI is not compatible with others in large numbers.
Wednesday, you may have noticed a lack of my Foodie Post? I didn’t have time to tap out an email on my iPhone as I was busy with company. A friend who I have not seen in some years joined me and much discussion was had. Here is a picture of Ro with the (I can never recall the name, so I call it the) Salted a caramel thing………I generally only have it in my birthday week and it must be shared and accompanied by coffee.
I’m not too good with photography these days…
Thursday, had the day off. Making me a very happy camper. Still had calls to deal with in the never-ending drama of needing personal carers. I confess I had some fun at the expense of my young carer who got a tongue piercing. Making it impossible to understand her with her tongue swollen. I resorted to suggesting she throw me a few words and I would attempt to make a sentence from them. Couldn’t help myself.
I don’t have any unusual piercings, not my thing. But I found myself explaining to Young John why people might get their tongues pierced? That wasn’t awkward at all. Speaking of Young John, still got that damn song in my head. “Shuddup-a-your face!”
Friday ended with a large pot of bolognaise sauce in my slow cooker. Yield? About 8.5 bottles.
Which might explain why my left hip hurt Saturday. Some weird thing even the physiotherapists can’t explain. When I do too much or lift heavy things, I shouldn’t one-handed my left hip hurts. Yes, it super-awesome! Not!
Managed a whole comic this week, I know, only one, but I did get to replenish the pile in the lounge to get through in the coming weeks.
Single girl date night included the “Guardians of the Galaxy’ which I finally saw in full and much TV was watched. It sometimes feels like my appointments and visionary achievements (TV Shows) really do mark the passing of time and there is nothing major to report. Really feel like I’m treading water and not making any significant mark on this planet.
The weekend was spent otherwise off-grid. Just the way I like it and now it’s Monday and the crazy starts all over again.
Big week huh? I can do without so much excitement this week. Please?
Cheers,
H
So, there are times I’m at a clinic where there is little privacy. Such as my acupuncturist and physio work simultaneously. At times, you zone out, like when you work in an open-air office. You hear someone telling the Physiotherapist explaining the pain someone is experiencing is coming from somewhere completely different. After some massage of the affected area, they are sent on their way and I hear them ask “what if it keeps hurting?” And I hear him say to stop what they are doing. My impulse control proves lacking when I mutter from behind the curtain “more pain” insane!
Other times, a woman asks the younger physio if he’s going to use needles. He joyfully responds “first we’re going to electrocute you! Then we’re going to stab you!” He does dry needling. She murmurs her reply…
Again, waiting to create some humour, I call out “put me down for some of that.” And they laugh
To be clear, I’ve heard that physio use that line dozens of times and I could help it no longer.
Other times my impulse control is very useful for others present.
In my late 20’s I was sitting in a GP’s clinic waiting room in the country. A mum came in with her son, who was about 6 years old, my mum was there also. The young boy asked his mum a very strange question. “Mum, what’s an Orgasm?”
Oh, dear God! She looked so uncomfortable. I raised my hand off my knee in a gesture and met her eyes and offered “I can do that one if you like?” She let me take it, but I’m sure she was holding her breathe, I looked at the boy and said “You know when you’re going to sneeze? And it feels really good, but you’re not sure if you’re going to sneeze? It builds up? Eventually you sneeze and you are relieved?”Snee
The boy looked at me like he understood and he seemed happy.
The mum looked equally relieved.
Kinda felt like I’d had an Atticus Finch moment as I’d explained the sensation without divulging too much. He must have heard the word somewhere. (I don’t know where the 6-year-old kid heard the word Orgasm…)
I’m sure my mum thought I’d not have gotten involved. Sometime, I think my problem with certain thoughts work out better than expected….
I suspect incompetence does my head in, because while I have a ‘busy-brain’ I imagine it’s part of my ‘high-functioning’ ABI that needs me to be very organised and I cope better when services I rely on are organised too.
My services today were fudged (Go Helen) up in so many ways, this morning I ended up not going to the DDAC (Darebin Disability Advisory Committee) meeting and I was so grumpy when one incompetent staff member (who rang me between) asked how I was, I was blunt and honest and growled ‘NOT Great since you guys stuffed up my carer this morning!’
He asked me what happened and I so didn’t have it in me to explain to another person I grumbled ‘NO, you rang me, what for?
Poor bastard!
Eventually I was told a Maria (Carer) would be here ASAP! I presumed it would be my regular who I’ve had the last two mornings.
Twenty minutes later a woman I’d never met arrived who did do a great job despite never having met me before or probably had changed kitty litter before.
No, I don’t use the kitty litter, but my carers change my cat’s kitty litter while I’m in the shower.
Another weird week has passed! Finished three comics and felt a moment of joy at this until I saw an advert for a Comic Con, in the States. The advert stating “Coming in September in 2015!” Growl!
Went out for dinner Tuesday night with some friends. Damo and my Boo. More later on Damo, however my Boo is one of my lovely gay friends who takes us out every now and again for adventures. We went to a ‘Place’ for dinner, prompting me to give people a pop quiz.
What suburb was this place in and what food did they specialise in? It was called Coburger and Co. Hint: There is a suburb in the North of Melbourne called Coburg. This pop quiz really threw a few people and they live here.
It’s going to be a monthly adventure ongoing as it’s good to catch up with friends and have a laugh. My chicken burger with Kim chi set my mouth on Fire!
Wednesday for some crazy reason, I had a weird song in my head that I proceeded to share with Young John and Maria my Chiro who I’ve been seeing for over 12 years.
This song is a bit of an ear-worm so it quickly prompted her to thank me because she couldn’t get it out of her head either. Your welcome! Try the link at the bottom for a taste of Aussie/wog culture from the 80’s! As I prompted Young John….feel free to join in!
This week I decided to call my father. I only see him once a year. The only time I speak to him is if and when I call him. I attempted to express how much I needed his help. How I’ve spent money on new pants in time for winter ($24). How often I do my laundry so I can utilise my warmest tops. I even attempted to express how my fur-baby had been good for my mental health. Let me just say I used to be much better at guilting my father into helping me, because it would seem that’s my role in our family. I will also say it was half an hour of my life I will never get back!
Thought I would have a nice Thursday at home, but while I was at home I instead spent the afternoon chasing up services that didn’t just happen. Really wish my service providers would get their shit together to do their jobs.
Friday morning, I had a visit from a vampire. Taking my blood for a barrage of tests. Said vampire asked when I would see my GP again? It’s ok, if there’s anything noteworthy he will call me. Just checking up on the iron levels and such and the crazy lady hormones.
Not sure if I’ve expressed sufficiently how cold my home is in winter or the cheek I have with my carers however, Friday I gave my carer the Coo-Wee! That signalled I was ready for her help in the bathroom and after a deafening silence I heard the doorbell. Not uncommon however Aunty Christine was in the house this day and she has been one of my regulars for over 4 years. So, only able to throw a towel over one shoulder I padded bare ass naked really to the front door to let her back in. Steam coming off my very warm body and prompting Aunty Christine that she was not yet ready for her apprenticeship to be done.
Come a September I lose these carers I’ve had for the longest. I don’t have any new girls who I imagine will take their place.
Had an extra visit to my favourite cafe with my Friday afternoon carer so that was nice. Home again and smashed out a large slow cooker batch of minestrone the yield was about 8 Passatta bottles (300mls each). It’s always nice to gift someone a bottle of soup in winter when they have done something nice for me. I’m such a Nonna. (BT Dubs, that’s an Italian Grandmother!) I now need to offload half of the minestrone so I can make a batch of bolognaise sauce. Have I mentioned I don’t know how to cook for just one?
Now, despite my best efforts at times at avoiding lifting my slow cooker there are times carers don’t turn up or I can’t find someone to lift the very heavy ceramic bowl up onto the bench or to the sink to soak before washing etc. I imagine I lifted it about five times, which is about half the amount of times it moved in order for me to use it and empty every last drop of the minestrone soup from it. I shouldn’t lift it at all obviously so I do love when I have a carer my age who complains about how heavy it is. I nip their cries in the bud quickly stating “Tell me about it. I moved it one-handed!”
I don’t make a habit of lifting heavy things one handed anymore as I think I can blame doing this for my disc-bulge surgery back in 2011. There are times now when I forget how long that year was getting diagnosed, suitably medicated and eventually surgery on 11/11/11, when I get some stabbing sensation in my lower back and I realise I’ve got to stop lifting heavy things and I’m really not ready for another year existing only by spending all my time lying on my bed.
Single girl date night I watched Trainspotting 2, the sequel to the 90’s film Trainspotting. Not as shocking as the first but a 20-year reunion to see what happened to these characters.
Meanwhile, another week passes and a nice busy week coming. Winter in Melbourne and wet. Super!
Should mention the best way to survive winter in Melbourne is layers, layers and layers. Oh, wool jacket, umbrella and great coffee! Handy hint if coming to town! I’ve been wearing wool under my jackets for months, I can only go one further by wearing my long-sleeved wool jacket under my heavier jacket. It’s already next Level.
The only upside is the very brilliant TV series filmed in Melbourne called Offspring has returned. If you have the opportunity watch it!
I imagine Irony has taken on a whole new meaning since I’ve developed my disability and it’s going to require some explaining so hang tight and buckle in!
HACC Services provide my carers through State Funding. It subsidises the fees so instead of me paying $40.00 per hour, I only pay $2.00. I get a carer 3 – 4 days a week for an hour and on Fridays I have shopping or Homecare, it all starts to add up.
With the roll-out of the NDIS, the council still gets funding from that bucket of money, but because they will be expected to offer more hours to their clients, they would rather utilise that funding in other ways.
Like ‘Tourism’, apparently, I have no idea! Don’t ask!
That is another point for another day.
I digress, my council also has a DAC! Sorry, another acronym – Disability Advisory Committee.
It is very heavy on council staff, such as ‘Tourism’ and service providers. However, the irony is this: ‘My council loves people like me to go volunteer my time to share my opinion and input so they can better service their community.
A survey I participated in recently, tells me they are far more interested in not offending the LBTG community, than looking after the people with disabilities and when I say that I’m not meaning any disrespect to Gays (love them) Lesbians (Thespians as I like to call them), bi-sexual (yeah, I know, you just love people to work it out and when you decide, let me know), Transgenders.
Be brave! Be who you want to be (anyone else has another opinion, you should do what’s right for you and let everyone else do what’s right for them)
Hope I adequately explain my opinion, quickly and succinctly on all those topics!
The bottom line is I don’t have time to give my time for meaningless surveys.
I’m thinking to rename my Wednesday Pinchy/Stabby day to include Mental Health somehow. Because that is what I’m working on by the appointments I keep every Wednesday and yummy lunch never hurts.
I just had some friendly banter with the Barista on my way past. The owner Rob is looking rather slim lately so I suggested one of these days if I can’t buy any of my favoured options, I could resort to a nice salad with my latte.
Would that be healthy? Or counter-productive?
Turns out Rob the owner has hit the gym. I delivered the Barista a friendly STFU because I can’t go to the gym.
Or I wouldn’t be able to do it justice so it would do my head in.
So, on today’s lunch menu is another Arancini, In the form of a Zucca Arancini with a side salad.
Not much to bang on about for the week that was…….didn’t feel like I ‘kicked any goals’ so to speak.
My mum was down literally for only 24 hours in which time we drove several suburbs out of our way to get my new Dripolator coffee machine. Don’t ask……….Mum was actually down for a medical appointment of her own so once in the electrical goods store when mum mentioned where she was from and what she had come down to, (medical appointment) the staff murmured a noise of concern. (You know how woman do?) I cut the tone short by saying “It’s ok, she going to live forever!” Then they presumed I was not thrilled by this prospect. So, I had to dispel that also. I paid for my new medicine machine (coffee maker!) and mum of course stated she was there to carry it to the car. I growled at her that the box was full of plastic and air, as if she should stop complaining and because we always compete as to who gets the last word I snapped out; ” It’s because of me we get a carpark right next to the door!” I gave a coy smile to the startled staff and turned to head for the door. They laughed!
This is pretty stock standard of my mum and my level of communication. We don’t hold back if one of us things the other is deserving of a “Fuck off!” Or a “Whatever!” And it has taken 10 years for us to reach this point. Don’t be concerned, it’s a positive.
Sometimes I wonder how other bloggers go about ‘naming and shaming’ poor attitudes of family and friends and if they worry about backlash? But I understand my family might occasionally look at my blog but largely don’t bother. That said, I heard this week my younger sister (I’ll point out arrived just shy of my 15th birthday) is just starting 4 weeks of leave from her work. I offered she could come and visit a few days, we could hang out, go places, do things. Visit the Van Gogh exhibition at the NGV?
This quiet not confident offer was suggested on Facebook, the way distant family communicate. I was swiftly dealt a curt, “Nope!” I offered she could think about it a bit longer before deciding. Did I mention I changed this sibling’s nappies 28 years ago? And I see my sisters usually once a year.
Said younger sister, well deserving of her holiday. Not untrue, just doesn’t get my call for a visit and I couldn’t be bothered poking this bear. Leaving me a little sad. Does anyone else have a suggestion on how to prod family in a way I won’t have my one good hand bitten off?
And yes, like I mentioned I don’t think my family will read this since I have proof I have more Impact on people around the world from me than my own blood. Nothing like feeling like your living outside a family, trying to look in.
Feel free to give me a Like so I know you stopped by.
Otherwise, the week saw 2 comics move locations this week. No new posts written in pen on paper. A visit to the city to see my shrink. Did a workout (one-handed) on a photocopier of the next 40 posts to post to the lovely Noelle my Administrator.
Discovered my new favourite card shop in the city. Found completely on a whim, and was even able to replace my oven timer for baking accuracy. Didn’t realise how heavy it was until I got home. My bag was so heavy on Monday!
Got some big numbers on my pedometer this week. 4,444 – 5,739 and today a neat 69! My left foot is really paying for it. Often those busy days I can’t feel my left foot until it HURTS! So clearly not happy I still don’t have my NDIA funded shoes!
Had my once-yearly haircut this week, only 9 months overdue. I’ve given up paying rent on time and prioritised things I want/need instead. I asked my hairdresser for a discount on my trim (B.T. dubs:3 inches) and I’ve never felt so humiliated for being poor but wanting to be treated like everybody else. How dare I imagine I was allowed to? Left me feeling rather sad and sick and unpampered. (I didn’t get a wash or a blow dry and she was still put out for not respecting she was running a business) very sad face!
Still plenty of issues managing my HR, (Human Resources/carers) but it’s an ongoing issue.
Single girl date night saw me watch Underworld. Blood Wars. Mostly, I single tasked but it’s always a challenge………
With the plunger coffee finally put to rest with the new medicine machine I posed the question of a few trusted advisors, plunger coffee or no coffee? In the same tone as bad sex or no sex? The answer was neither in case anyone asks?
Sensory deprivation is a weird thing. But I can best describe it as this; When I was about 23 years old having a tickle fest with a boyfriend, I was much less ticklish on my left and that was before my “stroke, not stroke.”
There have been times I’ve been leaning forward digging around my front loader washing machine and I go to slam the door shut and I have an intense pain in my left hand. Crap! My left arm has dangled forward and my hand has found its way inside the door, minor problem, but other times like yesterday, I took an oven tray from the oven, put it on the stove top and moved slightly to the right to work on the small amount of bench space to the right of the stove.
Took me a moment or three to feel an annoyance to my left hand. It was an annoyance until it hurt and I stopped what I was doing to investigate. My left hand was leaning against the tray I removed it and continued with the task at hand. (no pun intended).
Hours later, I was sitting on the couch (seriously, 7 hours later) and I was scratching at an annoyance on my left hand, then I stated rubbing it.
Finally, I looked at my hand, yes, I had burnt it and I’d broken the skin.
Cream, bandaid and off to bed.
So, this is often how sensory or sensation awareness plays out particularly when you’ve lost some…
Melbourne
Hand
Hell onWheels/Life One Handed 