Hell on Wheels

All posts tagged Hell on Wheels

Family

Published February 23, 2017 by helentastic67

family-1

Family

I’m yet to unpack and draw a picture about my family and I’m getting there but things come up all the time so……

My Mum is my biggest supporter and occasionally my biggest critic, but Truly Ruely.

My Mum has been the only family who has been there when I’ve been in hospital and there is nothing worse than having my Mum look down at me with that look I recognise as “Oh my God Don’t let me watch another of my children die!”

sad-mum

And to be clear she gave me this look after my Disc bulge surgery. The nurse came in and felt she needed to remind me I could sue the morphine button. And the look my mum was giving me, having just seen my scar (covered in tape) and to let Mum know I was okay. I gave her the acronym STFU! The nurse looked started and my only interest was when I was allowed up to go pee. It was three days, I think! Three fucking days! I’m just saying. This once; THEY DON’T MAKE BEDPANS FOR WOMEN!

But more about my family soon.

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BS

Published February 20, 2017 by helentastic67

its-all-bullshit

BS

I call Bullshit. I’m watching Flash and Arrow currently. I wait until I have the whole season and I binge. I don’t have an eating disorder, I just have a serious problem with TV. It has replaced books and there is so much good TV to watch.

Last year I bought two new jackets for Winter. One very heavy. Good for wet weather, complete with a hood.

hoodie

Putting the hood on in public when it’s raining, I find all I can see are my shoes and directly in front of me. So, shoes gazing and danger to myself. Likely to walk out into traffic.

So, watching The Arrow, pull arrows out and shoot them from his bow. Ping! Ping! Ping! And all the baddies get killed. I can’t see anything with my hood on!

arrow

I call Bullshit!!!

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ADHD

Published February 17, 2017 by helentastic67

adhd

ADHD

I think I have a problem. I cannot single-task! It’s impossible. No matter how I try, I end up pausing something I’m watching on TV to go to my laptop and do a Google search. All while I write “pen to paper” for my blog, check emails on my iPad and text!

And it’s now 8pm and I’m yet to make dinner.

dinner

Guess the muffin’s I planned to make can wait.

Next!

Oh! Wait! Forgot the most important thing I was doing. It was Jamima’s bed! And she went from sleeping beauty to attack cat! And I have the scars to prove it.

cat-attack

Home

Published February 13, 2017 by helentastic67

home

Home!

If I ever want to hate myself, I Google real estate properties to rent in my dream suburb, where I lived previously for 8 years.

I know there are houses near me that cost as much if not more, but it is ridiculous.

Property

I have been called a gypsy by my Mum who has helped me more times than I care to admit, but one of these days I’d like to own and never have to move again.

Is it too much to ask to have what everyone else takes for granted?

Obviously, on the whole I can imagine planting my plants in actual soil and getting Solar Panels and a water tank. That would me amazing.

garden

And to imagine I could be more “Green” and look after the environment… And save money? I want a veggie garden.

I know the government clearly prefer everyone live on their own money, not require a pension, if they own their own home, they sell it and live in Public Housing. So, the Government can make money off us.

A girl can dream… One day…

dream-home

Acquired Brain Injury Humour

Published February 10, 2017 by helentastic67

abi-humour

ABI Humour

I imagine most people with a serious medical condition or a disability will find some solace in humour.

I confess I love the term “Wrong”, because it adequately covers my type of humour.

I often have a quick wit that people don’t understand or appreciate.

The other times my humour is ABI related and completely “Wrong”, it’s how I like it.

Here’s an idea of wrong……….the one I’m okay with putting on my blog at least.

I sometime get hay fever. Luckily most years at Springtime I haven’t been getting hay fever, but the last time the conversation came up at an ABI Social group I was going to, I commented; “Yeah! Haven’t had hay fever for years, but this year I’ve blown my brains out!”

abi-humour-2

The facilitator looked at me a little startled as I am one of the less “Brain Injured people of the group.” So, I guess I’m saying I get held to different standards.

I stopped “What? I’ve been blowing my nose a lot!”

I give a frown and a bit of a shrug and move on.

There are times I refer to the other “thing” which also includes a reference to Jackson Pollock, but not today…

jackson-pollock

Blessed

Published February 6, 2017 by helentastic67

blessed

Blessed

So, there is a place I go for free services. It’s a NGO (sorry, did it again! Non-Government Organisation or Not-For-Profit).

They have a board and committee meetings monthly. Not for us to attend and they provide free services to people who live in the region, to people ON low income. It is near the 3 Towers in Collingwood, which are the high-rise flats for Public Housing.

The board and the two people who work there and everything else is done be volunteers. I have been recently getting my Carpel Tunnel attended to by RMIT (Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology) biotherapy/massage students. Awesome!

The other services include free chiropractors, acupuncture and Shiatzu (which I also use).

I walked in the door today to my usual warm greeting. “Hello Ms Helen, Helen is in da house!”

It’s nice to feel loved.

helen-being-greeted

And heading towards the bathrooms I encounter a regular – Nigel (I’m throwing him under the bus as he’s going to be credited for his words of wisdom).

Nigel had rubber gloves on and a bucket of cleaning products. He was in the process of cleaning the shower and the toilet.

mop-bucket-man

I made an appropriate comment. I thought.

“That’s what we like to see, a man doing the cleaning!”

Is that sexual harassment?

But he did one better with this,

“Never heard of a man being shot while vacuuming?”

I’m just blessed!

blessing-quotes-sayings

UBC, Why We Love Them

Published February 3, 2017 by helentastic67

 

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UBC, Why we Love Them!

Pets really can be a great source of relief from Mental Health issues. This is a perfect example of why I love my cat! You Bastard Cat! Noelle told me of this term, so credit where credit is due…

These days, my cat Jamina ‘Patch the Pirate Cat’, Puddle duck will follow me around our home. My movements are pretty standard, bed or couch and during winter, Jamina watches a single bed doona with a polar fleece cover to see where that is going. If I’m moving around the house doing something, but the doona is still on the bed, she parks there knowing full well sooner or later I will go back to bed. She stays there, gets comfortable and sleeps to wait and yes, cats sleep.

Jamima

I think Jamina thinks she’s a person. Probably because I sleep a lot and I’m probably a bit cat!

These days, despite having a dining table, I eat my meals on the couch. I know it sounds bad, but I have had times when I’ve had every meal on the weekend in bed.

There are times I get to the couch with dinner a little late. My computer sits hooked up to the TV with a HDMI cable. Because reading is migraine inducing, I will watch a show. Being one handed, it’s nice to watch something without ads, so I put on a TV show, so I could single task, but have some company. The show started and Jamina joined me on the couch. The TV was emblazoned with the words “SIX MONTHS LATER!”

funny-cat-memes-rofl

And it stayed there the longest time!

Looking at Jamina I discovered she was sitting on the Wi-Fi mouse! UBC!

cat-sisters

Carer v Family

Published January 30, 2017 by helentastic67

 

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Carer vs Family

It might surprise people but sometimes the difference and similarities between my family in a Carer role or a Carer as a Carer is polar opposites. I know, I’m yet to explain the unique dynamics of my family, but I’ll get there! I know, there’s so much I’m to get to, but other ‘stuff’ keeps being more pressing.

There are times my Carers are more like ‘Family’ to me than my actual family.

Over the years I’ve had much criticism from family, such as how much weight I’ve put on (accumulated/collected) in the last 10 years! Trust me, I know!

weight

My older sister did a course to be a Carer (not for me, but she has done it) and when she learned that putting on weight could lead to loss of independence, she was very concerned, but that’s not how it felt, being told I’ve put on some weight.

body-image

Mum likes to tell me too. But it’s often my Carers that point out in the bathroom mirror while I’m standing there naked, I have a waist and hips and a nice bum!

body-image-1

FYI, these are straight women and it really is nice.

The last 10 years has been particularly brutal to my self-body image.

critisism

Baby Brain

Published January 27, 2017 by helentastic67

mommybrain

Baby Brain

Once upon a time I sat at my GP’s office and while waiting a woman and her young baby sat outside the nurse’s room.

After she had been there for some minutes, she spoke to her baby and claimed “Mummy has a brain injury”.

lost-my-mind

Got up and left.

Now, I imagine the woman was suffering from something known as “Baby Brain”, where for some reason they are overloaded with a mixture of happy Mummy chemicals, a very busy schedule and likely a lack of sleep due to said adorable fashion statement baby. Looks like a baby, I suggest.

Perhaps you have a baby?

So, please feel free for having a baby brain.

I have a brain injury! I didn’t choose to have a brain injury. So, considering it’s all I have when it comes to blaming any of my weird moments so, please don’t steal it.

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Breaking News

Published January 23, 2017 by helentastic67

breaking-news-1

Breaking News

We interrupt the normal flow of my writing and posts to give you this breaking news……that means I’m tapping on my iPad, paper and pen put aside for speedy delivery.
If you are up to date on my blog and current affairs in Melbourne, Australia being my beloved home.
Last Friday, the 20th of January 2017 saw an incident Melbourne is not known for having. I’m going to use some generalised terms however bear with me. A young man in a Holden Commodore performed burn-outs and donuts in the main intersection of Flinders Street and Swanson Walk in front of Flinders Street Station. He was apparently screaming out obscenities while hanging out the window of his car. While he used terms like ‘Reign down terror!’ His actions were not perceived to be terrorist relayed. The driver was persuaded down Swanson Walk and the Bourke Street Mall. Both precincts known for being busy pedestrian traffic areas.
For those unaware, Melbourne has had the popular Australian Open Tennis, which is huge with tourists and Melbourne in general. We Melbournians love our coffee and our culture. We are happy and friendly people, so what happened next was (for lack of words,) just awful. The driver just drove into and over people. The youngest victim was a 3-month-old baby who was in a pusher(pram) and two people in their 30’s were killed also. Many others were injured, later reports indicated injuries to limbs and some brain injuries. The latest report is that five people were killed including the baby.
Passers-by pulled together to help the injured people until medical assistance could attend.
The driver was eventually stopped by police who shot him in his car, then dragged him from his car that still sported part of the pusher from earlier.
Now, I premise by saying this is likely not normal anywhere and most definitely not Melbourne.
I generally go to the city once a week. And was only made aware this was happening when out getting groceries and ran into an old carer who mentioned her son was in the city and she was concerned about him.
I don’t spend much time on social media, however I checked in on Saturday night. Lots of posts about sending people back where they came from when they cause such incidents and posts about acts of terror.
Clearly very glad I had not been anywhere near the city on Friday however with all the love and respect and support in the world to those who died, suffered injury or emotional trauma for witnessing such atrocities, I’m a little surprised my own family and friends have neglected to reach out and just ‘check‘ I wasn’t anywhere near the city……
And my point is that the silence is deafening and telling, isn’t it?

It’s now late Sunday night. Ok, it’s early Monday morning and I’ve avoided social media today. Sometimes, I like to let the dust settle on these events and rather than get caught up in the early assumptions I like to get the real facts….. There is no point getting caught up in the drama until the media gets all the information and updates correct.
So far, the reports I seem to have seen somewhere indicated he had mental health issues and not a terrorist related event.
Many posts I did see early Sunday morning, indicated the driver had slipped through the cracks in the legal system and had he been remanded for a prior infringement, he may not have been on the streets to cause such chaos. I prefer to imagine the mental health system failed him and everyone else affected on Friday.

Meanwhile, in a suburb in the North I had a conversation with my mum on the phone about the status of the lovely NDIS. In 2016, I was given the funding that is supposed to be the silver bullet to fix all problems and level the playing fields. My funding was rushed through giving me the lowest level of assistance. The first plan is supposedly designed this way…. So I’m not saying I’m the only one to get screwed. Just stating facts.
Last year Stupidlink (sorry, my favourite term for the government agency that handles pensions, etc) did to review my DSP (Disability Support pension) because apparently, I might be job ready?
So, the NDIS has also triggered an overhaul and review of my mum’s carer allowance although it’s not at all what they told us it’s what they were intending.
Now, I have had great carers who cared from the second they walked through the door and I can tell you I think they love me like family not just because they get paid to care and while I’m transitioning to new carers I’m micromanaging and already can tell I would have the same level of stress free care any time soon.
My NDIS funding needs an appeal/review and my mum, my only family member to actively help me has stated she is not going to assist with any paperwork unless she is paid to do so.
It’s the loneliest moment to feel the government is working to isolate me from the only family assistance I receive because, do they think they have my best (can’t think of appropriate word here) in mind. Because everything else points to the government wanting to institutionalize me and take away all my rights and independence.

I don’t mean to minimalist the events of Friday in the city because in that situation people died. I’m not planning to reach for the razors (my home has no razors) or the pills and let’s hope it continues that way…….
Now, please do not adjust your dials while normal transmissions resume.
Peace Out!