Who is old enough to remember a great joke from the 90’s about Lawyers

Published August 25, 2025 by helentastic67

Joke goes like this “What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”

Answer: A bloody good start.

I offer you the modern version. “What do you call 100 real estate agents at the bottom of the ocean?”

Think you have this from here?

What kind of scumbag sells a forever home to someone who has disabilities advising them falsely on how easy they can access things like I don’t know, a car space, power to a mobility scooter and not tell them of impending costs and increase in fees?

Did I mention we are up for a new lift in 2026? Annoyingly, the lift has been a major annoyance this year, often being out of action for days, sometimes only hours. One particular Friday, I left to go shopping and my phone blew up as the building group chat had so many messages about the lift being out. I had to right leg it up the stairs upon returning from shopping with a carer on her first day with me.

A few strangers, neighbours in the building had come out to help carry my shopping upstairs and for that I was very grateful, but alas, being in a building with only one lift was something that was an afterthought, in the end once I found the right location, number of bedrooms and within a budget, I could cope with.

Thanks dad! Love you, Dad. Don’t hate me because my father loved me.

Merry Christmas to Everyone

Published December 23, 2024 by helentastic67

Wants and Needs

This post is likely ahead of the first five to ten I’ve only written in my head but here we go. I’ve been doing a lot of research lately for where I will be next living, for how long I can afford to live there or just live in general, If I can afford to travel, in other words have a holiday and can I finally afford furniture from my favourite shop, can I afford any or all of these things?

I now utter sentences that includes words like “my financial advisor.” and it’s weird. I’m getting more comfortable with it but it’s still weird.

Don’t for a heartbeat imagine I’m wealthy however, my father, God bless him, has allowed me to consider life could have potential and could be a little sweeter.

A wise woman suggested I work out how much I need for the furniture I want, potential travel and work backwards.

Furniture, Holiday, Forever home, Check.

I just consulted the website to my favourite furniture store and my antidepressants are not strong enough.

Can You Believe?

Published September 2, 2024 by helentastic67

Can You Believe

Just starting today with some much needed business, with a Happy Father’s Day for yesterday. As some of you may be aware its soon the second anniversary of my father’s passing, its crappy but it is what it is.

Meanwhile, yesterday marked the first day of spring in Australia and the first day of September. When the hell did that happen? I’m struggling with how quickly this year has gone, anyone else feeling like this year has flown with seemingly not much to show for it?

Also, almost a little Hot Off The Press Moment. Last night I was at Hamer Hall in Melbourne seeing the Celeste Barber show Back up Dancer.

4.3K views · 58 reactions | Celeste Barber on tour | Comedian Celeste Barber has announced her Australian stand-up tour! She came on TODAY this morning to tell us all about it. #9Today | WATCH LIVE 5.30am | By TODAYFacebook

4.3K views · 58 reactions | Celeste Barber on tour | Comedian Celeste Ba… Comedian Celeste Barber has announced her Australian stand-up tour! She came on TODAY this morning to tell us a…

My friend went to get us drinks and returned with a can of “Not Coke!” and it came with a plastic cup that we were to tip into the plastic cup, we were not allowed to take in the can. “What do you think we are going to do with the can?” I asked. Apparently, the obvious was “throw it” I asked why someone would throw a can at Celeste? and I followed this with “She’s, our Queen!” (Can not believe I said that!)

My next fine example of wit was to the next staffer, an Usher who was to direct us to our seat. “Where are you sitting?” to which I responded, “On my bum!” and I think our seats were too far back to do any damage to anyone on stage regardless of who they were with a can or otherwise. We know this is not the point. I’m just saying my coffee must have kicked in. What can I say? I’m pretty witty.

Meanwhile, if you are unfamiliar with all things Celeste consider yourself having just been given homework? Go, immerse yourselves in all things Celeste Barber on both Instagram and Tik Tok if you dare. I’m just saying, I cried with laughter, but I seriously cried. and my pelvic floor was already in tatters.

From the start to the very end and occasionally when all was quiet from the stage a giggle would break out from somewhere in the audience, including mine. I must say, I really love when comedians bring the audience into their world and share parts of who they are and some anecdotes about their lives you would never imagine, so human, and so funny.

I’m yet to write my posts about the shows I saw in the 2024 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, but this year Celeste is the first of two shows I’ve booked outside the Festival and I’ve already booked a show for next year’s Festival. You know I have my Dad to thank.