This post is not in any way shape or form intended or otherwise racist. This is how my carers and friends will randomly converse.
Went to see a band with a much younger friend, during the warmer months she is darker, but I don’t really notice.
The gift was an older crowd. She was Id’d on the way in as she looks young and the woman that chose not to be Id’d, me (must have noticed my testing crazy bitch face) looks to me and said she looks really good, I thought she was 21. I said that’s because she’s only 27.
Sitting in a closed off area to one side, I kept glancing past her to see who was heading to the front area to dance. She had noted there were no dark people there. Specifically using the word “black!” As in her people.
She said barely Ok, I see some Asian, she said, I see some Indian but no African or Polynesian people.
It was 5th October 2025 I think sometimes I do love to mention people by name. Particularly when it’s for good reasons. But today I’m going to share an antidote about Auntie Christine. There were three at my council at this time and it was rather comical. In this instance Auntie Christine was the first to get the endearment Auntie. She was Jamima’s Aunty first and she was best known for teaching me the terms “Apron” and “Terrarium” These were the parts of your body that when drying require lifting to dry underneath. The Apron I think named after a 1950’s housewife’s kitchen garment is the part of your belly, men and women that does not stay flat. One older carer who had come from a nursing background would tell me the older bigger men she would shove her forearm up into a client’s apron to lift so she could dry underneath. She said mine wasn’t terrible.
Then, the terrarium? I heard you ask. She said Auntie Christine again, she once went to her doctor with an itchy belly button. The doctor said she had a plant growing in there. She had not dried it properly over time and it grew something. Obviously, the term terrarium creates a nice warm moist environment perfect for small plants or fungus to grow.
The most important part of Auntie Christine was when I learnt she had been a carer for about forty years. I asked her, “I bet you have seen a few bodies?” and I guess we are all critical about our bodies. And it’s hard to imagine putting all that aside to just do a job. Where everything you do is important, might be the kindest touch they have had in a long time. It’s the sentiment in which we communicate how much we care or even that this person is cared for. Auntie Christine answered my question with such a simple and wise response. “Bodies are bodies.” and when you put it like that it does make perfect sense.
Lastly, Auntie Christine was that carer who had to stand there while a family member tore me apart, even when I knew what was coming and tried to steer this conversation in another direction, she double down and kept verbally attacking me until I was in tears. So, it seemed this family member would not have been happy until I was in that state. This family member while beloved will also decide to throw criticism at me when my friend is merely complimenting them for their daughter. She will try to do this because I’ve found other elders to advise me and receive my kindness. I feel they do this because I am a confident and happy person when I’m living life, trying to smile and make people happy.
Meanwhile, Auntie Christine has been retired for about ten years she and her husband living in the country.
This post leads me to say the young male ambulance person that was standing at the end of my bed while I lay there stark naked. He was too young to have seen enough bodies. I was not delirious but mostly not able to string sentences together except to say I was cold and just wanted to go to sleep.
It’s hard and impossible when it’s most important that I cannot tell people who need to know, how I cannot regulate temperature. My head is not and the rest of me is cold. I need to warm my body and sleep off my head returning to normal temperature.
So, sometimes you just know. I’ve been trying a few new carers lately. Trying to find the one that fits into the big gaping hole left by my last super awesome Girl Friday.
Might have been when we pulled up at the Officeworks store and she asked if she needed to bring anything? “Two working arms and a will to live!” “I’ve got one of those things!”
I cannot tell you how happy dark heart and soul that matches mine does for me!
Once a week on a Sunday I have a lovely carer that is the sweetest lady. To be fair, most days my carers will ask how my week went/how my forthcoming week will be? And all my carers are lovely but specifically on Sundays. I tell her I can’t even remember. It’s this process, it comes flooding back. Monday, I had Botox for FREE. Because I had it in my leg, which doesn’t look younger. I had an inspection of the waterproofing on my balcony.
Tuesday, I saw the vampire, officially a phlebotomist for an upcoming appointment. I saw Young John twice to get me there and home again. I once would have just fanged it there on my scooter. But I digress, I went home, inhaled brunch, then out again for a massage.
Home again, smashed out a pasta bake one-handed. Managed to get it in the oven one-handed and sent an S.O.S. in the community chat to help me get it out again. Win! Sent some to a neighbours.
Wednesday, standard midday appointment, was not late. Coffees from favourite café, lunch to go, visit to bank to order new handy card, FFS!
A zoom that I missed with my car team, I received notes later. I have a new Support Coordinator she’s a gun. She’s already got help from her lawyer friends quoting the disability discrimination Act on the whole scooter and storage cage issue.
Thursday, had meeting in my car space with my overqualified handyman and my new OT, asked the most taped in community board member on the OC board to discuss the storage solution for a new scooter. This is actually starting to get some traction.
Apparently, apart from all the safety concerns of a mobility scooter catching fire in the communal space that is the garage. The who’s paying for the power on my scooter topic? Which has been discussed to death in a million ways. Apparently, the committee is largely concerned about the cage being UGLY – UM, can we go with secure and practical to give me back some independence? Then we’ll sort the not ugly. Apparently, the board is much more motivated to assist now the disability discrimination has been mentioned. I will still need to get a plan of the proposed storage cage past the committee, then have my S.C. (Support Coordinator) to lodge a “Change of circumstances” review request to the NDIA including the police report the OT started in 2025 with that was paid to do a job she only half did, did not do.
Friday, standard hunter/gathering day. Robbed everywhere I went, came home, put everything away, smashed out two blonde entre pizza’s, blond being the term for no red sauce. Then walked the short distance with a neighbour to a local bar for a shoe gaze night. Had chips and gravy, delicious. Home by 10pm. Finish chores, admin, bed around 2am.
Friday also received feedback from one place I frequent on my Anzac cookies that are next levelled twice. He thought his “Mate Helen” had shared them with him. I don’t know him well enough to be considered “mate!” had I been in the game right I could have created the side-hustle, I really need to provide 300 cookies for an event. I dropped the ball. Boo.
Saturday, with an assist from my carer, smashed out the steak and salad I normally have every Friday night, ate it Saturday night for dinner. Anyone wonder why I like to go off grid on the weekend?
Some wins and loses this week. To be sure, I now still need to do more waterproofing on my balcony. Also, I need to take my previous water proofers to VCAT since they did not solve the issue yet charged me $$$$$!
Right now, it’s Sunday night of a long weekend. Is anyone imagining a calmer week for Hellonwheels?
Not to mention, I need to rebuild a social profile on a tiny social platform. You know the one? That is a post for another day.
I also managed to put a giant band aid this week on the bullet wound that was all the nights I had tickets for comedy shows, I did not have a plus one, also a separate upcoming post. P.S. Love my comedy/concert friend from Ringworm.
Some days life is full of surprises and the good kind which is rare. I think we can all agree. A few weeks ago, after deciding to make room in my fridge and my freezer it was necessary to go visit my Egg Dealer. I stash things in my freezer to build up a care package for George. When my Tetris skills are pushed beyond their limits an obviously to the market is critical. On this particular Friday, my carer and I headed in the direction of the space George inhibits. As I walked up to his counter a younger woman stood between us. As I walked up to her, she stated, “I love you!” Aw. So, I replied “I love you!” I mean, what else do you do? She repeated herself and I obliged. And she asked, “Can I give you a hug?” So, I gave her a hug. I later shared this scenario with my Sunday carer who looked at me quizzically, I stated, “intellectual disability?”
Back to my hugger, the hug came to a natural conclusion and like the character Alf from the self-titled TV show she ran off. She had left a shopping bag on the counter and I picked it up and offered it to the woman on my right. I confirmed she was with her. She informed me she was her carer, I pointed to my carer to indicted we understood.
So, George, what are you having for dinner tonight? He told me he was being taken out for dinner. It was his birthday on the Saturday. Such good timing, I told him he had eggplant parmigiana for his lunch the next day. I don’t normally deliver people savoury, but I told him I liked him to know I had range. He then gifted me my standard order of thirty eggs. He would not let me pay him, he said it was his good deed for the day.
Despite the fifteen or so blog posts I’ve written in my Drafts folder in my email account mostly in some stages of just ideas I started with when I was too busy to sit & complete the train of thought, a few including up to 10 blog posts I wanted to finish the train of thought before edits completed by a carer and sending, so don’t be surprised when you can’t keep track of my thought process? Keep reading it will all make sense in the end.
2025 has been hectic and as it draws to a close, I’ll give you this.
Sometimes, the littlest, weird thing I may do the right person is curious enough to ask. And they are usually my carers who are here. I have a system of folding my tea towels in a particular way so the edges are all facing out, you can see the different colours and patterns of each and the edges are at the back of the pile, so the messy edges are hidden. I picked up this habit working in a homewares store back in my twenties. I bought a good selection back then and only about ten years ago started to restock after retiring those old tea towels. I would go into the city monthly about ten years ago to see my shrink and if I was early, I’d stop at a particular well-placed linen retailer on my way to the Royal Arcade and buy a few and eventually I had to stop. That is how you successfully build a collection.
Sometimes, the right carer goes to put the freshly washed and folded tea towels away and after noticing the pile is not to our standards, she will offer to take them out and neaten them. Stating, she now does hers the same way.
My carer often leaves me in the car to do my hunter/gathering. She leaves the keys, so I tell her every time without fail “if some hot guy comes along, I’ll offer him me and your car!” followed swiftly by, you will return. Your car will be gone and I’ll be standing here dejected and I offered him so much.
We know that Self-deprecating humour is wrong, thanks Hannah Gatsby, but often it’s my default setting.
Sometimes, I think I should revisit the earlier days of HellOnWheels when life was full, as if it’s not now and I used to do a Hot Off the press post.
So, I guess this is reminiscent of those days. Monday, usually a quiet day at home but not always. Had a video chat with a new carer agency. Proof that every now and again the stuff set in concrete moves and you need to ride the waves of change to keep the boat upright. Is that a good analogy or what. Note, not a question.
Dropped off an old doona, its cover and some pants to an op shop on HellOnWheels, local adventure and went to a business to break a note and drop off some takeaway coffee cups that my carers keep insisting on bringing into my home. Then for the weirdest drug deal ever. You know I don’t do drugs and even in my club days didn’t. So, I think this topic deserves its own post. Went to physio after running into said Physio at the local business in question. Gave him some smack talk suggesting to lessen the imminent pain he was about to cause his patients, to have a nice chamomile tea. He didn’t.
Tuesday had an extra four-hour shift with one of my favourite carers. I know like parents with their kids, you don’t have favourites you just love them differently. When the two Helens get together, we get stuff done. We even did a little local adventure. A regular lady I am friendly with in my travels noticed a different face out with me and asked if she was my sister? Sure, why not?
Admin Day, things were started, booked and we did a little real estate searching. Because, why not? I don’t want to kill myself enough already. Don’t ever look at properties you’ve lived in years earlier and look at the sale history, you will want to kill yourself.
Wednesday, standard chiro. Gave her what’s the term for the – I moved my practice to its new home gift. Was going to go with flowers but they die. Settled on orange Toblerone. The really huge box, I got one for me too and it’s already promised as orange Toblerone mousse in mid-February when some friends come for dinner. They are bringing moussaka, I made lasagna last time and they brought a delicious selection of tiny cakes. Crowd pleaser. It’s a good way to do a dinner party these days. Delivered a bag of my old well-loved Adidas Gazelles I used to wear prior to life with an AFO, those were the days. Gotta run fast to catch the other Helen.
They will find new homes with young refugees who want to play sport. Likely connecting that carer with that locomotion to donate food that is normally disposed of in the bin. I love connecting my people with my other people. Then went to the toy shop I mentioned previously. This brings us to the end of Wednesday, basically.
January has become the time of year I do spring cleaning, carers, businesses I deal with, services I use, take time off. People with children have lives dictated by school holidays, etc. So, I do stuff. Onward
Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I’ll catch up on some data entry, that alone is a never-ending battle.
So, today, best of intentions to go do things. Made some calls to make sure all the balls stay in the air and I maintain something of what I had yesterday.
Had a great day yesterday. Had an extra few hours with a carer and went out to return the hipster paper shredder I purchased just before Christmas. Not a good sign at all.
Hell onWheels/Life One Handed 