Analogies

Published April 21, 2025 by helentastic67

Analogies

My brain is very busy with analogy’s today, it’s either a good or a terrible day to blog. So, we will see how it goes. You probably want an analogy now? You can wait.

I present really well for someone who’s had a brain injury for fifty-two-years. My carers tell me this all the time, because we discuss that in person, people are oblivious to what’s going on behind the scenes. But, in reality what’s going on up “there” feels like a bag of rattlesnakes. Thats 1 (Analogy delivered!)

I wonder if people realise there are days up “there” is like having five people with ABI’s, five people with depression or anxiety and five people on the spectrum in a room. Shaken and stirred, rather like the rattle snakes in a bag, right? And I suggest, within a few hours the room above will look like some kind of mass casualty has occurred. Think blood, trauma. Mass casualties, I realise, for many this is going way too far. But I’m making a point.

Up “there!” in my brain, there is so much chaos. Just anarchy, and I know it’s happening.
I just can’t stop it. It’s so busy I just try to get through the tasks as best as possible leaving as few people scathed as possible.

This is why people like me spend a lot of time self-isolating. It’s why we coped (apparently) better during the quarantining during Covid. It’s also, why we noticed how other people didn’t cope well during Covid. When I isolate too much, then when I do go out my brain is like “Oh my God! Look at all the thongs, the food, the people.

There are a people. What do you do? What are you peopling? Can I people with you? Let’s people together. Yes, we can.

Now, that is clearly an example. But we saw it a lot during the plague. Walking past chemists where I’d see a person behind the counter getting peopling, full blast by a customer out being around people for the first time in days. The staff members eyes flick out to notice if anybody out there that could save them. Is this even really happening? Am I the only one seeing this right now? Can somebody help me? And all of that is happening up there and on the outside, its Calm! Calm! Calm!

Everybody act calm and then, I think this is why I gift people treats a lot. It’s a reward, sure. But it’s my way of saying, you put up with my “Crazy!”

Later, I may stay away for a bit, so you miss me. Because you nipped at me and hurt my feelings. I try to bring a little funny, a little sass to everyone every day. But sometimes, others have too much owing on and it falls short. But this is why when I hand over a little love, I mean it.

R.I.P. D5

Published March 24, 2025 by helentastic67

R.I.P. D5

I would suggest this is happening too often already. You would think fifty-two years old, would be considered middle age as I don’t know I’m going to make it to one hundred and four years old, nor would I want to. However, people I love are falling off the perch already and it’s too soon. If you don’t know, falling off the perch is the elderly term for dying.

Apart from the passing in late 2022 of my father’s death and the recent departure of a very close friend, she’s not dead just not in my weekly routine anymore. I learnt a week ago a friend from my clubbing days in my twenties had passed. He worked for me back in the day.

I think we bonded because we were from a similar part of the Victorian countryside. While I moved to Melbourne at nineteen to study and work, he moved to Melbourne without the same kind of plan. Not in place anyway. When I asked him why, he responded with “I looked around and just said No!” with a little shake of his head. Like me it was just an instinct to get the fuck outta town.

Around 2000 I had moved back to the country, not born in my hometown but to a more isolated community where my mum and younger sister had moved to. I needed a lift to town and a V-Line bus to go anywhere further. It was hard.

Every few months I’d get back to Melbourne and couch surf for a few days, to go clubbing and catch up with as many people as possible. Going to clubs was the easiest way.

Standing in a goth club I heard this song, looking around at how many people were dancing and not recognizing it, I found D5 close by and he asked that I didn’t know who it was. I was like, “No! I’m living back in the country where you get fuck all exposure to new music” let along anything else. This song will always remind me of him.

I guess a warning might be in order. But the beat is really good.

I’m sure for most it will be a lot, but her wiki page is interesting, if you dare. If you don’t follow my blog for a little different, you are in the wrong place. Teaches of Peaches – Wikipedia

So, around the time of my fiftieth birthday, I sent D5 an invite for my gathering in case he thought to join. My father had passed earlier that month and for years we had drifted, but I always send him a birthday text as he was born on Valentines Day. Bit hard to forget that one.

He came to my birthday and we caught up a few times, I cooked him dinner, my single girl dinner reminiscent from my twenties and that Christmas he gave me a lift to my father’s house in my home town on the way to his hometown. So, we had a three-and-a-half-hour road trip to chat and for me to own the CD Player and have him guess what I’d put on.

Moments after he had left me at my dad’s there was a knock on the door. He was there holding up the black thumb cast for my trigger thumb. “Good luck thumbing a ride without that?” He was rather reserved and shy but when he shared his wit it was a treat for your soul.

While I didn’t see or hear from him often and there had been years in between when he had been married and doing his thing it was always a comfort to know he was out there walking the earth. He is survived by his twin and his cat.

He told me his marriage had ended like many during the Covid 19 lockdowns when couples were confronted with being around each other in close confines 24/7 apparently, they looked at each other and just both said No.

Now, alas, the world is bereft from his passing. He had chosen to fight his battle with cancer with only a small few aware this was his fate. He had told me he was dealing with something but not what. He was about seven years younger than me and the younger brother I never knew I needed. But our world forever better for the time he had been amongst us.

R.I.P. D5.

I am too young to be saying goodbye to friends

* D and the number there after referring to the number of Dave’s in the club days, I’ll cover that another day. D5 was a longstanding Dave and not to be undervalued despite not being D1- D6+ ceased to exist. Obviously, finishing today’s post without my regular cheer.

Circle Back to 2024

Published February 17, 2025 by helentastic67

Circle Back to 2024

So, I thought I should circle back to part of why 2024 was such a shit show. I started the year with a really good support coordinator. I thought no issues on the horizon so why not bring in a third carer agency to take the pressure off one of my other two, so I get some more variety with carers.

Since the start of Covid I was getting one carer for four shifts per week which I worked out quickly was three too many.

Having carers over the year you work out over time and pretty quickly who you mesh well with, who you can rely on and who you can be flexible, because sometimes it is me and my expectations. Can I work around different personalities, or should I not need too? When I asked if I could have less of this carer, I was told it was her or no one. I was also told they were recruiting. The number of times, I’ve been told they are recruiting in the last fifteen plus years, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I would be living in a house not an apartment.

Alas, my support coordinator No.1 for 2024, set me up with a new agency, we did the three-way zoom intro meet and greet thing. (Never done one of those before) Then I went to the countryside for about four days to help clear out my father’s house in late January. WHEN I RETURNED TO PULL THE TRIGGER ON THE NEW CARER, I WAS TOLD SHE HAD TAKEN EMPLOYMENT ELSEWHERE! Then, I was told they had a lack of carers in my area and would keep me on the books. You bet I was told they were recruiting in my area.

Just a FYI. It’s now a year later and I’ve not heard from them again. So, I digress, my really good support coordinator was promoted to Team Leader. It is the only progression for that position in a company, so I think it was my third in about five years I’d lost my Support Coordinator to being Team Leader. Although they always moved on, I gather soon after.

AND YES, IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME I’D BEEN TOLD THEY WERE RECRUITING MORE SUPPORT COORDINATORS ID HAVE A GOOD HANDFUL OF GOLD COINS.

The new support coordinator, in July we were already discussing and planning a request for a review of my NDIS funds.

The OG

Published December 8, 2024 by helentastic67

The OG

Someone called me that today. I’m honest enough to say I didn’t know what it was, but as I left the lift in my building suggesting to the other occupant to join the Facebook page, I created pre-Covid to create community, I told him I’m the admin. He said “Oh, you’re the OG!” I gave him a hand signal I often use to communicate “cool”.

Once inside my apartment I consulted Google. I will let you do the same. I think it’s the Hipsters version of someone who is wise and is connected. Although I’m not sure Gangster has the best sentiment. I generally associate that term with something you want to be on the right side of. You have those friends not enemies.

I have friends that have those friends. It’s safe enough for me.

Hot off the Press – 22nd May 2023

Published May 22, 2023 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

OK, I guess another Hot Off the Press is required and today it comes as a form of confession. Not that I thought I was invincible for having avoided catching the Plague. You should be familiar with my term for Covid 19? Yes, that’s the one. Or my predilection for referring to the RAT as a Pregnancy test, by that it looks a lot like an actual Pregnancy Test. Again, not that I’ve ever done one of those.

Alas, I almost made it to May 10, 2023, so close. Alas, I tested “Pregnant!” on a Wednesday morning and we had to cancel rather a few appointments. Including reluctantly my early chiropractor’s appointment. To my further annoyance because it felt like every rib was not where they should be. But, alas, I couldn’t live with myself should I pass it onto anybody else let alone someone more at risk than myself.

I have had all five vaccines for the Plague and every single one came with issues to book, be eligible, get transport to and from and originally to have access to the appropriate vaccine my GP had insisted I have and only that particular vaccine. Originally it was only the Astra Zenica (or the AZ!) I was told from day dot to only get the Pffizer. (Or a Fizzer! As I called it) I was too YOUNG to qualify originally.

Overall, my experience of the actual Plague, I’m not really complaining. Remember in the early days of Covid? Yeah, lots of those people are not here to tell the tale. So, my mild cold-like-symptoms, I was fine. I hunkered down and settled into isolation. Took more juice and echinacea than I’ve had for a while but after the initial cancelling of all my appointments, only one carer chose not to risk coming. I had two days that week without carers. One of my two agencies could not cover a shift and then the Friday, same issue and my Girl Friday couldn’t risk it. I didn’t panic and test every day like many people like to do. The mandates at the time were to isolate five days. My next appointment was the following Tuesday and thankfully I tested negative and I was able to get to podiatry. Thankful as I had toenails like dragon claws. My podiatrist sees far worse, but I have my own standards. I also would have been fine to stay at home a few more days.

I’ve been dealing with a very annoying wheeze and that’s it. Plenty of Ventolin and my chiropractor giving my lungs a good pounding last Wednesday. I’ve been doing nothing but catch up ever since.

Remember those early days of the vaccine when people were being encouraged to get out and catch COVID’s? Don’t know about elsewhere but the media had it obvious they were to encourage everyone to go out and get it. And if they hadn’t had it, they needed to get out there and get amongst it. Ok, the younger people were being told/shamed for not getting out and being sociable. I guess the government was after Herd Immunity and then on the other hand, I had a new carer last week that had had the Plague 7 times! 7! That’s 6 times too many, right?

You may ask how I got the Plague? I think it was the last comedy show I was at. It was the Daniel Sloss gig at a Convention Centre where I was among 5,500 people. My friend didn’t get it. No idea how. He was sitting right beside me and drove us there and home again. I am just happy he didn’t get it. I have my last comedy show this week, the Melbourne International Comedy show has finished but I’ll tell you about my last comedy event in next week’s post to be sure.

Brilliant Idea

Published December 4, 2022 by helentastic67

Brilliant Idea

Last night I was talking to a friend who works in a hospital. She is dealing with the continued spread of the Plague as I prefer to call it.

I’m still Plague 0/Hell doesn’t know how to accurately do sporting scores, let’s just say I’ve not had the Plague and I’m not complaining.

And I don’t think it’s just because of the four Pfizer, I’m also not wearing a mask unless I absolutely must and the current mandates indicate you no longer need to isolate if you have the Plague, since WHEN. I tell you.

If someone, anyone is sick with something infectious or contagious, please stay home. So, I digress, my friend said people go visiting friends in hospital and don’t wear a mask, or don’t wear it properly. So, more people are getting the Plague, are in hospital already.

So, I had a suggestion, a condition of entry should be
NO MASK! NO PANTS!

Thoughts, anyone?
Exactly!!!!!!!

Update on the Plague

Published June 20, 2022 by helentastic67

Update on the Plague

I feel like it’s been too long since I mentioned the thing, I like to call the Plague. Don’t make me use the word.

Occasionally, I find a reason to do a RAT for when I have an appointment somewhere if I even reach for a tissue, I will be interrogated like I’m going to cause the whole world to shut down.

So, I do a RAT and present a photo, then announce my favourite line! “NOT PREGNANT!” Then after a brief pause “NOT COMPLAINING!”

If you are not familiar with the reference? The RAT thing looks much like Home Pregnancy Tests. Never done one of those, still not complaining. Not a dig at people desperate at wanting to be pregnant.

I’m not bragging when I say I’VE NOT YET HAD THE PLAGUE!

Although I wouldn’t mind being able to say “I lost the 10 Kilo’s I gained during the lockdowns” I’m still not complaining.

One of my young carers had the Plague in early 2022 when all the young ones were getting out to all the festivals and coming home with gastro or the Plague, I heard from her and she told me she’d lost 5 Kilos. I responded I needed the Plague: TWICE! She was so delirious she didn’t get my joke, until days later.

Lastly, when will it be over? Don’t answer that! Hope everyone is staying safe and well.

The Passing of Time

Published April 25, 2022 by helentastic67

The Passing of Time

Sometimes, time passes, not by anything big that happens in my life, but by the absence of people in my life. Despite, Covid blasting 2020 to hell, Australia started the year in flames (the bushfires) and I don’t spend Christmas 2019 with any of my family, so due to Covid, any of the reasons we would normally get together during the year, they normally travel to Melbourne as it’s central to both outlying parties, but we would normally do a nice exciting lunch, etc. This did not happen in 2020.

But the people who are really my family these days, are my carers. I know, you may think I’m always banging on about my carers, that’s because I see them more. They are consistent in my every day and they see the effort and subtle changes around my home as I maintain my independence.

And sometimes, what they do makes the passing of time for me. One of my carers during Covid took leave for 12 weeks. 12 friggin weeks!

To do a course via Zoom!

“Zoom” The other plague of 2020, I’ve had 1–2-hour meetings of which I’ve found to be torturous. She’s been doing 9-5pm. Just kill me now. KM!!!KM!! KM!!! KM!!!KM!!!

The first few weeks, her two shifts were covered and she picked up my Sunday shift. I sent her off with some foodie goodness to help lighten her load. I told her after zooming all day she would not be interested in cooking. When she was at the ten-week mark, I was happiest for her because the whole living by zoom thing. And before you know it, she’s only had three weeks left.

So, it’s odd I guess, I don’t have children, which is a busy way to fill your time. I don’t work, which if you’ve ever had to live by a three-month contract timeframe. Three-month contracts, it’s long enough to cause you financial burdens, but not long enough to plan a holiday or big experience, etc.

So, for me, time passes one day after another, after another and it’s FULL of all the appointments, the meetings, the planning for the bigger procedures throughout the year.

A few lunches with friends, maybe out to dinner once or twice and a once yearly comedy event.

You know those posts, I’m sure I covered all the things, but I don’t know how to finish. I am exhausted by all the things that pass time and don’t have the strength or nutrition to improve the things that help me pass the time, but still. Fuck you Covid!

The end.

Ranty Rants

Published March 14, 2022 by helentastic67

Ranty Rants

You know these days where you are going to have a ranty rant and you will be perceived as being old and grumpy.

I’m saying to the ‘older generation’, I got this, I’ll take this one for the team. What the fuck is it with buying products these days? You get them home, undo the packaging and in between the bits and pieces and all the faff. No fucking instructions!

Would it fucking kill you people, it’s not rocket science? It’s not that fucking hard. OK, I’ve probably exceeded my acceptable level of F-bombs in this post, but seriously, FFS!

Oh, what’s that? You want to know what I bought?

A small traveller at home kit to do a little waxing. Just thought if ever Covid lockdown goes past the Spring, thought I might want to do my legs. Or to be fair, I can’t inflict this kind of pain on myself, but will happily train someone else to do it for me.

Had years of being tortured by my beautician who is way too efficient. Not enough time to inhale and let out a sound of pain or torture. Oh, but of course there’s a damn web address I must do research.

COVID-19, you are killing me.

Welcoming in 2022

Published January 3, 2022 by helentastic67

Welcoming in 2022

So I guess it’s time to say a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, so I suggest as 2022 starts I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution. A simple one and that is to better be able to decipher my own handwriting. As I’ve been one-handed for over 10 years now, I’ve started to develop carpal tunnel so I think this year will be getting much-needed carpel tunnel surgery. Imagine this means ill have no hands for a bit. A week if all goes well. To be continued.

January, I learnt years ago, that it is really hard is achieve anything in the Disability sector. So now I just have learned to relax and take time off. Not racing around trying to fit everything in, is a holiday in itself. So much still to do, including the now overdue Ladies Lunch with the Ladies in my family for our Christmas get together. Yeah, I know! Someone recently said, “You get together once a year with family for Christmas and realise why you don’t bother to see them during the year” Yes, a comedian, of course. Covid hasn’t made it any easier, but I think the less time we spend with family the less we have in common and the less we understand how to best communicate.

So, Christmas day I had a migraine because well I don’t get a day off from having migraines.
A friend came over for an hour to set up some tech and three days, later he told me he had to isolate and get tested for Covid-19 he was fine but he was very stressed about the two people he’s going to spend some time with on Christmas Day.

It is summer in Melbourne, I don’t tell many people I am spending Christmas alone, it is better to not disclose this until after the fact. It doesn’t help when people give you lots of pity, for some people spending Christmas at home alone is better than all the alternatives. In my case staying at home means I get Carers from my normal agencies, I don’t lose my independence and it is easier to deal with being alone rather than spending time in someone else’s home and spending time alone.

The best time on my balcony as my Hot Chocolate Calla Lillie’s are in bloom.

A special mention to the anonymous person/ ‘s who gifted me my new iPhone 13. I’ve been learning new things. And hopefully I’ll get better at doing things Hands-Free. Briefly.

So, going forward please stay safe. Covid, sorry the Plague, is still kicking our asses, so be mindful, we don’t get to celebrate and have big parties (Plague-spreading events) just because we fear another Lockdown. Melbourne holds first place for the most to date. (6) Not something to be proud of. But here we are.