Let the Games Begin

Published June 25, 2018 by helentastic67

Let the Games Begin

I’ve been sitting and planning this post for about six months. Since I’ve been getting carers through an Agency, funding by the NDIA.

NDIS Carers

Dealing with HR (Human Resources) issues is super “NOT HOT” when getting and keeping good carers. The carers I’ve had the four years from my Council, through to HACC (Home and Community Care) which is state funded. They walk in, they ask “the normal” and they get to it and anything else they might choose to make their little project, when they leave, they might debrief me.

Choosing Carers

“I did the dishes, the stove, the benches, the kitty litter, the bins and xyz” by then, I’m nodding and shooing them out the door saying “I know, I trust you”.

They arrive, they leave, probably a little over the timeframe I am meant to have them but I know I can trust they did more than needed and they leave satisfied they will be happy with what they achieved and my cheek and personality has boosted them to get through the day. Sounds egotistical, but it’s a mutual thing.

Cheeky Personality

This is why despite having sufficient NDIS funding, I haven’t just opened the flood gate to get ‘God Knows’ how many new carers to cover 16 hours every week. I would go mental.

In six months, I’ve lost count how many carers I’ve had, but I’ve blocked three from returning for various reasons. Some have injured me, some we just had a personality clash (to be diplomatic) and some I just outright couldn’t deal with them anymore. There is one I really liked that I think cancer-wise she moved on.

So, there is a common thread that some act like I need them more than they need me because of me having a disability, is a little bit like I’m a commodity for them paying their bills.

Human Commodity

I get it that they do this job because they enjoy it and get some rewards from helping people and nobody would deny they don’t need the money, but I can tell when people work in this industry purely because they see it as a stress-free income.

I can tell when carers vie for my attention, asking coy questions to find out if I have other shifts they can utilise or if a carer must love coming to me because I’m friendly or chatty or (wait for it) YOUNG.

Love the work

I had one lady, I swear she arrived and she was old. I’m not ageist, however her face was very wrinkly and she looked ‘older than God’. She turned out to be younger than Aunty Christine, she has actually aged well. But this other lady, she was jumping up and down telling me all about how young and active she was because she wanted me to want more of her.

Older than God

I can also tell when carers prefer to spend time with clients who are intellectually handicapped, because they think they can do what they want, say what they want and they don’t get held accountable.

Intellectual Disability

It’s also challenging to keep or put boundaries in place because I am so friendly and independent. Who knew either of those things could ever be bad traits?

Bad Traits

So, carers sometimes come and go very quickly. You can have too much of a good carer and you burn out or get over a good thing and not enough of the awesomeness.

In recent years, if I rang my council and managed to get the ‘right’ person who knew my reasons and standards, I would be able to add someone to my ‘blocked list’ without questions.

Carer block list

Now, they require an Incident report and the first one was an embarrassing incident where I suffered a scraping type of injury about an inch above my “Chocolate Starfish”.

I don’t know why, since I generally dry there myself. But when I asked the trusted Aunty Christine, she swore black and blue (oh, how I love her) and that was that. No more ‘older than God’ carers.

Black and blue

The others, it seems to be, they come to work but would clearly prefer to be somewhere else. On their phones, arranging social activities with friends, doing parenting or maybe just filling in time. Since they don’t actually want to find ‘something’ to do. Having carers is a blessing and a hindrance and while I’m all about flexibility, there are limits.

I can’t arrange my needs around their lives, if it’s dark at 5.10pm – (Autumn currently) the washing comes in by then. So, no can’t have you come early at 2.45pm because it’s too early and the shift is at 5.30pm.

So, the games go both ways and I’m usually the one who puts up with more or goes without, which starts to feel like a human rights issue.

Human Rights

Pentoring

Published June 22, 2018 by helentastic67

Pentoring

Ironically, a few years ago I was at a market in a neighbouring suburb and after a purchase from a regular store I’ve frequented for about fifteen years, the woman said goodbye, by wishing me a happy Mother’s Day. I was a little startled and told her I wasn’t a mother, she had said it the same way people might finish a sale by saying “Merry Christmas” or such. She was very, “Oh, that’s OK” about wishing me (not a mother) a happy Mother’s Day.

In reality, I’ve had two younger sisters, one now twenty-eight. Whose nappies I’ve changed and baths I’ve given, but I’ve never had children and certain me having is not going to happen. For a few years I also took on the role of step-mum, but that also wasn’t a scenario I was given any credit for and Mother’s Day has just come and gone and I’ve found I’ve been influencing a younger generation in the last ten years, since my disability, with the young carers I’ve had. I haven’t had many young carers, but at the moment I’ve two carers who are half my age.

HALF!

And I’m finding myself doing a cross between parenting and mentoring. That’s my weird term Pentoring, I’ve matched together for it.

One chick, is one of sixteen children and her mother is present and a good mum, however this young lady has the bratty behaviour of a child who has not much reason for discipline and hasn’t been taught to ask for things, she just helped herself. I’ve had to implement the rule “Helen’s house! Helen’s rules!” when I’ve hit a brick wall having her to do things in my home and don’t worry. I turn my back and she goes and does things exactly how she wants to do it.

The other young carer I have right now is finding her way and I have many, many suggestions and much wisdom to share. She has had a very different situation growing up and while I can offer her these things, I can’t enable her by doing it for her.

So, Pentoring

Today’s Lunch – 20th June 2018

Published June 20, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Now, for something a little different. Are you aware I spend my Saturdays off-grid? No emails, no mobile, no touching my diary. Don’t do ‘Adult’ and if I can avoid it barely do ‘Person’ (No shoes, no bra, no having to be polite to people) so, Saturday went like this, Melbourne collected by my sister and her partner around 9am.Jerrilderie, Tocumwal, Griffith and a 70th birthday party and a cousin’s reunion. Haven’t seen most of my relatives on my mum’s side since my grandfather’s funeral over ten years ago. I hadn’t had my disability for long and thankfully not too many questions about what I did, or what happened to my arm. It there’s nothing like being asked how often I see my older sister who only lives 90 minutes away, how often we see each other since we live so close and my sister stepping back to let me answer. Twice a year, to kill a conversation. Isn’t there always an assumption that if someone in a family is sick or broken that people can put their own stuff aside to help? My sister mentioned being busy. She has just been in Europe for a month’s holiday. Great pictures by the way.

Family reunion

In general, I’ve found if you are not married or in a relationship, don’t have children and don’t work, nobody really asks anything. Oh, I was asked how I was, sure but you know the only answer I gave was “Good. Yeah, good. I’m here!” What am I meant to say? But really, there’s not much to be done about it. I did however meet my second cousin, he was still in a high chair. What just happened? They are prolific breeders up in New South Wales. (I don’t mean to make that sound wrong) So, here are some fun photos.

You know you are in a small country town when you see this.

Pastries

And the Ned Kelly things.

Ned Kelly

And the only photo I took of our motel in Griffith. Seemingly, the land of oranges and grapevines.

Motel

And impressively, with all my years of clubbing in Melbourne and playing my music obnoxiously loud, I’ve never been to a party where all of a sudden around 11pm, we realised it had gotten quiet outside only to be told the police had come and shut the party down. Neighbours had complained about the music and the police agreed it wasn’t even very loud. Outside it was very cold and this was a great source of warmth, if you could be on a constant rotisserie.

Fire pit

Never has my favourite App on my phone been so abused. Yes, the weather App. 9 degrees outside and the most important part. “feels like 4”. They also breed them tough in New South Wales. Clearly.

Cold Weather

Oh, not to mention the birthday cake? Did I mention, they are a family and generation of sewers.

Birthday Cake

And the CWA approved Pavlova!

Pavlova

So Sunday, back to Melbourne. Left Griffith around midday. How long did it take to get back? I hear you ask? All friggin day! Seriously, so far! We came back via Yarrawonga and stopped to catch up with my dad. He doesn’t live there but is there regularly. Lunch, lemon, lime and bitters with a coffee for the road.

Plane

And, where were we?

Today’s lunch!

I got distracted by talking to real people. They were lovely. Had pizza today, no salad. Just pizza.
And medicine. Have been watching the pizza show by some Italian hipster dude from New Jersey.
So, let there be pizza!
Pizza Latte

There is only Chiro today. No acupuncture. Might need extra medicine today

Chiropractor

Cute

Published June 18, 2018 by helentastic67

Cute

I’ve been called many things in my life. Many, many things and on a rare occasion I get called ‘cute’ or more that I have done something ‘cute’.

Being cute

Last week upon arriving at my favourite café, I don’t speak ‘hospitability’ so it’s got the system where you arrive, walk past all the beautifully made and displayed “sweet things”, then the savoury. You are often prompted by a friendly face behind the counter who takes your order, you pay, shuffle along, receive a number on a small metal stand. Then you take a seat and your purchase arrives with a cheery smile. To be clear, I don’t need a number. The staff know my by name and where I sit.

Walk into a cafe

Occasionally, someone doesn’t seem to know the ‘system’ and I don’t want to push in, if they are ahead of me in the queue, so I offer a prompt, if they are undecided about what to get.

Make a decision

Two slim gentlemen were away from the counter, so I kindly asked if they needed help to decide. They very shyly motioned they were waiting for their order to take with them.

My name was said and I looked behind the counter (on my blind side) Robert the owner was there. I thought to mention to the waiting me, this was Robert the owner when he handed out a packet of “Goodness” to them and I read the situation correctly to move on.

Move on

I politely smiled, inclined my head and moved to order, pay and find my seat.

Let me premise this next bit by saying, to the common foodie, like me, famous chefs host Masterchef and go by the names, George (Calembasis), Gary (who my chiro states, is seen out in her neighbourhood walking his dog) and Matt (Preston). The cravat king of Australia.

Masterchef

Once in my seat in the room before the kitchen, he stopped at my table to ask me what I had said out the front, I explained and he told me it was really cute because…

Oh? Why?

Keeping in mind, a woman once asked if the carrot cake was good. Said customer was like me, we do not eat a packet mix carrot cake. It must be moist and have cream cheese frosting with just the right amount of sugar. Just like a CWA (Country Women’s Association) would make.

Carrot cake

Like I make or my mother. The staff member she asked at the time was new and hadn’t tried the carrot cake, so I offered my tick of approval. I didn’t just tell her it was good, because I thought it would sound trite, so I did it creatively. She seemed to appreciate my efforts, I’m certain she bought it.

So, I digress. My offer to advise was cute, because he was a famous chef.

Famous chef

What! Was he? He wasn’t George, Gary or Matt Preston and I don’t do ex-foodie adventures, so I didn’t know, I had to ask.

Robert mentioned several restaurants around Melbourne, he owns all of which meant little to me. I asked him to write down his name for me, he obliged.

I have some “Foodie” friends and my older sister and partner, do the “Foodie” scene in Melbourne.

Foodie Friend

Mentioning him to my Boo, my friend who once worked for Gordon Ramsay, gave me a bit of a “meh” OK? Which I took to be akin to a “whatever”, so I mentioned to another of my gay “Foodie” friends, who very promptly responded with a big smile.

Gordon Ramsay

Have I mentioned yet, I’m really “chill” around famous people?

Famous people

Smart

Published June 15, 2018 by helentastic67

Smart

Something I love about my carers I’ve had for some time is I can have my smart mouth or my sharp tongue with them and they get my humour and respond as they are meant to. My regular carer arrived this morning and it was the first serious frost outside.

Smart mouth

Not quite ‘pea-soup’ consistency, but not great. She came up the stairs to the front door and I pointed to the frost and told her “I blame you for that!”

Frost

Obviously, she does not have super powers, but she responded in kind with “I wish I had those powers!”

Later when she was doing my hair at the dinning room table, she tugged a little hard on my ponytail. I let out and “ouch”.

Brushing hair

She said sorry and I told her she would be. She laughed.

Had my mum have been there as in the past, she would chastise me like a child. I know, but sometimes it’s the little things…

Naughty

Today’s Lunch – 13th June 2018

Published June 13, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Well, time to confess. I start this post Tuesday night before going to bed so I can get a head start on everything that happens Wednesday. I do much prep work every day so the following day or days runs to plan.

Early start

Remember that migraine I had a week ago? Yes? Still got it! My GP would normally give me a jab in the ass of Tremadol. I always joke I’ll have it in the left glute please since I don’t feel it as much. Tremadol is high up in the food-chain of opiates. An injection normally knocks me out within half an hour so I have to hurry up and get home to bed. Tuesday after a big day in the city I got home just before 5pm. I took a Tremadol tablet (slower acting) and went to bed. Got up at 7.30pm, having not slept and still with the migraine.

Butt injection 1

There is no God!

It’s much earlier than I normally tap this out on my iPad and I might be lucky if I make it to midnight and I have trouble getting to bed or sleep before 1am. Don’t see the point anyway, since the street cleaners come around from then on. I failed to mention last week I found that pine-orange mushrooms have finally come into season. As a family when I was a kid, we would go to the pine-Forrest’s an hour away from home to pick them around the Easter weekend when the season started.

Bed with migraine

So, to be fair tonight’s dinner will be a very simple fry-up of potato chips a capsicum and just a few of these mushrooms cut up like fat chips. So simple, so tasty and again, like the prickly pear I can’t describe what the pine orange mushrooms taste like. I can tell you they do give you slightly weird dreams but considering the antidepressants I’m on already gives me those, that doesn’t mean much.

Dinner tonight

People often comment that I seem to be ok(?) about my disability. I prompt to explain how they mean this? And they suggest I don’t seem depressed, I tell them I’m self-medicated. Then there’s the assumption I’m mean, I smoke pot. I have never so I explain I’m on just the right amount of antidepressants. I’m on a small dose enough to keep me emotionally even without disturbing my sleep too much. Because they can.

Antidepressants 1

Did not get to have lunch today, despite going to bed by 11pm! (it was a miracle) I slept on and off all night. I still felt seedy so had a kip before coming out instead of lunch. Here is a photo instead of the pine orange mushrooms that will be part of tonight’s dinner.

Orange mushrooms

Your welcome!
Cheers,
H

Happy day

Scooter Etiquette

Published June 11, 2018 by helentastic67

Scooter Etiquette

Get out of the Fucking way! Is that rude to say that? I did mention early on that I swear and that has meant I’ve been really good not to in print – much.

Get out of the way

Or I substitute other “words” or phrases, I do my best. Often when debriefing someone about some shitful situation, my frustration is so great every other word is the F* Bomb.

I do it with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye and when I do this with people who know me they find my humour and appreciate it too. Thankfully.

Twinkle in the eye

Make a mental note: Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and smile and let you be yourself.

So, I’m getting back into my lunch at my favourite café on Wednesday, no matter how poor I am, so I can write and today, despite being Autumn in Melbourne I was able to scooter.

Lunch

As I was cruising along the High Street to where I have my last appointment and I park my scooter, I was stuck behind two girls just dawdling along. One walking, the other walking her bike, both definitely ‘blocked’ me (saw me other their shoulders) and neither decided to make room, so I could pass. I was late for my rendezvous with Young John and as I was passing the Post Office, I still wanted to make a quick stop.

Walking in front of scooter

So, these fucking girls, not a fricken care in the world.

I have a horn on my scooter that I rarely use. It’s more a “beep” so, I avoid using it. But occasionally, I’m tempted to just growl.

Get out of the fucking way

“GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!”

Is that rude?

Is that rude

God, But not what you think

Published June 8, 2018 by helentastic67

God not what you think

God – Not what you think!

Osteo/Remediate/Mio/Chiro/Acupuncture/Physio. This is starting to be a typical week for me and by the time I get to the last one on the list, they obviously think I’ve overdone it and they seem to think I might be confused as to who helps and who doesn’t.

Typical Week

I love the mentality of some medical professions that think they are the only one’s who can help me and they question all the other things I do as being not worthy.

Professional Mentality

I generally see the benefits of all the above things I do and I will favour the people more open minded because all of the above keep me upright, walking and talking.

Dr says

Everyone has had a part and getting me this far, some more than others and it is up to me to decide what I need and for how long. And I don’t need anyone else to act like they are God and think they know what’s best for me.

Think they are God

Not family, doctors, the Government or a Case Manager.

I know best

Today’s Lunch – 6th June 2018

Published June 6, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Despite a busy week I managed to get down here two days in a row. This is what I had here yesterday. It was a yummy cwoissant (imagine me saying it with a bit of a French Accent) with pumpkin, feta and spinach with medicine. To go with the migraine I had.

Crossiont Latte

Also had added drama of no landline or internet and my mobile was low on battery all friggin day!
Not suggesting the cause of yesterday’s migraine but sure as heck didn’t help!

No internet

And today’s offering I feel a little like I may have found a work-around to having a Arancini Zaffarino. Just come twice, week and my standard medicine.

Arincino

Latte 1

Even got to scooter today! Two hipsters following me on the footpath on their bikes, huh? When I pulled up in front of the acupuncturist to park the Hipsters thanked me, I don’t know what for because I’m legally allowed to use the footpath and I have insurance. They legally cannot and don’t (have insurance.)

Scooter

Migraine prevails………..next!
Cheers,
H

Good day

Joke

Published June 4, 2018 by helentastic67

Joke

Here’s a joke for you.

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

(I sweat this joke is 20 years old and I don’t mean any offense. It’s just a reference for the next joke.)

A: A bloody good start…

Lawyer joke

The 90’s! They were rough right? I think today the joke should be…

Q: What do you call 100 Real Estate Agents at the bottom of the ocean?

mmmmmm….

You get my point now, don’t you?

Looking for a new rental property can be brutal. A tenant seems to give notice and the Real Estate advertises it straight away. I get that it’s their job to keep rent coming in for their landlords, but….

Real Estate

The outgoing tenant hasn’t really looked around at their options. I can’t see it until closer to it being available and then there’s a ten-minute open for inspection, where 15-20 other people are there also.

Smaller apartment

I often email the agent to say, are their any stairs? I can do about four steps with a handrail, that’s my limit.

I have been to see a property, it’s cheaper than what I’m currently paying and smaller and not further away from my comfort zone.

There’s no washing machine taps in the bathroom. There is a shower over a bath. Yes, I did ask. The property is way too small. As I walk out, the property manager is standing there at the bottom of the steps to more flats upstairs and she’s telling everyone as they have a communal laundry up the stairs. Sometimes I think there should be a charge for my time and them wasting it.

Communal Laundry