Special Edition

Published August 23, 2021 by helentastic67

Special Edition

When Melbourne came out of Lockdown for the blink of an eye.

Today is a very special edition of HellOnWheels bought to you by the letters C & not for the obvious reason.

Today was the first day Melbourne was coming out of the harshest lock-down reported in the world. Today was the return of cafes being open and being able to dine in. During lockdown my Girl Wednesday/Friday and I have been doing Car Cafe sitting out the front of, wait for it. Introducing https://www.cavallini.com.au/

Finally, I’m telling you all where I go to eat and caffeine. Also, I write and where even during lock-down I would walk in and be greeted with a “Hi Helen. How are you?”

It’s even more special today, because, anyone want to see Bruce Willis with actual HAIR? You’re welcome!

Now, today’s special offering. I previously just called this the salted caramel, chocolate, chocolate thingy thing, but it’s actually called a Maltalbarno. This week I would arrange several coffee dates here with friends so I can share a slice of this over coffee to help me celebrate and to share the calories. Calorie’s shared is calories halved right?

I wish I could say I’ve been laying low during CoVid lockdown however; you can leave the house for several reasons. Number 1, Medical appointments and I have had plenty. Including a Brain-Scrape (yes, Covid test) I passed. So, I could go have my first Colonoscopy.

Yeah, cos I’m “that” age and because my father had bowel cancer before 60. He survived. Not complaining. But it means, fifteen years before the age he was diagnosed I needed to start getting tested. Super! I was a bit overdue, but I’m good. I passed too. I’m good for another five years.

Just enough time to forget how disgusting the nasty prep drink is. No really. It’s hideous! I will do a post to share my great jokes I gave them before my procedure and the challenge I set myself after the procedure.

I hope you are all staying safe and getting tested for CoVid and well I guess bowel cancer too.

I will also add I’ve seen my father three times this year, I didn’t even see him at Christmas. It’s normally the only time I do get to see him. But I only got to see him because he had a heart attack. For Christ’s sake! He drove himself to hospital (in the country) because, I’m told it’s a “Wog-Thing”! Don’t worry, the nurse gave him a talking too and open heart surgery and three months later he is finally “getting there” so despite the “Fit hitting the Shan” in 2020, we could be coming out of it. Optimism, right?

I’m trying it out. Leave me be.

To be continued………….

Opening Doors

Published August 16, 2021 by helentastic67

Opening Doors

Yesterday I went to the launch of a project I helped with called Opening Doors. I’ve shared the website in the past but in case you missed it. Home – Opening Doors

I met an advocate there, who deals with people who may be in crisis situations and they become her clients. Example: Couple about to take a newborn baby home where they are living in a brother’s garage. They already have a 4-year-old who is in preschool and because I asked questions, you would imagine they could just move into a room inside the house, so what’s the issue? They already have three generations living inside the house, twenty people so, no they are stuck in the garage. The top number one question they would get asked. Are you on the public housing list?

Anyone who is on that list, asks when will they get a home? How long is a piece of string? That is a list you need to be on, but it doesn’t guarantee you will get anything.

So, the significance of one’s home is even more important to anyone with a disability. It’s a place to be safe, to keep one’s precious things, to build important memories, to regroup at the end of the day, to replenish energy, to sleep. Then to get up the next day ready to fight another day.

So, in short, keeping this in mind,

· Brain injury: 47 years

· Moved out of home at 19 years

· Moved lots until 30 years

· Diagnosis of ABI at 34 years

· Since treatment at 30 years, onset of severe disability where I can no longer work and need care.

· Have moved: 4 times!

Keeping in the back of your mind, I had a boyfriend, sorry I thought I had a boyfriend when I first developed my disability. I digress or context done.

As I mentioned my situation to the advocate, how many times I’d had to move since my disability and while in comparison to her clients with the new born baby, I had told a friend that finding decent housemates since my disability had been like getting my heart, soul and wallet robbed by complete strangers. A friend had bitched to me when he had his disability, he had, had to give up his awesome housemates and he couldn’t understand why I had not been more empathetic towards him.

So, I pointed out, while I’d moved four fucking times and had lived by myself for seven years or more, renting. His family bought him a fucking house! Now admittedly his house is in the outer suburbs, he owned the house. No renting.

and now 10-15 years later, he’s moved into an apartment in Abbotsford where he can walk to the city and he still thinks I should be all empathetic towards his plight.

Sound bitchy don’t I? Yeah, the inner bitch comes out occasionally.

Community

Published August 9, 2021 by helentastic67

Community

So, one of the amazing things about having carers is they bring with them stories and a sense of community. They share stories about their friends and other clients.

One of my carers has been dipping her foot back into dating and she quoted some male online dating guru, by stating, “women need to get rid of their lists!”

I’m sorry (a little defensive) what? Well, yeah that’s probably right.

So, she gave me her short list of three.

1. Nice person

2. Got their shit together

3. Nice d**k! (Hint, that word is not duck!)

I think this is fair. It’s three rather concise, necessary requirements.

So, sometimes I get lucky with the right kind of sass and I get to share. You’re welcome.

The Ex

Published August 2, 2021 by helentastic67

The Ex

There are days I have plenty of sad topics to cover but I like to find a positive from a negative. Take my ex-boyfriend. No really, take him!

I will liken him to Wentworth Miller (actor). Are you familiar with him? I’ll help, Prison Break. Full body tattoos, yeah!!!! Deep breath and Gay. Yep, ladies can’t have him. He’s into guys, which is fine. I used to have a picture of him on a pinboard. C’mon, we all did. It’s nice to dream.

But gay? Gay! We’re fine. The other team scores another one but my ex, I digress, poster on my pinboard and my stepdaughter (yeah, it was brief, at the time I had a step-daughter.)

She asked her dad if the photo was of him? He looked at me and I smiled a little and shook my head. Now, I thought we had been together about four years, but apparently, we had not been. I guess because he sent mixed messages. I like provincial furniture and decorations. He suggested if I could save some money, we could have a trip to France.

Me, now? So, I can have another fucking holiday to the most romantic place in the world with a so-called boyfriend who didn’t have the same ideas for our relationship that I did. FUCK NO! Thank you.

A Little Variety

Published July 26, 2021 by helentastic67

A Little Variety

Because we all need a bit if variety, and because sometimes we need a little light and shade. Do you remember jokes from your childhood that seem to have been lost?

This is maybe the first joke I remember as a kid in the 70’s in Australia. You are welcome.

There are two kids playing out in the street. Called Shut-Up and Trouble. They got separated and a policeman found one of them and asked him.

“What’s your name son?”

“Shut-Up!”

The policeman, thinking the kid was giving him some attitude repeated, “What’s your name son?”

“Shut-Up!”

The policeman, “You looking for trouble?”

Mmmmm…. Good times.

It’s a clean joke though, you have to admit it. I have not thought about this joke in years.

High Density Living

Published July 19, 2021 by helentastic67

Melbourne city, apartments, high density areas.

High Density Living

These days high density living in inner city Melbourne has become the norm just like everywhere else.

There are all kinds of short cuts developers take to get more levels in but at a cost to quality. I overhead a story recently while getting a treatment in Collingwood at my free clinic.

A patient (or client) in the next cubicle stated he had a friend who had paid $750,000 for an apartment in that area and when he heard the kettle in the kitchen next door to his place going off, he knew it was time to move further out. He’s lucky it was just the kettle.

Owner’s Corp

Published July 12, 2021 by helentastic67

Owner’s Corp

Occasionally I will circle back to topics I’ve touched on before like apartment living. Yeah! That – and this is one of those.

As I currently live in a large apartment complex in an NRAS (National Rental Affordability Scheme) property. I rent, I do not own but, major issues still go to my property manager (she managed seven in this building) then go to the Body Corp. A faceless entity that do what exactly I can’t always tell.

After months and months of hearing all kinds of power tools coming from upstairs at all kinds of times during the day and onwards last night at 11pm, I heard the subtle pat of a mallet. Now, keep in mind as a carpenter’s daughter I can pick a drop saw which I’ve also heard but this was different and it was at a time when they damn well knew it was too late to be renovating.

Now, I think the tenants above me have had an equal passion for renovating as they do for an intense dislike of their bedhead, because they keep insisting on slamming it against the wall with annoying repetition at all-times.

So, I record the renovating sounds coming from upstairs, forwarded them on to my property manager, to highlight the poor timing of the work being done.

She has stated she has passed it onto the Body Corp. One of my neighbours is an Owner/Occupier and she has already fed the information to the Owner’s Corp. I’m not holding my breath. This seems to be how that works.

Fall

Published July 5, 2021 by helentastic67

Fall

I think this gets filed under ‘people say the dumbest things.’ People often ask me about my falls? How often I fall? When was the last fall? When I fall, do I try to land on something soft?

What a stupid fucking question! Here are my priorities, when it comes to falls as anyone with a disability will tell you.

Don’t fall.
Don’t fall and break my one good arm.
Don’t fall and break anything, so I need a 24/7 carer, so they can toilet me. (Also, why I haven’t wanted to get Carpel Tunnel surgery yet!)

BUT LET ME (sorry, shouldn’t yell) assure you, when I fall, you don’t think, there is no plan. It is human nature to put out a hand to try to catch yourself.

This is why a lot of older people break their wrists. That (falls) and Osteoporosis.

However, the last time I had a fall and landed on something soft. I think I got up off my couch and my left foot was tangled in something (I couldn’t feel) and I went down like a sack of potatoes.

My arms were in front of my tummy and I landed on them n the ‘chaise’ part of my old couch. I hit that thing so hard with all of my weight, I bounced back upwards and landed on the carpet on my arse.

So, while not huge (my arse) I did get two soft landings.

Advocacy 101

Published June 28, 2021 by helentastic67

Advocacy 101

So today I thought I’d give you some context for HellOnWheels, and why I blog.

After being part of a self-advocacy group for over 8 years, it would seem as different faces come and go, I still needed to explain to people who I am and what I’m on about.

And basically, why I deserve to have opinions so it would seem.

I asked and offered a blog post to contribute to a newsletter that has been rebooted by a lovely volunteer. So, I was surprised to find my blog contribution still not being included.

I had to ask numerous times. I do have a tendency to follow up and not let things go until I get answers. I think with kids it would be considered ‘pester power!’, but I am not a child nor do I want any.

I was told after someone read one of my posts that “Oh she’s got strong opinions.”

And that was why.

So, this is my explaining why I deserve to have the opinions I have.

Hot off the Press – 15th June 2021

Published June 15, 2021 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

Change does not come easy.

So, I guess my posts these days have become more of a Hot Off the Press edition. Today, I’m writing on a Friday morning and every day this week I’ve been needing the pennies to stop dropping if you feel me.

There is just something fucking new every frigging day, I’m up to pussy’s bow, the end of my rope, not sure my nerves will cope with much more.

You may be aware, earlier this year I may have mentioned my shrink (makes me sound crazier). My psychologist is wanting to retire. WHAT? I know.

She’s mentioned for a while now, over more recent years and I’ve been in denial, obviously at some point she decided she was more and more serious and in 2021, it’s happened. She’s winding down. Very sad face!

You see, I’ve been seeing her for 13 years, I know, still not fixed (That’s a mental health joke!). I tried to entice her to stay, but I haven’t unpacked my baggage from my teenage years yet. I think we all know I have, but she could not be encouraged to work forever.

I asked if I could have half my money back, as I’ve got to start again with someone new.

Anyway, this week I found out why I’ve been unable to nail down my Support Co-coordinator (fancy name for a case manager). I’d been told she was sick, I now also imagine she’s been doing a job trial for her new job, because she’s leaving. Meanwhile, I don’t know if my new shoes have been paid for? Well, they haven’t and I guess now, I’m making sure all the wheels are turning.

Because the NDIA makes sure everyone else gets paid, even if they haven’t been doing their jobs. So, of course I started making calls. Like I don’t have enough to do already? FFS!

Have been meaning to do this blog post for days and yesterday I realized why I hadn’t, all the pennies had yet to drop.

Thursday, found out I’m also getting a new Occupational Therapist (OT). Are you breaking up with me too? So yes. She did too. I’d only had this OT a few months as I’d finally kicked the last rubbish OT to the curb.

2020 is still kicking me in the pants and I’m over having to rehash all the things. FFS!

I need a cheat sheet!

Wednesday, I heard (got a text!), I’m at 81% of my year’s funding and it ends in December. So, I need a review and my support coordinator better bring her A-game.

The NDIA like to give you just enough funding to cover you for 10 months of the year and then you have to go beg for more, by which time they have moved the goal posts to mean you can’t have what you previously had. I also heard the NDIA has trialed a new ‘thing’, it’s called Personas (Independent assessment) and an algorithm.

It’s just a funny way to put us all in little boxes as if we need the same things. We will all hurry the fuck up and go do study, or just get a job and not be a drain on the Australian government. It’s like they realized people with disabilities deserve a normal life and things and human rights. Until they realized how expensive having ethics is. Then they’ve tried to take out the human element so they can be more economized.

Advocacy never ends does it.

On the upside, Smith Street in Collingwood was voted the best street in the world! Voted by the editors of Smith Street has been named the coolest street in the world (timeout.com)

I got to catch up with Noelle last night by phone. I’ve started calling her every few weeks to chat. We were commiserating over how bitterly cold it got all of a sudden. Winter has hit. And Melbourne has come out of lockdown 4.0. We still need to wear masks and Noelle is in Sydney and they do not.

So, I just tease her at least we have heaters in Melbourne. They had their coldest day on record in 37 years yesterday and the rivalry continues between Sydney and Melbourne.

We still have better coffee, art and street culture. I mean they don’t even have a National Gallery, it’s in Canberra. WT Firetruck!? (Trying to swear less, is it working?)