Clayton’s Holiday

Published September 23, 2019 by helentastic67

Clayton’s Holidays

There was a drink back in the 80’s and I has become part of Aussie Pop Culture references that crosses all things. The ad was for a drink (beverage) called Claytons.

It refers to it being the drink when you don’t feel like having a drink. A drink without being alcoholic. So, this is a post about a Clayton’s holiday. Get it?

About five years ago, I was with an agency that arranged holidays (group holidays) for their clients. I was able to and included on two holidays, which was really nice as I think it’s been about ten years since I actually had a holiday and even then, that was to Tasmania for two-three nights.

So, the group holidays work out to be only a half day drive from Melbourne and only away over night or two. The other client’s range in age from five (one client’s daughter) to sixty-five (maybe). There were two mini buses with wheelchair lifts on the back (two wheelchairs in the back of each) and usually a car.

I usually bags the front seat of the mini bus (I will do a polishing motion on my backside and one of the carers will effortlessly lift me and deposit me in my seat). Yeah, I do that sexual harassment for the ladies. But I won’t allow a male carer to man-handle the goods. (I’m not light these days, but one lady just effortlessly lifted me making me feel so light.)

Being on a little get away with a bunch of strangers and three or four carers means you have a polite but temporary family type experience.

I always pitch in to help prep a salad or something in the evening as we usually stay somewhere we have a shared meal where ever we stay on the first night, as most meals are eaten out.

The first holiday I went to we stopped on the way back to Melbourne at an outer Melbourne suburb for a lunch and a little adventure.

A friend lived there, so I suggested they join me, so I could catch up with them. Said friend had recently been diagnosed with something quite nasty. They are still in that honeymoon stage of diagnosis where they have had the sugar-coated version of their diagnosis. Goes something like this “OH, you only have 3 lesions…”

Note, privacy being maintained here, yeah. This medical condition is such that when people hear I have a brain injury, I tell them, “Hey! It’s okay, this is my bottom line right now. At least I don’t have XYZ.” Because XYZ is degenerative. It gets worse. It gets shitty. I just gets’ worse.

So, this friend joined my little group of holiday buddies and I briefly introduced them to the group. I’m going to say, I’m terrible with names and I’ve been around this group of people with disabilities now a few years, so in a little desensitized re: medical conditions.

My introduction went like this;

“Brain Injury, MS, Stroke, Stroke, Oxygen deprived at birth (Brain Injury) etc, etc”. And I finished with referring to one particular person in a wheelchair (of which there were five) but the last person I pointed to had the XYZ my non-holiday friend has. “That will be you one day” and they paled considerably.

To be continued

Sweet Success

Published February 11, 2019 by helentastic67

Sweet Success

I’ve had many carers that take me shopping over the years, on a Friday. That is my day for having a carer put me in their car and we go on an adventure. This is when I feel mostly like a normal person. Like I’m hanging out with a friend, laughing, joking, teasing, sharing stories. Having fun right.

Hanging out with Friends

At the moment, I’ve a young lady (Wow, that just happened, I just became an old lady) who is only 23 years old and we have the best time.

Best time

I make the habit of writing shopping list through out the week, so I can restock, but once out, I’m happy to keep an eye out for my favourite things when on special and anything new that might catch my eye.

Shopping List

My carer these days has a rule; I can only get one thing that is not on my list. “Yes Helen, but that’s your one thing”. So of course, the simple answer is you put EVERYTHING ON THE LIST. Correct.

Cherry Ripe

Cherry ripe

Snickers

Chips (you Americans call them Crisps) etc, etc, etc.

Chips

But I then of course make up the rules as we go. “I have to get Jaffa Cakes.” They’re on special. At times I will see something and just sneak it in the trolley, when I’m not looking, she will put it back.

Jaffa cake

Later, I will tell her the last bit of leftover Christmas pudding would have gone so much better with a little thick Bailey’s cream. As I dart my eyes towards her, she will go to take a defensive tone with me and I’ll tell her it doesn’t matter.

Christmas pudding

One week, we were in the lolly isle, I reached for a Cherry Ripe bar ($1) bonus reward points. C’mon, and a debate ensured.

Cherry ripe on special

“No! You already have your one thing?

“But these are on special”

“No!”

So, I just put them in the trolley. She stated that only if she could have one.

“Fine!” she thought that could stop me.

She probably needs a hit of sugar to complete her shift with me and then I told her I was allowed to get two Snickers bars. We had a quiet drive to our next destination as we both ate our Cherry Ripe and Snickers.

Snicker bars

I still win.

I win

Often by the time we work our way around, the regular familiar staff we encounter, wonder what we are giggling about, so we explain the “One thing that isn’t on the list” rule. They share their solutions for me to have a work around. But then this scenario is my young charges worst nightmare. We are standing in the queue for our checkout. On my left (my blind side) is this wall of TIM TAMS and she noticed it before I did or at least I didn’t connect. I suggested to move the trolley closer and I could just scoop them all in the trolley.

Tim Tams

We agreed it was her biggest nightmare! No one is due a TIM TAM care package. Not eve to Texas (even she can’t be trusted – she has to wait) and I already have two unopened packets in the fridge.

Tim Tams 1

Today’s Lunch – 9th January 2019

Published January 9, 2019 by helentastic67

todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Sometimes good things happen when least expected and even better if I can give a life lesson. You know I worked in nightclubs back in the 90’s for 5 years? Yeah, it felt like 10, but it was intense three to six nights a week. No drugs and barely any alcohol. Yeah so last week I had lunch with a chick I knew from back in those days. Yes, we were friends yet I hadn’t seen her since those days, losing touch because I moved back to the country for two years and her relocating across the ditch. This was before everybody had a mobile phone.

working in nightclub

While my club career added to my skill set, it didn’t lead to further employment shall we say.
However, meet Skye Bromberg. She was the receptionist at some of the clubs I worked at and the Door-Bitch at another. Telling young guys in bad suits they couldn’t enter the club because she “couldn’t guarantee their safety”, (because the regular patrons would want to sort them out)
Club work really can lead to bigger and better careers.

http://www.abc.net.au/local/videos/2010/11/04/3056809.htm

And here is Mika playing with her new toy. Many thanks to Stephanie, she loves it!

mika & fish

And then just before Christmas a gift arrived into my letterbox. It was from ‘Santa!’ and while I do all my gifts from ‘Santa’ if I put it in your hand you know it’s from me. Now, this gift was are specially from the man in red, and I am stumped! Welcome to my Happy Socks!

I have been asking everybody! It’s going to drive me crazy! Just crazy!

going crazy

One more week and my favourite cafe is back! So, today’s lunch was closer to home, much closer.
Today’s offering is a beetroot salad with goats’ cheese and my medicine, of course.

salad

latte

Cheers,
H

Rehab – Part 6

Published November 5, 2018 by helentastic67

Rehab Part 6

Rehab Part – 6

I have carers, as you know who take me shopping and even my morning carer that helps me get ready after my shower, to face the day, they all become my friends. It’s inevitable, the ones I can’t crack are usually very reserved, on account of them not planning to put down roots and those don’t plan to stay in the job long term, choosing to move onto other things.

Carer morning routine

When out and about on my shopping adventures, it’s much more like I’m hanging out chatting with a girlfriend.

Shopping adventure

I might have mentioned, my carers are usually older, sometimes younger, rarely my actual age.

I’m now 46 years old and I get along with all my carers regardless of their age.

Carer friends

Off to the supermarket on Friday, I don’t remember what we were discussing when I said “Yeah, well, I finished High School in 1990.”

Supermarket shopping.

And she said

Wait for it.

“I wasn’t even born then”

not born yet

Yeah that just happened and then later that day.

Today’s Lunch – 23rd May 2018

Published May 23, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch 1

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Meeting a friend

It’s funny how my weeks pan out at times. Every week is the usual crazy. But this week, I’ve managed to make it more social. So, Monday. Had lunch close to home with a friend. This is my lunch and hers.
Little Henrys Little Henrys 1

Tuesday, had planned to go to another place a little further with a friend who has just returned from a holiday in Cuba, I always invite her to visit and I take her on an adventure and I love that she is open to doing different things. We have done the tulip festival, visited my Mr Miyagi, many, many lunches, we have visited a large bonsai supplier, and the day was no different. While, the intended location of lunch was not open we went for a wander and came across a cafe that we both enjoyed a vegetable curry. Mine came with a roti folded in the shape of a napkin.

Vegetable Curry Roti

We had a discussion that my Wednesday posts have already hit a Arancini slump I fall into for winter. So, in my efforts to change things up a little, I hope you enjoyed these pictures for something completely different.

And finally, today’s offering, Moroccan chicken and turmeric rice salad.
And my standard medicine!

Chicken and rice

Latte

Cheers,
H

Blessing

Normal

Published May 14, 2018 by helentastic67

Normal

Lately, I’ve had a new batch of carers come to me for a variety of different services. They have come from different cultural, religious backgrounds and different ages and beliefs and education.

Different

And again, here I come explaining some common-sense stuff, some manners (you heard me) and that it’s not sad or against God if someone is Gay.

Common Sense

I’m not Gay, but seriously I didn’t survive this long without having Gay friends. But it’s weird that again a new batch of carers and I have to be the one to explain what I accept as normal is actually ‘NORMAL’.

Normal is normal

If I’ve got a guy in the peripheral of life who is my friend, values me for who I am, is the right amount of bitchy, right amount of foody talk and a decent degree of understanding and empathy. What do I care they are into penises? And not V-jay jay. It makes life easier that I know they’re not trying to get into my pants.

Gay friends

They obviously appreciate me for the other parts of me. I think I’m lucky for my Gay friends.

Oh, yeah the manners part.

Good Manners

Sometimes I have carers who just help themselves to things, like tissues or rechargeable phones (WTF). Some girls walk through the lounge, grab a napkin (and I’m watching this as I follow them) they scrunch it up and throw it in the kitchen bin.

Seriously, I’m more than a bit “Green” and I’m not made of money.

Not made of money

Muslims

Published April 10, 2018 by helentastic67

Sorry I’m late…

Muslims

Here is my very simple rant on the topic of both Muslims and Terrorists and to follow a few witty stories.

It’s very simple, so I figure (and keeping in mind) I was raised a Catholic. Anglican mum, Catholic dad.

Muslims and Terrorists.
Muslims are Muslims,
Terrorists are Terrorists,
and I don’t like to presume one automatically means the other.

Muslims vs Terrorists

To be fair, I have one Muslim friend and we were friends while we did a course together, for a year or so, then life moves on and her life got busy and now we are only Facebook friends. When she hears my witty comments on her posts she tells me, she misses me.

Muslim friends

But here’s the funny part.

One day we were driving to another friend to meet for afternoon tea and I asked what her hair looks like? (she wears a scarf only), so her hair has never been visible, we did a deal.

Wearing a scarf

At the afternoon tea location, she would remove her scarf, if I would take out my hair. It’s become the norm to just wear a bun. Mostly since I was sixteen, with the exception of when I had NO HAIR.

Helens bun

The deal was struck.

Two things came out of this, as far as I could tell.

When people don’t see your hair you really don’t care what condition it’s in and I suspect you can’t pamper yourself by going to a hairdresser to get it done. (I get mine done once a year and I’m overdue by months now) But more amusing.
She told me, if I wore mine out I’d get a ……… wait for it…. A HUSBAND

Hair down

Does anyone else feel the irony?

Find husband

Hot off the Press – 5th March 2018

Published March 5, 2018 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

There are times I do miss my standard Hot off the Press post! When I’ve had a busy week and there’s plenty to share. Or maybe when ‘something’ happens that I think no one would believe it if I didn’t take a photo.

Busy week

So, that said. Occasionally I want to create some social contract with friends that I don’t get to see very often I will schedule a spot to catch up even if I lose a free lazy day during the week. Of course, all of my appointments have the potential to be social adventures because I see the same people every week, so it’s natural they have become friends. But just social catch-ups are important too. I schedule things weeks in advance to work around mine and others busy schedules and this is why I book my standard maintenance appointments months in advance. Those being my Chiropractor, acupuncture, Osteo/miotherapy, etc. those are the things that keep me independent. So, social is a bonus.

Socializing

Monday, Osteo saw Natalie at the Welly who was exhausted but excited as she bought her first home. Can no longer do the happy dance. I encourage the 5th year Osteo student to do it for me. It’s the dance where you jump on the spot with your arms up and maybe chant something appropriate to the occasion like “Natalie got her first home!” Nothing to arduous, but more than I can manage……….

Cheering on

Tuesday, had a spare day, after having rescheduled my normal maintenance and my mio/remedial a
appointment fell over. (It happens), I go out on Hellonwheels for an adventure and delivered some homemade muffins to Lucy (she and her hubby own a milkbar and holds my Sunday Age and is Megi’s sister). Then I delivered to Megi’s, my old neighbour and free food trade agreement partner! Then I went to a semi-regular cafe for another delivery. This time to Mina. Over coffee I did some writing for my blog. Seem to have been inspired this week. I’m actually catching up. Tuesday was rather warm and while it would have been ideal to have been in air-conditioned comfort I got out and had a good day. Even made it home and continued the successes by doing some admin.

Tuesday

Wednesday, you would have seen my foodie post? Standard Punchy/stabby day. With one small exception. This!

As I was hobbling across the street to get from my favourite lunch cafe to my Chiro, I encountered some guys educating the general public to the plight of someone less fortunate. (Apologies, I didn’t notice) and I do make a conscious effort to shut down the do you want to sponsor this charity talk pretty quickly because I’m poor but I attempt to chat so they have some interaction. I confess to say, they do prompt you with a “oh, what are you doing today?” Thing and very quickly I do the I’m sorry but I’m running late. (Not a lie) these agencies normally employ foreign travellers. This one was Irish and while we briefly spoke I was distracted by something over his shoulder, I asked him to confirm what I was seeing? Irish Guy was having trouble hearing, being a traveller, medical appointments being expensive, I offered some very generic medical advice.

Needless, to say I might be half blind but I did. I did. I did see a guy in the bakery behind him with a snake around his shoulders! Irish guy insisted it was a python and not poisonous. I moved to cross the street and the snake guy left the bakery and headed in my direction. I was concerned the snake would be next to me while I waited to cross at the lights. I shot a startled glance to the Irish lad. But all was well, when snake guy sat on a bench to drink his drink he had just purchased. Meanwhile, snake had a mind to depart. I couldn’t miss a good photo opportunity, right? I’m not snake phobic, just appropriately snake-reluctant.

Snake on bench

After the awkward “is it a boy of a girl” moment, she! Is 4.5 years old. Sure, sure.

Got to Chiro and my Chiro was very blaze. “oh, yeah. He’s famous in this area” like it’s a regular occurrence to see a person walking around carrying rats or a snake (yeah, seen rats on occasion, too)
Prompting me to ask, is it normal to just take your snake for a walk? “C’mon. Walkies”

Snake on shoulders

Then, as if my week hadn’t been. It’s enough, Thursday! Went to my very local and had lunch with a friend. She had this amazing excuse to have a lot of cheese. A glorified toasted cheese sanga….

Cheese sanga

And I added chicken to the beetroot salad. Which looks like this!

Salad

Standard Friday home in the morning, shopping with young Jennifer and some very efficient cooking ok, not from scratch but still. Then like my week wasn’t crazy enough to implement my off-grid Saturday. I found myself doing full adult (wore a bra all day!) in preparation to go out in the early evening. My artist friend Larissa (previously mentioned for her handstands) had some work in a local exhibition. I got it together, changing my clothes and putting on my AFO and shoes and hobbled off to the grand opening.

Friday

Turns out it was a fundraising event for the local Greens member Alex Bhathal. I should mention, I live in the district of Batman! How cool is that? For my American followers, we register at 18 to vote and it is compulsory to vote. The artwork was all kinds of interesting. Always and her partner bid and won a piece of Larissa’s work. The other also being bought as were they all. We left this event after dark (during Day lights savings that’s around 8pm) and Larissa and her friend gave me a lift home where we had a nice cuppa tea and a chat. (issued my medicine Saturday! It’s fair to presume I could have died without my latte.)

Batman

Now, like that wasn’t enough. I had planned a Sunday lunch catch-up with some work colleagues from about 15 years ago. I catch up with both of these friends separately, but rarely so, because they have both got busy lives. I’m the common denominator and our last coffee catch-up was about six years ago. Got ready to do full-adult again. When I got a message, lunch was postponed and I couldn’t have been happier. Back to bed! As a Sunday should be spent! And to those who love to tell me I could have a job (you heard) because I’m pretty switched on. My question to you is: where would I put that? (and the migraine I’ve had on and off all week!)

Sunday

Another crazy week ahead with mum down to do Team Helen stuff. I’ll try to include some details on my Wednesday lunch. Hopefully my Punchy/stabby day goes to plan. I could do with a little less. Crazy chaos somewhere this week. Here’s to another crazy week! Who-hoo!

New week

Today’s Lunch – 28th February 2018

Published February 28, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch 2802 1

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Ok, I have some catching up to do on photos and explanations, because occasionally I’ve had lunch out, unreported because I ate before forgetting to take a photo as proof.

Friends

So, last week I went out for lunch with a friend very local to home and my friend had this – I’ve had it previously. It’s a quinoa and cauliflower and chickpea salad. I would add chicken strips because I eat meat so just try to imagine it?

Quinoa

I had the salt and pepper calamari with salad. It was missing some colour this time. Pomegranate season must be over.

Calemari

Yesterday, I got it together despite it being a great day to stay inside with air conditioning, I went on a big adventure to deliver some of my muffins in my old neighbourhood. On Hellonwheels, ending my adventure at a cafe for a coffee and some writing. This was the medicine I had.

Latte 1

Even had a little visit with Wilbur yesterday. The newsagents he resides at during the day has relocated in recent weeks. The cat-Mum had to tell me where he was hiding. He is settling in well but his new favourite place is behind the registers and under the bench top. She encouraged me to reach over the counter and I to a hole where my hand met with Wilbur’s head. I gave him some scratches and pats and rubbed his ear.

Cat hiding

I have my first inspection in a few weeks and despite the law not coming into effect until 2019 (so far away!) I’m really hoping I can start to prepare for my next fur-baby! Sick of being that weird crazy cat lady without a cat.

And of course, today. Today’s offering is a pancetta quiche with side salad and my standard medicine! (Need to mainline my medicine today; straight in the vein!)

Pancetta Quiche

Latte 2

Cheers,
H

Cat day

Homebody

Published February 23, 2018 by helentastic67

Homebody

I confess to say, I don’t often go out for lunch or dinner or anything else exciting. Obviously, that is to say I go to my favourite café every Wednesday where I’m writing this post right now. But I mean other than that.

I have a few friends that take me out occasionally each year and those adventures, I really appreciate.

Adventure

Firstly, these were the characters I called friend that day and for obvious reasons, I’ve also taken the liberty of creating acronyms.

There’s the oldest in the party who was very anxious and socially awkward that day, feeling she was over dressed. Let’s call her (A.S.A.). Then, there was the youngest, a jeweller, the only one in real life, the tallest. Let’s call her the Giant.

Friends

These two have been housemates for the better part of twenty years, so they have back catalogue of experiences and conversations only they share. I’m already the third wheel with these two and these two stayed at my house the night before and escorted me to lunch.

House mates

The other two characters are best described as Miss Piggy (self-confessed, I didn’t say it) and the down to earth surfy chic. (who is not a leggy blond) Sorry guys.

I often feel socially awkward around these friends, it’s a bit passive/aggressive and I seem the only one who is aware that some of them are rather grumpy with one of the others. Miss Piggy to be exact. But we all catch up so rarely everyone puts on a happy face.

Socially Awkward

I should mention it’s a week before Christmas and it’s a Christmas gathering. I feel like I get a lot of criticism from the moment the day starts and as two of them get ready at my home, I’m aware Miss Piggy and the Surfer Chic have probably made a bet as to, if we will be late or not as we have the lesser distance to travel and if we’re late I will somehow be to blame. I booked a carer at the appropriate time, so I would be ready to go without any assistance.

being late