Grief and Humour – Part 2

Published February 27, 2023 by helentastic67

So, while dealing with this whole grief thing I’m reminded of times I’ve seen women in the supermarket, they stop and seem to pause for a moment and a hand goes up to their heart and for a brief moment it looks like they just received some devastating news. I have been moved to ask if they are alright? And they pause and then they seem OK again and they reply as much and the day goes on.

Last Saturday I was attempting to get a loaf of rye bread carefully transported via a friend across town, delivered on the Friday, into my fridge freezer. My carer had suggested she could do this. But my first world problem in recent years has been a problem getting things into my fridge freezer.

Full disclosure, I also have a bar fridge size freezer and that’s full too. My carer has recently suggested I could live out of my freezers for six weeks without going shopping, but I’d eat a lot of chilli con carne, ice cream and stews, what a way to go.

So, there I am, fridge-freezer door open. My carer waits behind the door in the kitchen as I shuffled, to get the portioned bread into every nook and cranny, I talked as I worked telling her amusing little tidbits from my day, life, anecdotes of my life with my dad. Don’t recall now, even what I was telling her about, but every few sentences I paused, couldn’t speak. Wanted to burst into tears, but needed more importantly to finish my witty stories. I kept it together. My carer had told me I didn’t need to keep telling her whatever it had been I was telling her, but I finished both my stories and the task of getting all the bread in the freezer for safe keeping. Before I successfully closed the freezer door, I announced to my carer a little sadly. “I’m not leaving the door open because I don’t want you to see me cry” as I closed the door.

I just want to point out this is a hard job being ONE-HANDED! Just try it sometime. I offered my carer to open the door again and bathe in the brilliance that I had managed to achieve and she stated if she opened it again everything would fall out. I told her it would then be her job to get it all back in before she left.

So, I opened the door to show off my brilliant Jenga technique, from behind me the woman FUCKING SNEEZED.

And twos things fell out and we laughed.

You still get to laugh sometimes…..it’s just sweeter.

What’s Wrong with this Picture?

Published February 20, 2023 by helentastic67

What’s Wrong with this Picture?

Recently I was zipping round the local supermarket on HellOnWheels and doing a bit of Hunter/Gathering. I came across this.

A few other shoppers came over to enquire and I pointed to the fridge stating its good ice cream and what was annoying about it.

Once home, minus ice cream, I sent the photo to a few friends proposing the question, “What’s wrong with this picture?” A carer/friend replied instantly. “No room in freezer?”

Life One Handed – Part 1

Published September 6, 2019 by helentastic67

Life One Handed Part 1

There are several things I have found to be a great asset to my home, since becoming one-handed. This item can be purchased from any decent stationary shop and I love stationary.

I think I got hooked on stationary when I discovered my inner-admin assistant. But, one of the best things in my home now are/or is the humble bulldog clip.

What? I know, this thing. How is this true? You think about it, how many uses can they have?

I have them on bags from frozen veggies in my freezer, on the bag of sugar in the cupboard. You wouldn’t use them on some things because it just doesn’t cut it for freshness on somethings. But, one of the best uses is for holding something still or in place while you write on it.

I just clipped my new backboard to this notebook, so I could sign it.

Yeah, exactly.

White Goods

Published November 26, 2018 by helentastic67

White Goods 1

White Goods

Now, I am completely aware that this post may come across as first world problems, but I want you to hear me out.

First World Problem 1

A month ago, (remember that, it’s vital to this story) I bought a brand-new front loader washing machine. All by myself. Even at my age, I will tell you, you don’t do it very often (that is to say ‘buy-a new White good).

White Goods

My last white goods purchase I shared the expense with a boyfriend and when he left, I told him I had to buy him out (of his share) and he told me, I could just keep it. He also left me his fridge, telling you not only do the end of relationships come down to ‘who gets the white goods’ but also how guilty he must have felt. Yes, he should feel very guilty (Another day) and so you don’t think I’m super wealthy, I didn’t have a sudden influx of excess cash, I actually had to replace my top loader washing machine, because it was a bit rubbish (having been donated to me about three years ago, by a not for profit) that was leaking, but also because living in an apartment now, means less indoor space for putting up drying racks, no clothes line (but again racks on the balcony) but lastly, I will now need to use a dryer at some point and it will need to sit ON TOP OF THE FRONT LOADER WASHING MACHINE.

Relationship breakup

I will definitely be struggling to breathe for the next few months, while I survive on 2-minute noddles and food from my freezer.

Freezer

As per usual, I digress.

Anyway, it took a few weeks to notice, however the machine has had a leak under the front. I had a little touchy-feely of the tap at the wall, a little damp. So, I call the retailer, who from new onwards will be called ‘Retailer’. The woman who answers, suggests I call the company that made it (let’s call them WASHER). While on hold and going through the oral system so the person who answers knows which washer I’m calling about. I get an ‘outgoing’ message informing me the washer is at the responsibility of the Retailer since 2014.

Slight leak

A person answers reiterating the above point, but using the term that the Retailer “OWNS” the machine (WASHER). Are you getting that I’ve so far paid a great deal of money to rent a brand-new washing machine, that no one wants to own responsibility for a leak, even another number for the Retailer. So I rang again, this time a lovely gentleman told me he would refer me to a local repairer (yes, furthermore known as a ….. no wait….. Fixer) Got this? Retailer/Washer/Fixer.

Fixer

I was asked if I had paid for a Premium Install? A what? Oh yeah, there was once a time (I’m in that sweet spot where I’m old enough to recall an era of Customer Service and young enough to care to tell people when they are not doing a good job in a polite but constructive way)

Customer Service

I was informed, I would hear from the ‘fixer’ within 24 – 48-hour deadline to update me. And if the ‘fixer’ needed to get parts they would order those before contacting me.

Waiting for call

I was contacted by the ‘Retailer’ within the 48-hour deadline to update me. Remember those days when you pay for delivery and would just hook it all up because they were nice and you weren’t lugged with a price tag on ‘nice?

Call me crazy, but it’s been a week and I’m very concerned if ‘parts’ need replacing after only a month, why can’t they take the brand new (a month old) front loader away and give me another?

Product exchange

You know that’s rhetorical, so don’t answer that.

Quality

Published May 4, 2018 by helentastic67

Quality

Why is it control freaks have such a bad rep? I mean, I utilise many methods of Quality Control with my carers and family.

Control Freak

There are good and bad things about outsourcing your chores around the house and by saying that I’m talking about things I can’t do myself or they leave me exhausted and still trying to get through my admin/emails at 1am which is ridiculous.

Quality Control

I can only spend so much time watching how someone does something or I might as well do it myself. So, I’ve found ways to do quality control.

I ask my carers to wash dishes, but not dry them.

Doing dishes

There are several reasons for this;

I don’t see the point in drying dishes when they can be left to dry by themselves and I put them away later.
It leaves more time for them to something else.
If they dry the dishes they will stack them on the bench, I have limited bench space, so before I an even make my breakfast, I have to put them away. Or the carers will put them away. * I often can’t find things so I have to think where my carers would have put them.
And likely the most important; I can check that things are actually clean! Because sometimes, they are worse than if I tried to wash them one-handed.

Today a carer containerized up some cat food from the supermarket, I gave her the containers and a small plastic crate to carry them all around to the fridge in one trip. When asked where they were, so I could put them in the freezer, she said she had put them in there already and some hours later when looking for the plastic crate to relocate my “Lunch making” things from the fridge to the kitchen in one convenient trip, I discovered she had put the crate in the freezer with the containers in it.

Cat food