Life one Handed

All posts tagged Life one Handed

Grumble for Help

Published April 1, 2019 by helentastic67

Grumble for help

Grumble for help

It is often a challenge for people to know when to offer help to someone with a disability and when to politely want to be asked. Ironically, I often am asked by people if they should ask at all. I am fiercely independent and I recently had a conversation on this exact same topic with my carer, whom I go out shopping with and do my only food preparation days with.

Do You Need Help

We agreed, I will attempt everything first, I might give out noisy, grumpy sounds as I struggle and when I swear a little, it’s probably still okay. But if I sound frustrated, that’s when she knows to offer assistance.

When to offer help

That’s also what I love about this particular carer.

Love carer

I’m More Than Just a Stroke

Published March 29, 2019 by helentastic67

More than just my stroke

I’m More Than Just a Stroke

There is so much judgement to having a stroke. Normally I get it by just a look sent my way from someone in passing. I usually notice it and go for the wry smile anyway. I prefer to kill with kindness.

The look

Sometimes others witness this judgement and they take care of it too. To be clear my mum personalises every single slight that happens to me. So, she reacts like it’s all happening to her. She can’t help herself.

Mum

But the carer while arranging her social engagements for the Sunday afternoon, she told her friend she had me in the morning. She described me as and in the context of “Helen’s forty-five and had a stroke.” Something about the tone she used, I responded with a “Yes?” with the end of the word lifted. Raised my eyebrows some. She sniggered a little and seemed reluctant to share.

Sniggering 1

Her friend’s judgement was swift “forty-five and had a stroke? That’s young for a stroke.”

I reminded her I’d been in my late thirties, but she informed me that he had put him (her friend) in his place, that I hadn’t been a drinker or a smoker.

Drinker and Smoker 1

Big love her way. Bless her cotton socks.

But I reassured her, I’m used to that level of judgement from complete strangers. I told her it was fine, I wasn’t even offended. I had a fairly thick skin in some ways these days and I will growl a questioning grumpy “What?” at someone who gives me a look of disrespect or I will give them a “FUCK YOU” if needed.

Fuck you

So, there are times, it’s just not worth it to need to advocate every single time someone disrespects me or I wouldn’t leave the house or answer the phone or deal with family. I would just stay home and wait to die.

Waiting to die

I do of course reward and thank people who take the time to simply step out of my way, so I can pass and I don’t make a big thing of it, so I incline my head slightly and give them a quiet thank you in their direction.

Thank you

 

Today’s Lunch – 27th March 2019

Published March 27, 2019 by helentastic67

Today Lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

I have two things to celebrate this week, both very slow-burn achievements. One, only I am the beneficiary, the other the whole apartment building I live in benefits. Feeling like a win-win!!!
Firstly, I got my clothes dryer, it was fully funded. Thank you, St Vincent de Paul, below is a photo of my European laundry. Well, the doors to it, in my main bathroom. Then the doors open. Then the third is just of the dryer. This will save me 90 minutes every night in winter from having to bring in my washing from the racks on the balcony and hanging them a second time in my study. It’s not always cool enough to put on the heater in my apartment. I might start getting to bed before 1am. Maybe?

Dryer cupboardDryer 1Dryer 2Dryer 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The other win, is that the whole building had its windows cleaned. I have been asking since last spring as it’s normally something I get done at that time. I was out at an exhibition opening of a friend from high school, 100 years ago (exaggeration much) and came home to lovely sparkling clean windows! I understand they may never have been done before.

This is my friend Fran O’Neil and I in front of her work. Fran spends part of the year in New York. Go Fran!

Fran and I 1Fran and I 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And a nice lunch back at my regular haunt. Very happy.  A pumpkin and spinach arancini with side salad and medicine.

AraciniLatte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers H

$8.69 – Part 2

Published March 25, 2019 by helentastic67

$8 69 1

$8.69 Part 2

I feel I should point out why I think I managed to get a reduction in my rent, because I suspect it’s partly to do with the type of property I rent.

Rent Reduction

I got lucky last year and got a property in a scheme that’s part of an affordability scheme called NRAS. No idea, but might find you a link. https://www.nrasvic.com.au/

But the basic premise goes like this, I think it comes under state funding (as opposed to federal) just a fancy term for a different bucket of money. All new builds where there is an excess of 30 apartments on the one site, the owner is offered a tax incentive that a percentage (small) be offered as part of this scheme where they get less rent than current value and the loss in rent is given to them as a tax deduction.

Tax Scheme

The potential range of tenant’s must be low income, I actually had to prove I earned less than $45,000 per year. Um? I’ve never earned that much, so if this scheme had been around, I would always have been eligible.

Low Income

FML

But still, there are seven properties in my building, or considering the number of apartments on site, there might be more. I know there are ‘owner-occupiers’ and a reasonable turn-over of properties being sold.

Low Income Tennants

The scheme runs for ten years and hopefully, depending on the market (property) they will continue for another ten years.

Over all I much appreciate living amongst “Normal” people. As I’ve lived opposite some public housing, I barely coped with that. I wouldn’t have survived living in that public housing. I’m not being a snob, I happily waved and took time to chat to some of the tenants, I gave my compost to a lovely Chinese lady for her garden and the young single dad, I gave away muffins and goodies. But I don’t need to live amongst the drug dealers and crazy people who strangle their cats because I was “listening” to their conversations. I wouldn’t hear you do your phone banking if you didn’t do it on your front balcony.

Live amongst normal people

Yeah, that guy turned out to be Schizophrenic.

Disclaimer: Not everyone in Public Housing is a drug dealer or schizophrenic.

$8.69 – Part 1

Published March 22, 2019 by helentastic67

8 69 Part 1

$8.69 Part 1

$8.69, $8.69, $8.69 ad nauseum!

So, I moved into the apartment in late 2017 and had my first inspection in March. So far so good. Then I was asked if I could be available for another walk-through, about four months into my twelve-month lease.

First Inspection

I confess, to say even knowing the rental law for twenty years of renting etc, I was concerned. I had asked for the OK to get my fur baby, had been less for over a year now and sad. Still so sad.

Permission Fur Baby

So, I also started to worry this extra visit was related. Eventually, my property manager told me they had to bring through a guy to ‘value’ the property.

Value property

Oh, my God, what’s happening? Please don’t sell. I just go here.  You have no idea the drama it is to move when you have a disability. How much goes astray, how much I would sell, that gets given away, thrown away, donated, LOST, damaged, when you are one-handed.

Moving House

Anyway, the property manager bought the quiet man through and it was all very sterile and efficient. Not complaining but, my home wasn’t as clean as it had been for the inspection and of course, I was stressed so over thinking. A few months later, I received and email. It was late at night when I got to my email, that day. I thought – Cat? Or what? Oh, no! What? OMG, I got what?

Rent reduction

 

A RENT REDUCTION? WTF?

Small rent reduction

When do you ever hear about that?

Okay, it wasn’t much, yes, you guessed it. It was only $8.69 per month. But whose complaining.

OMG

I haven’t mentally spent it yet. However, I’m breathing a small sigh of relief.

How to spend it

So Cat?

Cat So

Today’s Lunch – 20th March 2019

Published March 20, 2019 by helentastic67

Todays Lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

The last few days I’ve been contemplating how to tell you all something. I have a few followers that are obviously of a very strong catholic faith, shall I say. For the rest of you, I’ll put your minds at rest. There is NO GOD! And I say this because I have a cold!

No God 1

I know, shocking right? I’m sure to cover my reasoning and beliefs in the faith department one day. Not sure if I have already, or not. But I will.

Faith

When I get a cold, the spasticity in my left arm is not fun, it shakes uncontrollably. Hope it doesn’t in public.

I have a cold

I haven’t been able to tell if I’ve had hot flushes or a fever but I just happened to be seeing my GP yesterday and he agreed it’s a fever. So, drugs! Yay! Me! Please be the ones that help me shed some pounds. I do already have the probiotics you should take with them.

Fever

I thought to empty my waste paper basket of tissues before my Wednesday carer arrived because she is acting like I’m contagious and I’ve got the Black Plague, lord love her! (She’s going to read this and growl!) I told my GP I tried to separate two black garbage bags and I couldn’t so quickly throw them aside. He told me they can be hard with two hands. I put it down to Child-Proof and therefore, sometimes Helen-Proof!

Contaminated

I usually have a stockpile of tissues in my home and I burnt through that in two days. Good thing I live close to the German shop we all love. Stopped in and got enough to last a few more days. On Friday I can have some real drugs, Antibiotics.

Tissues

Meanwhile, today’s lunch, somewhere different today! Lamb pizza with lemon and my medicine!

Lamb PizzaLatte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And a picture of Mika finally having discovered her new toy.

Mika and toy

Cheers,
H

Waiting Game

Published March 18, 2019 by helentastic67

Waiting Game

Waiting Game

(By not responding, you are saying you would rather I was dead. Let that be on your Conscience)

I often wonder if people know or realise what it’s like to be kept waiting? I know we are all so impatient and then younger generation (I’m sounding like an old lady) I know SHUDDUP with first world problems. But really!

Realize

Keeping in mind, despite my sometimes ‘good-cheer’ I still have the underlying mental health issues of depression and anxiety, so I’m making a stand. It’s fucking important.

Please Reply

If I send you a message, reply!

It’s a possibility I need your help or I need something. If I don’t hear back, I’ll not stop messaging you. I will consider everyone else in the world has a busy life, a significant other, husband, wife, kids, a job, holidays, pets and a mortgage.

Busy lives

Don’t worry, I fucking know, you have all the things in the world that I don’t have. It’s usually why I leave you alone. I let people live their lives, I keep myself busy. This is why I watch soooo much TV. But, if I message you in any way, shape or form, please respond.

Watching TV

I’ve had some people (family, yes, I said it) who feel pestered when I continually message them. Let me tell you what it’s like when I’m playing the waiting game. I over think, I stress, then I feel like I’m an annoyance. I feel like you think, life would be easier for everyone if I wasn’t here.

Depresssion and family

So, if you have a friend or a family member that reaches out and you KNOW THEY SUFFER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. REPLY!

Mental Health Issues

Take a moment, because sometimes for those waiting for a reply means so much and takes so little.

Show you care 1

 

Alone

Published March 15, 2019 by helentastic67

Alone

Alone

Every night I sit on my couch with my cordless phone, on the off chance a family member thinks to give me a call. But do they? NO.

Sitting on couch 1

Social media is the same, I message a friend and I’m lucky if they reply, I realise I like to book a committed catch up to see people. Coffee, lunch, a film maybe. Something? But I can be content with a reply, a reply and telling me what you are doing is still nice.

Sitting on couch

It’s not lost on me that others are busy, they have all the things I don’t. Family, a significant other, kids, no kids. For crying out loud. I get it. I am without a job, a mortgage, holidays to plan.

Things I dont have

Would it kill people to send me a message? I initiate all contact with friends. I have friends that are tired and busy and they still make time for me, for lunch or something. When I see them, they commit to being sociable with me. We have enthusiastic, intellectual conversations. It is nice, it is rare.

Intelligent Conversation

I completely get that people think I’m bitching, whinging and moaning, because they only ever see me when I’m at my best. They only see me ‘smash-it-out’ they don’t see me when simply rolling over in bed makes me want to hurl.

Bitching and Moaning

Today’s Lunch – 13th March 2019

Published March 13, 2019 by helentastic67

Todays Lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Today, I am going to start with a free gift. What? I know. I never. Your welcome! Wait, what?

Free Gift

You know I’m part of a self-advocacy group of people with brain injuries and a project was to create an App for free download to help people anywhere in the world with brain injuries. Or not……who want to see me live! And talking……..if you dare.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.braininjurymatters.abiwise&hl=en

Yeah, it’s when I realised, I’ve a face for radio, but full disclosure, I am very low maintenance these days and no matter what I always look stoned or hungover. Awful when you are never either. I’m just tired and after a long weekend and an early start Tuesday shy of a migraine! Yeah, that was yesterday.

Looking stoned

Oh, met some people from just south of Seattle in the city yesterday. I took them part way on my way to the Pancake Parlour, as they just looked lost. I love offering complete strangers in the city directions. It’s even better when I know where they are wanting to go. Too easy! They were really lovely.

Giving directions

Happy to be doing my usual punchy/stabby day! Really need to be well-adjusted today and even better to have a nice lunch, today’s lunch is Calabrese pizza with the side salad and my medicine.

PizzaLatte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the birthday cupcake extravaganza I presented my carer on Monday and the French Toast I made her, complete with cuppa tea in my wonder woman mug. (Yeah, she is!)

Birthday muffinFrench Toast

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers,
H

 

Adapt

Published March 11, 2019 by helentastic67

Adapt

Adapt

Now, for some light and shade. If you just turned ‘twenty-three’ it was pretty dark times. Although this story stems from a purchase from back then.

Improvise

When I finally got a queen-sized bed (my dad made me a sleigh bed) but more about that later. I bought some affordable pine furniture to fill my bedroom, two bedside tables, a tall boy with a large blanket drawer down the bottom and an upright bookcase with nice moulding on the top.

Pine furniture

Now, I said it was affordable, I meant cheap. However, I added some raw amber water-based paint, some patina (antiquing medium) and some polyurethane in a satin finish and more than a single effort with the sandpaper and what can I say? Carpenters daughter, right here.

Painting

Anyway, that’s the background, the tall boy in my current home lives in the ‘return’. File under ‘apartment living’, all new builds must have a window to every bedroom. That means my bedroom has a hallway like space to the window, where I have put my DVD, bookcases and the tall boy (and anything else that didn’t fit anywhere).

Bookcase

So, being one handed and because I don’t stand in front of the tall boy to get the draws open and closed (I did say cheap right? The draws aren’t on runners) making opening one-handed painful and the trials and dilemmas on being one handed and having limited space. I reached down and was hitting the drawer on both ends to get the thing closed.

Open draw

That’s all background you need so next is the punchline so I hope you stayed with me.

So, recently late one night, putting my clothes away, thinking I might even make it to be by 1am. (Yeah, it’s a realistic goal, even if it’s not one that makes my shrink happy) I obviously hit the tall boy draw one too many times, rather vigorously and the candle stick on top fell off and connected with the top of my head. Yes, it really hurt and yes, I used my favourite word. AND rather than slow it down, it seemed to gather speed as it hurtled towards my foot.

Kicking furniture

Which foot? I hear you ask. For those who don’t know or don’t remember, my left foot has been affected by my ‘stroke, not stroke’ as I like to call it.

Stroke no stroke

So, of course it landed on my right foot, because I can fucking feel that one. Sweet Jesus, it hurt so much. Lots of swearing as I hobbled to bed and even days later, here is a photo of my bruised toes.

Bruised toes 1Bruised toes 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Solution? Need to update the tall boy to open with drawers on coasters for easy sliding and good OH&S. Adapt! Adapt! Adapt!

Adapt and learn