Ungrateful

I’m Still Here and Making Pudding

Feeling really flat right now. You know those days it’s all too much and people that should love you don’t pick up what you’re putting down. It’s normally these days I don’t blog because I feel it’s a little too raw. So, I can’t make any good humour about things. Just appreciate I’m still here. I’m doing what I can, putting one foot in front of another planning to die healthy one day, a long time from now.

I’ll likely have more friends and beautifully kind people around me than those related to me. It’s weird at 53, the things I ended up being good at, even one-handed.

Last week I made two puddings the same day. Baked one that day, baked the other the next. Despite not all of Said-Puddings being out of my home, I made another this week. Some of the pudding after trying to deliver to its intended target, twice landed at the post office with the lovely ladies that always are kind and sweet to me. That’s not actually part of their job but I like to reward people with treats I make with love. Just for being who they are.

A friend took the time to visit yesterday while in Melbourne, was in my home while family dropped in for ten whole minutes. Five of which was spent criticizing me for my life choices, etc. She took me for dinner and while she then used public transport to get the two hours home, she kindly took some pudding and muled some to a friend that lives out near her.

Got feedback online late today from family about the expired used by dates on foodie treats, ungrateful the lot of them. No thanks for the delicious lemon tart I considered to get for them from my favourite cafe, costing me more than $10, I got myself one also and shared it with my friend.

I got a message from my friend tonight simply stating feedback on the bread-and-butter pudding. We had touched base earlier today about her arriving safely home and her car starting. For once I got to bed before she got home. Her feedback simply stating, “Your pudding was divine!”

If I could have everything else in life be as easy and productive as my pudding production, I would be a very happy woman. But none of that it seems in in my control.

About a month ago I arrived at my beauticians with a small container of my pudding and I put it in her hands at her front door. She works from home, she exclaimed immediately “It’s still warm!” I told her to take it to her kitchen and eat a spoonful. She came back a minute later with the washed container in her hands. She had inhaled it, then she stated she had half in one spoonful and she couldn’t leave the rest. Never is there a better compliment.

So, can I tell humans related to me if they can’t eat something with a lot of sugar in it, past its used by date to toughen up and eat some concrete. Asking for a friend?

Censorship

When you read this post, please keep in mind I’ve had my brain injury over fifty years and I’m not even fifty yet. I know I only learned of my AVM (Arterio Venous Malformation) when I was thirty-four, but my diagnosis meant many symptoms I’d experienced all my life, finally I had some meaning.

So, I guess it was going to happen sooner or later. I just always imagined it might be a family member that thought to insist I edit my blog. But then, my family would need to read my blog. We all realise blogging is about sharing thoughts, ideas, theories, witty stories (I hope in my case), but thought-provoking stuff. If you don’t like one post or a word, think about why? Have a Conversation. It’s how we learn new things. Get educated.

I didn’t ever think it would be from an ungrateful group I’ve donated ten plus years of my life volunteering for. Talking members off a ledge, explaining and giving context to past endeavours and advocating for all the efforts of past volunteers so everything they have contributed isn’t burnt to the ground.

Seriously, so many emails.

People insisting on using “Reply-All!!!!!” Can people please stop doing that? Just stop it!
So, having been offered an ultimatum. I think nobody will end up thrilled with how this plays out.

I regret in my last post I used the word slut! Note, if you read the post, I was not suggesting sharing a brain injury made people have loose morals or ethics. I regret using this term. I also dislike the fact that a ‘Player’, usually a reference towards loose men as being something to celebrate and receive a pat on the back for perceived conquests and all the terms for a woman that may choose to live a similar lifestyle is ugly and offensive.

From Wikepedia – SlutWalk – Wikipedia Please read the whole article, before commenting.

SlutWalk is a transnational movement^[1] calling for an end to rape culture, including victim blaming and slut shaming of sexual assault victims.^[2] Specifically, participants protest against explaining or excusing rape by referring to any aspect of a woman’s appearance.^[3] The rallies began on April 3, 2011,^[4] in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, after a Toronto Police officer suggested that “women should avoid dressing like sluts”^[5][6] as a precaution against sexual assault. Subsequent rallies have occurred globally.^[7]

The protest takes the form of a march, mainly by young women, where some dress in clothes considered to be “slutty” such as short skirts, stockings and scanty tops. In the various Slutwalks around the world, there are usually speaker meetings and workshops, live music, sign-making sessions, leafleting, open microphones, chanting, dances, martial arts, and receptions or after-parties with refreshments.^[1][8] In many of the rallies and online, women speak publicly for the first time about their identity as rape survivors.^[9][10] The movement’s ideology has been questioned and its methodology criticized by some.

From the Washington Post – SlutWalks and the future of feminism – The Washington Post

While I choose to be single and celibate, as I have done most of my adult life since I was a young adult, when I wasn’t in a relationship. I have had a friend who chose a very different lifestyle. I never judged her and loved to have our catch-up brunches to hear all about them. So, I apologise if anyone was offended and I ask you read the rest of that particular post so you get the context of personalities living with brain injury and how I think I’ve developed my personality in spite of and around my brain injury.

Now, the fall-out to me not doing what I was asked to do (edit offensive words from my previous post) apparently could result in my blog link being removed from the website of the Not for Profit I’ve given my time to as explained above. You have no idea how much I had to negotiate to make that happen in the first place.

But if you know me? You know I don’t give in to such demands. It is MY BLOG after all and later this year I again need the support to remain a voting member on the board to help create change and support worthy projects, etc. and if I don’t get that maybe it’s my time to move on? Maybe I get a little selfish for a while, get it in my community more? Go do coffees and write. I have neglected my writing lately.

I do not know if people realise how busy I really am. But I DONT GOT TIME TO GO OVER SCORCHED EARTH! I’m not doing everything twice!

So lastly, I hope this explains some of the things and settles and calms any ruffled feathers from my previous post. Who knew right? And if you understand, empathise or appreciate what I’m trying to do? Please comment or hit Like!