Asking for a Friend

Published July 7, 2025 by helentastic67

Asking for a Friend

I wonder what people would recommend for someone with ADHD (hope it’s OK to refer to it as such? We all know it’s one of the many in the spectrum now just referred to as ASD?)

What would people recommend for the big projects that consume all your time, the playing with your Meds, drinking more or less coffee to get through the day and the tasks, then the smoking pot to come down at the end of the day?

Asking for a friend.

Think we have all been around people on the spectrum and seen how some cope or don’t cope. We have been on the cold face of receiving or cleaning up after them.

ASD in disability circles I’m finding has been the latest disability to be in the spotlight and the newbies or the young people now more women as its better understood the symptoms in women are different. 

I don’t have a lived experience of ASD, just so you know, but I see people who do it well, I’ve seen the new young ones being all “You don’t know what! Bitch please!” I was diagnosed at 34 with my AVM and received all kinds of bullshit ever since.

It’s the low expectation of (Quote by Graeme Innes) “So people with disabilities keep having to deal with the soft bigotry of low expectations.” Now as well as swimming against the tide of negative attitudes.

Someone related to me suggested I might have ADHD too, I know I’ve seen comedians who joke about being recently diagnosed, by a friend and that its some kind of pyramid scheme.

So, too said family member. “Bitch please!”……No, I said “I’m a High Functioning ABI. Have I not suffered enough?”

Expectations From Others

Published June 30, 2025 by helentastic67

Expectations From Others

Sometimes, there are little things about having a disability that you would never imagine or believe.

People will always imagine everyone treats me as a human being that deserves respect, love and support and that might feel fair and truthful for some of the time.  However, on occasion someone you least expect will throw their emotional baggage at you they refuse to deal with themselves, I gather.

When I’m depressed, I hibernate to minimise fallout on others. I’ve found biting and hissing at others just makes them less likely to sign up for more.

It’s not for everyone. It’s not even good for a long-term solution for anyone with mental health issues. But I like to consider I’m taking responsibility for my issues and not projecting my shit on others. But other times, when someone wants to pick a fight with me, they will throw it in my face that I’m uneducated. 

I’m sorry! Did you hear me?

About ten-years-ago I had an OT ask me “How far I made it in school?” I was offended. I finished secondary school. Then completed three years of Tertiary, Arts, sure, however, I’ve since completed a leadership course of which this blog was my project. I also did part of a Certificate IV in assessment and training but don’t even start me on that.

I never had to do a four-thousand-word essay until my first year of tertiary. My art history lecturer thought my presentation on Pop Art and the artists Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein was brilliant. I know it may sound like I’m justifying but! 

One thing I would never do is kick anybody when I’m struggling so I feel better about myself. So, you may be able to tell I’m having a hard time.

Sometimes, being one-handed, having half one’s eyesight, not being able to see. Work catches up on me. And as per I’ve some blogging to catch up on. I really don’t like blogging as a reactionary measure because I like to let the dust settle but maybe I need to rant.

Then I foresee many posts to context the ranting. Alas, it is 12.30am, and while this is early, I feel I should call it a day. Unpacking this shit always feels like unpacking dirty laundry.

Busy Life

Published June 23, 2025 by helentastic67

Busy Life

Don’t know how this happened or when it stops, but if anyone wants to pitch in, I’m taking offers.

Lots happening since moving late last year and just when I feel I’m catching up, shit hits the fan and more happens and I’m behind the eight ball again.

Also, going through some crazy emotions and attempting to have people who are paid to do things for me and while I’m project managing these issues, they want to be tapped in for what reason exactly. I presume only so they can touch my funding and then get paid for assisting me.

So, angry. So ANGRY! ONCE I’M ON TOP OF ALL THE THINGS I WILL BE SURE TO SINGLE TASK and sit and give 100% of my ATTENTION TO BLOGGING.

MEANWHILE, ITS MONDAY AT 1.15AM and I am watching 60 Minutes online as I tap out these words. To be continued…

Angry

Published June 15, 2025 by helentastic67

Angry

I have recently self-diagnosed well, myself with a new medical condition. It’s called being ANGRY. I suggested this via text to my GP who replied, “Not so recent!” and a recommendation to “Chill” never have words had the desired effect rather than a red flag to a bull. However, I gave him a “Hahaha!” 

Every now and again I reach a level of intolerance to people just wasting my time. Not my GP, he’s always part of the solution. Not part of the problem. But then there’s everyone else.

For example, my tram route in Melbourne still does not have accessible platforms throughout. I think my route is only one of two. Ours is the longest tram route in Melbourne. There is no excuse! I mentioned it should be an agenda item at a local council meeting and was informed by someone new that it had been discussed at a previous meeting back in 1924. I just made up that date to be fair and its pre-dates the meeting it was discussed at. 

And you know unlike that new council member I both attended that meeting and can look out my balcony to tell you there are still No accessible tram stops throughout, nor even the area they had promised to be achieved by late 2024. (That date is accurate! FYI!) The proof is in the pudding that it’s still not done. 

I think this is part of the problem of why I hate email so very much. They just go back and forth not making me feel like much is achieved. Just people pushing responsibilities onto someone else, because people don’t want to do their job, or don’t know how to do something that’s been asked of them, so deflecting and avoiding a learning experience. 

Also, to my great annoyance is when I must educate people on what should be included on an invoice. What the actual fuck people.

I’ve been project managing a little something lately that has been doing my head in. To be continued…

Enough

Published June 9, 2025 by helentastic67

Enough

You know those blog posts you read that give you all the answers and a bit of TMI? This is that post.

Fifty-Two years with an AVM (Arterial Venus Malformation)
Migraines.
Disc bulge surgery.
Carpel tunnel surgery.
Hernia surgery.
Lost half my eyesight. 
Endo diagnosis.
Hot fucking flushes.
And a UTI.

Have I not suffered enough? Which do you think is on my one last nerve? It’s ironically not the hot flushes, although.

Crisis

Published June 2, 2025 by helentastic67

Crisis

And here we are again, sitting with the intention to smash out my next batch of blog posts, to catch up on all the things. With the best of intentions I’ll see how this goes?


The best meme I’ve seen at the end of January 2025 stated, “This month was a long year!” and I whole heartedly agree.


That is to say by the end of 2024, it was a bit of a shitstorm. About a month and a half, ending in late November I was in absolute crisis. I’m relieved to say I rarely have had to resort to that particular word but it’s accurate.


You see, late last year, I moved my home. Well, just me and the contents. Not far at all as the crow flies, but packing up after seven comfortable years of more affordable rent the earth shifted and I relocated to my forever home.


The lead up to which, as much as I’d tried to have everything sorted and come together resulted in me not having the much needed funding, the extra carers and the so called promised help on the day. I’ve only just found the accurate word for how the big day moving was.


The following week after the trucks came, I had two Little Red Trucks (I only use them) and four people. They spent seven hours relocating me this one last time.


I have moved lots in my life. Plenty of times in my twenties, four times now since my disability and I’ve taken to making the statement, “I’M NEVER MOVING AGAIN! I’M GOING FROM HERE TO THE GRAVE! OK, I’M GOING FROM HERE TO THE FURNACE! WHAT! TOO MORBID? YES, I’M GOING TO BE CREMATED!”


When telling people about my new Forever Home, I’ve hinted at several things until I’m asked, “How much is the rent?” I smile just a little and shake my head in the negative. I’m never paying rent again. Quickly followed by “Don’t hate me because my father loved me!” Next.

Best Advice for the Newly One-Handed

Published May 26, 2025 by helentastic67

Best Advice for the Newly One-Handed

Always keep a part or parts of your hand free and clean. You never know when you need to pause something with the edge of a hand or finger or put out a hand to catch yourself from stumbling over.

Nobody bothers to tell you this it’s something you work out over time. You are welcome!



Keys Can Have Layers and So Forth

Published May 19, 2025 by helentastic67

Keys can Have Layers and So Forth

Today! The D.B. finally went to its home in the storage cage in my carpark along with some laundry tubs a friend had bought to help me move but, just ended up needing to be moved then stored in my new home because said friend yet to return to see my new home and collect them. It is to say it’s another good example of why I stand by the decision to have bought a small dolly trolley years ago.


My carer today, standing the D.B. Upright and weirdly the plastic tubs perched on top, little adventures like this take time, planning and all the other chores caught up on so time can be put to tasks such as the D.B. going to its storage place.

Being one-handed I manage the keys, the doors, the buttons in the lift and the navigational prowess. Down to the ground floor, where outside the lift is a small area with a sensor light and another door to the garage. As we got out of the lift the architecturally flawed items fell and as I opened the door to the garage a man appeared. He had gotten out of the car someone was parking right next to the door. He was an older man, some salt and pepper in his hair and beard I couldn’t help myself, I told him “Thats not a dead body!” I think he appreciated my comment as he informed me, he didn’t believe me.

Times like these I appreciate despite my A.B.I. I’m quick witted. People probably wouldn’t even be aware of my A.B.I. That I’ve had longer than my fifty-two years, but I gave him a quick retort “It’s OK, because I may not know where you live but I don’t know where you park?” and from that he got in the lift and was gone. From knowing his carpark can work out his address.

So, inside the storage cage bits is protected from prying eyes, should anybody think to break into my storage cage, if the sight of what could be a dead body doesn’t scare them? Discovering rolls of off cuts of carpet will be to their greater disappointment.

Blacksmiths Were the Original Mixed Business

Published May 12, 2025 by helentastic67

Blacksmiths Were the Original Mixed Business

I know, my posts have been so cryptic lately, why’s that? There has just been so much happening and going on, it’s hard to keep things simple. Remember, simple can be boring.

I purchased some Billy’s at the Swedish Warehouse to store my DVDs in my new home.
Billy’s, a type of slim shelving units purpose built for CD’s or DVD’s, conveniently. Swedish Warehouse? IKEA. You are welcome.


Even getting a project like this to completion is a multi-faceted project. Who has the muscle, who has the appropriate method of transport? Also, who can put it together?

Eventually, it came together and a few extra hours over a few weeks for the right carer to unpack boxes and build. Four Billie’s leaning against my bookcases in my study. Looking weirdly like coffins in an old blacksmiths business. I will hope the Meme Queen can bring the image to us here.

One of my older carers, I explained my intention for storing two pieces of carpet off cuts so I could store them elsewhere, and she opened the last box, everyone pitching in to the best of their abilities and physical capacities. Sometimes, I explain my plan for world domination and over time they see said “Plan” coming together they understand how I work and if they can do anything to get the plan to come together, they will help. I came from my bathroom after my shower to see this.

Bloody nearly died. I hadn’t expected her to make it happen, I only told her what I planned to try and achieve, so she just pitched in and got it done. I told her it looked like a Dead Body. She didn’t disagree. I should totally put it in my storage cage in the undercover car park and if anyone wants to imagine it’s a D.B. and it sends the message not to mess with me. This could work to my advantage. Maybe this post should have been called “D.B.?”

Another, I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This

Published May 5, 2025 by helentastic67

Another I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if it’s not you, maybe somebody you know does?

Back in my twenties when other people seemed to have a new boyfriend or girlfriend every few months, I was very single. Not sex and the city single just waiting for my soulmate kinda single. Still waiting but this prick is so lost it’s annoying. Meanwhile, I perfected my empathy at the newly heartbroken with lines like “I never liked him for you!” “You deserved better!” Both goodies I still use to this day. So good are they.


On occasion, someone looks at me and asks if I really mean it. Honestly, I liked them until they gave me a reason not to. Now, you are heartbroken, so I really don’t have to think about them anymore either. I used this method with a good friend recently and felt the need to explain in all sincerity, I had liked his now “recent ex” up until he decided to leave him. He knew exactly how I meant it.

Even people who get it together and find their soul mate can’t keep it together and grow old together and I heard the enviable line recently, “Just get to the part where you sit on the couch, binge watch TV and get fat together!”


This is probably part of the reason I avoid dating. I mean, I don’t wanna do the cull the idiots from the one soulmate out there who is the one for me. Someone I’m prepared to get in the car and listen to music we both agree on for the whole journey and be interested in the, I’m just saying we have similar tastes and preferences. Been there. Done that! Not doing it again!

My last boyfriend didn’t appreciate my taste in music and the only common ground was when he suggested I put on the “soulful black man!” He was of course referring to Nina Simone. Who I pointed out originated from the country of his birth. You know those moments when you just know you dodged a bullet. Exactly!