Murder

Published October 28, 2019 by helentastic67

Murder

Oh, my Sweet Jesus Nelly! I don’t know if you can tell, but ‘Sweet Jesus’ has become part of my repertoire for swearing, but in this case it’s not in frustration or disgust, it’s because a carer shared the most hilarious side-splitting story with me on Monday.

Often as part of my time with carers I greet them with ‘how was your weekend?’ or whatever. I do see my carers more than family or friends, so I get their home lives set-up and know if they have had a good weekend or otherwise.

My Girl-Monday, lives with her son, daughter-in-law and 2.5-year-old granddaughter, while the husband is elsewhere finishing up selling a house, so he can join her in Melbourne. So, it was a bit of a surprise when Girl-Monday and I were in my ensuite and she came out with this statement.

“My daughter-in-law almost murdered my son on the weekend!”

WHAT?

I’m sorry What?

Did you say what I think you just did?

She did and she repeated it. My eyes darted to her face.

Apparently, the young granddaughter can get into the cot by herself (can you hear where this is going?) I’m thinking ahead and maybe they are already outsourcing parenting at bedtime and it goes like this.

“Oh, are you feeling sleepy? Do you want to get into bed?” Crazy right? I suspect this in reverse is why the son decided to teach the daughter (carers granddaughter) how to get out of the cot.

I looked at my carer and gave her a long Noooooo!!!!

So, he must have thought if in the morning and she wakes up before they are ready to get out of bed, they can call to her “Sweetie, do you want to get into bed with mummy and daddy?” and they wouldn’t need to go get her.

Again, I looked to my carer in a questioning his intelligence and of way. She informed me he is well educated intelligent young man.

I’m just thinking he has not thought this through and I’m with the daughter-in-law. Even now my sides hurt thinking about how my carer told me about this situation Monday morning.

I’m a single barren spinster, but I’ve had two younger sisters and even I know better.

Sock Nest

Published October 25, 2019 by helentastic67

Sock Nest

There are brief opportunities to be answered by the little things about disability and you need to embrace them. Keeping in mind I’m well aware compared to others with disabilities far worse than mine, they would wish this to be one of their problems. But I still like to share.

Having a full left-sided hemiplegia means I have limited sensation on my left. My left arm, leg and particularly my left foot gets rather cold, so beds socks are a must.

But you know that half sleepy moment in the mornings, you stretch out and draw your feet up in bed? Sometimes, if you feel your sock coming off, you push your foot back down to push it back on, then change the angle before you repeat the movement, in the hope you don’t lose your sock. I often get out of bed in the morning to find I’m missing my left sock.

My carer generally notices it and I snort a ‘whatever’ and later I need to go back and dig around for it. It’s often tucked under Mika my cat, who settled at my feet.

Other times, by the time I get to find the sock, there is more than one. Last week I found a nest of three socks and they were all together.

No wonder I had carers complaining they couldn’t match up my socks. Clearly, it’s no biggy. If no one dies, we’re all ok. It’s a damn bed sock. Put it in the draw, it’s mate will join it eventually.

Today’s Lunch – 23rd October 2019

Published October 23, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Got an amusing story to share of my Monday, hope you appreciate it. Monday, I did some voluntary work for a group where my task was to ask the clients/patients to fill in a survey of 66 questions. As the people had not met me before I attempted to convey confidence to the staff that I would be fine to do as I had been asked. The waiting room was full, an older man in the corner had the nod’s or soon after was fast asleep.

I reassured her by saying, “I’m going to work that waiting room like a pole dancer works a pole!” and I did.

By the time I left I’d been standing for 3 hours. I couldn’t feel my left leg. When I could it really hurt,
I went home and smashed out my admin.

Tuesday, I had some torture with my beautician, followed by more at home with my nueropsych. Actually, the second appointment wasn’t torture.

Today, I have the meeting I was a week early for. It includes lunch so here is today’s offering a vegie Frittata with a side salad and medicine.

Mmmmmmmmm…………Got a migraine to medicate!

Stay tuned, next week I will bring some amazing treats from my foodie-celebratory week!

Unintended Harm

Published October 21, 2019 by helentastic67

Unintended Harm

I don’t have any tattoos. I always intended to and I think there’s still time, but while I don’t have tattoos, it would appear I am into scarification in a purely accidental way.

I recently briefly lent my arm on an oven tray. I noticed it quickly because it’s my ‘good’ arm and it was on the soft inside of that part of my arm, so for the rest of the night anything I did with my right hand, that part of my arm brushed up against something tortured.

I managed to get some cream a huge bandaid on it by myself. The bandaid stayed on my arm all night, but the arm not fully protected.

Wounds on my good arm are not easy to dress myself. Not impossible, but definitely a challenge.

A few days later I was at my regular chemist where the staff recognise me. I showed her my large bandaid covered arm and I made my little joke “I don’t have tattoos, but it would seem I’m into Scarification” it took her a moment, but she got it.

I was a little self-conscious of people seeing the bandaid and thinking I’d attempted self-harm. I would have to puk that.

I’m actually right-handed, so sorry I would harm my left arm. I couldn’t do this to my right arm. Right?

And for a while, I wouldn’t even feel it on my left arm. This got rather muck, didn’t it? A long way to show off my non-battle scars.

Animal Print

Published October 18, 2019 by helentastic67

Animal Print

I confess to say I’m not a fan on the animal print on people. I know, I know, it’s been around for eons.

Thank God, wearing fur is largely over and done with. But, every now and again some fashion victim tries to bring back Leopard print on pants or bags or fucking something.

I know I’m sounding rather grumpy about it but, every now and again I see an eighty-year-old Italian lady wearing them.

Now, I know an eighty-year-old wearing them. Wow, Wow, NO! Her children are doing her a disservice, take your mum shopping for age appropriate clothes. Her arse is no longer a peach. Might never have been.

I realise I sound very grumpy. Sorry Not Sorry. I’m just saying, let animals do animal print. They do it best. Leave it be.

Grumpy over.

Today’s Lunch – 16th October 2019

Published October 16, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Is it really only Hump Day? No, it’s gotta be Friday? I didn’t even have to do Person on Monday. However, it’s Tuesday evening as I tap out this post (I save this as a draft and add the important lunch details on Wednesday before I email it to Ms Noelle, my trusted administrator)

So, today I’m in Flemington at the Advisory group I’ve joined. It’s good to stretch my advocacy efforts. Also means I widen the networking. This meeting is only my second with them and it’s every 3 months.

So, lunch today is a little different, occasionally shit goes sideways and I’m a week early for a meeting and I’m left feeling like I got stood up for a second date!

So, medicine with white sugar! WTF people! Good coffee needs raw sugar.

Not Racist

Published October 14, 2019 by helentastic67

Not Racist

You know those moments when you say something totally racist, when your intention is anything but, so says every racist. However, (see what I did there?)

Just like when people say “I don’t mean to be racist, but” and they say something totally racist. Standing outside my apartment complex the day my friend delivered my new couch.

Background about Frank, more Italian than I am. His parents were both older when they came to Australia in a different generation to me. Frank is the same age as me, however married with two fully grown children, whom I met when I worked for him about fifteen years ago and his kids were only little.

Frank arrives with the couch on the back of his van. At the same time, there is a van parked behind his with a woman sitting in the front passenger seat with the door open. Two men and another woman came down carrying things to put in the back of their van. Now, I had noticed their van parked there earlier in the day and some banter between the two men, shoulder slaps and verbal ribbing (teasing).

Did I mention, they were black? I don’t mean that in a racist way. There are plenty of Indian, Asian and African people in this area. However, I mean really black. I should point out now, over twenty years ago my sisters high school friend married a gentleman from Nigeria and so came the term “He’s as black as snow” and he has the most softly spoken voice. They have and assortment of chocolate coloured kids, however these four people were really black.

Frank was there and down the street came his friend to help. Frank and his friend started ribbing each other straight away. I asked how they knew each other, to which Frank quickly replied “Prison”. I’ve known Frank about twenty years now and he has definitely not been to prison.

Unbeknownst to Frank, I caught the eye of the woman sitting in the front seat of the van, at the mention of “Prison” her face showed surprise, shock and concern. I would like to say she paled somewhat, but that’s not true. I caught her eye and shook my head in the negative.

Frank and his friend were continuing their joke with who had the top bunk (while in prison). Anyway, when the two guys started bringing things (couch/fridge) down the steps Frank stepped forward to help because that’s what wogs do (they help) they don’t wait to be asked, they don’t offer, they just step up and help.

Every time Frank stepped up to help and also to help avert disaster, I gave him a little cheek too “You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Frank and I started to racially profile the people moving out, in a non-racist way.

We were guessing what part of Africa they were from (Eretria) and we figured they had been in Australia for less than five years, however the way they communicated with each other and the banter and cheek between the two men meant they were likely, brothers-in-laws or siblings and Frank and I considered where his parents had been like when they arrived here.

I had spoken to the supervisor in the front passenger seat and we agreed you only encounter people when you are moving in or out of the apartment. They had been here three years and it’s the only time I’d seen them. Now they are gone, which is sad because they seemed nice people.

And well, my friends seemed alright despite one (Frank) having been to Prison.

P.S. Prison, apparently a common term for going to church. Too funny.

But/However

Published October 11, 2019 by helentastic67

But/However

I was thinking this morning in the shower, as you do the meaning of the word “Apparently” is that everything you say after it is not necessarily fact?

So, in that way, in my late teens my mum taught me the difference between when to use the words “but” or “however”.

So, when you use the word ‘but’ after a statement it’s maybe when you are about to justify a comment you have made, that actually negates that comment and if you want that comment to stand then justify it you should use the word ‘however’ instead of ‘but’.

I could give you an example now, BUT it will be more interesting to see if people notice it in the future posts.

Today’s Lunch – 9th October 2019

Published October 9, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Full disclosure, day lights savings began this weekend past and Sunday around 3pm I was ready for the week to be over already. A busy week again ahead.

Tuesday, I was at the Brain Injury self-advocacy group again. Highlight for the day was when one hapless young man asked me “Are you PREGNANT?”
Yeah, he’s dead now!

Yeah, I then had the pleasure of explaining to him the effects of being this age! I’m referring to being peri-menopausal. I explained to him a side effect of being this age is either you lose weight or you gain weight. So, I actually told him I was not pregnant. I was just fat! I think that question is up there next to asking a woman how old she is. You don’t!

FYI, I’m 46 now and by the end of the month I will be a year older. I’m fine with getting older, I’m just looking at things I should do so I’m another 25 years I don’t look back and have regrets of things I’ve not achieved.

Because Wednesday is meant to be my mid-week foodie post, let’s have some food, shall we? Today’s offering is an Arancini Bolognaise with side salad and medicine!

And here’s a nice sign in Clifton Hill I found yesterday in my travels. Your welcome!

I’m also going to start mentioning TV Shows I’m watching. I’m watching season 15 of Grey’s Bit’s. (Grey’s Anatomy). Season 3 of 13 Reasons Why and my I have to get out of the apartment and go do Person show has been The Kids are alright. A nice flashback to the 70’s! I do watch things way past they are released but it’s because I watch sooooo much TV. Meredith Grey is my Spirit Animal.

Punchline Revealed

Published October 6, 2019 by helentastic67

Punchline Revealed

I think the punchline to the previous post is that despite eating dinner by 7pm, doing the classic dinner and a show, I was actually home by 11.30pm.

Despite being completely spent and everything hurt from the 4,500 steps I’d managed all past a time I’m normally committed to my couch, I couldn’t go to bed until 2am.

AND I WAS STILL AWAKE AT 4AM.

It takes me days to get over it. I don’t drink, so I really don’t understand the drinking/partying mentality. Where you are hungover the next day, or is this just getting old?