Chronic Pain
Think I just became a poet.
We push and pull. I think we weigh our options every day.
We push and pull.
We borrow and loan.
We do this all alone.
Look, I’m a poet.
I wrote this comment on a social media post. I thought it was too good not to share on my own platform.
Don’t think poetry is my bag. To be honest.
The Last Weekend in September
Once again, it’s that time of year when this weekend just passed, Australians gathered to yell at their televisions or went to an oval to yell at the outcome of two leading teams pitted one against another. Once a year I try to do a sporty post for people that way inclined. Don’t know if anybody here is bothered? But Hellonwheels don’t do sport. Not really interested.
When I was young, I was dragged to Little Aths, short for Little Athletics in my hometown to run sprints and other sporty things. I was pretty good at running and even high jump. I had my own technique of running hell for leather at the matt and at the last second throwing myself headfirst over the bar landing on the back of my neck in a roll. Alas, at some point my interest or skill waned. Not sure which but being dragged to this torture ceased.
Meanwhile, I’ve stated before my interest in the AFL is rather low. The grand final was this Saturday just gone. My team who shall remain nameless has not won a grand final since the mid-90’s. Shame! Shame! Just disappointing.
Alas, my interest to sit through a game even on TV is zero and the end of the season I want my team to not be on the bottom. Collingwood not to be on the top and the cup to stay in Victoria. Because I’m old school and am loyal to a time when all the teams existed in Victoria from the days of it being called the VFL.
You can get some history here…….https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_Football_League
A few years ago, a new favourite carer started on my usual Friday shift. It was halfway through the day, we realised our teams were to face-off that night. Causing me to state “That’s it! We can’t be friends no more” and we have roasted each other about it ever since.
So, repeating.
1) Carlton cannot be on the bottom.
2) Collingwood cannot be on the top.
3) And the Cup stays in Victoria with the exception of rule Number 1.
And for the last two years the Cup has ended up out of state.
Since having a new Pies friend Pies is the team mascot for Collingwood. I’ve occasionally sent the text to previously mentioned carer now friend. “Go Pies!” And have been rewarded with a row of these “🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕” Followed by an equally succinct row of these.”😭😭😭😭😭😭”
You can do your own research. It’s a serious game the only safety gear being a mouthguard.
One of my carers reports there’s a bar on Chapel Street that won’t serve a particular drink on account of a certain football team that frequent that location and those boys don’t mix well fuelled by Long Island Iced Tea.
What? You get everything here at hellonwheels.
I also revisited a childhood favourite which I haven’t revisited for about 10 years as it was not as good as I remember and that was a lunch of what my older sister fondly called “Little Boy’s!” being the classic footy franks or saveloys. Very inappropriate nickname but amusing. Good in little bread rolls with sauce, I guess it’s the same as hotdogs.
What can I say? In Australia this is how we do it. You’re welcome.
The Absence of Light
I confess, toward the end of winter I did a little retail therapy at a merino wool sample sale. I bought this fantastic black jacket that is a bit more original Helen. A term I use to refer to me before my disability. If weather permits, I would live in black. It’s my favourite colour despite black not actually being a colour officially. It’s an absence of light. I’ll give you a moment to ponder this.
I have a good wardrobe of woollens these days as I can’t always put a jacket over warmer items and a full jumper just hikes up in all the wrong places. Or I can’t put my arms down as I resemble a penguin?
If in Melbourne, dress in layers. Can not give better advice.
I think it’s every five to eight years I add to my winter wardrobe, so I have more options but I’m already going to miss that jacket.
Schrondinger’s Cat
I mentioned in a recent post the theory of Schrodinger’s Cat? In regard to the belongings in my car space? This might help.
| Schrödinger’s cat – Wikipedia In quantum mechanics, Schrödinger’s cat is a thought experiment concerning quantum superposition. In the thought… |
This is actually where I know it from.
Reddit – The heart of the internet
| Reddit – The heart of the internet |
Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t learn something by watching television.
Side Note
Does anybody know how to make a Voodoo Doll? Asking for a friend.
Does anybody know what a transformer costs? When the one was stolen from my car space in the garage I figured WTF at least I still had another on my actual scooter which was being parked in the other side of the carpark close to my actual home and closer to where I still hope to store and charge it.
While finally getting to the point of negotiating a location to charge it. Some bastard returned and stole that transformer also. They cost over $500, if anyone is interested.
Thankfully, I got another transformer through funding but was not putting it to use until I could be guaranteed it would not follow the others. Are you all as frustrated as I am explaining this?
Sorry, it’s about to get worse.
The handyman installed an EV (Electric Vehicle) Battery cabinet to a wall near an Owner Corp power supply so I could charge my scooter finally. I moved my scooter to that location. It was charging.
By this stage, Autumn was closing in and day lights savings over. I don’t know if people are aware, but I am not waterproof and neither is my scooter. At least the electrical parts of my scooter. So, coming home after sunset on my scooter is often fraught with people not seeing me.
I also can’t see very well in the dark being half blind, so adventures on Hellonwheels ceased.
Helpful Information
Also, after moving into the building, I discovered weird things like my car-space is not accessible from the garage entrance on my side of the building?! Something else the real estate guy failed to mention!
Seems the two apartment towers each on a different street and joined in the middle by a large communal garden and BBQ area has a carpark that was built in such a way I often describe it like a deck of cards being shuffled by a high roller croupier.
Researching this tutorial has made me miss card games. Now I have other things to be annoyed about.
I attempted solitaire with actual cards in the early times of being one-handed. Soul destroying. Don’t do it!
New Hellonwheels
Have I mentioned I’m getting a new Hellonwheels this year? I know I haven’t. I’ve been too busy sorting the permanent housing or garaging and powering location for it in a communal garage.
To be fair, I had asked my support coordinator before I moved back in November 2024 if she could help sort these things before I moved so I would not be without the use of my scooter. The best time of year to be out and about on my scooter is summer. I literally had to pester my support coordinator to assist me with this task. In the end she did neither of those things. Support or coordinate.
I received a text with a company name who helped with this issue and the comment that they were expensive. I have never been angrier. Or so I thought.
At my previous address and all previous addresses over the last 15 years, I had been storing my scooter in a shed that had been funded for me by my first OT and over time it was a method of great importance and security to maintaining some independence for allowing me to get to local appointments without the assistance of carers or doing some hunter/gathering solo, to get ahead of when I did have carers for limited times.
When I moved, I concentrated on the things inside my new home. I don’t know if you have ever moved one-handed, but I’m limited by weight and size. For something without ADHD when I move homes I find I am always moving around, moving things from one location to another until everything settles to where I can best store, access or use it one-handed. Somethings only I can put away as I need to be able to get it out again if nobody else is around. Somethings that worked in my previous home may not work here.
I lagged in storing my belongings in my storage cage because I had to wait for my handyman to bring bolt cutters. I wanted to have him cover the inside with black plastic. to keep prying eyes from my belongings, my gardening supplies and my boxes of bits. Don’t need to explain that I hope. I was not allowed to erect my shed in my car space because its height got in the way of the sprinkler system and storing my scooter there was redundant as there was no power supply I could access and all the other fucking things.
I had been so busy sorting inside my home, I had implemented the theory of Schrodingers Cat to the belongings in my car space.
My neighbour who has the car-space beside me informed me my belongings had been rummaged through. When I checked I found a transformer for my scooter had been stolen. What the actual F. Do I need to finish this sentence?
At least this meant I poked my handyman to sort out the things by stopping ‘Mr get these things away’ And then…
Who is old enough to remember a great joke from the 90’s about Lawyers
Joke goes like this “What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”
Answer: A bloody good start.
I offer you the modern version. “What do you call 100 real estate agents at the bottom of the ocean?”
Think you have this from here?
What kind of scumbag sells a forever home to someone who has disabilities advising them falsely on how easy they can access things like I don’t know, a car space, power to a mobility scooter and not tell them of impending costs and increase in fees?
Did I mention we are up for a new lift in 2026? Annoyingly, the lift has been a major annoyance this year, often being out of action for days, sometimes only hours. One particular Friday, I left to go shopping and my phone blew up as the building group chat had so many messages about the lift being out. I had to right leg it up the stairs upon returning from shopping with a carer on her first day with me.
A few strangers, neighbours in the building had come out to help carry my shopping upstairs and for that I was very grateful, but alas, being in a building with only one lift was something that was an afterthought, in the end once I found the right location, number of bedrooms and within a budget, I could cope with.
Thanks dad! Love you, Dad. Don’t hate me because my father loved me.
Dear Channel 10
You fucked up! Not here to make friends just influence people.
A few months ago, people started reporting my favourite news program to be shit-canned. I thought there was time, not that I imagined I could influence some kind of reprieve. But only as a week later a deadline was announced and it was a foregone conclusion.
My favourite news program would include actual news, comedians and even musicians. So much wrapped up into an hour six days a week. I found if I was ill informed on a particular topic or just oblivious or naive it was explained in bite sized pieces so I could understand. I understood why there was a stampede at the Wall of Mecca back in 1015.
I know, what? There was a stampede where people were crushed and it wasn’t at some music concert or festival. But interesting and questionable how these happen in today’s modern times?
The most informed and completely unlike me individual host being Waleed Ali, someone I quote daily. He was often given the tough job to report like why there is another mass shooting in America. (he will start with how much he hates it) Because mass shootings generally don’t occur in Australia, we just can’t get our heads around why and how this can happen again and again and over again. Just how the fuck it keeps happening?
Have I mentioned we don’t have guns in Australia? Well, not like other countries at least. We have had some machete and knife incidents we are not well pleased with. You can search for Waleed Ali’s social media presence, but I don’t believe he has one. I didn’t check because it is well mentioned on the show he has zero interest in an online persona.
I believe he is part of a podcast which is something I don’t do. But in short, He is from Melbourne, Australia with Egyptian heritage. He was raised on Vegemite and the locally produced music program “Countdown” as I was.
He is actually younger than I am, by six years. I didn’t stalk; I just asked Google. Oh, he’s Muslim, which I am not. But in short, he’s a TV personality, Lawyer and sometime lecturer. I’ve met students he has taught. He’s married and has children. He’s a disability advocate and most importantly is credited by me daily for the line – “Bandaid on a bullet wound!” Because it’s often the best way to describe life with disabilities and how others try to shorthand a fix for a problem I must then revisit over and over again.
Anyway, way, back to how royally Channel 10 fucked up! Should I have premised this post with a swear warning? Or set myself a swear limit? As if!
I think Channel 10 executives were so trying to get the Millennial audience they lost the Gen X and older audience.
I mean, the Millennials as far as I can tell won’t take a job unless they get paid $100 grand a year and they holiday like retiree’s and spend their cash on smashed avo. But complain they can’t afford a mortgage or cover their HECS debt. They are not prioritising being sat home to watch the news at night they are out for dinner at expensive restaurants.
Had not intended to throw all millennials under the bus however, I spent my youth working and studying in the only course that exists where I wouldn’t get a job because I was a woman, a straight woman, without a car or a driver’s license. Ah, I am studying Visual merchandising. Because I didn’t get into what I wanted to study but I needed life to start in Melbourne, so I jumped. Had to get the hell outta Dodge.
FYI, Window dressing jobs at the big department stores were only employing older gay men! or when management was away, they might employ a female. I couldn’t do freelance without an ability to get around. (no car or driver’s license) And my photos didn’t turn out so no folio to find work.
I was also in my twenties in the 90’s when there was a recession. You grabbed any work you could find and you had to hustle. Hence, my commitment to Hospo and keeping myself busy.
Side Bar. I only learnt a few years ago when I was working in the club scene in my twenties I was working in Hospo. Which is short for Hospitality. I will circle back to this another day indeed.
Also, from what I can tell the Millennial generation is getting all their news from social media the algorithm’s giving them all the things they are interested and only that. It must be nice to have a belief system not based on history and legacy.
But going back to the stupidity of Channel 10 Exec’s? Yes, they bragged there would be a super awesome replacement. Paraphrasing somewhat. My bad, it wasn’t. I’ve watched it twice. It was dry. Bland and very boring. If I wanted that I could watch other channels. So, this now is to be replaced with a streamlined version of the 16+ year long program called the Project. When that will happen is anybody’s guess?
Spitting Chips
Now, this post should come with a warning, there will be swearing or alluding to words I normally will not so much as utter, but I feel you will allow considering the circumstances.
There was one particular Monday, I went down to fang it to a 12.30pm appointment. I had another appointment at the same practice, so Hellonwheels comes in handy. Even allowing me to scoop up take-away on my way home and maybe some items from a supermarket. Fresh milk anyone?
I went into the garage and had two sets of keys in my hand as well as my walking stick and the flag for my scooter. I keep the flag inside as it’s not my first flag. If it’s a selfish person or a low hanging branch they seem to walk.
I walked in the direction of my scooter and looked up, my step slowed when I realised it was not where I expected it to be. The transformer cords dangling loose out of the EV cabinet. Eyes wild, I couldn’t decide if I leave the flag where I expected to find my scooter.
But time was short, I only had 20 minutes until my first appointment, I couldn’t afford to reschedule. I had to get to both that day.
Mother trucker!
What kind of LOW LIFE Scumbag steals a Mobility Scooter? I’m still months later yet to cry. What’s the point? Too angry! One-handed without pockets I was juggling two sets of keys, my walking stick and the flag. Don’t even know why I was still holding on to that.
All while calling my lovely Young John. No time to talk. Was he free? Could he help me get to my appointment? Use the key to get from the carpark into the foyer and then the lift.
Next call to who Young John would refer to as my Indian boyfriend. Basically, any other taxi driver I call to be my transport.
I had to problem solve getting to my appointments. Unlock my front door after going up in the lift. Put flag and scooter keys inside. Back downstairs and out to the street. Get in taxi. Call Owner Corp regarding CCTV Footage. That process alone should have been easier. Made it to my appointment only fifteen minutes late. So grumpy, I did not manage to sleep at my physio appointment. So angry I was.
Hell onWheels/Life One Handed 