Question for the Dentists

Published November 18, 2024 by helentastic67

Some time ago I picked up a follower that was a dentist or somewhere in that industry. So, this is definitely a question for them and I notice possibly any industry where they have patients/clients, etc.

Here’s the question – at what point in any treatment is it too soon to start saying “we’re almost finished!” Because honestly, when I get my teeth cleaned, and my anxiety is real, I’d ask am I a total squirmer? I hate it and that says something when I mention I’ve bared knuckled fillings. Now, I will do the same if it’s not a deep filling needed, but if I start to feel them working away on my teeth I’ll tap out and tell them I’m happy for an injection but seriously, I hate the clean so much.

Literally, as soon as the big heavy x-ray jacket comes out, I don’t give it back. What? You want it back now? No chance. I think I better appreciate that people with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) like weighted blankets. I also prefer to sleep with layers no matter the season.

But, alas, I digress, please tell, can anyone give me an answer to the question? How soon can you tell someone the torture is almost done?

I heard it’s used as a calming comment offered way too soon and repetitively when please give me some credit that I know you are not nearly close enough to be finished. I mean really. If someone can tell me when chronic pain ends? That would be great. I know it ends when I’m dead. But before that?

Didn’t think I was going there today. Yes? Don’t want to need to remind people, if they have read this far however, please hit Like.

Bruises

Published November 11, 2024 by helentastic67

Bruises

A woman saw the bruise on my chin today. Six days later, she asked “You fall over? For what? Nothing!”

I didn’t bother explaining to her and shrugged and then the best response I’ve had all week, one word. “Fuck!”

Also, it helps to know I was in an Italian supermarket. Well Greek, but wog I guess so sometimes I love the non-PC and non-business-like response I can get from this sector. I seem “white” to many people in Australia, but in the “wog sector” I’m part of their own, as my father was Italian and I look enough European in that setting, they will not mince words. I appreciate that and respect it.

About 2 weeks after my fall and the bruise was mostly gone, I was at my favourite cafe and the longest serving hospitality staff member Gabby said rather simply “It could have been worse, you could have lost all your teeth!”

And she was bang on the money. Respect.

And the Good News – Drum Roll Please

Published November 4, 2024 by helentastic67

And the Good News – Drum Roll Please

And the good news is, Hernia. Sometimes, maybe rather than sharing this with my blog administrator/aka the Meme Queen, I thought I’d just blog it out.

On my phone in a cafe so I can just do it all in one go. As I’m given a big paper towel and some tissues to clean the jelly out of my belly button, I asked for the good news. She’s a lot younger, so the bad news would have just been “No Helen you’re just fat?”

Even in the bad news terrible scenario, I can find a way to make others laugh. Is it a gift? Maybe.

Always Recruiting for My People

Published October 28, 2024 by helentastic67

Always Recruiting for My People

You know those moments when Crazy Cat Ladies just can’t help themselves? I’m sorry in advance.

I was recently in an apartment standing in the bedroom, my carer measuring an area that was quickly deemed too small for my bed. The real estate guy asking why I need such a big bed? My Dad made my bed when I was about twenty-four and I’m not giving it up. Even more so because he’s gone, so he can’t make me anything else. I mentioned as much but four days later he was showing us another apartment and I’d thought of a better response, telling him, “It’s for all my future cats!”

Yes! C’mon! If I didn’t just nail crazy cat lady, I don’t know what will. He asked how many I have? Just one, so far.

You know those days you feel people you interact with will never forget you? I mean for good reasons; I like more of those please.

I’m hoping this young guy will help me lock in my forever home and if he can work for me as much as he will work for the seller, he’s got pudding coming his way. Pudding is not how I recruit my people, but it never hurts. Is that a bribe?

Quality Control – Not Finished Yet

Published October 21, 2024 by helentastic67

Quality Control – Not Finished Yet

So many questions.

Wondering if people are doing a shit job for me because they find my disability makes it hard to do a good job?
Or is it because they think I don’t matter?
Would they do a better job if it was for themselves?
Or someone else?
Or are they just doing it until they get something better?

It’s always hard to know if people do an ok kinda job because they need the money or they give a fuck.

It’s part of the downside to needing carers or having funding to have people do things for you.

Developers Please

Published October 13, 2024 by helentastic67

Developers Please

I think it’s about time developers paid attention and built in some things to enhance properties for residents.

Number one, put in an accessible toilet close to the entrance off the foyer. It should have a sign stating “Accessible!” For which I will ask “Are there any other residents here with disabilities?” Then it’s unofficially Helen’s Personal toilet. But you may use it, just keep it clean and tidy for all.

Also, while we are on the topic of bathrooms. Can they start designing apartments with one and a half bathrooms? That would be an ensuite and maybe just a second toilet with handbasin. I cannot tell you how good it’s been for the last seven years to have two toilets in my home and I live alone.

I get ready to head out with a carer calling out “I’m just going to the loo!” and they will return with “I’ll go too!”

So, at the end of the day there is no fighting when we get home who gets to go first or how long you can be there.

I’m sure I’ll revisit this at a later date so, to be continued.

My People

Published October 7, 2024 by helentastic67

My People

I use the term “My People” often to refer to people in my life. They can be friends, carers, receptionists at regular appointments I go to or even people I encounter in waiting rooms as I did having my standard weirdo conversations.

Today, a Wednesday, I actually had a different carer today as my regular Girl-Wednesday was off sick. I got to my chiropractor by midday. No easy feat I assure you. But after breakfast in the car on our way, nailed it. I hope you are all aware. Helen is not a morning person.

Managed to get to my favourite North Fitzroy Café, got takeout lunch but still, it counts. Got home, inhaled lunch, sorry, no photo. But then fanged it out to the acupuncture and physio, punched, stabbed and electrocuted all in the same day. I even share a moment of celebration with my Physio that I got to the Grumpy One. It is understood I’m referring to the one that stabs me. I mean, I’m grumpy too but seriously, the stabber takes grumpy to a whole new level. Should put my family in a room with the other grumpy one.

My physio entered the curtained area that I was in. I pointed to the next treatment area stating, “You know, I know someone is in there, right?” Then I point to the shoes down on the floor, the toes pointing in my direction.” And I know they are that person’s shoes?” and he finished the thought process out loud! “If they were in those shoes, they would be staring at us through the curtain?” Me: “Right?” So creepy. He literally bent in half laughing with a hand on his knee.

Honestly, I love my people, and this is why I manage to get through each and every day.

On my way home, fangin’ it and I encountered a portion of footpath blocked off for some kind of maintenance, I had not gone to pee before departing my last appointment and detours were already not on my immediate agenda. A sign directed me to use the “other footpath!” Which to be clear was fifteen metres across the road and I doubt anyone was going to stop traffic to give way to hellonwheels. I detoured down a side street and down a lane way. The cobblestones wreaking havoc to my bladder. Cobblestones are retreats at the best of times and picking the best path does not always mean you can stick to it all the way along. But, alas, I made it to the other end and back to the High Street, continuing my way. Bars had started to open and put out their tables for after work drinkers and socialisers.

I got to the garage entrance in time for someone in their car to open the gate. I fanged it down and rather than the normal fang it to the basement and back to “Open up the motor” that I normally implement. You all realise its powered by two car batteries under my seat, right?

Parked in the shed and hot footed it upstairs, via the lift. Inside, put everything down on the floor, and made a beeline to the main bathroom to the toilet. I’m just saying, disaster averted.

Which leads me to some wise words for future property developers.

I’m That Weirdo

Published September 30, 2024 by helentastic67

I’m That Weirdo

I could honestly do a post every week just on weird conversations I start with complete strangers for no reason whatsoever. And why not?

I’m definitely that weirdo who can give people a different perspective of disability/brain injury or just going for gold in a way they will remember me at the end of the week award.

Most people are oblivious I have disabilities let alone that its brain injury related. They wouldn’t even realise I’m half blind.

Last Friday, went to the local supermarket and got a few things, at the checkout was a young Asian guy with a tattoo up the side of his neck. It was a line of a foreign language that was not very wide and about two inches long. You know I asked. While he looked a little perplexed. I offered him an “out” I suggested “Why do stupid white women ask what our tattoo’s say?”

He looked a little surprised but answered “Family. Friends. And Me!”

Our day continued but I really hope that wasn’t the list of his priorities in order. I don’t have any tattoo’s but like husbands and kids, I always intended to get another permanent scar to remind me of pain for the rest of my life, that’s what my tattoo should say. Because I’ve neglected, forgotten to get any of those so far.

Ugly Cry

Published September 23, 2024 by helentastic67

Ugly Cry

Jesus, I wept. I had to say goodbye to some old friends this weekend and I did the ugly cry. Even ice cream didn’t make it easier to bear, I had to pause the show to finish the ice cream so I could use my one good hand to administer tissues! Stat!

If you haven’t worked it out? I was watching the last season of a show I’ve been watching since 2018 and the final season of those show’s I like to save because my friends are still a part of life until I’ve finished it.

The title is a reference to the saying “Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things”. I got this quote from the wiki page, if you haven’t worked it out, the show was called “A Million Little Things” and it’s never too late to watch it.

I started this weekend needing to fast for a blood test. I really don’t love doing adulting on a weekend. (Definition of Adulting is Bra and Shoes) But alas, my Crazy Lady Hormone Doctors requirements are very specific. Vampire visit is required on the twenty first of the month. The upside to Adulting on a Saturday.

Weirdly, then felt hungover all friggin’ day. Which is weird because I don’t drink. Finished my Saturday with hydrolyte and ice cream while weeping and that was after the single feature on my Single Girl Date Nite where I watched the film that made Amber Heard and Johnny Depp household names. I mean “London Fields” was a reasonably decent film leaving you guessing until the end; however, I wasn’t interested in the blow-by-blow account of the court case then, I’m less interested now. If you don’t know, best left that way.

Also still dealing with the fallout from my recent fall. Pun intended. I keep biting my tongue. So, I have to have my Chiropractor adjust my jaw. Not looking forward to that. At least I didn’t knock out my teeth. I know right.

Here’s hoping for a calmer week so I can get some more blogging done. I mean I have a few in here where I’m planning to throw shade at vegans, strap in for that one.

Old Trip Down Memory Lane

Published September 16, 2024 by helentastic67

Old Trip Down Memory Lane

Last week I had reason to visit South-Side and my old neighbourhood from my twenties. Melbourne for many is split by a river called the Yarra River. When I first moved to Melbourne at nineteen my friends quickly informed me the river was not for swimming as it was likely to hide people with concrete boots. Think we now refers to those days as the Underbelly era. Oh, good times. Melbourne from a different time.

But nowadays we refer to the river dividing the South from the North. Once upon a time I spent my twenties living around Prahran near Chapel Street. I’ve been past several of the places I once lived only to find time did not stand still, several houses were gone replaced by new developments. And some beautiful Art deco apartments my friends and I envied in the 90’s on Dandenong Road can now be look up online. Ooh-La-La! Still can’t afford to live there. I mean the internet is a sneaky thing because I went down a rabbit hole and found this old dump I once rented.

https://www.realestate.com.au/property/42-mcilwrick-st-windsor-vic-3181/

I mean, it did not look like this when I once lived here but seriously. Now I can’t afford to live either side of the Yarra. A comedian once said “Never sit down and work out how much money you’ve spent on rent. You will kill yourself!” So not doing that, might add to that list, don’t search places you once lived but no that’s too late.

Now, who thought this blog was only about living life one-handed? Well, that’s still true but a girl’s still gotta keep a roof over her head and want to be able to get out of bed in the morning and still be motivated to put one foot in front of another, so that is why we have real estate porn. It’s not realistic, but its aspirational. Not achievable for most but it’s nice to look.

And if I may? I know I don’t normally critique films here because I don’t want to let on how much I watch TV and films for entertainment, but I feel in short, I must. Saw the 2024 take on the 1994 classic “The Crow” Can we not please? Stop it! We just don’t need another generation of young thin men with tilted heads and bad posture looking down at girls. The end.