Finding Time

Published December 1, 2025 by helentastic67

Finding Time

I’ve weirdly worked out the best sweet spot for blogging these days. As I’m always too busy to sit in any cafe let alone my favourite cafe in Clifton Hill. Actually, it’s in North Fitzroy. I still get to that cafe every Wednesday as my weekly Chiropractor appointment is very close to there now. However, stopping all the busyness long enough to type some words that tell a story and make sense; to share a lesson or learning, without being distracted.

Impossible! And I’m too easily distracted. Always something I want or need to do that isn’t typing words on a keyboard into an email I’m always drafting. I’ve now been in my forever home a whole year. Can you believe it? The 13th of November was the anniversary, a few months ago I would have said the perfect day/time of the week to sit and blog would be after getting home from physio, with a coffee by my side sitting at my dining table. Music in the background. However, while I should be fanging it home on hellonwheels after a kip at Physio, I would have had enough rest to not want to come home and go to sleep again and miss the perfect time I don’t need to do all the chores one-handed, cook dinner, bring in washing, maybe hand clothes on racks inside, etc, etc. So, it is to say, I’m as per usual behind.

Behind on the Adulting, behind on the responsibilities and the last fifteen plus years of trying to live well with disabilities, trying to maintain some parts of Original Helen and carve out a vision of Future Helen is catching up on me.

My People

Published October 7, 2024 by helentastic67

My People

I use the term “My People” often to refer to people in my life. They can be friends, carers, receptionists at regular appointments I go to or even people I encounter in waiting rooms as I did having my standard weirdo conversations.

Today, a Wednesday, I actually had a different carer today as my regular Girl-Wednesday was off sick. I got to my chiropractor by midday. No easy feat I assure you. But after breakfast in the car on our way, nailed it. I hope you are all aware. Helen is not a morning person.

Managed to get to my favourite North Fitzroy Café, got takeout lunch but still, it counts. Got home, inhaled lunch, sorry, no photo. But then fanged it out to the acupuncture and physio, punched, stabbed and electrocuted all in the same day. I even share a moment of celebration with my Physio that I got to the Grumpy One. It is understood I’m referring to the one that stabs me. I mean, I’m grumpy too but seriously, the stabber takes grumpy to a whole new level. Should put my family in a room with the other grumpy one.

My physio entered the curtained area that I was in. I pointed to the next treatment area stating, “You know, I know someone is in there, right?” Then I point to the shoes down on the floor, the toes pointing in my direction.” And I know they are that person’s shoes?” and he finished the thought process out loud! “If they were in those shoes, they would be staring at us through the curtain?” Me: “Right?” So creepy. He literally bent in half laughing with a hand on his knee.

Honestly, I love my people, and this is why I manage to get through each and every day.

On my way home, fangin’ it and I encountered a portion of footpath blocked off for some kind of maintenance, I had not gone to pee before departing my last appointment and detours were already not on my immediate agenda. A sign directed me to use the “other footpath!” Which to be clear was fifteen metres across the road and I doubt anyone was going to stop traffic to give way to hellonwheels. I detoured down a side street and down a lane way. The cobblestones wreaking havoc to my bladder. Cobblestones are retreats at the best of times and picking the best path does not always mean you can stick to it all the way along. But, alas, I made it to the other end and back to the High Street, continuing my way. Bars had started to open and put out their tables for after work drinkers and socialisers.

I got to the garage entrance in time for someone in their car to open the gate. I fanged it down and rather than the normal fang it to the basement and back to “Open up the motor” that I normally implement. You all realise its powered by two car batteries under my seat, right?

Parked in the shed and hot footed it upstairs, via the lift. Inside, put everything down on the floor, and made a beeline to the main bathroom to the toilet. I’m just saying, disaster averted.

Which leads me to some wise words for future property developers.

Ugly Cry

Published September 23, 2024 by helentastic67

Ugly Cry

Jesus, I wept. I had to say goodbye to some old friends this weekend and I did the ugly cry. Even ice cream didn’t make it easier to bear, I had to pause the show to finish the ice cream so I could use my one good hand to administer tissues! Stat!

If you haven’t worked it out? I was watching the last season of a show I’ve been watching since 2018 and the final season of those show’s I like to save because my friends are still a part of life until I’ve finished it.

The title is a reference to the saying “Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things”. I got this quote from the wiki page, if you haven’t worked it out, the show was called “A Million Little Things” and it’s never too late to watch it.

I started this weekend needing to fast for a blood test. I really don’t love doing adulting on a weekend. (Definition of Adulting is Bra and Shoes) But alas, my Crazy Lady Hormone Doctors requirements are very specific. Vampire visit is required on the twenty first of the month. The upside to Adulting on a Saturday.

Weirdly, then felt hungover all friggin’ day. Which is weird because I don’t drink. Finished my Saturday with hydrolyte and ice cream while weeping and that was after the single feature on my Single Girl Date Nite where I watched the film that made Amber Heard and Johnny Depp household names. I mean “London Fields” was a reasonably decent film leaving you guessing until the end; however, I wasn’t interested in the blow-by-blow account of the court case then, I’m less interested now. If you don’t know, best left that way.

Also still dealing with the fallout from my recent fall. Pun intended. I keep biting my tongue. So, I have to have my Chiropractor adjust my jaw. Not looking forward to that. At least I didn’t knock out my teeth. I know right.

Here’s hoping for a calmer week so I can get some more blogging done. I mean I have a few in here where I’m planning to throw shade at vegans, strap in for that one.

Like the Good Old Days

Published June 10, 2024 by helentastic67

Like the Good Old Days

Sometimes, I think I should revisit the earlier days of HellOnWheels when life was full, as if it’s not now and I used to do a Hot Off the press post.

So, I guess this is reminiscent of those days. Monday, usually a quiet day at home but not always. Had a video chat with a new carer agency. Proof that every now and again the stuff set in concrete moves and you need to ride the waves of change to keep the boat upright. Is that a good analogy or what. Note, not a question.

Dropped off an old doona, its cover and some pants to an op shop on HellOnWheels, local adventure and went to a business to break a note and drop off some takeaway coffee cups that my carers keep insisting on bringing into my home. Then for the weirdest drug deal ever. You know I don’t do drugs and even in my club days didn’t. So, I think this topic deserves its own post. Went to physio after running into said Physio at the local business in question. Gave him some smack talk suggesting to lessen the imminent pain he was about to cause his patients, to have a nice chamomile tea. He didn’t.

Tuesday had an extra four-hour shift with one of my favourite carers. I know like parents with their kids, you don’t have favourites you just love them differently. When the two Helens get together, we get stuff done. We even did a little local adventure. A regular lady I am friendly with in my travels noticed a different face out with me and asked if she was my sister? Sure, why not?

Admin Day, things were started, booked and we did a little real estate searching. Because, why not? I don’t want to kill myself enough already. Don’t ever look at properties you’ve lived in years earlier and look at the sale history, you will want to kill yourself.

Wednesday, standard chiro. Gave her what’s the term for the – I moved my practice to its new home gift. Was going to go with flowers but they die. Settled on orange Toblerone. The really huge box, I got one for me too and it’s already promised as orange Toblerone mousse in mid-February when some friends come for dinner. They are bringing moussaka, I made lasagna last time and they brought a delicious selection of tiny cakes. Crowd pleaser. It’s a good way to do a dinner party these days. Delivered a bag of my old well-loved Adidas Gazelles I used to wear prior to life with an AFO, those were the days. Gotta run fast to catch the other Helen.

They will find new homes with young refugees who want to play sport. Likely connecting that carer with that locomotion to donate food that is normally disposed of in the bin. I love connecting my people with my other people. Then went to the toy shop I mentioned previously. This brings us to the end of Wednesday, basically.

January has become the time of year I do spring cleaning, carers, businesses I deal with, services I use, take time off. People with children have lives dictated by school holidays, etc. So, I do stuff. Onward

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I’ll catch up on some data entry, that alone is a never-ending battle.

Hot Off the Press – 27th March 2023

Published March 27, 2023 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

Reminiscent of days gone past, in my earlier Blogging days when one post each week unpacked the chaos, highlights and lowlights of my average week. 2023 seems to have stepped up a notch on my version of hectic.

Monday, had a day trip to Mornington for a meeting. Dropped some cash down there. Came home with a brand-new winter Doona cover and pillowcases. Still do not know why I keep buying the matching pillowcases as I only have one pillow on my bed these days. More than that, get in the way of me being able to see the bedside clock on the other side of the bed.
Also, got to Coffee Traders & Tutti – Fruity.

Don’t know when my migraine set in but it was definitely well rooted Tuesday. These days I have two kinds of migraines, Tuesday I had the kind I can still function doing walking/talking. Weirdly, it’s a pity because I had many calls and emails to do. The kind of calls I had to growl at people. By the time I’d made all my calls I was on a roll and prepared to volunteer to do others calls that required some growling also. My one appointment at home ended up getting cancelled as my young Neurophysio cancelled due to being ill. Me thinks being his turn to bring treats, again he begged off. I’m trying to teach him to take in turns. He’s a sweetheart and I like to tease the young ones.

Wednesday, a late start and off to chiropractor. Even more needed with the migraine. The kind that happens every day ending in “Y”.

Did a few chores arranging my standard gift for bereavement.

My uncle passed a few weeks ago. He had a very short time after diagnosis and then he was gone. Brutal! I didn’t get to go to his funeral as it was Interstate and family didn’t consider including me in their plans to fly. I had briefly toyed with going and taking a carer from Melbourne using NDIS funding. I still would have had to cover their flights and accommodation and funding would have taken at least $1000 hit and then I would have needed to hire a car, honestly. What a drama, so stressful. Even if I could have gone, I would have been so exhausted it would not have mattered, just might have been nice if it had occurred to others to offer to help.

Thursday, another day at home planning to execute my plan of World Domination, a little joke I have. Really, just a plan to survive day to day and make it through the week. Otherwise, a day of rest as my migraine continues.

Friday, my second chiropractic appointment and then and then the usual hunter/gathering including a trip to South Melbourne to see my hand specialist. Had a local anaesthetic then a cortisone shot for my trigger thumb. Not as fun as it sounds, even managed to fit in a fall on Friday, narrowly avoiding landing on a star picket. So glad I missed that.

Finished Friday heading to Collingwood to deliver the other Lilly to my cousin. Thanks to my evening taxi driver Young Deepak. Even Young John would appreciate him. He’s, our people. Dinner at 10pm, emails until late. Nothing new there.

This last week I’ve also been trying to get my head around a new piece of tech. A PVR, I suspect this added to my migraine but how can I tell?

The weekend I try to be as off-grid as possible. So, even Sunday night as I smash out this blog post, I’m already making my outreach calls while I watch a show in the background. At least I’ve a day at home tomorrow.

And my favourite thing about my Friday Wheel-Woman this week. And yes, it had AC and a CD Player. And it’s red.

Fingers crossed this coming week is calmer and less chaotic. Hope you are all doing well? Please hit Like.

Please Don’t Call

Published June 7, 2021 by helentastic67

PLEASE DON’T CALL

I really want to thank you for calling me today to tell me all the things I should be doing. You haven’t responded to any of my friendly messages for months now.

I had some good news to share, but you didn’t ask, nor could I get a word in edgewise. I’ve just had a 4-day weekend on the 4^th lockdown in Melbourne, some appointments cancelled I’d been trying to get done since they didn’t happen in 2020.

Fuck you COVID! No, I really mean it this time!

It is imagined that people with disabilities have not been financially impacted, since we don’t work. We haven’t lost work and why should we matter.

Well, I shall tell you how. Allow me.

These days I do take more ‘healthy pills’ than medications so I can live to the at least 65. I can afford to live till then.

herbal pills in wooden spoon with ginger root, Kaffir lime fruit and flower on dark brown wood background with copy space. Above view.

Shut up! I will explain that expiry date another day.

COVID has meant everyone and their cat and dog has been out buying ‘healthy pills’ to avoid getting or dying from COVID. It’s a fair call. I can’t blame you all. However, many of my healthy pills I buy in bulk so I can get bulk discounts and pay less over time and because my suppliers have had limited stock, they have not allowed me to do this. I’m not talking about truckloads, just 2 x 200 tablets of magnesium. Just an example.

But I don’t need someone who is not on the ‘coal face’ of living on the edge financially and choosing what I’m meant to do without to ‘help’ me decide I can give up my weekly chiropractor visits.

You all realize I have lost many of my pain management appointments due to lockdown, right. And you want me to deal with a rib out as well. The rib still hurts despite being put back in last Friday. It’s Thursday night as I write this.

So, it’s really shitty when people who are meant to love me are awfully opinionated about what I can do when they are not me.

You know that moment when if there was a statistic that said if there was one person in every family of four to have a disability. The only person in your family who could deal with said disability well, it’s you. Yeah, I knew this some years ago.

Now I needed to ask for a loan, quite happy to pay it back. But without even knowing what it was for, you decide to give me a lecture about managing dollars better. Stop helping!

You are upset, because I didn’t ask how you are. It was hard to get a word in edgewise, and I was already having your opinions and the opinions of other people who are not me to get a word in edgewise.

So, now my days is not done, I don’t have the energy to ‘deal’ with anything else today.

I’m feeling really shitty. My head hurts, my left eye is pounding (the indication of my migraine these days). So, I’m going to bed for a cry and a kip.

Now I need to feel like eating sometimes so I can sleep tonight and get up and do all the things again tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the rent gets paid. The lights go on. I’m not starving and I can put one foot in front of another knowing I don’t ask for help often but when I do, I really need it.

Then, maybe I’ll be able to smile a little. Or I can try and if that’s how you are going to be, please don’t call.

Hot off the Press 31st May 2021

Published June 1, 2021 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

A Hot off the Press like no other. Last week I was able to have my visit to Young Betty. We met in Rehab and for just a moment I’ll let you imagine we met in drug-rehab, except we didn’t.

Betty is my 90-years young friend I tease every week day after and before watching a trashy TV show I introduced her to. I’m not even sorry.

Although Betty was not having the best day as it was the 1-year anniversary of the passing of her husband (and a day) and the day of the 4th lockdown in Melbourne F**k You! CoVid! (I might just mean thank you)

Friday, I put a rib out!!!!!!! Nothing! I’m just answering your question. Ok, I was putting on my jacket, then just couldn’t move. Trip to chiropractor (2nd in 3 days!) I actually used a swear word I’ve not used before, she laughed! Thankfully, as I was squirming. It hurt so much. Anyone who speak “Chiropractor” it was L10/11.

Friday night, the tram works began out the front of my apartment complex. I did get a 15 second audio sample of what I referred to as the “Soundtrack of my lockdown!” But didn’t save it. (Don’t even start me on that monumental fail!) Here are some photos instead.

The whole street is closed for a week. For all the noise they are making, they had better be making the new tram stop accessible. Progress, you know. I could Fang it out of the garage on hellonwheels and straight onto a tram, to my local appointments. Wouldn’t that be good?

On the upside to the lockdown, currently only 7 days, is I get a 4-day weekend. So much for catching up on what didn’t happen in 2020. At least I’ve got Mika for company next.

Stay safe.

Cheers,
H

Today’s Lunch – 15th January 2020

Published January 15, 2020 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

After a nice Christmas break, I’m back at my favourite cafe. Most appointments have returned to normal. Visit to my chiropractor I foresee, me well-adjusted finally and tape on my left shoulder. It’s Tuesday night as I tap this out, but I’m predicting my chiropractor will work on my neck and ask if I’ve had a migraine? I will shrug with a “yeah, sure” and she will ask for how long and I will remind her I am 47 now! So, it’s hard to tell? I’m a every week chiro subscriber, because I need it! When I’m struggling with migraines, ribs out of whatever I might go twice or even thrice in a week. If bloody only the NDIA would get onboard! Mustards! (It’s a swear word substitute)

Oh, Monday I had a lovely lady’s lunch with my friend Susanne. We had lunch down in Westgarth and then saw a film. I’m still way behind in my films. I had a hamburger minus the bun, another perfect example of why Helen cannot do Insta? I had already cut into it.

We saw “Little Woman” it was not only women in the audience but every now and again a character would do something (not quite right) and there was a little murmur shared around the cinema, then a giggle. If you haven’t seen it, do. It was really good.

I was also given a compliment yesterday, from a friend. I sent her a photo of how I manage my “Out-Tray” near my front door.

She likened me to her Nana, not appreciating being liked to an elderly lady. Hey! It’s okay when I do it? As I refer to myself as a Nona all the time. She responded with her Nana was the most productive woman she has ever known. I’ll take it.

And finally, before the storm hits today to put out some fires and dampen the smoke haze, lunch today is, the old classic pancetta quiche with side salad and medicine! Happy!

Cheers,
H

Retirement

Published June 24, 2019 by helentastic67

Retirement

I have a term for my form of retirement. It’s bullshit retirement where I’m poor, I’m underpaid, I have no holidays, no grandchildren to tend or husband (Yes, I’ve always wanted one, but it just hasn’t happened) and despite being retired, my week is pretty full.

In a perfect week, this is what my diary looks like:

Monday- Shrink, Medicare (the other bank) Osteo, admin, emails, blogging, brain training, bed.

Tuesday – Remedial, GP, admin, emails, blogging, sleep.

Wednesday – Chiropractor, acupuncture, blogging, admin, emails, some self-advocacy, sleep.

Thursday – Cleaning at home, data entry, admin, emails, sleep. At this point you might be thinking ‘What’s with all the sleep?’ You need sleep every night. I seem to these days and I get to bed so late and it’s noisy and I get woken up over and over again. I’m just impressed I’ve banished the afternoon kip during the week.

Friday – a carer for shopping where we get all the hunter/gathering done, any extra shopping I need, any serious cooking as a one-off for the week. Admin, brain training and emails.

Saturday and Sunday – I try to go off-grid on the weekend. No emails, no social media, no mobile phone. Note, I used the word ‘try’ I can’t let it slide completely or else Monday, I would have too much to catch up on.

Over the whole week with phone calls to keep all the balls in the air (euphemism for juggling) emails/calls to keep my home in working order.

Start everyday with a personal carer for one – one and half hours, so I can leave the house fresh and presentable to be seen in public. End most days taking washing off the racks on my balcony and then often having to hang the washing on other racks inside to complete drying, unpack/repack dishwasher process the mail and bills that come in, pay the bills or schedule when I can afford to pay them, order products to keep my independence needs next. This is why I try (there’s that word again) to go off-grid on the weekends.

Weekends are for sleeping, eating, watching TV, sleeping some more, then on a Saturday night forcing myself to do absolutely nothing by putting on a film where all of my attention is taken up by single tasking. Do you get ‘Single tasking’ is a dirty word to me?

All the balls don’t stay in the air by single tasking and if some of these things seem a bit of a luxury and that I’m super lucky. They are not. All of these things need to happen like clockwork, so I maintain at least the level of independence I have now and preferably no less.

Oh, there are also the once a month committee meetings or the ‘other’ bi-monthly committee meetings I participate in to give life meaning. It’s getting monotonous, there aren’t many exciting things to look forward to.

Oh, did we notice an absence of three regular meals a day? Yeah, I prepare in advance back-up breakfasts I can pack and have on the go, on trams, trains or have lunch at 5pm, when I get home. It’s not a great plan, but it’s what it is.

I would have been happy to work until 70 because it would have meant I would have been able to and I would have a decent comfortable standard of living and life.

Hence, my term a ‘Bullshit form of retirement’.

Today’s Lunch – Yesterday

Published May 17, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch – Yesterday

Apologies for the delay with my Good Mental Health day post!

Have been in the city the last 2 days. I love the city. Love it! But I need my standard calm but scheduled punchy-stabby day!

Monday, had a migraine kept closing my eyes on the tram home as I was not coping and a smelly junkie sat next to me. I mean, c’mon! Dude! He had the nods, so I couldn’t tell if people were giving me sympathetic looks because a junkie sat beside me or if they thought we were both junkies. A much older lady who looked to have had a long life as a junkie was chatting to him then me also. Kill me! Kill me now! KMKMKMKM.