Expectations From Others

Published June 30, 2025 by helentastic67

Sometimes, there are little things about having a disability that you would never imagine or believe.

People will always imagine everyone treats me as a human being that deserves respect, love and support and that might feel fair and truthful for some of the time. However, on occasion someone you least expect will throw their emotional baggage at you they refuse to deal with themselves, I gather.

When I’m depressed, I hibernate to minimise fallout on others. I’ve found biting and hissing at others just makes them less likely to sign up for more.

It’s not for everyone. It’s not even good for a long-term solution for anyone with mental health issues. But I like to consider I’m taking responsibility for my issues and not projecting my shit on others. But other times, when someone wants to pick a fight with me, they will throw it in my face that I’m uneducated.

I’m sorry! Did you hear me?

About ten-years-ago I had an OT ask me “How far I made it in school?” I was offended. I finished secondary school. Then completed three years of Tertiary, Arts, sure, however, I’ve since completed a leadership course of which this blog was my project. I also did part of a Certificate IV in assessment and training but don’t even start me on that.

I never had to do a four-thousand-word essay until my first year of tertiary. My art history lecturer thought my presentation on Pop Art and the artists Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein was brilliant. I know it may sound like I’m justifying but!

One thing I would never do is kick anybody when I’m struggling so I feel better about myself. So, you may be able to tell I’m having a hard time.

Sometimes, being one-handed, having half one’s eyesight, not being able to see. Work catches up on me. And as per I’ve some blogging to catch up on. I really don’t like blogging as a reactionary measure because I like to let the dust settle but maybe I need to rant.

Then I foresee many posts to context the ranting. Alas, it is 12.30am, and while this is early, I feel I should call it a day. Unpacking this shit always feels like unpacking dirty laundry.

Crisis

Published June 2, 2025 by helentastic67

Crisis

And here we are again, sitting with the intention to smash out my next batch of blog posts, to catch up on all the things. With the best of intentions I’ll see how this goes?

The best meme I’ve seen at the end of January 2025 stated, “This month was a long year!” and I whole heartedly agree.

That is to say by the end of 2024, it was a bit of a shitstorm. About a month and a half, ending in late November I was in absolute crisis. I’m relieved to say I rarely have had to resort to that particular word but it’s accurate.

You see, late last year, I moved my home. Well, just me and the contents. Not far at all as the crow flies, but packing up after seven comfortable years of more affordable rent the earth shifted and I relocated to my forever home.

The lead up to which, as much as I’d tried to have everything sorted and come together resulted in me not having the much needed funding, the extra carers and the so called promised help on the day. I’ve only just found the accurate word for how the big day moving was.

The following week after the trucks came, I had two Little Red Trucks (I only use them) and four people. They spent seven hours relocating me this one last time.

I have moved lots in my life. Plenty of times in my twenties, four times now since my disability and I’ve taken to making the statement, “I’M NEVER MOVING AGAIN! I’M GOING FROM HERE TO THE GRAVE! OK, I’M GOING FROM HERE TO THE FURNACE! WHAT! TOO MORBID? YES, I’M GOING TO BE CREMATED!”

When telling people about my new Forever Home, I’ve hinted at several things until I’m asked, “How much is the rent?” I smile just a little and shake my head in the negative. I’m never paying rent again. Quickly followed by “Don’t hate me because my father loved me!” Next.

Karen and the Motorbike – Follow-up

Published January 13, 2025 by helentastic67

Karen and the Motorbike – Follow up

So, remember the previous post? Hellonwheels – Part 2 | Hell onWheels/Life One Handed Where a female Karen thoughtlessly parked their motorbike in front of my shed? Yeah! Like we could forget?

So, I posted those photos to a social media page. You know the one? I had created the page pre-covid to help people network/help each other etc in my apartment building.

When people consistently find themselves on the receiving end of pure selfishness, they post photos of the results of said selfish actions. As I did, only after texting the likely culprit.

Oh My God! Help Me! It got some response. I even sent texts to my actual property manager who contacted the OC, who contacted the tenants, then the tow truck company. And an hour later I got a grumpy rant on the group chat making it sound like she was the victim.

I then had to Admin the shit out of her inappropriate use of the group chat. As I had politely asked her directly, because I had correctly guessed it was her motorbike in front of my shed. She deciding to ignore my messages I then posted it to the group chat hoping to get a little swifter action.

The fact that she got very defensive and stated she had only stopped in for ten minutes and ended staying longer was all completely irrelevant to the fact she had ignored my basic right to have what she takes for granted.

Hellonwheels, allows me basic freedom to go some distances and do local appointments without needing to rely on others and do a little local Hunter/Gathering of items I can take up to and into my home one-handed.

Making me wonder how often she does this?

Calming My Mind

Published January 29, 2024 by helentastic67

Calming My Mind

Might be a surprise to know I once upon a time worked in Admin, I was that busy little admin person whose desk often looked like a bomb had hit it. My boss once wandered around to loiter around behind me. Bit like a Creeper. He seemed to be just checking out what the hell I had going on.

I had a splash back/divider between my desk and the next person and it was covered in lists, post-its. Sell kinds of things. The coral I had created around one desk so I could have layers of in and out trays. This boss I prompted this particular day with a grumpy “What!!!!!!” (Note, not. Question?) He dismissively expressed he’s not being impressed with what a mess my desk area was. I told him I knew where everything was, he only had to ask and I would put my hand on it. He disappeared and went back to his messy desk.

Occasionally during preparing for an audit another Satan member would pullout the clients files she had not been able to find. He would ask “Where is this file?” I would put one hand on my head, he would do this to take my hand off my mouse when he would “train me” how to do something on my computer so as not to put his hand on mine. And with my other hand I pointed to an overflowing in tray on his desk, he had neglected. The other colleague then mentioned the next four client files she’d been unable to locate. Again, hand upon head and the other pointing to his desk.

Later he would check the files, the referral, the notes and put post-its on each, then deposit them on my desk with instructions of who to contact, each potential host to send that client to that corresponding host to do their mutual obligation. Then, I would do the rest. I guess his desk was often an extension of mine.

Time for an Acronym.
MO, Mutual Obligation. Otherwise, known as Work for the dole. Damn it. Also known as WFD. We commonly nicknamed it Work for the coffee scroll.

On one occasion the Grumpy boss asked the office in general “What’s Frank’s number?”
I altered my sight of vision ever so slightly and read him out the number.
He had,
A) De-skilled.
B) Gotten lazy in remembering Frank’s Number.
C) He never questioned my messy desk again.

And before anyone feels they need to ask? Yes! I did feel like a trained monkey. I also could point out the location of his coffee mug to remind him where he had left it.

Yet, I’ve still not covered the post I had intended to write today. Always happens this way.

My Best Advice

Published September 26, 2022 by helentastic67

My Best Advice

Last week at a meeting I contributed my Hot Tip for how I managed to get through the Plague in the last few years. Now it received rave reviews, but I feel like it will be passed on to the intended third party without my name attached. Call me crazy but I like to be given credit where credit is due.

So, well they failed to remember Hell’s got a BLOG! So, I’ll just beat them to it.

My advice –

I thought of friends that might have been more isolated than I was or coping with all the lockdown stuff in Melbourne and all the social isolations, and I rang them, I reached out. I just talked about whatever, and I know the people I chose to do this with appreciated me doing so.

Ironically, because everyone always assumes Hell’s doing OK, no one ever thinks to check on me.

Who Am I?

Published September 13, 2021 by helentastic67

Who am I?

My name is Helen, I started blogging in 2015. Since then, I’ve written over 600+ blog posts and acquired over 280 followers all around the world.

I’ve really let my blog speak for itself and not really marketed myself in any commercial way to gain a larger following.

Pre-Covid I was sharing three posts a week. Hellonwheels, is me doing brain injury differently. I’ve had my brain injury for over 48 years, only learning I even had my Arterial Venous Malformation (AVM) at aged 34 when I was really stressed, as a result of workplace bullying. After diagnosis and treatment, I have been left with stroke like symptoms.

It’s not easy being a high-functioning Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) and it’s even harder to explain. I have a good memory, a love for music and food – things some people with brain injuries can’t enjoy.

I’m a single-barren spinster, often including further descriptions, straight and fucking fussy!

I have strong opinions, which may or may not appeal to everyone. This is why I include stories of my past, little moments of life, foodie posts and beautiful things from nature.

Life is short and often few moments or opportunities go past, so I try to share the ones that I have.

I hope you will take a moment to look up Like, Share and Follow.

Blog Writing

Published September 27, 2019 by helentastic67

Blog Writing

As per usual, I’ve neglected my blog writing for a little while, as I’ve been busy with all the mundane weekly appointments and carer shifts, I forget to A) Socialize and B) Catch up on my blog writing.

By then, I’m still not caught up on the ‘old’ stuff I want to write about and then I’ve scraped the surface on those things, leaving more unsaid than said.

The Social life stuff leads to needing to write.

This is not the retirement I had in mind. I had to flip over my notebook and start from the back. I’m going to struggle to go back to the train of thought I’ve started at the front, but …..Onwards.

Charge!

Why I Blog

Published January 26, 2018 by helentastic67

Why I Blog 1

Why I Blog?

If you have been wondering with a weird array of randomness, what Hellonwheels is all about? Wait no longer, this is why, here is the answer.

Since my diagnosis in 2007? (I don’t know! It’s been a blur) I’ve met many people with ABI/TBI/general fuckwit-ism and it has led me to query, what means what?

Brain injury

Example;

When I first started going to ABI groups socially, because society loves to put you in contact with people with the “same” issues you have. (Please note eye-roll!) I walked in and young men and old flocked towards me, I felt like a Spice Girl in the mid-90’s. One guy, let’s call him ‘Fred’ (because it’s been a while) made it clear to take me under his wing. We got chatting, as you do and as you do you talk about your life before the ABI.

Spice girls

I mentioned my Club years and that’s always a big topic. But, push came to shove and after a little young woman joined us and I was introduced. Lovely younger lady, also with an ABI. Make mental note; got to be careful or might end up ‘paired-up’ with another numpty like me before long if I’m not careful. I didn’t say this reason/story would be simple so stay with me.

Numty

Totally worth it, Promise.

Over time, I participated in activities at this group and I supported people and they supported me, so all is well. Became friends with Fred and others outside this group. (it’s inevitable: stuff sticks sometimes) Fred had gotten his TBI from pure fuckwitedness (as I like to consider it) his girlfriend was lucky to be alive having been hit by a car crossing the street. But, unlike her boyfriend, she had not had a typical young adult life, like he had, had before his TBI, because she had, had hers at 17 years-old.

Fuckwitedness

He also liked to bond with me because I had been ‘there’ (Clubs/parties) and I remember it. I wasn’t drunk and off my face like nearly everyone else.

Overtime, I became a bit more of a mentor to Fred. I was friendly to his girlfriend, also she was none the wiser. He was also finding excuses to visit socially. FYI: I don’t socialize at 11pm at night, that’s my time.

Mentor

He even had a gay friend drop him over for a coffee one afternoon on a weekend and I was told to ‘look’ after him.

I hope you are getting that he seemed to have told people, I might have been a potential ‘whatever/girlfriend’ when in reality it was always a HELL NO.

Hell No

I decided to discuss this situation with a friend who worked in the industry who was familiar with all of us and our past history etc, her advice to me was.

‘Oh, you should go out with him, because before his ABI, he had four or five girlfriends at a time. Now he’s only got one or two.’

WTF!

Um, I hope you realise, I would not have dated more than one guy at a time before my diagnosis, let alone date a guy who thought he could date more than one woman at a time, I certainly wouldn’t now.

I am also aware I am no longer some Jennifer Hawkins type, now or before my disability, however I’m still not prepared to lower my standards and just accept some broken bit of road kill.

Body

Make mental note: Explain Helen’s definition of Road Kill later.

Road kill

So, back to my point. Yes, apparently it is said, people retain their personality after their ABI/TBI what did I call it? That they had before their (as above).

Personality

Now, this is why I blog.

If I’ve always had my ABI (AVM), have I developed this personality, because of my AVM or despite my AVM?

BAM! There I’ve done it.

Administrator!

Published April 8, 2016 by helentastic67

Office-Administrator-Job-Description

Administrator!

So, sometimes I want to post a blog, just so I can tell people of my accomplishments. And I can but by the time you hear about them a month or more would have come to pass, but it’s the perfect Segway to me telling you about my process and intern my wonderful administrator.

My process starts with me trying to practice “mindfulness”.

Sometimes I’m waiting for the right thing to happen to trigger a post coming together, just right in my mind. I like to write with pen and paper. Old school.

Then, because of my many issues or deficits, whatever I have been stuck with that for about 5 years that I’ve been planning this blog and talking about it.

And I guess it’s taken a while for a few things to fall into place. Admittedly I was slow to get on the Social Media thing, and a bit longer to be introduced to the right person.

And that is how I met my Administrator!

She is my wizard who made my blog become a reality. More of this hero in a moment, but first I write long hand, copy and post about once a month. So far (Scanned once and emailed) and send to someone in Sydney who types my blog posts up, emails to me for final editing and then after she does some final searching for pictures and some networking “she posts”.

And she be my friend Noelle. And I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to tell you about her, so will pause here…..

Sometimes, I want to brag about the things I’ve just achieved, one-handed, but now there is no time.

I often debrief via text to check in with him.

Sometimes they go something like this;

“Had Chiro and Acupuncture today. And if I had a husband I’d be all over that as well!”

Over time I will tell you of my friends. I hope you will understand more about me and what I value by the friends I keep.

Also don’t be confused by the dates on my posts. I am a prolific writer and have been preparing and writing for this blog for years, so at times I will pull something out of my archives.

If and when I do it will be because it’s still current.

Or I’m still really angry about it….